


Placing Faith

by OneWhoSitsWithTurtles



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Comfort, Established Relationship, Falling In Love, Family, First Kiss, First Time, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Gangs, Growing Up Together, Hand Jobs, Hurt/Comfort, Important notes inside, M/M, Political Campaigns, Slow Build, Torture, Training, Universe Alteration, War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-21
Updated: 2014-08-27
Packaged: 2018-01-16 10:35:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 24
Words: 155,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1344337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OneWhoSitsWithTurtles/pseuds/OneWhoSitsWithTurtles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Captain Levi Rivaille is second in command of the Survey Corps, a gang that is at constant war with the Military Police who, despite saying they act on behalf of the Crown and the people, are corrupt and violent with anyone who doesn't fall in line. Even at twenty years old Levi is seen as one of the most powerful soldiers, with detached ruthlessness in his way of life. Which means that no one was expecting him to adopt a young eight year old boy named Eren, who is orphaned when the Survey Corps' battle with the Military Police level the Shiganshina District.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> **Important Notes: Please read first**  
>  \+ Many of the tags, the rating, and both warnings, reference later parts of the story  
> \-- ie. There is a warning of 'Underage' but Levi and Eren do not get together until Eren is 17
> 
> \+ This story starts off with Erwin/Levi (established) and remains that way for a while
> 
> \+ Levi/Eren is a slow building relationship due to Eren's starting age
> 
> \+ This is set in the canon world of SnK, but there are no titans
> 
> \+ I will be posting a chapter weekly; either Thursdays or Fridays depending on how busy work is
> 
> \+ I know that Levi's last name isn't 'Rivaille' but he needed a last name for the story and I liked how it sounded
> 
> \+ Since SnK's author, Isayama Hajime, has requested Kodansha's official English translation to 'avoid gendered pronouns...or at least to use he and she with equal frequency' in reference to Hanji, I will be using 'zhe' as a gender neutral pronoun for Hanji in this story
> 
> \+ I will be tracking this story under #fic: placing faith

Shiganshina District was a smoking skeleton of the city it had once been. Many buildings had collapsed, foundations made unstable by a stray grenade or set aflame as blood stained the streets. No one would have the answer of who started it; the Survey Corps and the Military Police shared equal blame for the city that had fallen to ruin because of their endless war. The Survey Corps was trying to expand their territory and the Military Police decided that they'd rather level the town than have the gang running it.

 

Levi was sailing above the remaining rooftops, making sure he avoided any toppling debris. The battle was winding down but he could never stop himself from surveying the damage. The Military Police troops had been wiped out but Levi wouldn't consider the Survey Corps victors; they would be scattering before Military Police reinforcements arrived. Besides, in their blind desire to cut down their enemies they had destroyed any value that the Shiganshina District had once held to anyone. Not to mention the senseless loss of life in the process.

 

With a sigh of aggravation Levi set his sights on the far wall; many of his comrades had already slipped back into the larger cities to disperse and regroup later when the Military Police had given up. It was time to go. Levi turned in the direction of the wall and launched another grappling hook of his 3D Manoeuvre Gear to pull him forward, aided by the compressed air canisters attached to his hips.

 

Levi wanted to get out of sight as soon as possible but the sound of an anguished wailing and a scream for help caught his attention. He looked down as he sailed by and noticed a young boy kneeling in front of a collapsed house, his hands clasped with an older woman's who was trapped beneath the house foundation. Despite his better judgement Levi altered his course and landed heavily on the cobblestone road by the house.

 

The young boy turned his large green eyes on Levi, tears spilling down his cheeks. "Help, _please_!" he screamed again. "My mom is trapped! Help her!"

 

Levi approached cautiously, knowing already that he was stepping into something he should be avoiding. For some reason he couldn't ignore that desperate look or plea though, and he stepped close enough to look over the boy's mother. Immediately Levi could tell that she wouldn't survive; she was struggling to breathe and each time she coughed she cried out and blood trailed from the corner of her mouth. Her whole body was crushed by the house and she wouldn't last long with her internal bleeding.

 

Her scared eyes sought Levi and pinned him in place. "Take Eren with you. Make sure he lives!" Levi shook his head quickly and looked upwards, picking out a different rooftop to hook his Gear to. He was about to flee when her broken voice shouted, "You owe me this much!" She was sobbing now and it was a heart-wrenching sound as she groaned and spat more blood from her mouth. "If you hadn't brought this war to our district then Eren wouldn't have to grow up without a family! _Protect my boy_!"

 

Levi didn't ask where the kid's father was; that wasn't the point. He spun on his heel and knelt beside the boy, who was still crying and staring between them. "Do you even know who I am?" Levi asked. How could a mother entrust their boy to the care of a brutal killer like Levi?

 

"I know exactly who you are," she gritted her teeth. "And I'm going to trust you to use this opportunity to finally put your skills to good use. You—" the woman was cut off by a ragged cough. Levi winced, hearing a cracking noise when her body shifted with the force of the cough. Worse was the piercing sob of the boy beside him who was still holding his mom's hand like he believed that she would be okay as long as he didn't let go. Levi didn't look away when she looked up at him again. "Maybe you can even prove yourself to be more than a simple thug. Now _go_! I don't want him to see..."

 

She didn't want her child to watch her die.

 

"Mom, I'm not leaving you!" the boy shouted.

 

Knowing he had to get out of the district before more Military Police arrived, Levi stood up and dragged Eren into his arms. The kid fought him viciously, squirming until it was almost impossible to hold him. Then Eren's nails swiped Levi's cheek, and although the stinging of his skin wasn't the worst pain Levi had ever felt, it startled him enough to allow Eren to slip free and race back to his mother.

 

She had tears in her eyes as she reached her free arm out as far as she could and hugged the boy close. They hugged for a long moment and Levi stood back, out of place. "Listen to me, Eren. This is important." Her breathing was laboured and growing worse. The boy kneeled in front of her, quieting himself. "I will always love you and watch over you, but you have to trust Levi now and go with him. He'll keep you safe."

 

"I don't want to go," Eren sniffled.

 

"I know, honey," her fingers stroked his hair and Eren fell quiet again. "I don't want to go either. But I want you to live a full and happy life, and I know you'll make me proud. You're my big, brave boy." She kissed his forehead and when Levi swallowed he felt a lump in his throat. "I love you so much, Eren."

 

"I love you too, mom," Eren hugged her again, her arm winding around him in return. "You can live through this, mom. We'll get the house off you and... _Mom?_ " The woman's arm had loosened and finally fallen as she passed away, her last action to hold her son tightly. " _Mom_! No, please!" Eren cried loudly. " _Open your eyes_!"

 

Levi couldn't handle anymore. He stepped forward and scooped Eren up in his arms, holding tightly enough that Eren couldn't squirm away again. Levi couldn't even be angry with the kid when he yelled in Levi's ear, calling and reaching out to his dead mother one last time as Levi activated his Gear and flew up to the rooftops. It was only after the collapsed house had fallen from view that Eren wrapped his arms around Levi's neck and sobbed openly. Levi held him closer and focused on escaping the Shiganshina District to disappear into the busier streets of the inner cities.

 

The Survey Corps had safe houses set up in each city, the location only known by members and the few city citizens that hated the Military Police just as much and could be trusted to deliver supplies and messages. Their larger headquarters was hidden out in the wilderness and forests where the city dwellers feared to venture. Still, Levi knew it would take too long to get to HQ that day and instead made his way towards one of the further safe houses beyond the wall, wanting to be as far away from the ruined district as possible.

 

When they were getting close Levi landed in an alley and slipped into the shadows. Eren was still crying loudly and even though Levi covered his mouth, it didn't muffle the sound much. Exasperated, Levi steeled himself and rushed through the alleys, not staying in one place long enough to draw attention. Finally he reached the safe house and gave a sigh of relief once he was inside and the door was bolted behind him.

 

"The fuck?" a voice said immediately. "Is that where the wailing was coming from? Why did you bring a kid here, Captain? You're lucky you made it back here without that noise drawing attention."

 

"Fuck off, Auruo," Levi shot back, still holding Eren in his arms as he turned on his heel and levelled Auruo with a glare. "I would never let someone follow me here and you know it."

 

Auruo balked and shifted his weight. "But still, what's with the kid?"

 

"Mind your own business," Levi avoided going into details. "Where's the Commander?"

 

"Already headed back to HQ. We're supposed to stagger our regroup over the next few days," Auruo told him. It was obvious that Auruo was still confused seeing Levi carrying around a crying child, but he wouldn't question his Captain again.

 

Levi nodded. "And who else is here?"

 

"Gunter and Petra are patching up the wounded in the basement," Auruo said. "Nothing too bad but no sense letting infection spread. And Erd is scrounging up something for dinner."

 

Eren was still crying, though quietly as his body trembled in Levi's arms. By now Levi could feel the tears and snot soaking into the collar of his shirt and he wanted to change as soon as possible. "I'll be in my room," he said and then took the stairs up to the second floor where a bunch of bedrooms had been set up for any Survey Corps member who needed a bed.

 

Levi entered his room at the end of the hall and locked the door behind him. He walked over to the bed and tried to set Eren down but grunted when Eren just clung to him tighter and refused to let go. "Hey, let go," he ordered, sighing when Eren ignored him. Levi reached back and pried Eren's fingers from where they were clutching Levi's jacket and finally got Eren on the bed.

 

As Levi slipped into the tiny bathroom attached to the bedroom to grab his first-aid kit he cursed under his breath. He had no experience with kids at all, and he highly doubted he would be good with them. Levi could still hear Eren sobbing softly from the other room and there was nothing Levi could think to do that would comfort him. What could he say or do? This boy had just lost his family and his home. Eren was stuck here with a stranger he didn't know, and his life would never be the same again.

 

Levi had promised Eren's mother though, and he would try his best. He returned to the bedroom and set the first-aid kit on the bed beside Eren before grabbing one of the two chairs from the table in the corner to sit in front of the boy. He could already see a few scrapes on the boy's face and arms, but Levi cleared his throat. "Are you hurt anywhere?"

 

Eren sniffled and wiped at his eyes with his hands as he looked up at Levi. "My arms," he held them out. "And my knees when I fell."

 

"I'm going to clean the cuts and bandage everything, okay?" he said stiffly and reached forward when Eren said nothing. More tears trickled down Eren's cheeks when he blinked and he winced each time Levi cleaned a cut on his face and arms, but Eren was quieter now. Levi had thought he'd be grateful for some silence but it immediately made him feel tense and uncomfortable, so as he nudged Eren's pants up his legs to reveal his bloody knees, he spoke up again. "What's your last name?"

 

"Jaeger."

 

"And how old are you?"

 

"Eight," Eren answered and bit his lip when Levi cleaned the deeper gash on his right knee. "Hold old are you, Levi?"

 

"Twenty," Levi answered in return. "And I'm going to be honest; I don't have much experience taking care of kids. But I'm going to do my best, alright?"

 

"Alright," Eren said, and didn't fight when Levi held his leg still while he wrapped a bandage around each knee to finish up. "Hey, Levi...?" Levi paused to give Eren his attention. Already Eren's bottom lip was wobbling. "Will I ever see my mom again?"

 

Levi swallowed thickly but didn't look away. "No, Eren, you won't. I'm sorry." The tears flowed freely again and Eren choked on a sob. Levi continued, not sure what to do. "You're being very brave though," he praised quietly. "Your mom would be so proud of you."

 

Eren cried again but surprisingly, instead of withdrawing he reached forward towards Levi. His clothes were already ruined so Levi didn't hesitate as he stood and pulled Eren into his arms. He held Eren aloft and didn't lean away when Eren clutched to him tightly. Levi sat on the edge of the bed and let Eren cry, because there was no remedy other than to allow Eren to cry himself out. Even then, more tears would come.

 

At one point Levi remembered the way Eren's mother had stroked his hair and how it had calmed the boy. Hoping it would have a similar effect and not make Eren cry harder, Levi lifted one hand and hesitantly stroked Eren's hair. Immediately Eren relaxed in Levi's arms and tucked his face against Levi's neck. Tears tickled Levi's skin but slowly Eren calmed. Levi continued to brush his fingers through Eren's hair until he realized that the boy had cried himself to exhaustion and had fallen asleep.

 

Carefully Levi pulled the covers back and settled Eren on the bed, wrapping him up in the blankets to keep him warm. Once he was certain that Eren was asleep and would stay that way, Levi moved to sit beside the table and proceeded to clean and bandage his own wounds from the battle, as well as the three cuts Eren's nails had left on his cheek. Levi couldn't even be mad at the kid for it. When that was done he grabbed a new set of clothes and changed in the bathroom. His clothing hadn't sustained too much damage from the battle but he would need to wash the tears and snot out before he'd wear that shirt again.

 

Levi wrapped his dirty clothes up in a bag that he would take with him when he headed back to HQ and set it in a corner of the room. He was just debating what to do next and was halfway to the bedroom door when a sad voice whispered. "Please don't leave me."

 

Levi turned and saw Eren peeking out at him from the blankets. He was awake but just barely, his eyelids drooping tiredly. Levi knew that Eren would probably fall back to sleep anyway but he couldn't bear to leave the kid alone after watching his mom die. "I won't," Levi promised as he sat on the edge of the bed. "But you need sleep."

 

Eren yawned but remained stubborn. "You can sleep too."

 

Levi was going to say that he wasn't tired, but Eren's yawn had spawned one of his own. "There's only one bed," Levi argued. He could've taken one of the spare rooms to sleep but that would defeat the purpose of staying close to Eren.

 

"We can share," Eren pointed out sleepily.

 

Deciding that it wasn't worth arguing further, Levi moved around to lie on the far side of the bed. He didn't know what to do when Eren rolled over and buried his face against Levi's chest, but almost immediately Eren was asleep again and Levi didn't want to wake him up so he remained still. This was certainly not how he had been expecting his day to go; just as Eren's life had changed, Levi's life too had been turned upside down. He didn't know what the future held but for that moment it was easy to let his exhaustion take over as his eyes slipped closed.

 

#

 

Levi's eyes flashed open the second he heard someone attempt to turn the doorknob of his bedroom. The lighting in the room was dim; the sun must've just set. Levi could feel how stiff his body was but was grateful that he hadn't received worse injuries from the battle. He also noticed Eren who was curled up under the blankets beside Levi, thankfully still asleep, and _geez_ the kid was like a furnace.

 

Quietly Levi slid out of bed and on light feet approached the door. From his travel pack he grabbed one of his smaller daggers and listened through the heavy wood of the door. He hadn't heard any retreating footsteps, which meant that the person who had tried to enter his room was still on the other side of the door but not attempting to break down the door. Although Levi assumed he would've heard an ambush if the Military Police had found the safe house, Levi reasoned that he had been sleeping deeply and could've missed something.

 

He carefully removed the lock on the door and then pulled the door open quickly to catch the other person off guard. Petra's eyes widened as she raised her empty hands. "C-Captain, sorry I woke you. I just wanted to tell you that dinner was ready."

 

Levi lowered the dagger in his hand. "Since when do you try to enter my room without knocking?"

 

Petra's gaze fell to the floor. "Auruo told me you brought a kid in with you. I was curious... I'm sorry."

 

Levi sighed. "Well he's asleep and I'd rather not wake—"

 

"Food?" A quiet voice questioned as a small hand tugged at Levi's pant leg. "I heard about dinner," Eren said even as his stomach rumbled noisily. Eren didn't seem at all bothered by the fact that Levi still had a dagger in one hand.

 

Petra's eyes had widened as she smiled and knelt down. "Hi there, sweetie. What's your name?"

 

Eren shuffled to hide behind Levi's leg, peeking out at her. "Eren."

 

"I'm Petra," she offered.

 

Eren blinked at her owlishly for a few seconds and then looked up to Levi. "Levi, I'm hungry."

 

Levi could immediately see Petra's eyes widening; no one was allowed to call him _just_ Levi except for Erwin, the one person higher in rank than him. And even then Erwin often called Levi by his last name instead. Still, she didn't say anything as she stood up. "Well let's get you some food then," she said cheerfully.

 

Eren held out a hand but shrunk back when Petra reached for it. With a quiet sigh Levi sheathed his dagger and then held Eren's hand. It had only been when Petra reached for him that Levi knew that Eren wanted to hold his hand. How the hell was Levi going to raise this kid? Levi led Eren down the stairs behind Petra towards the dining hall. When they walked in, it looked like the majority of the wounded were at the tables eating. It was eerie to hear them all go silent at once as they watched Levi walk by holding a child's hand.

 

Petra sat down at the table in the corner with Auruo, Erd and Gunter, all four of them veteran fighters and higher in ranking. They would have been in command if Levi wasn't in the building. Levi took his chair and grabbed a spare one for Eren to sit beside him. Everyone else already had food so Levi walked with Petra over to the table with food set out, and although he knew everyone was watching, he didn't put up a fight when Eren trailed close behind him.

 

Once they all had a plate of food they returned to the table. For the most part Levi remained quiet, listening to the others talk about their own experiences in the Shiganshina District during the fight. Chatter began to fill the rest of the room as everyone finally stopped staring at Levi and Eren, and Levi felt more relaxed. At least, he _had_ been feeling more relaxed until Auruo turned his gaze on Eren. "So kid, why are you stuck here with Captain Levi? Where are your parents?"

 

Eren quickly set his fork down, looking immediately sick. His skin was pale but a flush was overtaking his cheeks; it was obvious that Eren was trying and failing to contain the tears that were already filling his eyes. Eren opened his mouth to speak but then covered it with a hand when a weak sob escaped, and then he dashed from the dining room. Levi glared at Auruo as he stood from his chair. "Where the fuck do you think, asshole?" he snapped and then pursued Eren out of the room.

 

It wasn't hard to find him; Eren's sobs echoed down the hall. Levi came to the pantry door and knocked quietly. "Go away!"

 

"Eren, it's just me," Levi said softly. "Can I come in?"

 

More sniffling was all he received in response so Levi slowly opened the door and stepped inside. He flicked on the overhead light and then closed the door behind him, sitting down on the floor to hopefully make himself look less intimidating. Eren was curled up in the corner, his arms wrapped around his legs and his face buried against his knees. Levi didn't want to move closer and make Eren feel boxed in but he also didn't know what to say, and they ended up sitting there together for a long time as Eren cried himself out again.

 

The tears inevitably slowed and Eren took a shuddering breath. Eren wiped his face clean with the back of his hand and Levi tried to hide his cringe, especially when Eren looked to him. "I shouldn't have left her. I abandoned her."

 

"There was nothing more you could have done," Levi told him. "Even together we wouldn't have been able to lift the debris. I'm sorry, Eren, because I know it's not fair. But her last wish was for you to stay alive and that's what you're doing. That's what's important."

 

Eren shook his head and covered his face with his hands. "I don't know how. How can I keep going? I don't even _want_ to! I don't want to go a single day without her."

 

"Time will pass whether we wish it to or not," Levi said. "I'll tell you honestly that it will always hurt, but it will become easier to continue on."

 

"How do you know?" Eren shot back.

 

"Because I lost my parents too, and I wasn't much older than you are now," Levi admitted. There weren't many people who knew about his past, and in general Levi liked to keep it that way. "But I'm trusting you to keep that between us, okay?"

 

"Why?"

 

"I have an image to uphold," Levi explained. "People see me as powerful and ruthless, and that image will help protect both of us. Which reminds me. Whenever there are people around you need to call me Captain."

 

"Captain," Eren tested out the word, an unhappy look on his face.

 

"I don't like it either," Levi sighed. "But it's important. And you can still call me Levi when it's just us."

 

Eren glanced around and then moved closer, settling himself in Levi's lap. "Levi?" Levi hummed to encourage Eren to continue. "Is my mom gone because of you?"

 

Levi swallowed and closed his eyes. What was he supposed to say to that? He could lie. It would be easier to lie but if he was going to take care of this kid then Eren deserved the truth. "In a way, yes. If we hadn't been fighting in your district then she would probably still be alive."

 

"Did you decide to fight there?" Eren wondered.

 

Nervous but encouraged that Eren hadn't pulled away yet, Levi returned his fingers to Eren's hair. "No. But I followed the order and that's not much better."

 

"I don't understand," Eren muttered. "I should hate you but I don't." In fact, Eren was leaning into Levi's touch as he stroked the kid's soft brown hair. "I guess... because mom chose you to protect me. If you were someone to hate then she wouldn't have trusted you with me. You'll just have to prove her right," Eren's fingers clutched at Levi's shirt.

 

 _No pressure_. "I'll try my best." Eren hummed in return and rested his head against Levi's shoulder. They stayed like that for a few minutes until Eren's stomach grumbled, and Levi's stomach rumbled a response. Eren's smile at that was wobbly but it was nice to see something other than tears on his face. "Ready to go back and have more food?"

 

Eren nodded and stood up, Levi right behind him. For a second time the dining room fell silent when they entered but Levi ignored it. As they sat down Levi could see that Auruo looked properly reprimanded, Petra glaring at him from across the table. "Sorry, sir," Auruo muttered under his breath.

 

Levi waved him off and focused on eating, realizing how hungry he actually was. Eren remained silent as he ate but listened intently as the others introduced themselves and began conversations of lighter topics. Despite Auruo's original displeasure at seeing Levi bringing Eren in, they all seemed surprisingly curious and happy to have Eren there. Some Survey Corps members got married and had kids but it was a rare thing to have them around. At least if Levi didn't know what to do it looked like there were others he could ask for advice.

 

After dinner Eren began yawning repeatedly, slumping back in his chair. Not opposed to the idea of sleeping either, Levi took their plates over to the sink to wash and then returned to the table and offered a hand. Eren didn't take the hand and instead held both arms up. Knowing what this meant, Levi let Eren wind his arms around Levi's neck and hoisted the boy into his arms.

 

"When is everyone heading back?" Levi asked his table.

 

"Me, Gunter and Auruo are going to head back with a lot of the troops in the next three days," Erd said. "We were thinking it would be best if you and Petra went back together after things have had a few days to settle down."

 

"You'll look less suspicious having a kid with you if we look like a couple," Petra reasoned. "And we'll need to take some time in one of the outer cities to get Eren new clothes before continuing on to HQ."

 

New clothes. Levi hadn't even thought about that. "Right, sounds good," Levi agreed. As he held Eren close he could already feel Eren's breathing evening out. "Well this one is already half asleep so I should get him to bed. Safe riding," he said to his comrades and then headed up the stairs.

 

He dumped Eren back into bed and then grabbed the book he was currently reading from his travel bag. His body was still exhausted from the fight but he wasn't ready to sleep yet. Levi lit a candle and sat reading in the corner, hearing only the sound of their breathing and the distant chatter of other soldiers heading to bed. It was a relaxing hour but everything went downhill when he heard Eren whimper in bed.

 

Levi set his book aside and walked over immediately, looking the boy over. Even in the dim lighting he could see tear tracks marring Eren's face. Not knowing what else to do, Levi sat down on his side of the bed and stroked Eren's hair until Eren stopped whimpering and shifting around under the blankets. Knowing that the decision had been made for him, Levi got up only long enough to use the bathroom and blow out the candle before lying down beside Eren in bed. Levi had seen a lot of death that day as well, and somehow having Eren subconsciously roll over to lie against him helped quieten Levi's thoughts enough for sleep to claim him.

 

#

 

"Levi, I'm _tired_. Let's sleep!" Eren whined.

 

"I'm not tired yet," Levi argued, turning another page of his book. He was seated on the bed with his back against the headboard, reading in the quiet hours after dinner. It was already past Eren's bedtime but he had immediately become very stubborn about not wanting to sleep unless Levi was sleeping too. Normally Eren's memories of his mom came back stronger in the evenings and Levi wanted to get him to sleep before that happened if possible.

 

"It's cold," Eren complained again.

 

"Then get under the blankets," Levi said in return, containing his irritation.

 

"You too!" Eren insisted and tugged at Levi until he slid down into a half-seated position propped up against the pillows and headboard. Eren snuggled under the blankets, wrapping them tightly around his small body. With only his head poking out, he sent Levi a glare. "You're not sleeping!"

 

Levi finally paused and looked up. "I told you that I'm not tired yet. You don't need me to sleep. I'll still be right here."

 

"It's not the same," Eren sighed and crawled into Levi's lap, pulling the blankets along with him until Eren was half-sprawled on top of Levi and they were both covered in blankets. Levi tried to return to his book but was distracted when Eren pressed his face against Levi's cravat, nudging the fabric this way and that. "What's this?"

 

"It's called a cravat," Levi said.

 

"It looks silly," Eren informed him, though he continued to nuzzle it and Levi's neck beneath. "Why do you wear it?"

 

A memory played behind Levi's eyes, though he wouldn't voice the details to a child as young as Eren; the chains holding his hands behind his back and the blade digging into his throat. Levi had survived but would forever possess the scar. "I got a cut a long time ago on my neck. The cravat covers it."

 

"Can I see?" Eren requested with the normal curiosity of a child.

 

"I suppose," Levi said and unravelled the fabric, setting it on the bedside table. It was his last piece of uniform anyway; he had already changed into his loose sleeping shirt and pants.

 

Eren, still just a young boy, was a light weight in Levi's lap as his small fingers traced the scar circling about a quarter of Levi's neck. Levi knew it wasn't deep or horrible looking. Commander Erwin had already informed him that after so many years it was barely visible, the red scar tissue fading. Still, Levi generally preferred to hide it from view since he didn't enjoy the memories that returned when people questioned it.

 

"Does it hurt?" Eren asked him.

 

"Not anymore," Levi told him, though it did tickle his throat as Eren brushed the skin of his neck as he explored. Eventually Levi got tired of the scrutiny and wound an arm around Eren, capturing Eren in his embrace and holding him still. Eren squirmed and then clutched at Levi's arm and the blankets. "Now are you going to stop being stubborn and sleep?"

 

"Are _you_ going to sleep?" Eren questioned.

 

"Soon," Levi promised, keeping Eren in a loose arm lock as he picked his book back up. "Just try to sleep."

 

At last Eren rested his head against Levi's chest and relaxed. Levi only managed to read a few more pages of his book before Eren began to sniffle weakly in his arms, warm tears wetting the front of Levi's shirt. Levi didn't fault him and set aside his book easily this time, rubbing his free hand against Eren's back. " _Shhh_ ," he hummed to the boy. He didn't make false promises of things being okay, because right now to Eren, nothing was okay. Levi merely held Eren in his arms and shared his warmth as Eren sobbed himself into a restless sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warning:** For anyone particularly against Erwin/Levi, please note there will be a short Eruri smut scene in this chapter.

"Ready to go?" Petra asked from the hallway, in the process of shouldering her own travel bag and heading down the stairs. The rest of the safe house was mostly silent; everyone else had already made their way to HQ. Only the two members who always maintained upkeep of the house would remain.

 

Levi finished packing his own travel bag and slipped it over an arm. Then he reached a hand down and Eren grasped it tightly, looking up at him nervously. "Have you ever ridden a horse before?" Levi asked. Eren shook his head. "Alright, you'll ride with me then. Are you ready?"Eren said nothing but when Levi tried to step towards the door Eren dug his heels in. Levi sought patience and knelt down, meeting Eren's gaze. "What's wrong?"

 

"I don't want to leave," Eren said sadly.

 

Levi brushed a few stray strands of hair from Eren's face. "Why not?"

 

Tears were already brimming up in Eren's eyes. "Because then I'll be further away from mom."

 

Levi was used to this by now. He was proud of Eren for being as brave as he had been over the last three days, talking to a few soldiers in the safe house and even helping clean the dishes one night. And Levi didn't hold it against Eren when the tears randomly began to spill throughout the days and nights, knowing that memories of home and family would resurface unbidden frequently. It would take a long time for those thoughts and memories to become less painful.

 

He could understand why Eren didn't want to leave. Despite being in a different city and house the last few days, Eren knew he was still very close to his home district. But that district was no longer standing, his mother no longer in the doorframe waiting for him to return home. Willing to be corny when he knew it would help, Levi tapped a finger against Eren's chest. "You can never be far away from your mom. She's right here in your heart, and watching over you."

 

"It's not the same," Eren knocked Levi's hand away angrily. The tears fell but they were angry tears.

 

Levi didn't take it personally. "I know, kid."

 

Eren's hands balled into fists. "You can't make me leave!"

 

Internally Levi sighed, wanting to get out of the city and back to HQ where he and Eren would both be safer. He _could_ make Eren leave, but he wouldn't. "Alright, we'll stay."

 

Eren looked confused as he took a half step closer, lifting up his fists. "You can't trick me!"

 

Levi made a mental note to teach Eren hand-to-hand combat in the future, but for now focused on the issue at hand. "No tricks," he held his hands out in surrender. "I'll tell Petra we're staying until you're ready to leave."

 

"I never want to leave!" Eren's voice was rising.

 

"Then this'll be your new home," Levi shrugged.

 

" _This isn't my home_!"

 

Levi winced at the scream and his own mistake. He raised his arms in time to block Eren's punches, and instead of stopping the boy Levi allowed him to continue. Sometimes it helped to physically work out anger. Levi looked over when he heard footsteps coming back up the stairs. "Eren, stop! You shouldn't hit someone like that," Petra scolded as she saw the scene and approached.

 

Eren whirled on her, his face flushed red. "You're not my mom!"

 

"Eren," Levi said, low and calm with the voice he used to catch the attention of a scared or angry soldier. Eren's shoulders tensed up but he looked back to Levi. "If you need to yell at someone or hit them to get out what you're feeling you'll come to me. You don't hit or yell at anyone else. Understood?" Levi could control Eren, and wouldn't be hurt physically or emotionally by what Eren could dish out. He would take the abuse rather than force Eren to constrain his emotions until they burst free and Eren started making enemies.

 

"Yes, sir," Eren ducked his head.

 

"Good, now what do you say to Petra?" Levi didn't know where these words were coming from, but he couldn't help but think that he actually sounded like a parent.

 

Eren scuffed his shoe against the ground. "Sorry," he said sullenly. It wasn't the most heartfelt apology but Petra seemed less upset so it would do.

 

"Good," Levi said again. "So the decision lies with you, Eren. Are we leaving today or are we staying?" Levi asked, ignoring Petra's questioning look.

 

Eren was silent for a long time, and he didn't look up from the floor when he finally answered. "We can go."

 

"Are you sure?"

 

Eren brushed the back of his hand over his cheeks. "Yeah. Mom isn't there anymore."

 

Levi's heart ached for the boy and this time it was him opening up his arms to beckon Eren forward, rather than the other way around. Eren rushed into his arms and hugged him tightly, trembling but not crying loudly. Petra slipped out of the room unnoticed, giving them time alone. Levi didn't pull away until he felt Eren's arms loosen, and even then he stayed close. "Ready?"

 

Eren nodded and took Levi's hand and together they made their way down the stairs. It was a five minute walk through the alleys until they reached the stables with their horses. It would be too conspicuous to keep a group of horses together so the Survey Corps often scattered their horses throughout multiple trusted stables nearby.

 

Petra had already gotten their two horses tacked and was standing there waiting for them. Levi pulled himself up into the saddle first and then reached down, pulling Eren up with Petra's help pushing him the rest of the way. Eren settled into the saddle in front of Levi and gripped the part of the saddle where Levi told him he could hold onto. "We'll be riding for two hours and then stopping to get you some clothes and eat," Levi informed Eren while Petra pulled herself up onto her own horse. "Then it's another three hour ride."

 

Eren groaned and leaned back against Levi, but said nothing else on the matter. Petra looked over at him and Levi nodded. He wrapped one arm around Eren's middle to hold him, scared of Eren slipping from the saddle until he got used to being up on a horse. Then he pushed his horse into a trot, holding the reins in his free hand as he and Petra headed through the streets and into the farmlands that sat between each inner city.

 

They met no resistance on their ride through fields and towns, anyone that recognized them not bothered enough to say or do anything about it. Not that Levi and Petra lingered for any length of time to draw attention. When they reached the last city on their path before they would be out in forests and wilderness, Levi and Petra led their horses to an inn on the edge of town. Levi dismounted and tied up his horse before lifting Eren down to the ground.

 

For the most part he hung back and allowed Petra to do the shopping for Eren, though Eren never let Levi drift too far away. Levi wasn't certain how Petra was so good at these sorts of things and asked her while Eren was in the back trying on some clothes she had picked out for him. "I had a little brother once," Petra gave him a sad sort of smile. "He got sick and passed away before his tenth birthday."

 

"Sorry for bringing it up," Levi said.

 

Petra shook her head. "You didn't know. It's hard but it's been a while now. And now you know why I like helping you take care of Eren."

 

Levi snorted. "You should be the one taking care of him, not me."

 

"Don't be ridiculous," she nudged him. "I'm happy to help, but he clearly trusts you the most and feels safe with you. Not to mention the fact that he actually listens to you." This time Petra's smile was warm. "There's a lot more to it than just knowing how to pick out the right-sized clothes."

 

Levi hadn't even thought about it like that, and it made him smile. He turned back to the change room when Eren stepped out, holding his arms wide to show off the warm pants and jacket Petra had picked out for him. "What do you think, Levi? Oops!" Eren covered his mouth immediately, his eyes skirting to Petra. "I mean Captain."

 

Petra giggled and Levi let it slide; he already knew that Petra wouldn't think less of Levi for having more to him than the image he presented to the world. "Looks good," Levi praised. "Make sure to pick out a few favourites of everything. We won't be back in a city for a while."

 

Eren nodded his understanding and returned to the change room to try on more clothes. "He won't need many jackets," Petra reasoned as they stood side by side and waited for Eren to finish. "The seamstress back at HQ will be able to make him a Survey Corps jacket when he gets there."

 

Levi's eyes drifted to the rack of jackets beside him, his fingers brushing over the fabric as he searched idly. "I don't want him wearing a Survey Corps uniform," he admitted. "I know he'll be living with us but that doesn't mean I want him dragged into a war that isn't his own just because he's wearing our emblem." A jacket at the back of the row caught his eye and he pulled it off the hook, walking over to the change room to hold it over the top of the door. "Try this one on, Eren."

 

The jacket was yanked from his hand and Levi returned to Petra's side, who said nothing. A few minutes later Eren stepped out in a new set of pants and the jacket Levi had picked out. The fabric was warm and soft and dyed a dark green that reminded Levi of the Survey Corps' cloaks except without the emblem. Eren was smiling widely as he held his arms out. "I like it a lot."

 

"You look very handsome," Petra nodded enthusiastically, stepping forward to tug at the fabric a few times. "It fits you well but there's still room for when you grow. It'll last you a while."

 

Eren grinned and it was a beautiful sight. "I want this one!"

 

His smile was infectious and Levi didn't fight down his own smile since it was just him, Eren and Petra. "You can have it. But hurry up and pick some other clothes too. We'll grab lunch when you're done."

 

Eren nodded enthusiastically and continued trying on clothes. When he was done Levi used some of his spare money to buy Eren enough outfits to last him for a while, which included underwear and socks, a new pair of shoes, pyjamas, three pairs of pants and shirts, two sweaters and the green jacket. Levi knew that the seamstress back at HQ could make any extra clothes Eren might need. It made him happy seeing that Eren insisted on wearing his new green coat right out of the store, snuggled up tightly in the warm, green fabric.

 

They grabbed a quick lunch and then mounted their horses, their purchases packed away in saddlebags. Again Levi held Eren close and pushed his horse into a canter, wanting to get back to HQ where they could rest as soon as possible. They made good time and arrived a few hours before sunset. Even above the wind whipping by his ears Levi could hear Eren's gasp of awe when the old castle came into view beyond the trees.

 

It felt good to pass beyond the castle gate and be surrounded by the familiar stone walls again. The scouts they had posted in the high towers would notice an ambush from miles away, and they had spent years fortifying the castle from any potential attack. In a way this was home to Levi. He felt safe here, and more relaxed at having Eren protected by the walls as well.

 

Levi spent his time untacking his horse, showing Eren the basics even though he knew Eren wouldn’t remember everything the first time. He was pleased to see Eren listening intently anyway; whether Eren was genuinely interested or if he was just trying to keep his mind occupied Levi didn’t mind. Eventually though the sun hung low in the sky and Levi took Eren inside to give him a tour of all the rooms he would immediately need to know: the seamstress’s room where Eren could go if he needed clothes patched up or made, the infirmary if he was hurt or sick, the dining hall, and then upstairs to Levi’s room.

 

Levi’s room was one of the larger ones in the castle. There was a sitting room with couches and a long table for meetings, planning and reading, and then an attached bedroom and bathroom for his own personal use. He only had one bed but it was large, and Levi doubted they would have any issue about room even though Eren still refused to sleep without Levi beside him. Levi pulled open the two bottom drawers of his dresser and told Eren they were his to use, and that he should work on putting his clothes away. Eren looked like he was going to argue, his eyes always drifting back to the courtyard that was visible from the window, but then he knelt down and got to work.

 

There was a note on Levi’s table waiting for him and he picked it up to read while moving around the room to light the lanterns. It was a note from Erwin asking Levi to come see him, which Levi shoved into his pocket. He would try to visit Erwin that evening but if time wouldn’t allow then he would go first thing the following morning.

 

Levi worked on unpacking his travel bag and setting aside what he would need to take to the laundry the next day. Then he sat on the couch and read his book until Eren re-appeared, smiling widely. “Finished!”

 

Levi closed his book and ruffled Eren’s hair. “Ready for food, then?”

 

Eren nodded and held out a hand, which Levi took without thought; this was already becoming habit. They made their way down to the dining room, Levi letting Eren lead as the boy tried to remember the tour he had been given. Levi had to give him a nudge once or twice but finally they made it and stepped into the dining hall. About half of the tables were already full of people, food set aside from the kitchen for people to take.

 

Levi considered introducing Eren to the group but he could feel the way Eren was holding his hand tighter, nervous. Instead Levi led Eren over to grab food for both of them and then headed towards the table in the back where he saw Petra and the others. There were a few other higher ranking members seated at the table and they all introduced themselves, and as dinner wore on Eren actually started to join in on a few of the conversations. He would look to Levi occasionally, who would give reassuring nods, but for the most part Eren’s confidence was beginning to build.

 

After dinner Petra, Erd, Gunter and Auruo were planning to play a card game and invited Levi and Eren to join. Levi wasn’t much for card games but Eren looked excited and Levi didn’t have any pressing work waiting for him so they both remained at the table. Even though Levi didn’t play often he knew enough to teach Eren how to play. He sat close to Eren and watched the boy’s hand, occasionally pointing at a card to suggest he play it and hiding his smirk whenever everyone else groaned as Eren won a turn.

 

Finally the hour grew late and Eren was yawning so frequently he could barely play. Levi suggested they head to bed but Eren refused, stubbornly suggesting that Levi should play for him. A few more rounds passed with Levi playing, Eren taking a turn watching Levi’s hand, until at last Eren leaned against Levi and closed his eyes. Taking that as a sign, Levi set his cards on the table and said goodnight while pulling Eren into his arms to carry him back up to bed.

 

Eren was silent in his arms until they were back in Levi’s rooms and the door was locked. Then he spoke quietly. “Levi?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

Eren’s arms clung to Levi a bit tighter. “Are you going to leave now?”

 

Levi could tell that this was a moment where Eren wasn’t going to let go, so instead of trying to deposit Eren on the bed Levi sat on the couch with Eren still in his arms. “What do you mean?”

 

“We’re here and everything’s different,” Eren looked up at him sadly. “You’re going to be too busy for me.”

 

Levi sighed, not knowing what to say. “It’s true, I am going to be busy,” he told Eren honestly. “And at some point, trust me, you’re not going to want me around all the time.” Eren gave an unhappy face and Levi continued on. “But until then you can stick close to me.”

 

“Promise?”

 

“Yeah,” Levi rubbed Eren’s back. “Promise.”

 

“Okay,” Eren nodded and then climbed out of Levi’s arms. “Bedtime then.” Not bothering to argue when he knew sleep would do them both good, Levi sent Eren off to the bathroom to get ready first while tidying the room. Eren was already curled up in bed watching the door for him when Levi joined him after blowing out the lanterns. Eren shuffled over to make room for him and then rolled over to face Levi as he settled under the blankets. “Don’t get sick of me, okay?”

 

Levi raised his eyebrows in surprise. Although before all of this had started Levi thought he would never be able to take care of a kid or even have the patience to try, he was already finding himself growing attached to Eren. “That won’t happen,” he said with certainty, which seemed to be enough to calm Eren and soothe him to sleep. Levi lay awake for a while longer, letting his thoughts drift as he stared at the darkened ceiling.

 

#

 

It was early morning and the dawn light outside was still weak, the air misty as fog blanketed the surrounding fields. Levi woke up feeling well-rested and although he wanted to just stay under the warm sheets, he knew he had to go visit Erwin. Levi knew that if he waited for Eren to wake up then Eren would want to join him, which normally Levi wouldn’t mind. But in this case there were a few things he and Erwin needed to discuss without listening ears.

 

Levi slid out of bed quietly to avoid waking Eren and changed into a loose pair of pants and a shirt he wouldn’t mind being seen in even though he doubted anyone else would be awake at this time. Then he headed down the hallway and around the corner to where Erwin’s rooms were located. He tried the doorknob and found it unlocked and Levi closed the door quietly behind him and locked it.

 

He passed through the sitting room and the office and entered the bedroom without knocking. In the dim lighting Levi could see Erwin lift his head to look over and smile as he saw Levi in the doorway. “You didn’t come to see me last night after you got back,” Erwin said, voice rough from sleep.

 

“I was busy, as I’m sure you’ve heard by now,” Levi pointed out, approaching the bed. “I couldn’t leave the kid alone.”

 

Erwin stretched lazily, the blankets sliding down to reveal his bare chest. “Lucky boy. Should I be jealous?”

 

“Gross, Erwin. He’s eight,” Levi snapped. “He just has nightmares.”

 

Erwin’s smile remained soft. “You know I’m teasing.” He lifted a welcoming hand. “Come lie with me. It’s been too long.” Levi stripped off his clothes without ceremony and joined Erwin under the sheets, letting his eyes wander as Erwin pulled off his own pants and dropped them over the edge of the mattress. “It is good to see you back safe, my friend,” Erwin murmured as he moved above Levi and kissed his temple affectionately.

 

“Speaking of safe, have you not learned how to lock your door yet?” Levi said as he watched Erwin reached for the jar of lube in the bedside drawer.

 

“Don’t tell me you’re worried about me,” Erwin teased as he slicked two fingers and moved his hand between Levi’s legs.

 

Levi grunted as he felt the first finger slide in; it really had been a while. Erwin was unhurried though, his touches always gentle even though he knew Levi sometimes liked it rough. In this moment Levi was glad for the time to adjust as Erwin rubbed his finger against Levi’s inner walls. “If you get yourself killed then I have to take over, and you promised me I’d never have to do that.”

 

“And I intend to keep that promise.” Levi forced himself to breathe deeply as Erwin’s second finger pushed in. “Think about what I’ve taught you, Rivaille. Instilling false confidence in your enemy is one of the best advantages you can possess.”

 

“It still wouldn’t kill you to lock the door,” Levi grumbled.

 

“Then I would miss the joys of you slipping into my bed,” Erwin smirked. Levi was halfway to biting back a retort when Erwin spread his fingers widely, drawing a gasp from Levi’s lips as his cock swelled. Levi wasn’t normally submissive; in fact, Erwin was the only one allowed to top him. Levi liked being in control of his partner’s pleasure, and yet there was something about Erwin’s dominance that was unquestionable and made Levi want to lie back and take it.

 

They had been sharing this for a few years, and had been friends for longer. Although there was trust and affection between them Levi would never consider himself in love with Erwin, and knew that Erwin felt the same. It just felt good to share this pleasure and release with his closest friend, and to know that they both understood each other so well.

 

When Erwin pressed in it was a warm familiarity. Immediately Levi knew how to bend his knees to open himself up, how to scrape his nails along Erwin’s back in the way he knew made the larger man shudder and thrust the way Levi liked it best. Levi relished in the warm arms around him, holding him tight against Erwin’s chest as they began to rock together, the bed echoing their movements. Each thrust was smooth but claiming and Levi resigned himself to a day of soreness after this coupling.

 

They had agreed a long time ago that visible marks were not allowed, but that didn’t stop Levi from scoring Erwin’s back and arms, or from digging his nails into the sweaty skin of Erwin’s hips as he tried to drag the man deeper into his body. Erwin moaned loudly and sucked a light mark on Levi’s collarbone, one that would fade by the time Levi was redressing. “ _C’mon, c’mon_ ,” Levi groaned, clenching his teeth because his release was _right there_ , he could feel his body coiling with heat and he wanted it so badly – “ _Fuck_.”

 

Erwin gave him a pleased smirk as Levi threw his head back and came across his own stomach. Not that Erwin’s smug attitude lasted long when Levi clenched tightly around him as he rode his orgasm. It only took a few more desperate thrusts as the bed squeaked its protest before Erwin was moaning Levi’s name against his neck and burying his seed deep inside Levi’s body.

 

When they were both spent Erwin withdrew and stood from the bed. Levi remained sprawled where he had come to rest and only grunted tiredly when Erwin returned with a warm cloth to clean Levi’s stomach and then between his legs. After that was done Erwin lay down on the mattress and wrapped an arm loosely around Levi’s middle, keeping him close. They lay side by side panting for a few minutes before Levi rubbed at his face to wake himself up. “I should go. I don’t want Eren waking up without me there.”

 

“Already?” Erwin watched him, looking a little concerned. “Stay for a few minutes and talk to me, Levi. It’s clear you’re trying to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders.”

 

Levi sighed and lay back against the pillows, closing his eyes. “I never planned to have kids, Erwin. Now I have an eight year old boy depending on me to take care of him and teach him as he grows up. Not to mention that I’m the reason he doesn’t have a family in the first place.”

 

Erwin traced circles on Levi’s stomach absent-mindedly. “Did you take your blade to his mother’s throat?”

 

“Of course not,” Levi glared.

 

“Then it is not your fault. You cannot carry that sort of burden on top of the ones you are already shouldering,” Erwin said.

 

“How can I not?” Levi stared at the ceiling. “If we hadn’t been fighting in the Shiganshina District then a lot more people would be alive today, including his mother.”

 

Erwin leaned on his elbow, meeting Levi’s gaze. “And you think it was better when the whole district was starving because the Military Police have been cutting off supplies meant for the outer territories?”

 

Levi met his gaze sharply. “At least she was alive to take care of him, instead of Eren being stuck with someone like me who doesn’t have a fucking clue what I’m doing.”

 

“No one knows what they’re doing when it comes to children,” Erwin said. “Everyone just does their best. But from the rumours I’ve heard the boy seems quite attached to you.”

 

Levi barked a humourless laugh. “Yeah, until he realizes how shitty I am at all this. He’s attached to me only because he has no one else.”

 

“And you’re underestimating how much it means to him that you’re there for him, even though you’re clearly out of your depth. You’re trying, and he sees that. And you know that if you ever need help we’ll all be here,” Erwin offered. Not that Erwin had kids either, but Levi knew Erwin’s sister had kids in the middle territories.

 

Levi lay silently for a few minutes, letting his thoughts swirl around. Erwin didn’t push him to continue speaking, which was one of the reasons Levi valued their friendship so much. Erwin knew when Levi needed a push and when he needed time and silence. Finally Levi looked across the bed to Erwin and asked his question. “Why were we in that district, Erwin?”

 

"You knew about the food shortages as well as I did," Erwin raised an eyebrow.

 

"Yes, but what were we trying to achieve by going there? We knew the Military Police would fight us," Levi made sure to hold Erwin's gaze and keep the Commander from looking away. "I know you see further ahead than I do. I want you to tell me that we were there for a purpose."

 

Erwin sighed and hooked a hand around Levi's narrow hip to pull him closer, which Levi allowed even though he tensed at the contact. "There was a collection of books that was hidden in the basement of one of the houses in the district. All very valuable. Some hold information about new inventions, others have details about the inner workings of the Military Police and the politics of the inner territories, and a few even talk about what lies beyond the outer wall."

 

Levi's eyebrows furrowed. "We know what lies beyond the wall. Bandits and forests."

 

"But for how far, Levi?" Erwin leaned closer, eager now. "We haven't ventured far but imagine what is out there waiting for us. New resources for us to use, more potential allies. Someday we might even be able to settle beyond the wall."

 

Levi shook his head, keeping himself focused. "But half the district is burned down by now. Did we lose everything?"

 

"No," Erwin admitted. "We found out about it by listening in on the Military Police. They had plans to go collect everything discreetly so the citizens weren't suspicious and we went and got it all first. We got the last few books out of the city last week, a few days before the fight."

 

"We were there just to cover up the fact that the books had already been moved," Levi surmised. "You wanted the Military Police to believe we were there trying to get the books and failed, and that everything went up in flames so no one could get them." He gritted his teeth. "A district crumbled to cover us."

 

"The Military Police would become a lot more aggressive if they knew we had the books," Erwin reasoned. _A false confidence_ , as Erwin often taught. "And we both know we don't have enough forces to fight off the Military Police if they put on a full attack. The only reason they haven't yet is because they think we're starving somewhere out in the wilderness and fumbling around."

 

"I understand," Levi told him. "But it doesn't make it easier."

 

"I know." There was an apology in Erwin's voice but he didn't voice it, because he had done what he had to, and what no one else was willing to do.

 

Needing some space, Levi got out of bed and began to pull his clothes back on. "I'm going to head back. Eren will be waking up soon."

 

"Do I get to meet him sometime?"

 

"You're the Commander," Levi didn't look back at Erwin as he buttoned up his shirt and headed for the door. "You can do whatever you want."

 

Erwin didn't call him back and Levi returned to his own room quickly. Eren was still in bed when Levi arrived, though he stirred when Levi snuck under the covers. "Levi...?" Eren yawned and blinked at him tiredly.

 

"I'm here," Levi's voice was hushed.

 

Eren shuffled closer but a moment later he crinkled his nose. "You smell different. I don't like it."

 

"Sorry," Levi smiled with amusement. "But try to get some more sleep if you can."

 

Eren nodded and stayed close but rolled over onto his other side to face away from Levi and avoid what must be Erwin's smell clinging to his skin. Levi knew he wouldn't be able to sleep again that morning but he took advantage of the extra hour Eren slept to rest his body, his ass still aching slightly. While he lay there Levi made lists of the tasks he would need to complete now that he was back, and what he would need to begin teaching Eren once he settled in to life at the castle.


	3. Chapter 3

"So this is the adorable kid I've been hearing so much about!" Hanji shouted excitedly when zhe spotted Levi and Eren across the courtyard. It took mere seconds for Hanji to sprint across the distance between them, zher grin growing wider.

 

Levi felt Eren startle in surprise beside him and heard the boy mutter under his breath, "I'm not adorable."

 

Hiding his amusement, Levi looked from Hanji to Eren and back. "Eren, this is Major Hanji Zoe, head of research with the Survey Corps."

 

"Don't you dare call me 'Major'," Hanji pointed a finger at Eren and then ruffled Eren's hair until it was standing up on end. "I just want you to call me Hanji, okay? You get special privileges."

 

Eren tried in vain to brush his hair down flat. "Special privileges?"

 

"Rank is pretty important to uphold around here," Hanji explained. "We need to remain professional so that soldiers know they can trust their higher-ups when it comes to life-threatening situations. That's why everyone calls this guy 'Captain'," zhe nudged Levi, who was prepared for the shove and had braced himself so he wouldn't stumble at zher energetic movements. "And why you'll hear all the soldiers calling me Major, or Squad Leader. But I like you, so I'm ordering you to call me 'Hanji' only, got it?"

 

Eren nodded, looking halfway between confused and amused. Then Eren asked a question Levi wasn't expecting. "Do you get to call Levi by his first name too?"

 

Hanji's gaze flickered to Levi and back, zher smile smug. "Nope, that honour just rests with you, kid. Well, you and the Commander."

 

"Who's that?" Eren asked, his smile falling as quickly as it had arrived.

 

"That would be me," Erwin stepped up from behind Levi and rested a hand on his shoulder. "My name is Erwin Smith and I am the Commander of the Survey Corps. It's a pleasure to meet you, Eren."

 

Eren was staring at them – specifically, Erwin's hand on Levi's shoulder – until Erwin knelt down and offered a hand. Eren shook it but said nothing in return and somehow looked even more upset than he had a moment ago. When the handshake ended Eren walked past Erwin to stand right in front of Levi as he reached up. Confused, Levi pulled Eren up into his arms. "Eren, it would be polite of you to say hello back. Don't you want to say anything?"

 

Eren hid his face against Levi's neck. "No."

 

Troubled now, Levi sent an apologetic look to Erwin and Hanji who both waved him off. Levi walked in the opposite direction towards the castle outer wall and set Eren on his feet. Eren was purposefully avoiding Levi's eyes so Levi knelt down and gently caught Eren's chin. "What's going on, Eren?"

 

Levi was wondering if Eren had connected the fact that Erwin was the Commander of the Survey Corps to the truth that it had been Erwin to order the battle in Eren's district. He wasn't sure if Eren had thought that far ahead about it but it was possible, which was why Levi was so surprised when Eren finally answered him. "You smelled like him."

 

"What do you mean?"

 

Eren scuffed the toe of his shoe against the ground, fighting to turn his face away again. Levi was even more confused when he saw anger in those green eyes. "This morning you smelled weird and you smell like him. You left to see him and you promised not to leave!"

 

Feeling properly chastised, Levi dropped his hand. Again he believed that anyone would be better at this than him. But Eren was his responsibility and he was going to do his best. "Remember what we talked about last night?" he asked Eren. "I'm going to be busy now that we're back at HQ. I had to catch up with the Commander after some time away. But just because I may be busy for a little while doesn't mean I've left you, or that I'm not coming back."

 

Eren crossed his arms. "It's not fair."

 

"Things rarely are," Levi said, watching sadly as Eren swiped away a few stray tears. Then an idea came to him, one that he hoped would help since Eren's main problem seemed to be jealousy. "You know, Erwin actually told me this morning that he's jealous of _you_."

 

Eren perked up a bit at that, glancing back at Levi. "Really?"

 

Levi nodded. "Since you're my number one now and you get all my attention." All at once Levi had an armful of Eren, the boy hugging him with such force that Levi nearly toppled backwards. He steadied himself and hugged Eren back while breathing a silent sigh of relief. "How about we try that introduction again?" he suggested after a minute. Although he knew Erwin understood, Levi would really rather have Eren and Erwin get along.

 

Eren stepped back and sighed dramatically, but nodded. "I suppose. For you." Then he held out a hand for Levi to take. Eren wasn't demanding to be carried as much anymore but anytime they were outside of Levi's rooms or the dining room, Eren always seemed happier and more secure when he was holding Levi's hand.

 

They walked back to Erwin and Hanji who were still standing in the same place in the courtyard, discussing something quietly. When they got close enough Eren took a step in front of Levi, still holding his hand as he held out his other one towards Erwin. "Nice to meet you," Eren said a little dully, but it could've been worse.

 

Smoothly Erwin bent a knee and shook Eren's hand. "Glad to have you with us, Eren. And I'm sorry for your loss."

 

Levi winced and saw Hanji do the same. He saw Eren swallow thickly and look away and Levi didn't know what to expect. But then Eren took a shuddering breath and continued to shake Erwin's hand. "Thank you, sir," Eren said tightly.

 

The handshake broke and this time it was Levi who initiated as he pulled Eren up into his arms again. He could feel the boy trembling, though Eren gave no other indication of his raw heartbreak as Erwin bid them farewell and headed inside. Only then did Eren rest his head against Levi's shoulder and exhale sadly. "I'm so proud of you," Levi told Eren, genuinely impressed. "You're so strong."

 

"Very brave," Hanji agreed, deciding to initiate a group hug. It was a bizarre moment, one Levi was unaccustomed to, but it calmed Eren down and that was all Levi needed. "I have an idea!" Hanji exclaimed after, shifting zher weight excitedly. "Eren, would you like to see all the experiments I'm running in my office in the basement?" Hanji offered. "Most people aren't brave enough to come and see, our lovely Captain included, but I bet you're fearless."

 

"Yeah!" Eren grinned, squirming until Levi set him back down on the ground. Levi caught Hanji smirking behind zher hand, curse zher. Zhe had been trying to get Levi to come down to zher lab for months but experiments really weren't Levi's favourite thing. He preferred to be active, honing his skills and training any new recruits that were brought in. It looked like zhe had finally found a way to get Levi down there. Immediately Eren grabbed Levi's hand and tugged him forward. "Don't worry, Captain Levi. I'll protect you!"

 

Levi let himself be dragged along behind Eren who was following Hanji back into the castle. He could practically feel his heart melting in his chest and he wondered idly what exactly this kid was doing to him.

 

#

 

A new batch of recruits had arrived and Levi was overseeing their initial hand-to-hand combat training. Normally Levi only worked with recruits once they had been with the Survey Corps for a few months; he taught the advanced moves of hand-to-hand and sword combat as well as more complex Gear manoeuvring to those who showed themselves able. However, a few of the normal trainers were in the process of holding meetings in each city to try to rally more interest in people joining the Survey Corps.

 

Recruits were often brought in to the Survey Corps when they were fourteen or older. A few rare cases joined earlier and were allowed to train from the beginning but they were not allowed to become initiates until their fourteenth birthday. The faces Levi looked over as he stood at the front of the group in the courtyard were young, though their eyes were aged. They had seen a lot of fighting and strife in their youth and they had decided that they agreed with the Survey Corps’ beliefs more than those of the Military Police.

 

Levi could also tell by the way many of them held themselves that they were cocky. A few street fights, maybe even some skills with a blade; this group thought basic training was below all of them. Levi would be certain to make them realize otherwise. He always believed that it was important to start with the basics. The human body was their base weapon and vulnerability, and everyone had to know how to handle themselves before learning the extension of a weapon such as a sword.

 

He watched them all going through the stretches Petra had ordered them to go through to avoid straining a muscle and hurting themselves. Eren stood at his side, their fingers clasped loosely together. During the last week at HQ Eren had become noticeably more comfortable with the castle and those residing in it, but he was still insistent on holding Levi’s hand and trailing along behind him. Levi didn’t really mind, though he did notice a few recruits glancing at them and laughing behind their hands. Levi didn’t react and simply continued to watch.

 

“Are you going to teach them to fight?” Eren wondered.

 

“I’m going to try,” Levi said, and held back his smile when Eren chuckled. Levi saw Eren looking up at him and Levi looked down, meeting his gaze. Eren continued to stare at him for a moment and then slowly slid his hand from Levi’s grasp. Levi couldn’t properly explain the worrying clench of his heart at that action. “Are you okay?”

 

“Yeah,” Eren nodded and smiled. “I just remember what you and Hanji said. You need to act a certain way in front of others but that doesn't mean you're leaving me."

 

Levi rested a hand on Eren's shoulder, at a loss for words. Deciding that nothing needed to be said, Levi squeezed Eren's shoulder lightly and then returned his hands to his side. He continued to watch the new group of sixteen kids finish their stretches, and noticed out of the corner of his eye that Eren was standing tall beside him, imitating Levi's posture anytime he shifted his weight. Once Levi even crossed his arms curiously, and struggled not to smile when Eren copied him.

 

When he felt the new recruits were ready Levi stepped forward. Although Levi was normally quiet and preferred to observe rather than speak unnecessarily, Levi was also someone who domineered when he wanted to hold someone's attention, respect or fear. He didn't introduce himself; everyone already knew of him. Instead Levi merely called for a volunteer from the group and demonstrated the stance and the first basic moves he wanted them to practice.

 

"Pick a partner to practice with but don't get comfortable," he told the group when he sent the volunteer back. "Learning to beat only one person isn't a skill because everyone fights differently."

 

"Don't you think these stances and moves are a bit basic, _sir_?"

 

Levi's eyes zeroed in on the boy who had spoken immediately. He was at the front of the group, towering over his companions on either side. The kid was easily half a foot taller than Levi and his smirk made it clear that he thought it offered some superiority. "You are welcome to give up at any time," Levi said and then glanced over the group again. "Why aren't you practicing yet?"

 

Everyone else stumbled in their haste to pair up at Levi's order. The tall boy lingered for a moment, leering at Levi before being dragged away by another new recruit who must've known him prior to joining. Levi remained where he was, his eyes sharp as he observed each pair. He made note of who was doing well and who was struggling, and with what, but he didn't approach anyone. Levi would help anyone who asked for it but had the patience to wait until the cocky recruits learned their lesson.

 

A hand clutched at the hem of his shirt. "I don't like him," Eren hissed, eyes on the tall boy instead of Levi. "Why aren't you angry?"

 

"He's not worth the energy to be angry," Levi explained quietly. "If he's as good as he thinks he is then he'll be a valuable soldier and I don't care. If he's not, he'll lead himself to the shame needed to teach him a lesson."

 

"Is he as good as he thinks he is?"

 

Levi knelt down so he was at eye level with Eren. "Watch his feet," Levi told Eren. "And tell me what you see."

 

Eren's sharp green eyes watched. "They're not moving much. Not as much as the others. Is that bad?"

 

"Depends on the type of fighting he's doing," Levi said. "His stance tells me that he's been in a lot of street fights. You need a strong stance like that when you're fighting someone physically stronger than you. It helps you brace against their weight. Widen your stance," he said and Eren did. Levi pushed some weight against him and Eren braced and stood his ground. "Like that," Levi praised.

 

"So he's good?" Eren didn't sound pleased.

 

"In the streets he would be a good fighter, but the Survey Corps use Manoeuvre Gear. The majority of the Military Police's defences involve canons, which are powerful but slow to move. That means that the faster you can get out of the way, the more likely you are to survive," Levi continued his lecture. "You need to be light on your feet and he's not. He has a long way to go and his attitude will hold him back."

 

He was distracted when he saw a pair raising their hand near the edge of the group. "Captain? We have a question."

 

"How can you need help with something so _easy_?" the tall recruit snickered loudly.

 

Levi was already halfway towards the original pair, who looked incredibly embarrassed now, when Levi shifted his direction to stand directly in front of the tall boy. "What's your name?"

 

"Jake Manning, _sir_ ," Jake stated loudly, still smirking.

 

"Jake," Levi spoke just loudly enough for the whole group to hear. "If these drills are so easy then why do you seem so scared to lift your feet?"

 

Jake's face was turning red. "This is how I fight."

 

"So you admit that you're not completing these _simple_ moves either," Levi's eyes flashed. "The only one you're embarrassing is yourself."

 

He didn't bother waiting for a response or to say anything else. Levi made his way through the group towards the original pair who had asked for help and spent a few minutes demonstrating the moves again. When that was finished he made his way through the rest of the group to see if anyone else had a question and then returned to standing beside Eren, who was glaring daggers at Jake across the courtyard.

 

"Ignore him," Levi said. "Learn by watching the others." Eren grumbled under his breath but did as he was told.

 

For the next two hours Levi took the group of recruits through all of the basic moves he wanted them to master before continuing on. They were in the middle of the courtyard in the burning sun, which was half the point. Levi would not let them assume this would be an easy process. They would need to work hard to train and earn a position among the Survey Corps ranks, and that included gruelling training in the unforgiving sun.

 

Finally Levi called an end to training. They would have an hour off for lunch and then Gunter was going to take them out in the afternoon to determine the recruits' skills on horseback. Even after ending training Levi remained standing where he was as a few recruits hesitantly approached him to ask more questions. Once everyone seemed satisfied Levi looked at Eren. "Lunch?"

 

Eren nodded and clasped Levi's hand. He was about to head into the castle when Jake's voice carried across the courtyard. "Didn't know you were soft enough to be whipped by a kid, _Levi_. Is this all just an act?"

 

Levi focused on exhaling slowly. Then he turned on his heel and stared darkly at Jake who, despite his previous insolence, noticeably shrunk back under his gaze. "S-sorry, Captain," he added hastily, realizing too late that he had pushed too far.

 

At this point Levi couldn't walk away. It wasn't about his personal pride; it was about ensuring that the new recruits knew without a doubt that Levi was someone they could turn to in battle. That he could care for a child in his guardianship and still possess the skills to flatten anyone who opposed him. Levi gave Eren's hand a tiny squeeze and then slid his hand away as he walked towards Jake.

 

"If you think I'm acting then try to hit me," Levi's voice was deadly.

 

"N-no, I believe you," Jake watched him nervously as Levi stood in front of him. Perhaps realizing that Levi wasn't going to walk away now, Jake shifted his weight from one foot to the other.

 

The attack came suddenly, Jake swinging a fist at Levi with all of his height and weight behind him. Levi wasn't planning to attempt matching Jake's strengths though. Instead Levi easily leaned to the side, Jake's fist nowhere close to making contact. At the same time Levi swung his leg out and knocked Jake's feet from beneath him, sending Jake to the ground with a _thud_ and a dull groan. Maintaining his momentum, Levi resettled his weight and stood above Jake with the rest of the recruits staring openly.

 

Jake's face was a dark red, shame etched into every line of his posture. Levi left him lying there for a long moment, the courtyard silent. And when Levi was certain that his point had been made, he held out a hand in offering. Jake looked at him in confusion for a moment and then took the offered hand, Levi easily pulling him to his feet. "We all rely on each other to survive," Levi said for everyone to hear. "I don't doubt that you'll learn to fight. What you need to learn is how to be part of a team."

 

Levi let his eyes sweep the group one last time and then walked back towards Eren, who grasped his hand easily as they walked into the castle together. Eren was silent for the entire walk to the dining room and as they grabbed food. It was only when they sat down at their usual table in the corner, Levi and Eren the only two currently sitting there, that Eren spoke up. "Levi, are we bad guys?"

 

"What makes you ask that?" Levi asked in return as he bit off a chunk of his bread roll.

 

"We're training to fight people," Eren reasoned. "People aren't monsters."

 

"Some can be," Levi refuted quietly. "And the answer to your question depends on who you ask."

 

"I don't understand," Eren confessed, looking to Levi for answers.

 

Levi tried to figure out how much to tell Eren to help him understand without overwhelming him with information. “How much history have you heard about the different factions of soldiers?”

 

“Not much,” Eren said. “My mom thought it was safer if we just stayed out of it all.”

 

“Alright. Well originally there were three factions of soldiers. The Military Police guarded the Crown and the inner cities; the Garrison protected the middle cities; and the Survey Corps guarded the outer territories, watched over the four sealed gates built into the outer wall, and held out any threats from beyond the outer wall.” Eren nodded, already knowing this or at least understanding. “But then the Military Police became corrupt. They liked the easy life of the inner walls and when there was a food shortage a decade ago they made sure that they always had extra food, while the outer territories starved.”

 

Eren was barely nibbling on his dinner, instead focused intently on Levi’s words. “Things are still unequal to this day. The Survey Corps began to fight back, trying to expose the corruption and gain equality for the other territories again. They didn’t want to see the people they were trying to protect starve just because those in the inner cities were greedy. Some soldiers of the Garrison sided with the Survey Corps and others with the Military Police and the group eventually disbanded, members joining whichever group they agreed with.”

 

“So we’re the good guys,” Eren suggested hesitantly.

 

Levi shrugged, pausing to take another bite of food. “I’d like to think so but again, it depends who you ask. We think we’re fighting for equality so that supplies and liberties are shared. But the Military Police and those enjoying the cushioned life of the inner cities think we’re just ungrateful and trying to stir up trouble.”

 

Eren looked troubled and they ate in silence for a few minutes. After a while Eren looked over at Levi. “Will you teach me to fight like you?”

 

“Why do you want to learn to fight?” Levi wondered. He had already been planning on teaching Eren the basics at some point, but he was curious about Eren’s motivations.

 

Eren frowned in thought. “I want to be able to protect what I care about.” His green eyes didn’t waver from Levi’s face.

 

“That’s a good reason to fight.”Levi nodded, pleased. “I’ll teach you.”


	4. Chapter 4

As the weeks turned into months they developed a routine. Despite Levi’s offer to get Eren his own room and bed, Eren insisted on staying with Levi and curling up under the same blankets. However, Eren did end up becoming more independent, willing to spend some time away from Levi while they both completed other tasks. Nonetheless they would get breakfast together in the mornings and then head down to the courtyard. The normal trainers were back to lead the first few months of hand-to-hand combat and defence training but Levi hovered occasionally, watching everyone practice and making small corrections when necessary. Jake never said anything against him or Eren again and training ran smoothly.

 

Levi also had Eren join the training, although he pulled Eren aside whenever it was time to pair up and practice. It hadn’t taken long for Levi to become vehemently protective of his new ward and even though he doubted anyone would intentionally attempt to hurt Eren, Levi didn’t trust the older trainees not to accidentally push too hard. So Levi would let Eren watch the same instructions and then Levi and Eren would practice on the sidelines beside the others between Levi’s pacing to help the other recruits.

 

Eren would also join the afternoon training with the rest of the recruits when it came to horseback riding, tracking, and survival skills such as hunting and gathering and shelter building. On the days when the recruits worked on sword wielding or were introduced to 3D Manoeuvre Gear Eren would spend time with Hanji helping with zher experiments and Levi would head up to Erwin’s rooms to discuss maps and plans and occasionally get tangled in the bed sheets.

 

Dinner was usually eaten together with Levi and Eren joining the other higher ranking members at their table in the corner, and once in a while they would get roped into a game of cards. The evenings were dedicated to study and practice, Levi and Eren returning to their rooms. They would take turns between more intellectual skills such as reading, writing, map reading and lock picking, and the more physical skills where Levi had Eren practice what he had learned from training that morning.

 

Levi was impressed by Eren’s speedy improvement of his fighting and defence and they quickly began to advance their lessons beyond the recruits. Levi always remained careful, even when they began to spar to let Eren practice fighting and defending himself beyond the basic drills. Eren began to demand that he get to learn sword fighting and Manoeuvre Gear with the others as well but Levi had already decided that he wanted Eren a little older before giving him access to items that could get him killed. Blades were never a good idea and the Gear could get a bone snapped surprisingly quickly if someone didn’t have the skill or strength to hold themselves properly. And with Eren as young as he was, Levi was too nervous to give in. Eren sulked each time Levi refused but always seemed to forgive Levi in the end.

 

Eren’s intellectual skills left a little to be desired; he never enjoyed sitting down with a book to read, and complained constantly about not knowing what to write when Levi told him to practice. However, Levi realized one night that while Eren didn’t enjoy reading _himself_ , he thoroughly enjoyed listening to Levi read. This began a new tradition where, late in the evening when they were both too tired to do anything else, Levi would sit on the couch with Eren curled up beside him, listening as Levi read a chapter of whatever book he managed to find.

 

Levi would be lying if he said he didn’t enjoy the routine with Eren, or the boy’s company. His fears became moot when he and Eren formed an immediate bond; Levi never pretended to act as Eren’s father or even brother, but he would definitely consider them friends and confidantes. Eren trusted him and looked up to him and, for the most part, was willing to listen when Levi made a decision or told him to do something.

 

There were still times when Levi felt overwhelmed but the other Survey Corps members had also unofficially adopted Eren and together they all offered a new pseudo family. Eren’s tears slowed and finally stopped appearing for the most part as Eren got caught up in training, exploring the castle, and helping Hanji. The only thing Levi regretted was that Eren didn’t have anyone his age to play with; even the youngest new recruit was nearly seven years older than Eren. Levi had tried to bring up the topic of friends from Eren’s district once or twice but saw how sad Eren got and quickly dropped it each time.

 

Unfortunately the relaxed routine could not last forever and Erwin told Levi that he had to lead a stealth mission in one of the western districts in the middle territories. There had been hushed talk of the high ranking Military Police having a meeting coming up, and Erwin wanted to know everything they said. Between the travel time there and back as well as the mission time Levi estimated that he would be gone for about a week, and although he had left for longer many times in the past, when Erwin told him about this mission Levi could only think about Eren.

 

“Hanji will be here to watch over Eren,” Erwin reasoned, knowing Levi well enough to notice the look of uncertainty on his face.

 

“Yeah.”

 

Erwin studied Levi’s face across the table. “This is the safest place for him. It’s you we’ll be concerned about.”

 

“I’ll be fine,” Levi said gruffly, standing from his chair.

 

“You always say that,” Erwin smiled sadly.

 

“And I always am fine,” Levi pointed out, though he stepped closer when Erwin held out a hand.

 

Erwin touched Levi’s hip and slipped his thumb beneath Levi’s shirt, massaging bare skin. “Just be careful, alright?”

 

“You know I will be.” Levi touched Erwin’s hand for a long moment and then pulled away, heading for the door. “I’ll brief the others tonight and we’ll ride out shortly after dawn.”

 

Levi bypassed his own bedroom where he knew Eren was and instead made his way back down to the dining room where Petra, Gunter, Erd and Auruo were still playing cards and chatting. There were still a few other people in the dining room so Levi took his own hand of cards to cover as he explained the mission to his team quietly. They asked a few questions and nodded when everything was finally decided.

 

Levi finished two more hands of cards before finally setting them down and heading upstairs, knowing he couldn’t avoid Eren any longer. Eren was curled up in a blanket on the couch, the untouched storybook sitting forlornly beside him. "You could've gone to bed," Levi reminded him, brushing Eren's hair as he sat down beside the boy. Eren shook his head stubbornly and Levi sighed. "I need to tell you something."

 

"What?" There was fear in Eren's small voice.

 

"I'm going to be gone for about a week. We leave at dawn tomorrow," Levi said, knowing there was no point in trying to sugar-coat it. "I'm leading a mission in the middle territories."

 

Eren stared at the floor. "Can I come?"

 

"No. I want you to stay here and be safe." Levi tried to not be too hurt when Eren shrugged off the hand Levi tried to rest on his shoulder.

 

He noticed immediately that Eren was trembling. "You're not allowed to leave!"

 

"Eren, I'll be coming back—"

 

"No! _I hate you_! Get out!" Eren stood in a rush, his face red and his cheeks wet with tears. "If you want to leave so badly then _go_!"

 

"Eren—" Levi began, his face stony to hide his surprised hurt.

 

"I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!" Eren kept trying to hit Levi until he finally backed out of the room into the hallway. “You don’t even care!” Eren accused. Before Levi got a chance to argue the door was slammed closed in his face and Levi heard the lock click shut. " _I hate you_ ," Eren sobbed and then Levi heard feet running away and the further bedroom door slamming closed as well.

 

Levi stared at the door for a long time, to the point where he lost track of the minutes passing. He knocked again and called out to Eren through the door but received no response. Levi was stung by Eren's words. The thought of Eren hating him left an ache in his chest that couldn't be mended. He also felt a frustrating blend of guilt and frustration, because it wasn't that he _wanted_ to leave Eren, but it wasn't fair that he feel horrible for doing his job.

 

Giving up, Levi headed down the hallway and stepped back into Erwin's rooms. By now the lanterns had been blown out except for the one beside the bed, Erwin sitting in bed reading over some notes. Erwin looked up when Levi entered and raised an eyebrow. "I wasn't expecting you back."

 

"I got kicked out of my room," Levi informed him stiffly, peeling away his clothes as he walked towards the bed. He wasn't in the mood for sex and even if he was they wouldn't risk any soreness the night before Levi was heading out on a mission. It just felt like all of the fabric of his clothing was chafing at his skin, aggravating him further. "Eren hates me." Even echoing the words had his heart clenching.

 

Erwin's fingers slipped into Levi's hair to stroke absent-mindedly while Erwin continued to read his notes. "You know kids don't mean it at that age. He's upset but he doesn't hate you."

 

"He sounded pretty certain," Levi closed his eyes.

 

"By the time you get back he'll just be happy you're back and hug you," Erwin assured him. "And you'll also be able to prove to him that you mean it when you say you're coming back." Levi said nothing and Erwin finally set aside his notes and blew out the last candle. In the moonlight Erwin found Levi's forehead and kissed it. "I would also be very glad to have you come back."

 

"I was already planning on it, thanks," Levi grumbled, rolling over onto his side.

 

"Get some sleep," Erwin ordered and then rolled over to sleep on his own side of the bed.

 

Levi clenched his eyes closed and wished for sleep that never came.

 

#

 

As the sky began to lighten Levi pulled himself out of bed and redressed. Erwin stirred but didn't fully waken and Levi didn't bother waking him up before exiting out into the hallway. Luckily he always had a travel bag ready in case he needed to depart HQ in a rush so Levi didn't need to fight with his locked door and instead headed downstairs to get some breakfast. The rest of his squad trickled in shortly after and they all ate together in tense, tired silence.

 

Levi was surprised to see Hanji out in the courtyard when he, Petra, Erd, Gunter and Auruo all headed outside. Levi had been expecting to tack his own horse but Hanji and two of zher squad members had gotten up early to save them the extra trouble. All five horses were prepared and waiting for them as they stepped out.

 

Levi pulled Hanji aside while he and the rest of his squad packed away their supplies in the saddle bags. "Eren didn't take the news well that I'm going to be gone," Levi told zher quietly. "Can you watch over him for me?"

 

"Of course!" zhe patted him hard on the back. "And don't worry! He'll probably be sad today but then I'll keep him so busy he'll forget to miss you."

 

Levi didn't really like that idea either, but it would be easier for him to ignore this horrible guilt and longing to stay when he knew that Hanji was taking care of Eren in Levi's absence. Levi needed to remember that the success of the mission and his squad was depending on him, and that once they rode past the castle walls Levi would need to set aside his thoughts of Eren and focus fully on the task at hand. He was just in the process of trying to work into this mindset when Levi heard a voice shouting his name. " _Levi_!"

 

Levi spun quickly to see Eren racing out of the castle. Their eyes met across the courtyard and Eren hesitated for a moment. Levi realized suddenly that this was the first time Eren had seen Levi in full Survey Corps gear – uniform, cloak, Manoeuvre Gear – since the day Levi had swept him away from his dead mother and burning district. It didn't stall Eren for long though and soon he was running towards Levi again.

 

Levi knelt to meet Eren's hug which nearly knocked Levi backwards with the force. Eren was hugging the breath out of him and Levi hugged Eren back just as tightly, feeling Eren sobbing in his arms. "I don't hate you! Please don't think I hate you!" Eren clung to Levi tightly, uncaring of their audience. "I just really need you to come back."

 

"I'm coming back," Levi promised, his own fingers clutched in Eren's rumpled shirt. He was willing to make that promise because he knew in that moment that he would do everything in his power to return to Eren. "But while I'm away I need you to be brave for me, okay?" Levi brushed away Eren's tears with the pad of his thumb. "I need to know you're okay so I can focus on the mission."

 

Eren nodded, sniffled, and then attempted a weak smile. Hanji approached then and gently pried Eren away. "We'll have lots to keep us busy. You won't even realize the time passing before Captain Levi is back," zhe smiled down at Eren, who nodded again.

 

Levi stood and ruffled Eren's hair and then pulled himself up into the saddle of his horse. The rest of his small squad followed suit. For a moment Levi worried that he had destroyed his image and that they would fear he wasn't suited to lead this mission. But as he met each of their strong gazes he read respect and belief on their faces. They knew he could be trusted. Eren and Hanji waved and Levi gave a small wave back before he pushed his horse into motion, the others following his lead beyond the castle walls.

 

After they passed through the castle gates Auruo spoke up, teasing but also good-natured. “Well aren’t you two precious?”

 

“Go fuck yourself,” Levi said dully and pushed his horse into a canter, his squad following easily.

 

It took until close to noon for them to approach the city. When they knew it was only a short ride left through the trees before they were at the city’s outpost, Levi and the others dismounted and tied up their horses. They had a short lunch so they didn’t risk being spotted in a city restaurant and then turned their cloaks inside out. The green material was common but the Wings of Freedom emblem of the Survey Corps would surely stand out.

 

When they were ready they all got back on their horses and rode towards the city entrance. Levi hovered in the middle of the group to hide his face, being the most recognizable of his squad. Petra was the one who spoke to the guard, Erd on her flank with his swords hidden and ready if needed. They proved unnecessary when the guard let them through after a few basic questions, accustomed to travellers passing through the town.

 

They hitched their horses in the stables of an inn near the edge of town and checked in, splitting two rooms between the five of them. Levi had made sure his squad would arrive two days before the Military Police higher-ups were supposed to arrive, and three days before the meetings were supposed to begin. He knew for certain that when the Military Police arrived they would be keeping track of anyone who followed them into the city.

 

The next two days passed with agonizing slowness. Levi had brought a book to pass the time whenever he didn’t feel like joining in on conversation or card games since none of them would risk getting recognized by leaving the building. What surprised Levi most was how badly he missed Eren. Levi was focused on the mission, on overhearing chatter in the pub downstairs and watching the city streets, but there were still moments where he would just think about Eren and feel a pang in his chest.

 

Levi had been a part of the Survey Corps for a large majority of his life, and although he believed in what they fought for, the routine had grown monotonous. Eren, by comparison, was full of life, excitement and curiosity. It was through spending his days with Eren that Levi remembered his enjoyment of training and teaching and relaxing at the end of a long day rather than just falling into bed to prepare for the next day to come.

 

In fact it was when Levi was lying down trying to sleep that was hardest; he missed the dip of the mattress of Eren sleeping beside him and the quiet breathing that was not his own, rather than Auruo's snoring that sounded like he had something perpetually caught in the back of his throat.

 

He was glad when he heard whispers of the Military Police arriving in the city on the second evening, thoughts of Eren falling to the back of his mind. Late that night after the rest of the inn and city had gone to bed, Levi and his squad slipped out through one of the windows in their rooms. Using their Gear they flew to the rooftops and landed on silent feet, taking advantage of the cloudy night sky to move through the shadows.

 

The first meeting wouldn't be happening until the following night but Levi never took soldiers into a situation he hadn't already scoped out in advance. They already knew the location of the house where the Military Police higher-ups were supposed to be staying, and where they would be holding the meeting. The city around them was also sleeping peacefully as Levi and the others surrounded the house, keeping out of sight as they looked through the open windows.

 

It took a little bit of searching and patience but finally Levi saw a few faces that he recognized as being in charge of various Military Police squads and missions. They were too far away to hear any conversations and Levi wouldn't risk exposing them before the important information was being discussed, but he felt better knowing his targets were where they were supposed to be.

 

"There's a hatch on the roof," Erd informed him as he landed beside Levi and hid behind a chimney. "If they have their meeting in the attic like we're expecting then we can sneak in and hide in the rafters."

 

Gunter landed next, voice hushed. "And if they choose another part of the building there's a cellar door on the main floor in the back alley," he said. "There's a pretty impressive lock on there but if you have your lock picks, Captain—"

 

"When do I ever not have my lock picks?" Levi cut him off.

 

"Fair point," Gunter said.

 

"All of the surrounding buildings are residences," Petra joined them then. "If they side with the Military Police then the residents could hide them from us, but otherwise I doubt the Military Police will involve them unless necessary."

 

Auruo was the last to land on the rooftop, having scouted the farthest. "By Gear it takes four solid minutes to reach the far wall. Horse would take longer with people and stalls in the streets. We could catch anyone who tried to run if we had to."

 

"We're avoiding confrontation at all costs," Levi reminded the group. "If they see us then they know there's an information leak. Still, good work. We'll come back tomorrow after nightfall, figure out where they'll be and get into position."

 

They staked out the building for a little while longer, making sure nothing could surprise them the next night. Then they headed back to their inn to fall into bed and try to get as much sleep as possible. Levi slept lightly, constantly focused outward to detect any potential threats even though none came. Luckily he naturally required minimal sleep to function properly and he didn't feel like dragging his feet the following morning.

 

The third day passed in a flash, anticipation and impatience filling the air. Levi wasn't one to pace but he did end up staring out of the window for a long time watching people pass by. In the early afternoon when they still had a few hours before they had to begin preparing themselves Levi indulged in a few minutes of thinking about Eren. He wondered what the kid was up to, if he really had forgotten to miss Levi with Hanji keeping him busy, and how tightly they would hug when Levi got back.

 

That evening they packed up all of their belongings and tacked their horses in the stables, just in case things went awry. Then they slipped out through the window as quietly as they had before, shadows sailing over the city. As soon as they approached their target Levi could see lights on in the attic, a few candles lit and warming the room. Without a word Levi held out a hand and halted his squad, flying over to the roof of the meeting house on his own.

 

He found another lock on the attic hatch which he made quick work of before pulling the wood panel back slowly to avoid making any noise. It took a moment for his eyes to adjust and then Levi took in the wide wooden beams making up the rafters of the room. If they were all careful and quiet, the whole squad could perch and listen to the meeting below.

 

Levi motioned to his squad and one by one they joined him on the roof, slinking in to take their spot on a beam. Any noise they might've made – which they didn't – would have been covered by the creaking footsteps and chatter of Military Police officials flowing into the room. Erd remained by the hatch, watching the surrounding rooftops and listening for any sign of an ambush.

 

It took a few minutes for all of the officials to get into the room and Levi found the comfiest position he could to avoid his legs cramping while also making sure he could move quickly if they needed to escape. Eventually the talks began and Levi listened intently, ensuring that he would remember all of the important facts to relay back to Erwin. That was, of course, until suspicion began to gnaw at him.

 

His eyes met Petra's and she nodded. Something was amiss. Levi hated the Military Police but that didn't mean he would call them stupid, especially not _this_ stupid. Even if they were unaware of listening ears, there was no way all these high-ranking Military Police officials would get into one room and spew all these secrets and plans to anyone who was listening. It was obvious almost immediately that they were trying to feed Levi's squad false information and had set this whole thing up.

 

Levi pointed back at the hatch, a silent order of retreat. No one argued; they all knew that this was a setup. Gunter joined Erd on the rooftop first, followed by Auruo and Petra. Levi was the last to feel fresh air on his face and he looked around to the rest of his squad after carefully closing the hatch behind them. "The four of you make your way back to the inn on foot. Get on the horses, grab mine, and take them beyond the wall. I'll meet you there."

 

"And where do you think you're going?" Petra demanded.

 

"I'm going to use my Gear," Levi explained. "They'll be watching for us now and they'll likely expect us to use our Gear to get out of here as quickly as possible."

 

"You can't be bait!" Petra snapped quietly.

 

"Why not?" Levi hissed back.

 

"Because you have a kid waiting for you to come home!" she shot back, eyes imploring.

 

Levi swallowed and forced himself not to think about Eren in that moment. "I'll be careful. Now go. If they're not already on us then they will be soon."

 

Petra gave a frustrated huff and ducked over the edge of the roof, using her Gear to quietly reach the ground and disappear into the alleys. "Be careful, Captain," Erd said before he too disappeared, the others right behind him.

 

Levi didn't hesitate. He took off to sail to a nearby rooftop, trying to not make it obvious that he was attempting to catch attention. He saw some shadows move to his right and launched forward again, hoping that the Military Police hadn't seen Levi's squad land on the ground before they spotted Levi. Either way, Levi didn't have long before he had five obvious pursuers and who knew how many hidden ones; if his squad had other attackers then they could handle themselves.

 

Levi set his path to head southwest, off-course from the inn and instead aiming for the nearest portion of the wall. Not that it was going to be his final destination, but if he could just lose his tail long enough to head in the direction of the western gate he could meet up with his squad again and they could let the thick forest swallow them from view.

 

Luck was not on Levi's side. As he approached the wall he saw two other people jump off the wall and rush towards him, equipped with their own Manoeuvre Gear. Levi veered quickly to the left, still heading in the opposite direction of the inn since he knew it would take his squad longer to arrive on foot. By now the Military Police had recognized him and weren't even trying to be subtle, hollering threats as they closed in on Levi.

 

Beneath his cloak Levi grasped the hilts of his two swords, still focused on staying ahead of his pursuers for as long as possible. They were getting closer though, taking daring swipes at the wires of his Gear, and Levi also had to ensure he reserved enough air in his canisters to get him out to the forest. Finding a particularly sloped roof, Levi touched down where he knew he would find stability and spun on his heel, wielding his blades just in time for his first attacker to spear himself in the gut on it, too slow to dodge.

 

Levi kicked him off and let the dead man tumble to the ground, not listening to the sickening crack he knew would follow when the man found the pavement. Instead Levi arced his blades up and nicked the air canister of his next attacker. The canister hissed angrily as pressurized air spilled free and the woman tumbled from the air. She had enough air left to potentially make a safe landing but Levi didn't take the time to check.

 

Two others landed with more caution, standing a short distance from him on the rooftop. It was a classic duel but Levi was more skilled with the blade and more sure-footed on the sloping tiles. It didn't take him long to send one sliding down, his fingernails clinging to the metal gutters as he shouted for help. Levi's other opponent wavered and then dashed to his comrade's aid, and Levi decided they weren't people he wanted to kill.

 

He launched his Gear again and this time headed north, aiming to slowly head back towards the inn and then the western gate. Levi had three more pursuers and he didn't know why more reinforcements hadn't arrived yet but he wasn't going to give them a chance. Without any hint Levi stopped his Gear and let himself plummet into the alleys, house walls hugging him on either side. It was a tight fit but when he heard the _clang_ of a human body colliding with the metal sign Levi had just avoided, he knew he had made the right choice.

 

Suddenly Levi grunted as a heavy weight landed on his back and he realized too late that someone must've jumped from the roof to grab him. Levi was slammed against the brick wall, the air escaping his lungs in a rush. His attacker clung to him, the face unrecognizable in the darkness. However, the sharp, burning sting of a blade slicing through his skin was unmistakable.

 

Levi gasped and brought up his own sword; his second one dropped after his arm was cut. His attacker had injured him but had left himself vulnerable. The man barely let out a wheeze before the grasp of his body to Levi's loosened and he fell away to the ground below. Levi held his injured arm against his chest, feeling the blood soak through his shirt as he sheathed his remaining sword.

 

He didn't know where his final pursuer was, or if more were coming, but Levi didn't let fear keep him in the alley. Right now he could only think about getting back to Eren safely and there was nothing that could stop him. He continued to manoeuvre through the alleys using mainly his Gear, straining to hear any sign of attack that never came. Levi reached the outer wall and flew over it, landing hard at the edge of the forest where his squad was waiting.

 

It took two tries for Levi to pull himself up into the saddle, his one arm throbbing angrily at any movement. The ride back to HQ would be terribly unpleasant but they couldn't risk the Military Police following them beyond the city borders. "We ride until dawn," he said and nudged his horse into a gallop, his squad flanking him on each side.

 

They rode for about thirty minutes before Levi had to call them to a halt, barely managing to dismount without falling. Getting his feet on solid ground did nothing to stop his dizziness and Levi held tightly to the saddle to keep himself upright. Erd reached him then and got Levi seated while Petra lit a small lantern. Levi didn’t like having the lantern showing their location in the dark but he hoped it wouldn’t take long to bandage him up and that they were already far enough away from the city to be somewhat safe.

 

“You should’ve told us you were injured,” Erd scolded him as he carefully peeled back the torn sleeve of Levi’s shirt. The fabric was caught slightly in the deep gash and Levi gritted his teeth to keep silent. It was only when Petra brought the lantern closer and Levi saw her wide, worried eyes that Levi looked down and noticed that the front of his shirt was stained red by now.

 

“I wouldn’t have let you stop beside the city anyway,” Levi argued, falling silent when Erd held his arm aloft to look closer.

 

“Yeah, well judging by the way your arms looks I’d guess they poisoned their blades. You wouldn’t have made it back to HQ alive without this getting cleaned,” Erd gave him a hard look and then grabbed the first-aid kit.

 

“That’s a dirty way to fight,” Levi grumbled. “Why don’t we do that?”

 

No one answered him and Levi struggled to breathe normally as Erd poured a disinfectant over the gash. Levi could feel his skin sizzling as his whole body tensed. Once the wound was clean Erd bandaged it tightly enough to slow the bleeding. “This will need stitches but it’ll last until we get back to HQ.”

 

“What about the poison?” Petra worried aloud.

 

“Cleaning the wound will have helped a lot,” Erd explained and met Levi’s eyes. “Some of the poison might have already gotten into your body and will make you pretty sick and weak for a few days, but it looks like the poison was only strong enough to incapacitate, not to kill. You’re lucky.”

 

“Good, let’s go then,” Levi said stiffly. His squad wasn’t being too vocal about their displeasure but they didn’t need to be; Levi already felt chastised. For the majority of his life he didn’t have much to live for. It made him a good soldier; he would always put the lives of his squad and those he fought for above his own safety. Now all he could imagine was the look on Eren’s face if the squad returned back to the castle without Levi. He would need to find a way to balance his own safety and that of his squad’s from now on.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this chapter is a bit short, but I hope the Ereri fluff makes up for it! <3

As Levi had predicted, the ride back to the castle was an uncomfortable one. Each rise and fall of the horse had another streak of pain passing through his arm and up into his shoulder. Levi forced himself to ignore it even when the sky began to turn gray with the approaching sun; at this point he was willing to ride until they arrived just so they could all rest and actually feel safe.

 

About an hour after the sun had risen over the trees the castle came into view. The guards on the walls saw them and opened the gates but otherwise the courtyard and castle was deserted. Everyone else was still asleep, not expecting Levi's squad back this early. Levi accepted the hand from Erd as he got off his horse, and didn't put up much of a fight when a stable hand took Levi's horse and promised to untack it.

 

"You need to get your arm stitched up," Erd said in a way that left little room for argument. Levi didn't bother making a fuss and let himself be led to the infirmary. He was half-asleep with exhaustion though he woke up as the first stitch through his skin shot him full of adrenaline.

 

The rest of his squad was standing around him, watching the healer carefully stitch up the cut on Levi's arm. In the morning light they could see that it extended from his wrist to nearly the crook of his arm, but was only about half an inch deep. It would take a while to heal and it would hurt for a long time but it could've been infinitely worse. Levi had experienced much worse. "Go get some rest," he ordered his squad, only mildly irritated when they all ignored him and remained hovering nearby until Levi's arm was bandaged a second time.

 

"Should we brief the Commander, Captain?" Gunter asked after Levi was released from the infirmary. They all had rooms on the same floor of the castle so they all walked together as a unit.

 

Levi was going to say no since he could see how exhausted everyone else was, their worn faces mirroring the way Levi felt. But he knew that even one day could fog their memories and Levi was forced to nod. "Yes, but quickly. I'm not planning on being conscious for much longer."

 

He knocked on Erwin's door and didn't barge in the way he normally did, instead waiting for the sound of approaching footsteps and the door clicking open. Erwin's eyes widened noticeably when he saw them all standing there, and then narrowed when Erwin noticed the bandages on Levi's left arm. "Come in," Erwin ordered simply and led them all into his meeting room. When they were all sitting Erwin looked at all of them in turn. "Tell me what happened."

 

"At least one of your information sources isn't trustworthy," Levi told him. "They were expecting us to show up and listen in on the meeting. They were feeding us a bunch of bullshit information. Luckily they're shitty liars."

 

"And they attacked you?" Erwin's gaze returned to Levi's arm.

 

"Not at first. We decided to get out before they ambushed us and got us trapped in the rafters," Levi said, using the majority of his focus to keep his eyes open.

 

"Captain Levi used his Gear over the city and gave us enough time to get back to the inn and get the horses beyond the city boundaries," Erd added. Levi didn't need to look over; he could feel Erwin's hard stare. "He was cut in battle and I suspect the Military Police are putting some sort of poison on their blades to incapacitate people. Luckily we got the gash cleaned so the lingering effects shouldn't be too bad."

 

"You didn't need to add that fucking part," Levi muttered under his breath, his head falling back against the chair. Fuck, he was so tired. Worse than the others. Maybe it was the remaining poison in his system.

 

"I'm glad he did," Erwin said tightly, anger thinly veiled. "I want each of you to write down everything you remember hearing and seeing. We'll cross-reference that information and begin to work back through the information chain to find our traitor. After that you're all going to bed."

 

Everyone was too tired to argue. They each grabbed a few sheets of paper and a pen and began jotting down everything they remembered, pushing through their exhaustion. Levi wrote for about fifteen minutes straight and then let his head rest against the chair again, the pen loose in his grasp as his eyes closed. A warm hand touched his shoulder and Levi barely blinked his eyes open to look up. "To bed with you," Erwin said, taking the paper and pen from Levi's hands. "I know someone who will be excited to see you back."

 

Levi had been considering just falling asleep in the armchair, but the reminder about Eren had Levi slowly pulling himself to his feet. "I'll come back this evening to go over plans," Levi offered groggily.

 

"If I see you back here before tomorrow I'll lock you in the basement to sleep," Erwin warned and then pointed towards the door.

 

"Take care of yourself, Captain," Petra requested softly.

 

The others were watching him with similar looks of concern. "You all worry too much," Levi chided without malice and then headed out into the hallway.

 

His door was locked, which didn't bother him even though it was a nuisance. With the last of his energy Levi used his lock picks to get the door open and locked behind him again. He didn't want to wake Eren up now when Levi didn't have the energy to entertain his excitement and questions. Levi briefly attempted to get his uniform off but gave up quickly when his injured arm throbbed again in warning. Between the healer and Gunter, Levi's Gear had been removed but his uniform and all the straps and buckles remained wound around his body.

 

Deciding that it wasn't worth the effort, Levi snuck into the bedroom as quietly as he could. He saw Eren asleep on his side of the bed, Levi's normal side of the bed a little rumpled but otherwise untouched and waiting for him. Levi gave a heavy sigh of relief as he lay down on the mattress and felt his whole body melt. It took him mere seconds to pass out.

 

#

 

"I'll carry him down to the infirmary."

 

"No, I want to carry him!"

 

"You can't carry him; you're too small."

 

" _I can carry him_!"

 

"No one is fucking carrying me _anywhere_ so shut your damned mouths and let me sleep!" Levi growled, eyes clenched closed as his head ached with pain.

 

"Language!"

 

Levi peeled one eye open and saw Hanji giving him a disapproving look on one side of his bed. Then Levi looked to the other side of his bed and found Erwin and Eren both staring at him. Not that Levi hadn't accidentally let slip a few curse words in front of Eren before, but he had never directed them _at_ Eren. Levi grunted and held a hand to his head, distracted from the thought of making an apology when his head pulsed with a more insistent pain. "What's going on?"

 

"We think your body is working through the poison, but it's given you a nasty fever," Hanji said. "Eren noticed and came to get me, telling me you looked really sick and weren't waking up." Now Hanji punched him on his non-injured arm. "You jerk! Learn to take better care of yourself."

 

"We'll move him to the infirmary until he is well. I'll carry him," Erwin said again and stepped closer.

 

Eren clamoured up onto the bed and knelt between Levi and Erwin. "I said I'll carry him!"

 

"No one needs to carry me anywhere," Levi groaned, covering his eyes with his uninjured arm to block out the sun. "I'll just stay here until my body fights it off."

 

"And end up starving in the process?" Erwin pointed out.

 

"I can bring food and water up," Eren offered quickly, looking hopefully at Levi.

 

Levi shrugged, ready to be unconscious again. "Works for me."

 

Hanji pursed zher lips but then shrugged as well. "As long as you promise not to stab us when we come check on you."

 

"Depends on how loud you insist on being," Levi shot back, closing his eyes again.

 

"I'm still bringing a healer up to look you over before you're allowed to sleep again," Erwin told him.

 

Levi yawned. "You say that like you think you can stop me."

 

Perhaps recognizing the tension in the air, Hanji spoke up. "How about we go grab some food and the healer first, and then we won't need to wake you up again for a while. Eren, want to help me get something for Levi?"

 

Eren looked torn, wanting to stay and help at the same time. "Okay," Eren eventually agreed, getting off the bed and following Hanji out into the hall.

 

As soon as they were gone Erwin sat on the bed and looked down at Levi. "Why are you being so difficult?"

 

"Because I'm fine," Levi said. "You and I both know that if the poison had been bad I wouldn't have made it back to the squad. At this point it's just a matter of sleeping and fighting it off. And don't even try to guilt me about my actions back in the city," he cut Erwin off before the man could even do more than open his mouth. "You know I don't run into danger without purpose. This was the best chance for the whole squad to survive, and if I was back there I would make the same choice again. I will always do what I can to keep everyone alive."

 

"I'm not worried about how you weigh the lives of others, Levi," Erwin's voice was hushed, his eyes sad. "I worry about how you weigh your own life's value. You are not a piece in a chess match."

 

"You always talk like we're in a chess match," Levi argued.

 

Erwin leaned closer. "That doesn't mean you have to act like you're made of stone, or that you're expendable. I know you dealt with a lot of shit in your childhood but—"

 

Levi's eyes flashed open. "We're not talking about that right now."

 

Erwin raised his hands in surrender. He knew when he had pushed too far. They were saved from an awkward silence when the door banged open and Eren came running in carrying a plate of food and a mug. "Levi, we got you food and your favourite tea!" Eren said excitedly. Thankfully he set the plate and mug on the bedside table before climbing up onto the bed again, sitting pointedly between Levi and Erwin, who was forced to move back slightly to make room for the kid.

 

"And a healer," Hanji said as zhe also entered the room. "Who you better be nice to," zhe pointed a warning finger at Levi.

 

"When am I ever not nice?" Levi drawled sarcastically as he slowly pushed himself into a seated position. Everyone gave him knowing looks and Levi didn't pursue the conversation. Instead he focused on answering the healer's questions about how he was feeling and trying not to wince too noticeably when she took off the bandages to look over his wound. Some of the bandages clung to his skin with the dried blood and Levi clenched his eyes closed. Then he felt a hand hold his tentatively and Levi looked over to find Eren watching him with worried eyes. "I'll be fine," Levi promised even though his voice was strained.

 

Eren surprised him by giving him a warm smile. "I know."

 

Levi gave Eren's hand a little squeeze. The healer cleaned the wound again and then re-bandaged it. "I want you to eat and get some fluids in your body before you go back to sleep," she told Levi when she was done. "And then you're going to rest for a few days. You need to keep your body strong to work through any lingering poison. As long as your fever stays this high you can expect a visit every few hours from me."

 

"Can't wait," Levi sighed.

 

"He means 'thank you'," Hanji said to the healer, who gave Levi an exasperated look before exiting the room. Levi knew he would've gotten smacked by Hanji if he wasn't so sick.

 

Before Hanji or Erwin could give him more of a hard time Levi looked at Eren. "How about some food?"

 

Eren nodded and grabbed the plate, handing it over and then reaching again for the mug of tea. Levi sniffed the tea first and then took a satisfying gulp, warmth spreading through his body and combating his fever chills. He handed the cup back to Eren to hold while Levi ate, making sure to rest his injured arm as much as possible. He was stubborn but not stupid.

 

Levi managed to finish about half the food on the plate but the rest would keep so he got Eren to set it back on the bedside table and sipped his tea. He should've felt uncomfortable having three people watching him eat but Levi just felt safe, relaxed and tired. "Now can I sleep?" he finally asked after he had drunk the last of his tea, handing the mug off. "Or is there more you require?"

 

"Just for you to get better," Erwin said simply, which was enough to quieten Levi. He could be a snarky asshole as much as he wanted but that didn't change the fact that his friends were only acting this way out of genuine concern for his wellbeing.

 

"We'll see you later," Hanji ruffled his hair and gave him a smile before hooking zher arm with Erwin's and dragging him away. There weren't many people who would dare act like that towards the Commander but all three of them had been through so much together they took some liberties.

 

Levi lay back down and smiled softly when Eren lay down beside him. "You should go out. It looks like a nice day," Levi said before yawning.

 

"Maybe in a while," Eren said noncommittally. "But this afternoon they're doing sword practice and Hanji doesn't need me for anything."

 

"I won't be awake much longer," Levi warned. "I won't be very interesting to be around."

 

"That's okay," Eren rested his forehead against Levi's shoulder. "I just want to be here."

 

"Alright." Levi wasn't going to argue when having Eren so close by was making him feel calm and content. As Levi's eyes slid closed he smiled, relieved that he had been able to keep his promise to return to Eren.

 

#

 

The next time Levi woke up he could see that the sky was darkened with twilight. He had slept the majority of the day and although his body felt stiff from lack of movement, Levi's head and arm throbbed less insistently. Levi was sprawled out on his back and as consciousness returned to him he noticed that he had another warm body curled up against his side.

 

At some point Eren had snuck under the covers and laid as close as he could manage. Levi also realized slowly that his arm was wound around Eren's shoulders, keeping him close. It wasn't a position Levi had been expecting or was entirely comfortable with; he shared physical contact with Erwin and even Hanji at times but Levi wouldn't consider himself a cuddler. Regardless, he felt no desire to shove Eren away.

 

"Eren?" he whispered, not wanting to wake the boy if he was asleep. Eren grunted though, sitting up and causing Levi's arm to slide away and onto the pillows. "Have you been here all day?"

 

Eren shook his head and rubbed his eyes as he yawned. "No. I napped for a while after you fell asleep and then watched sword training. I had dinner with Hanji and then brought more food up here for when you woke up."

 

"Speaking of, why didn't they come wake me up like they threatened?" Levi wondered.

 

"They came," Eren said. "You just slept."

 

"Guess I'm not in terrible shape then if they didn't feel the need to wake me up," Levi said, though he didn't feel like getting out of bed at all. Especially when Eren lay back down and pulled Levi's arm back around his body; that explained how his arm had ended up around Eren in the first place. Levi didn't fight it. "Aren't you bored lying here?"

 

"No," Eren said. "It feels good lying here with you after you were gone." Eren tucked his face against Levi's side and threw his own arm around Levi's middle, hugging him desperately beneath the blankets. "I'm really glad you came back."

 

"I promised, didn't I?" Levi said quietly, holding Eren a little tighter in return.

 

"Yeah, but that doesn't always mean anything," Eren mumbled sadly. "My dad used to leave for work a lot too, and he always said he'd come back. But one day he just...didn't. Then it was just me and mom and now she... she's gone too." Eren was clinging to Levi so tightly that it almost hurt but Levi couldn't bear to push him away. "I was scared you wouldn't come back and I'd be alone."

 

"I wish I didn't have to leave, or make you worry," Levi moved his arm up until his fingers could curl the ends of Eren's hair. He felt Eren shiver and Levi returned to hugging him close. "All I can promise is that I'll do everything to always return. You won't be alone. Even if something were to happen to me..." Levi stared at the ceiling when Eren sniffled. "You'll have friends who will take care of you. Hanji, Petra, the others."

 

"I want _you_ ," Eren whined.

 

"Then I'll make sure to keep myself alive," Levi pressed a hesitant, soothing kiss to the top of Eren's head.

 

It was difficult to hear Eren's next words with his face pressed against Levi's side but Levi strained to listen. "Do I bother you when I'm always around?"

 

"Of course not," Levi assured the boy. "I wish there were other kids your age so you could have some friends to play with but I like having you with me."

 

"Yeah," Eren sighed. "I miss my friends."

 

This was the first time Eren had really talked about his family or friends since being brought to the Survey Corps headquarters. "Tell me about them," he requested.

 

"I had two friends, mainly," Eren began. "Mikasa and Armin. I met Mikasa when I was young because my dad was friends with her family. They lived a short distance away on the city's borders. I liked playing out there with her because of all the green fields we could run through. And Armin we both met one time when Mikasa was visiting me in the city. Some other guys were picking on him and we scared them off." Eren paused. "Do you think I'll ever see them again?"

 

"I don't know," Levi admitted. "If they weren't in the main parts of the district they might've survived. But it'll be hard to find them again." He doubted that was the right thing to say but he couldn't bear to get Eren's hopes up too high.

 

"Well Mikasa was on the edge of town, and I think I remember that Armin was on a trip with his family," Eren thought aloud. "I just want them to be okay, even if I don't see them again."

 

Levi continued to stare at the ceiling. Despite the fact that he was surprisingly happy having Eren with him, enjoying being Eren's companion, teacher and confidante, Levi still wished that Eren had never gotten dragged into this. In a different district or a different time Eren could have still had his loving family and friends, rather than being stuck with Levi's fumbling attempts at being a mentor.

 

Levi's stomach suddenly growled with hunger, spoiling the moment. Eren didn't seem to mind, chuckling as he sat up. "You should eat," Eren said as he slid from the reach of Levi's arm and stood up.

 

"And where are you going?" Levi sat up slowly and leaned back against the headboard, watching Eren put on his shoes.

 

"To get you more tea," Eren grinned and then dashed out of the room before Levi could call him back.

 

In the time Levi had alone he went to the bathroom and finally managed to change into a clean set of clothes. He spent a few minutes pacing and stretching out his muscles and then rolled back into bed, wiped. Levi wasn't used to feeling this exhausted all the time; he was rarely wounded and got sick even less frequently. He wanted to be out tracking down the traitor in their information chain. But he knew Erwin wouldn't let him do anything right now anyway, and when Eren returned Levi decided a night of rest wouldn't hurt.

 

Levi sat with his plate of food in his lap, taking turns between eating and sipping the tea Eren had grabbed for him. As he ate he listened to Eren tell him more about what had happened in the few days he had been away from the castle, hearing stories about the trainees and Hanji. Unfortunately by the time Levi was finished eating he could already feel his body and thoughts turning sluggish, and he barely got the plate and mug set aside before he lay back down.

 

Eren was right there with him, pressing a hand and then a kiss to Levi's forehead to check his temperature the way Eren had no doubt learned from his mother in the past. "Should I get someone?" Eren asked worriedly.

 

"I'm fine," Levi said tiredly. "But you can go back downstairs if you want. I'm sure Petra and the others are playing cards by now and I'm being very boring."

 

"I have an idea," Eren proclaimed and disappeared again, though he was back quickly. Levi could see the novel he had been reading to Eren before leaving on the mission clasped in Eren's hand as he returned to the bed and sat beside Levi. "I'll read to you."

 

Knowing that Eren didn't really enjoy reading, Levi was touched by the offer. It wasn't entirely restful having Eren read to him since every page or so Eren would stumble, stutter, and then poke Levi until he looked at the page and told Eren how to pronounce the troublesome word. Still, it was an enjoyable way to pass the time until Hanji and the healer stopped by again. The visit was shorter when the healer confirmed that Levi's fever had gone down, and she and Hanji left willingly. Levi badly wanted to sleep but he still ended up staying awake for another hour listening to Eren read, and enjoyed every second of it.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Please note for those who don't really enjoy Erwin/Levi and are just putting up with it until we get to Levi/Eren (which I swear will come and it'll be worth the wait!), there is an Erwin/Levi smut scene in this chapter. It adds some character development but is also skippable for those who wish to do so.**

More months passed. Levi's body worked through the poison and his arm healed and he quickly returned to his own training regime while helping the new recruits and also continuing Eren's private lessons. More than once Levi and Erwin fought but Erwin never agreed to let Levi follow up on the information leak that had betrayed them all. Erwin made a good point that Levi was too well-known and no traitor would divulge information to him, but that didn't mean Levi still didn't want to go out and track down the asshole himself.

 

His sanity was maintained between Erwin keeping him updated on the situation and with Eren demanding the rest of his attention. Eren continued to stick close by Levi's side, which Levi suspected was due to a blend of his young age and the fact that Eren didn't have other kids his age to spend time with. The new recruits were almost twice his age and often uninterested in welcoming Eren into their group even if they weren't outwardly mean about it.

 

Levi could understand. The new recruits were at the age where they were beginning to notice each other, setting up whatever sort of date they could manage on HQ property and occasionally getting caught making out behind the stables. They didn't want an eight-turning-nine year old boy hanging on their coattails. Still, it was difficult for Levi on the days when he noticed Eren staring sadly at nothing, lost in some fantasy world – perhaps imagining a world where he still had his parents and friends in his life.

 

It was on those days that Levi made a particular point to take some time off from work to indulge Eren's whims. With a castle as large as their HQ, Eren's favourite game quickly became Hide and Seek, though you could only play that so many times before all the hiding spots had been discovered. On one day when Eren seemed particularly sad and clingy Levi got an idea and strapped his Manoeuvre Gear on.

 

They rode out to the edge of the nearby forest and dismounted. Levi hadn't told Eren his plan but when Levi pulled out a second set of Gear straps Eren's face lit up instantly. "Don't get too excited," Levi cautioned immediately. "You're not getting your own Gear yet, but I'm going to take you up with me."

 

Eren wasn't deterred in the slightest, jumping closer and snatching the straps and buckles from Levi's hands. "This is the best day _ever_!" Eren said on repeat as he fumbled with the straps, Levi helping until Eren was properly buckled up. He had gotten the straps custom made for Eren's size and was pleased to see that everything fit quite well. Obviously Eren would grow out of them by the time he got his own Gear in a few years, but for now it would work fine. In particular there was a strong clip Levi had gotten added to the front of Eren's uniform that would attach to the back of Levi's own.

 

Eren was practically vibrating with his excitement but when he was suited up Levi knelt in front of Eren and forced the kid to focus. "You need to be safe and not let go, okay?"

 

"I promise!" Eren grinned.

 

Although Levi wouldn't admit it to anyone, he was terrified. What if this was a terrible idea? What if Eren somehow fell or got hurt? It had only been a little over half a year since he had taken Eren in as his own but already Levi was fiercely attached to the boy. It was scary to Levi; he had lost everyone he cared about early on in his life as well and had taken years to let himself grow to care about a select few in the Survey Corps. Now this kid had barged in and the thought of Eren getting hurt or killed left Levi slightly unsteady.

 

The scariest part of all was that the simple fact of having Eren living here with the Survey Corps put him in more risk. Levi couldn't protect Eren from Levi himself and the very dangers Levi posed to him as a well-known, deadly fighter and identifiable target of a hunted gang. It would be better to send Eren away to live a safe life somewhere else but Levi was too selfish to let him go and justified it by telling himself that there was nowhere else to send Eren when really, Levi had never even bothered to look for other options.

 

"Levi, let's _gooo_!" Eren whined, tugging at the front straps of Levi's own Gear.

 

Levi smiled, his fears falling away. Eren was good at that, helping Levi momentarily forget about his fears, uncertainties and frustrations and reminding him to enjoy life. "Alright, hook this to my back," Levi tapped the clip on Eren's front strap. "Then climb up onto my back and get a tight grip."

 

"This is the best birthday _ever_ ," Eren whispered eagerly to himself.

 

Levi stilled him quickly. "It's your birthday?" he questioned. "You're nine now, right? You never said."

 

Eren shrugged a little sheepishly. "Everyone is always busy. But this will be the best present!"

 

"Happy birthday then," Levi said. He was relieved and happy that he had chosen today of all days to bring Eren out here for his first Manoeuvre flight.

 

He turned his back to Eren and felt as Eren got the clip snapped into place. Eren's method of climbing on Levi was to nearly jump, Levi losing his breath for a second. He took the time to return his breathing to normal as Eren found a comfortable position clutching tightly to Levi's shoulders, his legs hooking on Levi's hips. "Ready!" Eren shouted excitedly in Levi's ear.

 

Levi rolled his eyes in slight exasperation and then sent out his first grappling hook into a low-hanging branch of a nearby tree. He kept low to the ground and moved slowly at first. Levi wanted to ensure that Eren would actually hold on and that the clip would serve its purpose. He also wanted to take a few minutes to relearn a skill he had mastered nearly a decade ago, learning how to shift his weight and make the Gear work for him with Eren's squirming weight added to the equation.

 

Once he was confident in his own abilities, Levi took a sudden leap into the canopy of trees. He smiled privately to himself when Eren squealed happily, no doubt enjoying the teasing dips of his stomach as they defied gravity. The 3D Manoeuvre Gear had been developed for combat in cities but Levi could never grow tired of sailing through the air and dancing among the trees like this, Eren clinging to him and shouting without a care in the world.

 

Levi could've gone for hours but eventually he noticed Eren growing quieter as he began to tremble against Levi's back. Levi changed course and headed back to where their horses were tied up. He set down on the grass lightly and knelt, bringing Eren's feet back in contact with the ground. Eren unclipped himself and then wobbled into view as he readjusted to gravity after the sensation of flying. Eren had a goofy look of dazed happiness on his face.

 

"Let's do that again," Eren beamed.

 

"You're shivering," Levi observed, rubbing his hands along Eren's arms to warm him up. "We'll get you a cloak for next time to keep warm."

 

"Anything," Eren breathed. "As long as we can go again."

 

"We'll go again," Levi assured Eren as he picked him up and helped Eren into his saddle. Perhaps it hadn't been the best idea for Eren to ride his own horse out here beyond the castle, especially since Eren's feet barely reached the stirrups. But Levi had reasoned that it would be good practice, and Levi rode the whole way back to the castle right beside Eren. He was ready to reach over and take the reins at any time if it was necessary, but was very proud when Eren managed all on his own.

 

#

 

"There has to be _something_ I can do," Levi ground out, watching the heavy downpour outside. "I'm tired of sitting here being useless."

 

"I know," Erwin said, flipping through the pages of a report in his lap. "But I also know that you understand the importance of patience better than most others. I would send you out if I thought it would bring us some result, but you're too easily recognized. No snitch is ever going to talk to you."

 

"I could make them talk," Levi threatened openly.

 

Erwin threaded his fingers through his short hair. That's how Levi could tell he was agitating the Commander. "You could," Erwin agreed with conviction. "But I'd rather turn the leak back on the Military Police if possible."

 

"I realize that confronting a leak would alert the Military Police to the fact that we've realized there's at least one traitor," Levi sighed, turning his gaze back out to the darkened sky when he heard the first _crack_ of thunder. Lightning streaked the sky; the storm was getting worse. "But making the traitor talk would be a lot more fucking satisfying."

 

"Tough," Erwin said without pity. "If you want satisfaction then get your ass over here. Otherwise you can leave. It's impossible to focus when you're in a mood like this."

 

Irritated and not exactly opposed to some release, Levi stalked across the room. There weren't many times when he actively tried to dominate Erwin but today he straddled Erwin's lap and dug his nails deep into blond hair. He dragged Erwin's head back and devoured his mouth with demanding lips and angry teeth. Levi felt a brief flare of satisfaction before Erwin reacted and flipped them, pinning Levi to the length of the couch with the full weight of his body.

 

Erwin had Levi's pants unbuttoned and halfway down his hips when there was a frantic knocking at the door. Both of them jolted in surprise, Levi fumbling to get his pants done back up while Erwin stood up and smoothed his hair back down. They shared a look, feeling the unresolved heat between them. The knocking came again though and neither of them was hard in their pants yet so it was easier to brush off the moment.

 

Levi returned to a seated position on the couch and let Erwin approach the door. Just as the door opened another crash of thunder filled the air, followed by a scream and a desperate sob. "Levi?" a voice begged in the hallway.

 

Silently Erwin pulled the door open wider, revealing Eren and Levi to each other across the room. Eren was crying openly but looked up hesitantly at Erwin again, clearly uncertain. Erwin tilted his head towards Levi and that was all the permission Eren needed to run across the room and crawl into Levi's lap. Levi was about to ask what was going on but was interrupted by another flash of lightning and echoing thunder. The responding whine from the back of Eren's throat as he hid his face against Levi's neck answered his question.

 

"It's just a thunderstorm," he soothed, rubbing Eren's back. His arousal faded instantly as his concern mounted. Eren's tears were tickling Levi's neck but he ignored it and held the boy closer. "You're safe."

 

Eren shook his head and whimpered louder when the next bang of thunder made the castle tremble. Levi was startled at the same time when Erwin dropped a blanket on his head. Levi sent him a slight glare before grabbing the blanket where it had fallen, unfurling it and wrapping it around Eren's body. Erwin said nothing and silently sat on the opposite end of the couch, picking up his notes a second time to read nonchalantly.

 

Nothing Levi was saying seemed to be calming Eren down as the storm raged outside and, running out of ideas, Levi looked over to Erwin. "You don't have any novels lying around, do you?"

 

Erwin raised an eyebrow and considered him for a moment before standing up and disappearing into his bedroom. A minute later he returned with a worn storybook, holding it out for Levi to take. Arm still around Eren beneath the blanket to hold him close, Levi got the book open with his other hand and began to read it aloud. He briefly worried about distracting Erwin but the blond man showed no sign of irritation. Levi ended up reading the first chapter of the book before the storm calmed, although Eren had begun to relax before that.

 

When the storm was a mere distant rumble in the distance Levi was expecting Eren to shake off his fear and return to his more energetic self. He was surprised when Eren grabbed the blanket and pulled it over his head to hide. "Eren, come on," Levi pulled the blanket back to uncover Eren's head. Eren looked at him and Levi brushed away the lingering tear tracks. "What's wrong?"

 

Eren gave Erwin a sidelong look, embarrassment obvious on his face before he hid his face against Levi's neck again. "You're both so brave," he muttered.

 

Understanding came to Levi and he held Eren a little tighter. "Everyone is scared of something, Eren."

 

"It's true," Erwin spoke up suddenly. Eren looked over hesitantly. "This is a secret between you and me, but I'm terrified of spiders." That wasn't a lie, but Levi couldn't help remembering when he and Erwin had shared this discussion many years earlier and what Erwin had said then. His voice had been haunted. _I'm terrified that people will die because of a mistake I make_. It was why Erwin was such a meticulous perfectionist.

 

Eren giggled quietly and wrapped his arms a little tighter around Levi's neck, though he was watching Erwin. "They're just bugs."

 

Erwin made a face. "Too many legs. Centipedes too. I always make Levi come to kill them for me."

 

"Is that why Levi is here so much?" Eren wondered.

 

Levi's eyes met Erwin's before they both looked away. "Sometimes, yeah," Levi said. "I need to come and save our Commander from itty bitty spiders," he teased.

 

Eren laughed again and then turned his big, curious eyes on Levi. "What are you scared of?"

 

Levi sighed and brushed a few stray locks of hair from Eren's eyes. "I'm scared of losing the people I care about because I couldn't protect them. It's why I'm so annoying about not letting you learn swords or Manoeuvre Gear yet," Levi smiled sadly, trying to bring humour to the situation even though his heart was aching.

 

Eren noticed the tone, nuzzling his neck shyly. "I feel safest with you."

 

Levi hugged him tightly in thanks. "I'm glad. You remember me telling you on the day we met that I lost my family when I was young too?" he asked, feeling Eren nod against him. "I couldn't do anything to save them then, but I won't let that happen to you."

 

"You were young," Erwin said softly, reminding him again of this fact even though it never fully took away the heavy weight of guilt that Levi carried with him knowing he was the only one to have survived the attack.

 

"What happened?" Eren asked hesitantly.

 

Levi could still feel Erwin's gaze on him but Levi was staring straight ahead. "I was nine, nearly ten. I lived on the very edge of the outer territories under the shadow of the wall. Back then the Military Police hadn't gained as much strength or confidence but the outer territories were still at a disadvantage. My parents were both very politically active and made a lot of enemies. One day the Military Police or the Crown decided my parents were just a little too vocal and accurate in what they said and the Military Police came to silence them."

 

Eren was sitting up in Levi's lap now, studying his face hard as he listened. "How did you escape?"

 

Levi grimaced. "I didn't."

 

"Levi," Erwin cautioned without words, pulling Levi somewhat from his memories. Erwin was right; this was too dark for a nine year old to hear. Of course, that didn't save Levi from the memories of dank basements, rusty chains, the bite of steel and whip, the frantic fear of being drowned...

 

"They tried to get information out of me," Levi said simply, though Eren must've felt the way Levi shuddered through the internal memories. "They thought my parents would've told me everything. They did, but I didn't tell the Military Police anything."

 

Eren lifted Levi's cravat and brushed warm fingers against the scar on Levi's neck. "Is that how you got this scar? I remember you telling me about it."

 

"Yeah," Levi said quietly.

 

Eren's fingers trailed down to clutch at the front of Levi's shirt. "Then what?"

 

"Then Erwin ended up rescuing me," Levi admitted. "He was nearly nineteen at the time and working for the Military Police. He was the one who brought me my food each day. We got to talking and then one night he used the keys to sneak me out. As soon as I was outside I ran; I didn't trust him. I thought it was a trick of the Military Police trying to get me to drop my guard."

 

"And because of it you ended up starving on the streets for two years," Erwin grumbled. He had picked up his report again but Levi knew the Commander wasn't reading; this was a difficult topic for both of them, and one that demanded their attention the few times it was brought up.

 

"I managed fine. You just don't like admitting I was dominating the streets," Levi pointed out. "I learned to find food and shelter, to fight and to beat my enemies."

 

"You might've dominated but your reign would've been short lived," Erwin argued. "You were setting yourself up for an early death." They didn't seek each other's gazes. They had discussed before the desire for death Levi had felt for years after losing his parents and being tortured. The desire he still felt at times, which was why he had always been willing to put the lives of his teammates above his own. Though these days his desire to survive had become irreversibly twined with his affections for Eren.

 

“Anyway, eventually I ran into Erwin again. He told me he had left the Military Police to join the Survey Corps. He had seen too many injustices in the city walls,” Levi continued the story. “After a while he talked me into joining him and he sort of raised me the way I’m taking care of you.”

 

“Some sort of happy ending, I suppose,” Erwin smiled.

 

"I'm glad," Eren whispered, leaning against Levi's chest.

 

It was hard sometimes for Levi to realize that the things he sometimes told Eren might be inappropriate. Levi's life story wasn't a cheerful one and would not be comforting to a child. Not to mention Levi's swearing and occasional crude humour. It was difficult for Levi to rein himself back in sometimes because he felt very close to Eren. Someday when Eren was older they might be able to confide more with each other, but for now Levi needed to act appropriately.

 

"How about another chapter of that book before bed?" Levi suggested, intent on lightening the mood. The storm had moved on for the most part. Levi could only hear the pattering of rain outside now. Eren looked a little high strung but it was late in the evening and soon time for sleep.

 

"Yes," Eren yawned and wrapped his arms around Levi again, staying close.

 

Levi got the blanket resituated around Eren and opened the novel to chapter two. Erwin gave him no indication that he wanted them to leave, perhaps half-listening to the story as he glanced over more reports. Levi finished chapter two and was just beginning chapter three when he felt Eren's head more solidly rest on him as the boy's breathing even out, indicating that he was asleep. Tired but not quite ready to get up and carry Eren to bed, Levi rested his head back against the couch and let his own eyes drift closed as he listened to Eren's breathing and the rustling of Erwin's papers. He could get used to this.

 

"You act very differently around him than you do with anyone else," Erwin commented sometime later, drawing Levi from his light doze.

 

"Are you going to mock me like everyone else has?" Levi asked tiredly.

 

"Of course not; why would I?" Erwin looked over at him. "I know how you closed yourself off after everything that happened to you as a child. But you're more open, trusting, and affectionate with Eren. I know being cold and distant in moments of training and battle are important, but it's good to see that you've found someone to open up with in the everyday. It's good for you."

 

Levi frowned. "What do you mean, _opening up_? I've talked to you plenty of times."

 

"Let's be honest. You talked to me about what happened in your youth because I already _knew_ the majority of it," Erwin said. "There wasn't much for you to tell, and even then you answered my questions more than offered information readily. Unlike how you spoke with Eren today. Not that the topic was necessarily ideal but if you're raising him then I know Eren will end up being a strong, capable person."

 

"I shouldn't have told him that story," Levi groaned, inwardly chiding himself.

 

Erwin shrugged lightly. "I wouldn't be surprised if it ended up helping Eren avoid letting the loss of his mother, friends and district overwhelm him. You're kind to him but you also prepare him for the world's cruelty."

 

"You analyze me too much. Have I told you that before?"

 

"Many times," Erwin said with amusement. "It's not my fault you're so intriguing."

 

Levi rubbed exhaustion from his eyes. "You sound like Hanji and zher damned experiments."

 

One corner of Erwin's lips quirked up. "We all have our passions."

 

They sat in comfortable silence for another long while until Levi realized he was in serious danger of falling asleep on Erwin's couch. "I'm going to get Eren to bed," Levi said as he pulled away the blanket and carefully stood from the couch, keeping Eren securely in his arms. "Thanks," he added simply as he headed for the door.

 

"Anytime, Rivaille. You know that."

 

#

 

"I know you're stashing your money and resources beyond the wall. Where is it, Rivaille?" Erwin breathed into Levi’s ear and then nipped his earlobe hard.

 

Levi gritted his teeth and clutched tighter at the blankets below them, fighting down his moan. "You can deal with not knowing one fucking thing."

 

"I could make you beg to tell me." Erwin thrust in deeper, each thrust with enough force behind it that it knocked the air from Levi's lungs as he struggled to remain on his hands and knees.

 

"This is for Eren. Just fuck off!" Levi panted, his body trembling as Erwin continued to shove into him again and again with a demanding rhythm.

 

Erwin paused, his sweaty hips against Levi’s backside. "You're right,” Erwin said. “But I can still make you beg." Erwin's smirk was audible even though Levi couldn’t see Erwin’s face. Erwin began to push his hips forward again, sliding in deeply each time. Levi was already wound tight, his body aching for release, and he couldn’t stop his gasp when Erwin reached a hand around to stroke Levi’s cock in time with his thrusts.

 

“What the hell has gotten into you?” Levi wondered as he bucked back for more, his spine arching dangerously. Not that Levi wasn’t enjoying himself _immensely_ but this wasn’t how Erwin normally acted.

 

“I thought you wanted it rough,” Erwin slid a hand up Levi’s spine and back down as he continued to pound into Levi harshly. “Did you change your mind?”

 

“No, it’s good.” Another moan caught in the back of Levi’s throat. “But I know _you_ don’t enjoy this.”

 

Erwin’s hips slowed and finally stopped. Levi grew more concerned when Erwin withdrew fully and sprawled out on the mattress beside him. “You’re right, I don’t,” Erwin sighed.

 

Levi stretched out his tired muscles briefly and then sat by Erwin’s hip, facing him. “Then what’s going on?”

 

Erwin’s fingers traced circles through the sweat on Levi’s thigh. “Why are you keeping things from me, Rivaille? Don’t you trust me?”

 

“Do you think I’d come back to your bed over and over and let you dominate me if I didn’t trust you?” Levi scolded quietly. Erwin continued to stare at him and Levi ran his fingers through his hair. “I trust you, Erwin. But you could end up dead just as easily as I could. I’m storing the money for Eren in case things go badly. If all of us end up dead he’ll be able to survive without relying on any political group.”

 

“You don’t want him tied to the Survey Corps the way you were tied to your parents’ actions,” Erwin surmised. Levi nodded. “Will you even let him become an initiate?”

 

Levi shrugged noncommittally. “I don’t know. I hope he doesn’t but I won’t force a decision on him.”

 

Erwin reached up and hooked a hand on the back of Levi’s neck, dragging him down into a kiss. Levi’s eyes flashed open in surprise even as he saw Erwin’s sliding closed. They rarely kissed, and when they did it was about dominance instead of affection. But Erwin’s lips were soft and welcoming, yielding to Levi in a way Erwin never was when they fucked. Levi kissed him back despite his confusion and touched Erwin’s jaw when they separated.

 

Wanting to break the tension Levi didn’t understand, he forced himself to smirk. “So are you going to finish what you started or will I need to take care of myself?”

 

Erwin’s eyes flashed and he surged forward. In a duel Levi would’ve parried and knocked Erwin away but now he let Erwin tackle him backwards and pin him to the mattress. Levi was expecting Erwin to slide back in right there and gave a grunt of surprise when Erwin gripped his hips and flipped Levi over onto his stomach. Erwin spread Levi’s cheeks and pushed his cock in with slow certainty, Levi still slicked with lube and precome. Levi clenched his eyes closed and moaned into the blankets as he felt Erwin bottom out, rutting against Levi’s prostate while also forcing Levi’s cock against the mattress with maddening pressure.

 

Levi squirmed just to feel Erwin’s weight holding him in place. His orgasm built so quickly that Levi could only give a sharp cry as his body jolted, his seed staining Erwin’s sheets. Erwin stilled but remained buried deep as Levi’s body loosened and his ears rang. “You went too fucking fast,” Levi complained, struggling for air.

 

“I am nowhere near finished with you,” Erwin promised, sinking his teeth into the skin below the back of Levi’s neck to leave a mark that would definitely linger. Levi gave another weak cry as he felt his body shudder with pleasure and he smiled greedily against the blankets.

 

#

 

“But why so _early_?” Eren whined, dragging his bag behind him as he followed Levi down the hall.

 

“We have a long way to go,” Levi explained, seeking patience. “We’ll be riding all the way to the wall and back today.”

 

“The outer wall?” Eren gaped at him. “ _Really_?”

 

“Not if you don’t pick up your feet,” Levi nudged him, relieved when he finally got Eren into the dining room. There weren’t many people up yet; just the cooks preparing the meals. Since nothing was ready yet Levi just grabbed them some bread rolls, jam and juice and set everything down on the nearest table. Neither of them were particularly hungry this early in the morning but they ate enough to at least avoid getting hungry before they reached the wall.

 

Levi packed more food for lunch and dinner in case they took longer getting back and then got Eren back on his feet. They made their way out to the stables and Levi forced Eren to help tack the horses even though Eren could only do so much with his short height; the kid could learn to get used to a bit of hard work. Erwin already knew that they were heading out today so when the horses were ready Levi didn’t inform anyone other than the gate guard. He boosted Eren up and then mounted his own horse and together they headed beyond the castle walls.

 

With his squad Levi would be able to reach the wall in about two hours. However, Levi didn’t want Eren falling off his horse if they galloped so they stayed at an easy canter, enjoying the fields and the warming sun as it rose into the sky above them. It took three hours to reach the outer wall but they saw it long before then, the stone reaching high into the sky.

 

Levi was accustomed to the sight of the wall now, having been coming here every few months to store any extra supplies and money that wouldn’t be missed. It felt like a completely difference experience now though with Eren staring up at the growing wall with wide eyes. Levi smiled in amusement when Eren nearly toppled from his horse as he kept leaning back to watch the wall as they approached. “It’s not going anywhere,” Levi teased, which had Eren blushing and grinning at the same time.

 

“But it’s so _big_! My district was near the outer wall but even then I was never allowed to get this close!”

 

“Well you’re about to get closer,” Levi said, pleased that Eren was so excited. “We’re going over.”

 

“ _No way_!”

 

Levi dismounted from his own horse and walked over to Eren’s, holding his arms out. “C’mon.”

 

Eren reached forward and slid into Levi’s arms, Levi setting him on his feet. Levi was already fully dressed in his Manoeuvre Gear but he checked the buckles and straps to make sure everything was secure while Eren did up his own Gear. Levi saw him fumbling a bit but didn’t offer to help, knowing Eren would ask for help if he needed it and also wanting Eren to learn for himself. Levi tied up the horses and filled the essentials in a small pack, leaving the rest in the saddlebags.

 

“Done!” Eren proclaimed, holding his arms out.

 

Levi untwisted one strap across Eren’s chest and then buckled it again. “This will be just like in the forest by the castle, except I want you to pay extra close attention. If you see or hear anything odd you tap me on the shoulder.”

 

“Is it dangerous?” Eren fidgeted anxiously. “What’s beyond the wall? No one’s ever told me.”

 

“We don’t really know what’s beyond the wall since everyone who was alive when it was built is long dead. Some myths talk about giant monsters they called ‘titans’. Others just talk about how the King wanted to rule without interference from anyone else and had the walls built to keep his people in and everyone else out.” Levi told Eren. “We don’t know for sure since no one has traveled very far beyond it and come back. Though we do know that there are occasionally some bandits and animals we don’t see in here. So yes, it could be dangerous, but that just means we need to keep our guard up. And I want you to pay close attention to the route I take, okay?”

 

Eren nodded. “Okay.”

 

Levi knelt down and let Eren clip himself to Levi’s Gear. “Ready?”

 

Eren held tightly to Levi. “Ready!”

 

Levi sent out his grappling hooks to latch onto the wall and hoist them both up. As soon as their feet left the ground Eren released his familiar shout of delight. Encouraged, Levi climbed the wall faster until wind whipped their hair around. When they reached the top of the wall Levi landed solidly and knelt again, letting Eren stand as they both looked out at the world beyond the walls. Few had ever seen this sight.

 

“ _Wow_ ,” Eren breathed. “It’s beautiful.”

 

“It is,” Levi agreed easily, watching the horizon for a long time. Mindful of the time, Levi got Eren to hang on tight and hook his legs on Levi’s hips again. “Do you want to go over the edge slow or fast?” he asked.

 

“Fast, fast, fast!” Eren chanted and laughed.

 

“You trust me?”

 

“Of course!”

 

Levi felt his stomach flip-flop even though they weren’t even descending yet. “Good. Then hold on tight.” As soon as he was certain that Eren was secure and that his Gear was in perfect working order Levi took a dash for the edge and jumped off. Eren screamed and clutched at Levi tighter and Levi quickly sent out the grappling hooks, attaching to the wall and slowing their descent. Adrenaline was coursing through his veins but he was more concerned about Eren. “Are you okay?”

 

Levi shouldn’t have been concerned. “Again, Levi! Again!”

 

Happy to oblige, Levi released the hook and let them plummet again. The wall was so high that they could freefall for a few good seconds before the ground began growing to meet them. Levi released a hook to slow them on the wall and then sent out a second hook to latch onto one of the taller trees that bordered the wall. They swung in a low arch away from the wall and into the trees and Levi used their momentum to continue forward, flying through the forest with Eren yelling happily on his back.

 

They sailed through the trees for at least ten minutes, Levi taking the most direct route to his destination that he knew would be easiest for Eren to remember. When they arrived at a large clearing in the forest Levi set them down on the ground and kneeled until he heard Eren unclipping himself from Levi's Gear.

 

Levi remained kneeling and caught Eren's hand, pulling him forward to stand in front of him. "Eren, listen to me because this is very important." Eren frowned and nodded. "I know you're not going to like hearing this but you know how dangerous my job can be, and I won't lie to you and tell you there's no chance of me ever getting hurt or killed."

 

"I don't like this talk," Eren cut him off, his bottom lip jutting out.

 

"I know," Levi rested his hands on Eren's shoulders. "I don't either. But I care about you, kid, and I'm not going to leave you unprepared. Which is why I've been storing some of my extra money and supplies out here. If anything happens to me..." he trailed off, his heart clenching as Eren blinked a few tears free from his eyes. Levi brushed them away and put on a brave smile. "Not that I'm planning on it. But just in case, you can come back here and get everything you need."

 

Eren sniffled and bit his lip. It was clear that he was doing his best to match Levi's brave face, to lock away the tears. "I don't see anything here," Eren's voice broke.

 

Levi swallowed thickly and held his arms out, pulling Eren into a hug. He had taught Eren enough about maps and tracking that he would be able to follow Levi's instructions as long as he remembered them. "From here you head east for another ten minutes," Levi whispered in his ear. He highly doubted anyone would've been able to follow them from inside the wall but there was no knowing who was listening from beyond the wall. "You'll find a brook that travels south. Follow it until you see a cliff face covered in vines. If you look closely, you'll find where you can walk through the vines. Did you get that?"

 

"Yeah," Eren mumbled.

 

Levi turned his head, offering his ear to Eren. "Whisper it back to me."

 

Eren relayed the directions back to Levi, including the route they had followed to get here when Levi prompted him. Levi nodded his approval and was about to stand up when Eren's arms tightened around him. And then, lightning quick, Eren kissed Levi's cheek. He couldn't help it; Levi felt his cheeks warm. Levi wasn't accustomed to these affectionate gestures, not sharing them with anyone since he was a child and hugging and kissing his parents. It was nice though, even when Eren pleaded in his ear. "Don't die."

 

Levi just held Eren in his embrace. He didn't know what the future held and he didn't want to lie. Eren seemed to understand, his pleas falling silent. Levi felt bad for bringing up the topic but he knew it was important. Still, now he wanted to focus on cheering Eren up again. "How about we head back? We can have lunch up on the wall. You can enjoy the view," he petted Eren's hair as he spoke.

 

" _We_ can enjoy it," Eren muttered, eyes dull.

 

Levi didn't want to keep them on the ground where they could get ambushed any longer than necessary so he was momentarily forced to ignore Eren's sad mood. Levi encouraged Eren to clip onto his Gear again and took off as soon as Eren was secure. The ride back through the forest was pointedly silent, and although Levi thought Eren might be crying, it was impossible to tell with the wind buffering against their faces.

 

Up on the wall Levi set down and Eren unclipped himself without words. "Lunch?" Levi tried. Eren merely shrugged, staring out to the horizon. Beyond the forest there were fields, and endless mystery waiting further on. Levi sat down and opened his pack, pulling out the food he had packed. "Eren, come sit with me."

 

Eren ignored him for a minute and then turned. Levi didn't argue when Eren sat in his lap rather than beside him. Together they broke off pieces of bread to munch on, sipping from two bottles of water. Eren was still quiet and Levi didn't know what to say. For a while that felt okay; silence between them was a comfortable experience. But Levi was still worried, and echoed Eren's earlier words to catch the boy's attention. "It's beautiful," he said, also staring at the sunlit horizon.

 

Eren leaned back against him and sighed, sounding content. "Yeah, it is."


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Note:** Another very short Erwin/Levi smut scene, a conversation about Eren's feelings, and an introduction of some new characters.

“No, I’m not telling you who the information leak is,” Erwin said again, not looking up from his book.

 

“So you’re admitting that you know,” Levi pointed out.

 

“I’ve known for months,” Erwin confessed.

 

“And they’re still running around out there spilling who knows what information.”

 

“Levi, you’re missing the point,” Erwin scolded. “An information leak is only dangerous if you don’t know who they are to censor yourself, or if they know that _you_ know. With the way things are right now they think I’m none the wiser and I can feed false information into the Military Police.” Levi looked away, feeling properly schooled. Erwin’s eyes softened. “Have I ever given you a reason not to trust me?”

 

“No,” Levi said simply, because there was no argument.

 

Erwin set his book down and stood from the couch. “Let’s go to bed.”

 

“It’s only three in the afternoon,” Levi raised an eyebrow.

 

“It doesn’t need to be night time for me to make you call my name,” Erwin smirked and disappeared into the bedroom.

 

Levi trailed behind him. He had noticed that they were having sex with increased frequency but made no comment, not opposed to the increased days of pleasure. Levi stripped as he went and lay back on the sheets lazily, watching as Erwin peeled off his own clothes and grabbed the lube from the bedside drawer. Levi was surprised but not unhappy when Erwin’s lips mapped Levi’s neck and chest while his fingers spread him open, and Levi felt himself shivering as his cock swelled.

 

Erwin was always gentle when he pressed in the first time, which was oddly endearing. Today Erwin’s thrusts remained slow and undemanding even after Levi had adjusted, his hips rocking against Levi. Erwin had just the right angle for his cock to nudge against Levi’s prostate, making quick work of getting Levi to pant and cling to the sheets.

 

He didn’t think anything of it until Erwin leaned forward and kissed him solidly on the mouth. Suddenly everything felt different, the uncertain brush of their lips highlighting the sway of their hips and the ease of their moans. Levi put a hand against Erwin’s chest and pushed slightly, forcing their lips apart. “What the hell are we doing?”

 

Levi couldn’t remember the last time he had seen Erwin look so unsure. “I don’t know. Making love?”

 

Levi gave him a look. “That is the stupidest thing you’ve ever said to me.”

 

Erwin sighed and withdrew, which wasn’t exactly what Levi had been hoping for. Levi’s body clenched, feeling empty. “It’s hard to explain,” Erwin ran his fingers through his hair. “I barely understand it myself. You know I care for you just the way you are; you’re my closest friend and I’ve never wanted more from you.”

 

Levi tried to not be too accusing. “’ _Making love_ ’ is definitely more.”

 

“I know.” Erwin looked at him slowly. “I knew after everything you lost you would probably never fully open yourself up again. But now I see how open and affectionate you are with Eren and I wanted to be a part of that.”

 

Levi exhaled heavily, not knowing what to say. He cared about Erwin and wanted to make him happy; of _course_ he did. It wasn’t that he was against kissing or the gentler sort of fucking he had already grown accustomed to sharing with Erwin. It was just that the open affection Erwin was looking for didn’t come naturally to Levi. It was easier to keep his heart at least somewhat protected, to not grow too attached in case everything he cared about was stolen away again. Eren seemed to be his only exception that came easily, for whatever stupid reason since Eren was less able to protect himself and keep himself alive than Erwin was. But maybe with some effort Levi could make Erwin an exception too.

 

“We can try,” he offered. Not exactly the most encouraging words, but Levi wasn’t one to lie just to make someone feel better.

 

“We don’t have to—”

 

Now Levi was a bit impatient. It was easier to just act and follow the rhythm. He cut Erwin off. “Just fucking kiss me already and get your damn cock back inside me.”

 

As Erwin descended on him Levi was struck by the thought that Erwin really was a beautiful man. Levi skimmed his fingers over Erwin’s shoulders and down his back as their lips met again, tentative at first. The kiss grew more heated when Erwin guided himself back inside Levi but despite the heat, there was still a gentleness to the locking of their lips. As Levi’s body tumbled over the edge he arched up to mould his body to Erwin’s, relishing in their closeness as Erwin spilled his own seed deep inside Levi’s body.

 

#

 

Shortly after Eren turned eleven it was time for the ritual of taking new recruits beyond the wall. The youngest trainee was seventeen now, and the rest were older. They had all completed three years of training so far and had one more year to go. No one could become a full official member of the Survey Corps until they traveled over the wall. The normal routine was that the group of trainees along with a few higher-ranking members would head out and camp beyond the wall for a week, exploring to learn more and testing their abilities against any dangers that might appear.

 

Levi was usually one of the higher-ranked members who went, mainly because he was one of the only ones to volunteer. Another was Hanji since zhe was always happy for the opportunity to explore more, teach the trainees, and collect samples and resources to bring back. The others always varied but this time Mike, Petra and Gunter would be joining them. Petra had told Levi that she hadn’t been beyond the wall since her initiation and wanted to experience it again, and Levi guessed that Gunter was coming along just for the adventure.

 

A part of Levi had wanted to hide this from Eren, except he knew there was no way to keep Eren from knowing when Eren took part in a lot of the training and would also question why Levi was gone for a week. The discussion went about as well as Levi was expecting, with Eren shouting his demands to join the expedition and then sulking for hours when Levi didn’t budge on his decision. Levi briefly attempted to reason with Eren; to explain that just because Levi had begun teaching Eren how to fight with a dagger didn’t make him a professional with a sword, and also that Eren had no training with his own Gear. Eren would hear none of it and promptly stormed away.

 

Levi figured that was the end of it, judging by the fact that Eren avoided him for the next two days while everyone was preparing their travel bags and getting everything ready. It wasn’t the sort of goodbye Levi wanted between them but Levi was also low on patience after Eren’s tantrums anyway. Perhaps a week away would be good for both of them, and make Eren realize that just because he was Levi’s exception didn’t mean he got _everything_ he wanted.

 

Everyone had gathered in the courtyard, bringing out their horses and getting their saddlebags packed with supplies. It was early in the morning but already relatively warm, and everyone was chatting with quiet excitement as they waited for the last few stragglers to finish up and get ready to go. Levi was standing between Hanji and Mike, watching silently while Petra and Gunter walked through the group of trainees to make sure they had everything they needed.

 

Levi didn’t look over when he heard feet approaching; he was already familiar with Eren’s gait and knew enough to tell he was angry. Eren reached Levi and stood directly in front of him, glaring daggers. It wasn’t a formidable display by any means; despite Eren’s recent growth spurt he only reached Levi’s chin. On top of that Levi couldn’t find the motivation to be anything other than annoyed. It was obvious to him that Eren had been riling himself up into a frenzy long before confronting Levi.

 

“I’m going,” Eren snarled.

 

Levi’s face remained blank. “You’re not.”

 

“I am!” Eren shouted, drawing attention.

 

Levi gaze darkened; he didn’t want to have the trainees see a spat between them. “You’re not coming and that’s final.”

 

“This is so fucking unfair!” Eren snapped. Hanji spoke up, trying to scold Eren on his language but Eren yelled over zher. "I should be able to go too!"

 

"You don't have the training to go," Levi reminded him again, keeping his voice forcefully calm. "You don't know how to properly handle a sword and you haven't even been fitted for your new Manoeuvre Gear yet after your growth spurt. You would only hinder the expedition."

 

"But I've already been over the wall! I know more than them," Eren pointed back at the group of trainees who were all staring now.

 

"What happens if we get attacked?" Levi posed the question.

 

Eren spun back to face him. "You could carry me like normal."

 

"And if there are wounded?" Levi asked Eren seriously. "You expect me to leave a wounded soldier behind because you insisted on coming despite not having the proper Gear to take care of yourself. Would you force me to make that choice, to leave one of my men behind?" Eren opened his mouth but hesitated. "That's how I know you're not ready to go. It's because you're being a spoiled brat and I won't let you put anyone else in danger just because you don't know how to think about anyone other than yourself," Levi said harshly.

 

Eren sniffled and stared at the ground. "I hate you," he whispered weakly.

 

"Good," Levi barely managed to keep his own voice from wavering. "Then you'll enjoy a week without me around."

 

Eren sniffled again, louder this time, and swiped away a tear angrily. Then another voice caught their attention. "It's better to leave you home if you're just going to _cry_." It was Jake, who had learned to hold his tongue around Levi during the years of training but still seemed to have a bad habit of not knowing how to act nicely towards anyone who didn't have direct authority over him.

 

Levi had his mouth open to tell Jake off but everyone else seemed to react first. Hanji gave a shout of indignation at the same time as Mike's booming voice called out, "That's enough."

 

Eren was already halfway across the courtyard in his rage. "At least I can fucking fight! If they won't take people who would hinder them then I guess they're just taking you along because they feel bad!"

 

"What did you say to me?" Jake's face went red. A few of his friends tried to grab at Jake's arms to hold him back but Jake shrugged them off and stormed away from the group to meet Eren halfway across the courtyard. "If you think you fight so good then show me!"

 

Eren had already spread his feet into a fighting stance, raising his fisted hands. Before either of them could move an inch closer Levi was between them, his cloak rustling and then settling. Jake noticeably paled. "Get back to your horse before I shove you right up its ass," Levi's warning was deadly. Jake didn't even waver as he turned and rushed back to the group. Eren knew he was in trouble and shrunk in on himself the second Levi turned to look at him. "Eren, come."

 

He left no room for argument and led Eren away across the courtyard back towards the edge of the castle. When they stopped Eren was still looking down at the ground, kicking a loose pebble with the toe of his shoe. "You know I'm better at fighting than them," Eren muttered sullenly.

 

"That's not the point." Levi sighed in aggravation. "You shouldn't show off your skills. The best advantage you can have is letting your enemy underestimate you because it means they won't have their guard up. It'll be easier to beat them." Eren nodded his understanding but sniffled again, ducking his head down further to hide his tears. Levi was angry but not heartless and he knelt slowly to seek Eren's gaze. This was important. "But I want you to know that if you ever have to really fight, if your life depends on it, you fight until you're the last one standing."

 

Eren nodded again but the tears were falling in fat drops. "You embarrassed me in front of them."

 

Levi grimaced. "You embarrassed me too. The way you act reflects back on me."

 

"You called me a spoiled brat!" Eren accused.

 

"Because that's how you're acting," Levi shot back, although less angry now than he was before with everyone watching. "I'm not trying to be mean. I don't want you coming because I'm thinking about your safety and the safety of the rest of the group."

 

"I would rather be with you than be safe," Eren grumbled.

 

"And I would rather have you safe than be with me," Levi said even though the thought of being permanently without Eren made his throat tighten. "Although preferably I can have both, so do I get a hug before I go?"

 

Eren hugged Levi stiffly. "I'm still angry at you."

 

"That's okay," Levi rubbed Eren's back but let the boy pull away after a moment. "Just take care of yourself."

 

"I will," Eren sighed heavily and walked into the castle without looking back, not bothering to stay long enough to watch the group leave the gates.

 

A part of Levi felt like he should pursue Eren and talk things through but they were already behind schedule and this would make leaving a little easier. He knew Eren didn't hate him but the anger would make the week apart pass more easily. And hopefully when Levi returned all would be forgiven, the way things always were when Levi returned from a mission away from HQ. He would get a tight hug and then get Eren sitting in his lap for the rest of the evening telling him stories about what had been happening around the castle.

 

"Ready to go?" Mike asked when Levi approached.

 

Both he and Hanji were giving him a concerned look that Levi didn't acknowledge. "Yeah, let's go."

 

Petra and Gunter joined them then, also watching Levi until they realized that he wasn't planning to say anything further about Eren's behaviour. All five of them pulled themselves onto their horses and watched the trainees do the same. The group of new recruits had already voted on everyone's roles, designating the person in charge of the map, the compass, directions, supplies and defence. Although Levi and the other higher ranking members would be there in case they were needed, the point of this expedition was for the new trainees to work together as a team beyond the safe walls of the castle and the territories they knew.

 

The trainees led the way out of the gate and into the wide open fields. They chose a quick pace but the ride towards the wall was a relaxed one. Everyone chatted amongst themselves while Levi hung back, not in the mood to talk until his anger slowly faded away. It wasn't like he wasn't going to miss Eren while they were apart, but he knew he had made the right choice in telling Eren to stay. Eren would get his own chance to join the expedition if and when he officially became a trainee as well. Something Levi dreaded since he knew the dangers it would introduce Eren to, though he had already accepted how likely it would be for Eren to join officially. Eren had grown up with the Survey Corps, just as Levi had; he didn't know anything else.

 

No one approached him for the entire ride to the wall, which Levi appreciated. The route they were taking was more indirect than the one Levi had taken when leading Eren beyond the wall nearly two years ago. While Eren and Levi had only gone over the wall for a short time and had been able to tie up their horses to wait, there was no way this large group could leave all their horses tied up in the wilderness for a week. They would either get stolen, attacked or starve.

 

Instead, Myran, who had set out their course and had the map in his hands, was leading them further east along the wall. The Survey Corps didn't always go over the wall but it also wasn't infrequent, and years back they had gotten the smart idea to set up a stable. The building was hidden both by the shadow of the wall it was built against and the forest it was built in, trees tall and thick to block out the sun. It was a much better place to leave their horses and cross over the wall, rather than conspicuously travel through one of the four massive gates built around the outermost wall where the Military Police could track them.

 

There were always a small group who lived at the stable, and who were in charge of taking care of the horses whenever the Survey Corps left them there. Two families: husbands and wives and two kids each. The last time Levi had been there the kids had been about Eren's age but now they were teenagers, strong girls and boys who knew how to approach the horses and lead them firmly to the stables to be untacked as the trainees filed in through the trees.

 

Everyone untacked their own horse and then led them to the wide paddock. Once the horses had been dealt with, everyone sat down to a bowl of hot stew cooked over an outdoor fire. It would be their last meal to enjoy that they didn't have to prepare themselves for the next week until they returned back to HQ. Finally feeling a bit calmer with a two hour ride between himself and Eren, Levi sat down beside Hanji and Mike at the fire.

 

He watched Petra and Gunter walk among the group of trainees making sure they were all prepared until Levi's attention was caught by Hanji's words. "You'll need to be careful with how you treat him."

 

"Who?" Levi grunted.

 

"Eren," Hanji said.

 

"Why?"

 

Hanji rolled zher eyes. "He has a _massive_ crush on you." Mike nodded sagely between them.

 

Levi's mouth gaped slightly. "No he doesn't. He's _eleven_."

 

"Which is right around the time when we start to notice that certain special people make our heart flutter in stupid ways. Not to mention other bodily reactions—"

 

"You're implying that Eren is going to start wanking off thinking about me?" Levi cut zher off.

 

"If he hasn't already," Mike said simply.

 

"Experimentation is a normal part of growing up," Hanji reasoned.

 

"I don't need the sex talk," Levi huffed. "I was a teenager too, in case you've forgotten. But you're wrong. Eren doesn't have a crush on me."

 

"You don't find it odd that he always stays close to you, and touches you a lot?" Hanji leaned closer, studying Levi over the rims of zher glasses.

 

"With a group of shitheads like them being closest to his age?" Levi pointed to the group of trainees a short distance away. "No, I don't. Once they graduate into full members and our next group of trainees start they'll be closer to Eren's age. He'll gravitate to them."

 

Hanji opened zher mouth to argue further but Mike rested a hand on Hanji's shoulder and cut zher off. "It's not his fault, Hanji. He can't see the way Eren looks at him."

 

Feeling distinctly uncomfortable now, Levi frowned. "Are you also forgetting that Eren is twelve years younger than me?"

 

Hanji shrugged. "What about you and the Commander? He's nine years older than you."

 

Levi noticed Mike looking away but didn't comment on it. "You don't need to stick your nose into _everything_ , Hanji," Levi said.

 

"Don't worry; it's not obvious," Hanji assured him. "Petra and the others definitely don't know."

 

"I don't give a shit who knows," Levi snapped, which wasn't entirely true. Levi wasn't a person who enjoyed having his private life picked apart. But he trusted Hanji and Mike; they had been through a lot together over the years and Levi knew they wouldn't judge him. "Going back to your first comment; even if Eren _did_ have a crush on me, how do you think I should treat him differently? He deserved that reprimanding this morning."

 

"I'm not saying he didn't," Hanji said. "I'm just trying to make you realize that he might take criticism more harshly since he likes you so much. Not to mention the fact that you don't discourage the physical contact between the two of you. He's going to get confused about what's appropriate."

 

"So I'm not allowed to hug him anymore in case he gets a boner and has to go jerk off in a corner," Levi deadpanned.

 

"Things are going to get complicated for the two of you," Mike said, which wasn't a strict 'no'.

 

"Not to mention when you'll have to have the sex talk with him," Hanji pointed out.

 

"You have the talk with him then if you're so concerned," Levi said. "Let your parental instincts loose. You're already teaching him a lot from your books anyway."

 

Hanji punched him on the arm. "There's no way you're forcing me to have that conversation."

 

"It's probably for the best anyway," Levi teased. "You'd scare the kid shitless, no doubt. You'd go into _way_ too much detail."

 

Hanji smiled sweetly. "Enjoy the talk whenever it comes up."

 

"I can handle it," Levi said, more to himself. He hadn't really thought about having 'the talk' and decided he would wait until Eren brought it up. It would be awkward, sure, but nothing too horrible. For now it was easier to push all thoughts of Eren's sexual urges out of his mind and finish his stew, knowing they would be heading over the wall soon. Though he had to admit that after his talk with Hanji and Mike, Levi was a bit relieved to have a week away from Eren in an attempt to avoid any confusion from Levi's sudden urge to over-think every interaction he had recently had with Eren.

 

#

 

The week beyond the wall was, for the most part, successful. They all crossed over the wall and slipped into the forest for cover. It was a good hour's horse ride west to the clearing Levi had taken Eren to two years ago and he knew that no one would get close while they were on foot. They had plenty of air canisters to use for the Gear but everyone knew not to splurge by venturing too far from the camp they set up on the forest floor.

 

Lessons continued but were more hands-on for the week. The trainees were split up into smaller groups who rotated in shifts. Some remained at camp with Petra and Gunter to keep watch and protect their supplies, others would venture out with Hanji to learn more about the land and help zher collect samples to take back at the end of the week. Levi and Mike were in charge of teaching everyone how to hunt, which was a vital part of living beyond the wall. There were enough supplies to keep everyone alive but the extra meat from their kills was what kept them strong.

 

The only real challenge they faced was one early morning when fog blanketed the ground and they heard the distant call of wolves. Most of the trainees woke up jittery, though a few had to be shaken awake. Levi remained on his perch in the tree overlooking their camp where he had been carrying out his watch while everyone else slept. He drew his swords and sat quietly, casting his hearing out to hear the breaking of branches or the rustling of leaves.

 

A few of the trainees were grumbling and talking among themselves and Levi was grateful when Mike gave them a swat on the back of the head each to shut them up; Levi would not have been pleased if he had to go down there himself. Another wolf's cry echoed from far away, though a second one answered back, much closer and on the other side of their camp. Levi was perturbed; if the wolves were planning to attack then they wouldn't be giving away their location while surrounding the camp.

 

Some trainees remained on the ground along with Mike and Petra, while the rest followed Gunter and Hanji into the surrounding trees. The cries of the wolves drew closer on every side, a third one joining in. Everyone had their swords out now and pointed them at the surrounding brush, waiting for signs of movement.

 

A twig snapped loudly a short distance away on the opposite end of the camp from where Levi was crouching. Many heads turned, swords being raised, and that was when Levi saw it. Directly below him a small hand reached out from the brush, grabbed one of the trainee's Gear that had been discarded for sleep, and disappeared. On Levi's left and right he saw two more hands snatching two more sets of Gear.

 

Levi gave a shout to catch the attention of the group. It was Mike's and Petra's eyes he caught first. "It's people!" he said before pointing in both directions. Then, trusting them to know how to act without being told, Levi took off in the opposite direction into the trees to pursue the thief closest to him. Levi had speed with his Gear but the thief could weave in and out of the trees and brush more easily, and for a minute Levi worried he had lost track of the person.

 

He landed and listened closely, tuning out the frenzy behind him back at camp. The thief must've stopped as well judging by how quiet the forest was, but if it came down to a test of patience Levi knew he would win. As he suspected, the thief inevitably got fidgety and a bush rustled to Levi's left. Levi took off on instinct, closing the distance between them almost instantly. The thief barely managed to get untangled from the branches and make a quick dash before Levi was upon them, tripping them and sending them tumbling across the grass with a cry.

 

Levi hit the ground running, crossing the distance between them and pointing the tip of his sword at the thief's neck. That was when he got a closer look and realized that the person on the ground was only a boy, his face young and his eyes spilling tears freely. The boy was tall and lanky but Levi guessed that he was probably around Eren's age, or just slightly older. He had a long face, dark hair and green eyes. He was similar enough in appearance to Eren that Levi felt his blade waver for an instant before he forced himself to focus.

 

The boy lifted his hands in surrender, the stolen Gear falling to the grass. " _Please_ ," he begged.

 

"Why were you trying to steal that?" Levi pointed with his second blade to the Gear. "Who are you working with?"

 

"Please don't kill me," the boy sobbed. "I had to!"

 

"That's not an answer," Levi said, pressing the tip of this sword closer against the kid's throat.

 

The rustling of more leaves gave away the approach of another person before they got close enough to Levi to pose any sort of threat. "Reiner, _don't_!" the boy on the grass screamed brokenly at the same time as Levi lifted his second blade, aiming it at the heart of a second boy. He stumbled to a stop mere inches from Levi's blade, his hazel eyes skirting from Levi to the boy on the ground. This one looked young as well, though his broad shoulders and short-cropped blond hair made him appear more imposing.

 

"Let him go," the blond boy demanded, voice sharp with anger or desperation or both.

 

"After you answer my questions," Levi told him, his swords no longer wavering. "Who are you working for and why were you trying to steal those?"

 

The blond boy was still holding his own stolen set of Gear, and Levi was slightly surprised when he threw it to the ground, entirely uncaring. "We don't fucking care about it. Just let Bertholdt go or I'll fucking kill you!"

 

"Big words for someone with a sword pointed to his heart," Levi pointed out. "If you take one step closer this sword will slip between your ribs and I'll be dragging it out of you."

 

"Leave him alone!" the brown haired boy spoke up this time, sounding truly distraught.

 

"You're both so fucking panicky. Just calm the fuck down," another voice, this one female, spoke from the trees. Out of the corner of his eye Levi saw her, a tiny girl with blond hair that fell over one eye but left the other piercing blue eye visible. The look on her face was warning enough, the drawn bow and arrow in her hands only an added threat. "Listen, asshole," she continued to stare Levi down. "You're going to let both of them go or I'm going to bury this arrow in your skull."

 

"I'd love to see you try," Levi said. She clenched her jaw and pulled the bowstring tighter. "Prove to me that you're not just a scared little girl with a weapon that's far too big for her."The bowstring _twanged_ but Levi was prepared and raised one sword. The arrowhead shattered on the flat edge of Levi's blade, the rest of the arrow scattering. No time to celebrate, Levi returned the tip of his sword to Bertholdt's throat. "Impressive," he was willing to offer.

 

"I could say the same for you," the girl said blandly even as she reached into her quiver and knocked another arrow. "But I'd just _love_ to see you try to block every arrow I have. Or you could just let us go."

 

"I can't let you go with that Gear," Levi told her, seeing the third set of Gear attached to her hip. "I'll hunt you down and even if you buried your arrows in my chest someone else will come after you. I can promise you that."

 

The girl studied him, reading the truth in his eyes. Then she looked down and unhooked the Gear from her belt, dropping it to the ground. "Keep it. We didn't want your shitty contraptions anyway."

 

"Annie, they'll kill us," Bertholdt whispered.

 

Levi turned back to him. " _Who_?"

 

"We'll be fine on our own," Annie scolded the boy into silence. "They won't be expecting us back for a week anyway. Now, are you going to let us go, shortie?" she looked back to Levi.

 

"Look who's talking," Levi shot back.

 

Annie actually smirked. "I'm an eleven year old girl. What's your excuse?" Levi scowled. "Just let my boys go and no one gets hurt."

 

Levi pondered it for a moment then made his decision. He kept his swords raised for protection but took a step away from the two boys. The blond one, Reiner, rushed forward and offered a hand to Bertholdt, who took it and allowed the other boy to pull him to his feet. Their hands remained clasped as they ran into the cover of the brush and out of sight. Levi returned his gaze to Annie, who was still watching him. "You could tell me what's going on," Levi said. "We might even be able to help."

 

"No one can help us," Annie told him and, without another word, disappeared into the forest.

 

Levi could've pursued them but he didn't. Instead he collected the three sets of Gear and headed back to the camp. Everyone pointed swords at him until they realized who it was. Levi dropped the Gear to the ground and let the three trainees who had lost their sets edge forward to collect it sheepishly. "We're going back to HQ. Pack up," Levi said to the camp. They weren't supposed head back until tomorrow but Levi needed to talk with Erwin about what he had seen.

 

Everyone rushed to do as ordered, Levi quickly packing his own bag before returning to his perch on the tree to oversee the camp and listen for any approaches that never came. The three kids must've been alone, and from the conversation it seemed like they wouldn't be returning to whatever group they hailed from.

 

Levi looked up when Mike landed in the tree beside him. "Did you see them?"

 

"They were just kids," Levi said, returning his gaze to the commotion below. "They got away from you and Petra, and the others."

 

"They were fast little buggers. And they know a lot more about how to hide in the forest than we do," Mike admitted. They were silent for a moment but Levi could feel Mike's gaze on him. "You let them go?"

 

"Yeah."

 

"Why?" There was no accusation in Mike's voice, only curiosity.

 

Levi thought about it. "I'm not sure. One of the kids... He reminded me of Eren." Mike gave a hum and Levi's grip tightened on his swords. "I was weak. I shouldn't have let them go."

 

"They're kids," Mike reasoned. "What are they going to do?"

 

"It sounded like others knew we were here, and sent the kids here to steal some of our Gear," Levi said. "They gave up the Gear to stay alive but they were talking like they'd get killed if they went back to their group empty-handed. I even offered to help," Levi remembered with slight disbelief.

 

"Of course you did," Mike said, not sounding surprised at all. "You're not a heartless man, despite the way you often act. It seems like they're in over their heads."

 

"They thought they'd manage on their own," Levi mused.

 

"Let's hope they're right," Mike said. Levi couldn't help but agree with him, though he wasn't expecting it.

 

"I need to speak to Erwin as soon as we get back."

 

Mike was still watching him, though he finally looked away. "Yes, the Commander will be glad to see you back."

 

Levi's eyebrows furrowed, though he said nothing else on the matter. Shortly thereafter everyone was packed up and ready to go. They fell into formation and passed through the trees quickly, reaching the wall and scaling it with record speed. Levi remained on top of the wall while everyone else climbed up and over, heading back down to reach the stables a short distance away. He remembered again the fear in that boy's eyes – Bertholdt, the blond boy had said – and imagined that same look on Eren's face. Today the horizon beyond the wall was not a beautiful sight to Levi, and it left him only with the urge to see Eren again and hold him in his arms.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: Mentions of Eruri in this chapter but nothing explicit. And maybe, just maybe... Eren makes a (possibly brash) move ;-)

Levi was shocked to see Erwin blocking Eren's punches in the courtyard when they arrived. At first Levi worried that some argument had broken out, but as Levi rode through the gate both of them looked up at him and smiled widely. Levi felt his heart jolt slightly; he couldn't remember two people ever looking so happy to see him before. Levi forced himself to keep his face calm as he dismounted and walked his horse over to the two of them.

 

Erwin rested a warm hand on Levi's shoulder and smiled at him. "It's good to have you back. Eren was just showing me some of the moves you taught him recently."

 

Levi turned to Eren and noticed immediately that Eren's eyes were lingering on Erwin's hand resting on Levi's shoulder. His smile had fallen. Maybe Hanji and Mike hadn't been entirely wrong about Eren having a crush after all, but Levi wasn't going to let that stop him from hugging the kid when he was so glad to see him. "Do I get a hug or do you still hate me?" he teased lightly.

 

Eren's eyes snapped back to Levi and his smile returned. Levi knelt down, feeling Erwin's hand slip away a moment before Eren's arms were around him. Eren was hugging him so tightly that it was hard to breathe. Perhaps the hug was too close, filled with too much desperation, but again Levi saw in his mind's eye the tip of his sword pointed at the neck of a boy who looked too much like Eren and he didn't care. There was time for clarifying the distance between them later. For now he just hugged Eren tightly in return.

 

When they pulled apart Levi noticed Hanji watching them from a short distance away. Levi expected to be scolded for his actions and was confused when instead of disapproval he saw a small, warm smile on zher face. Giving up on trying to understand Hanji's thoughts, Levi stood up again and looked to Erwin. "I need to speak with you."

 

"You just got back," Eren whined.

 

Levi glanced back at Eren. "This is important. I need to update Erwin on our time away. But I want to hear about your week over dinner, okay?"

 

"Okay," Eren agreed dejectedly, though Levi appreciated the fact that Eren seemed to be trying to act more selfless. "I can take care of your horse."

 

"Thanks." Levi handed the reins over and ruffled Eren's hair, which brought back the tiniest smile.

 

"We'll join you soon!" Hanji shouted across the courtyard, closer to the stables with zher own horse. Mike, Petra and Gunter nodded beside zher.

 

Levi walked at Erwin's side back to Erwin's rooms in silence. As soon as the door was closed behind them Erwin spun and pressed Levi against the wall with his body, cupping Levi's jaw with one hand as he kissed Levi deeply. Erwin's other hand held the arch of Levi's lower back and for a moment Levi leaned into it, enjoying how easy it was becoming to give in to Erwin's passion.

 

He knew the others were probably on their way though, and there was a lot to catch up on. Levi pushed at Erwin's chest slightly and Erwin detached himself, respecting Levi's silent request for space. "I didn't know I could miss you more," Erwin said thoughtfully as he slipped his fingers through Levi's hair.

 

"There will be plenty of time for that later," Levi ducked out of Erwin's reach and sat down heavily on the couch, glad to rest his legs which were aching after the ride back. "Tell me what's been going on the last week. I wasn't expecting to see you sparring with Eren when I got back."

 

"He seems to like competing with me," Erwin said with a chuckle, sitting down on the opposite side of the couch since they knew they would have company soon. "Eren seemed pretty dejected at first and I thought keeping him active with practice would help distract him – and me – until you returned."

 

"Hanji seems to think he has a crush on me," Levi informed him.

 

Erwin didn't look surprised as he considered the words. "It wouldn't be that farfetched. Remember how you were with me when I finally won your trust and you started getting older."

 

All at once Levi _did_ remember. He remembered the first morning he had woken up with his cock hard in his pants, how he had fumbled with his shaking hand and bit his pillow as he imagined Erwin's hand instead of his own. He also remembered the way any rare touch from Erwin had felt electric and left his body thrumming for the rest of the day, and how his eyes had tracked Erwin around a room. The thought of Eren having a similar reaction to Levi had him shifting on the couch uncomfortably.

 

"I guess I'll need to put some distance between us," Levi said.

 

"Maybe that would be best," Erwin shrugged. "But who knows. As long as you're both comfortable then does it really matter? Don't lose your close connection just because of a natural phase. It'll hurt Eren if you withdraw."

 

Levi was considering moving across the length of the couch to straddle Erwin's lap but was interrupted by the door opening. Mike was first into the room, closely followed by Hanji, Petra and Gunter, who closed the door behind him. Mike took the remaining spot in the middle of the couch and the other three grabbed the surrounding chairs.

 

They took their time recounting everything that had happened since leaving the castle, updating Erwin in chronological order. It was as they began to discuss earlier that morning when their reports differed, everyone having their own experience with the three thieves. However, Levi's interaction with them had been the most in-depth and everyone listened closely as he recounted the showdown.

 

"It's curious that a group clearly knew you were camping in those woods and yet they just sent three kids to steal some Manoeuvre Gear," Erwin spoke up when everyone was finished speaking. "Any previous experience we've had with bandits beyond the wall was strictly violent. If they had a means of communicating with us they made no effort to do so. And to know that their target was our Gear..." Erwin tapped a finger against his lips in thought.

 

"The kids didn't really seem to care or even know exactly what the Gear was," Levi explained. "But it sounds like whoever they were supposed to report back to cared quite a bit, judging by the assumed threat of death."

 

"Thank you for your reports, everyone," Erwin said after a long moment of silence. "We will need to complete some research and consider whether we wish to organize another expedition beyond the wall. For now get some rest. Training will begin tomorrow again as normal." Everyone nodded and stood but paused when Erwin spoke again. "Mike, Levi and Hanji, a final word please?" Petra and Gunter looked back but exited after a moment, knowing when they had been dismissed. Everyone else sat back down. "Hanji, was there information about this in any of the books?"

 

"Not the ones I've had time to read yet," Hanji said. "Though remember that the books are old. A lot can change beyond the wall without us knowing. It's not like anyone is sitting on top of the wall watching and documenting everything they see."

 

Realization dawned on Levi. He had always wondered where the books had been hidden that had caused the destruction of Eren's district. He had asked Erwin multiple times in the past but had never received a straight answer other than the fact that the books were in Survey Corps' possession. " _You_ have the books?"

 

"Some of them," Hanji admitted. "It would be stupid to keep them all in one place in case the castle was taken or somehow destroyed, especially since they're all so dense that it can take a month just to read _one_ of the damned things."

 

When he looked over Levi saw that Mike didn't look surprised or confused at all. "You knew too?" Mike shrugged his admittance and Levi's eyes fell on Erwin. "Why was I not informed?"

 

"I thought you might not want to know, with your closeness to Eren," Erwin said, no apology in his voice.

 

Levi barely swallowed down his anger, betrayal knotting his stomach and making him feel sick. These people were the ones he trusted more than anyone else in the world, and now he knew that they had all been withholding a secret from him. Levi couldn't remember the last time he had felt so alone and on the outskirts. "Fine. Well, since I have nothing to contribute to this conversation, I'm leaving."

 

"Levi, sit down," Erwin ordered.

 

Levi merely gave him the finger and continued out into the hallway. He considered going down to the courtyard to find someone to spar with to work out his anger but he didn't want to be around anyone right now. Levi would no doubt get asked questions he didn't want to answer, and he also wouldn't risk unleashing the full force of his anger on someone unsuspecting and unprepared. So he returned to his room and flopped down on his bed, glaring at the ceiling as he forced himself to breathe deeply.

 

He was nowhere close to being calm when he heard the far door opening. "Piss the fuck off before I shove my sword up your ass!" he spat, still staring at the ceiling.

 

A moment later Eren popped his head in. "Was that directed towards me?"

 

Levi groaned. "You know, when you started living with me I promised myself I'd try to avoid swearing in front of you."

 

Eren snorted and approached the bed slowly. "Well that was a foolish promise."

 

"Eren, I'm not going to be good company right now," Levi said tightly. "I'm pretty furious at the moment."

 

Eren sat on the bed and watched him for a moment, and then he lay down across the bed, his head resting hesitantly on Levi's stomach. "This may sound odd, but I'm glad to hear you say that."

 

Levi looked down at him in confusion. "Why?"

 

"Because I get really angry sometimes too," Eren whispered, staring at Levi sadly. "No one else seems to lose control like I do. I thought something was wrong with me."

 

Levi reached down and slid his fingers into Eren's hair, twining soft brown curls around a finger. He felt Eren shiver and lean into the touch and Levi remembered Hanji's warning, but right now he didn't care. "Nothing's wrong with you. You've just been dealt a shitty hand in life."

 

"I know it's been years but I still think of mom sometimes," Eren said. "I couldn't help her and it makes me so _mad_. I couldn't do _anything_."

 

"I understand," Levi promised, continuing to stroke Eren's hair. "Remember when I told you about my parents?" Eren nodded. "When the Military Police came to our home, they made me watch as they killed my parents, and there was nothing I could do. I still think about it sometimes, and I still get angry."

 

"You're normally very calm though," Eren frowned in confusion.

 

"It's important to remember that while anger is normal, you need to make sure it doesn't consume you," Levi said. "You're still young but you will learn how to harness your anger and use it as a driving force, rather than a destructive one."

 

"What if I can't?" Eren muttered.

 

"You'll come to me and we'll work through your anger together," Levi tugged lightly at Eren's hair and then continued his petting. He was surprised; just these few minutes with Eren had made Levi's blinding anger fade to a dull annoyance. "Your anger may fade with time," he added. "I get angry less often now than I did before you started living with me."

 

"Does that make me special?" Eren wondered. It was the blush on Eren's cheeks that warned Levi that this might be edging towards something inappropriate. Not wanting to say the wrong thing, Levi ended up not saying anything at all. Eren's smile wavered but he nudged Levi's hand, hinting for Levi to continue his hair petting. "Who were you angry at before?"

 

"Erwin," Levi said. "I just found out he's been keeping some things from me." Eren frowned and despite Levi's lingering anger he felt the urge to also defend Erwin. "He's a smart man. He usually knows when someone needs to know something and when they don't. But this time I wish he had told me. I'll have to talk to him about it."

 

Eren rolled over to hug Levi's middle. "Not yet."

 

Levi took a deep breath in and out, not knowing how to act. A part of him wanted to pull Eren into his arms the way he had when the boy was younger, comforting him and taking his own comfort in return. There was a chance that Levi was just over-thinking this; Hanji and Mike's words scaring him away from something that didn't even exist. But whether or not they were right, it seemed safer to leave at least some distance between himself and Eren now.

 

"Not yet," Levi agreed. "If I went to see Erwin right now I'd punch him in the mouth. How about you tell me about your week?"

 

Eren kept his arms wound around Levi, his head rising and falling with Levi's deep breathing. For an hour they talked. First Eren told Levi about what things had been like at the castle, complaining about how boring and quiet it was with everyone gone, and then talking about Erwin offering to train Eren for the week. When Eren was done his stories he returned his gaze to Levi, demanding to hear about the week beyond the wall.

 

Levi was halfway through telling Eren about the three kids in the woods when he heard the door opening again. Erwin glanced in and as he looked the pair of them over Levi felt distinctly guilty even though he and Eren really weren't being inappropriate in any way. "Sorry to interrupt," Erwin gave a tight smile. "Can I borrow Levi for a minute?"

 

Eren's arms tightened almost painfully around Levi, and he looked wounded when Levi sat up and gently pried him off. "Eren, how about you go down to the dining room and see what they have to eat? I'll meet you for dinner soon."

 

"Fine. I know when I'm not wanted," Eren huffed and stood up, storming out of the room and slamming the door behind him.

 

Levi rubbed his temples but didn't pursue Eren. Instead he watched Erwin approach the bed and sit beside him. Levi had to purposefully sit straight to avoid leaning towards Erwin as the mattress dipped below his weight. "Rivaille," Erwin murmured as he caressed Levi's check.

 

Levi leaned away from the touch. "There's no way I didn't want to know about the books," Levi said harshly. "Tell me the real reason you hid this from me. Not the bullshit you said in front of the others."

 

Erwin's mouth was a grim line. "I feared your bias towards Eren and your sympathy for his loss would make you act irrationally." Erwin thought Levi would've destroyed the books in a rush of vengeance. "And I thought you not knowing would save you from some guilt."

 

"I would've rather known," Levi told him.

 

"I understand. I'm sorry." As he said this Erwin leaned closer, seeking Levi's lips. Again Levi tilted his body back. Erwin's eyes were sad when they met Levi's. "Forgive me, Levi."

 

"I do forgive you," Levi said, because it was true. His pride and trust had been shaken but he knew Erwin only did what he thought was best and never acted out of malicious intent. And despite Erwin's obvious intelligence, even he was entitled to making a few mistakes. "But that doesn't mean I want to kiss you right now."

 

"I could make it up to you," Erwin said as his hand slid up Levi's inner thigh.

 

"I don't want that either," Levi ignored the tingling in his groin and barred Erwin's hand from getting any closer to his cock. "Right now I just want to spend an evening with Eren. It's been a week."

 

"Alright," Erwin finally withdrew. "Just come by when you're ready. I want you to begin reading through the books as well. We need to know as much as we can after the encounter you had this morning."

 

Levi nodded and let Erwin leave without another word. Then he headed downstairs to meet Eren in the dining room like he had promised. The next two days Levi spent between training and Eren. During the days they worked on Eren's sword fighting techniques and kept his hand to hand combat in good form, and in the evenings they relaxed. They played cards with Petra and the others and on Levi's second night back he took Eren out beyond the castle walls. In the darkness they lay in the grass together looking up at the stars, Eren curled up against Levi's side to keep warm against the chilled breeze.

 

After a long time of comfortable silence Levi spoke. "When you're fourteen are you going to become an initiate and join the Survey Corps?"

 

"Of course," Eren said with surprise, sitting up slightly to look at him.

 

"You don't have to, you know," Levi said. "You can stay at the castle even if you don't join."

 

"Why wouldn't I want to join?" Eren asked. "I want to be with you, and I also want to fight for the outer territories. Everything I want is in the Survey Corps."

 

Levi closed his eyes. "I promised your mom I'd keep you alive and safe. But I can't guarantee that if you become a trainee. I can't let you get hurt."

 

"Then continue teaching me to fight and protect myself," Eren insisted, leaning closer until his warm breath was caressing Levi's cheek. "Because I'm going to be with you no matter what."

 

Without any warning Levi felt trembling lips press against his own. Levi's eyes flashed open in shock, his heart stuttering as he sat up in a rush and pushed Eren away. "What the fuck?" Levi cursed under his breath, confused and feeling his stomach roil with self-hatred. Because Eren was fucking _eleven_ and he definitely shouldn't be wanting to kiss Levi. And besides that, Levi felt the heavy realization that he couldn't have reacted more poorly when he heard Eren sniffle.

 

"I'm sorry," Eren whispered brokenly, whining as sobs took over. "Please don't hate me."

 

Pushing his own discomfort aside, Levi pulled Eren into his arms and held him the way he had all those nights when they were both younger, new to each other but sharing trust and comfort, before the boundaries got blurred and thoughts and affections got complicated. "Shhh, it's okay. I could never hate you."

 

"You pushed me away," Eren sobbed, body shaking in Levi's embrace.

 

"You surprised me," Levi tried to explain without making Eren feel any worse. After all, Levi wasn't the right subject for Eren to direct these feelings towards, but Levi didn't want Eren thinking that feeling this way in general was _wrong_. "And it's not appropriate for us to kiss. That's for adults who like each other very much."

 

"I _do_ like you," Eren insisted.

 

"You're eleven," Levi said. "You shouldn't be kissing old men like me." He tried to keep the tone lighter but it didn't do much to ebb Eren's tears. "Trust me, as soon as we take new recruits the trainees will be closer to your age and you'll forget all about me. These feelings are normal, and it's fine to want to kiss someone you care about. It just can't be me."

 

"Why not?"

 

"Because I'm a lot older than you," Levi struggled to find the right explanation. "You're not an adult until you're eighteen and I don't want you to regret your actions just because I'm the only one around."

 

"So I need to wait until I'm eighteen," Eren surmised.

 

"That's not the point," Levi sighed. "I want you to have these experiences with someone your own age."

 

"That's not fair. There's no one my age and even if there _was_ I wouldn't like them as much as you," Eren said. He sniffled again. "This sucks. I shouldn't even be hugging you."

 

"We can stop if you want to," Levi offered, knowing he had to respect Eren's personal space now.

 

Eren hugged him tighter and, greedily, Levi hugged him back. "That's the last thing I want. It just all sucks. Does this mean I can't talk to you or sleep with you anymore?"

 

"You can _always_ talk to me, Eren," Levi said strongly. "Even about this, or anything else, okay? It may be awkward and I can't promise to know the right things to say, but we'll figure it out together."

 

Eren nodded, his face still tucked against Levi's neck. "You didn't say anything about sleeping."

 

Levi bit his lip but knew this was the right decision. "I think it would be best if you got your own room. You can take one of the spare rooms in our hallway for now, though I think when the new trainees come in you'll want to join them to be part of the group."

 

Tears and snot were smeared on his skin but Levi didn't push Eren away. "I shouldn't have kissed you. I ruined everything."

 

"Nothing is ruined," Levi told him. "I'm still going to train you. We'll still eat dinner and play cards together, and we can read stories before bed. In two months you'll be twelve and I'll be teaching you how to use Manoeuvre Gear like I promised. The only thing that's going to change is we won't accidentally kick each other in our sleep anymore."

 

Eren laughed quietly and nodded again. Levi smiled sadly and kept him close. "One more night, Levi?" Eren begged.

 

"One more night," Levi agreed. "It's too late to move you into a new room anyway. Come on, let's go back. It's getting cold."

 

Eren clung onto him for another minute and then finally let go and stood up. Levi stood up as well and brushed the grass from his clothes. Eren reached for Levi's hand and then yanked his hand back, shame on his face. Levi wanted to hold Eren's hand and tell him everything was okay but it would be unfair to both of them. Instead he rested a light hand on Eren's back and steered him towards the castle gates and inside. When they made it to Levi's rooms they took turns using the bathroom. There was tension in the air when they both slipped under the covers and they lay down on exact opposite sides of the bed, but even then Levi was still glad to have Eren there. He knew that the room would feel too quiet and empty once Eren left, but he figured that they all had to make sacrifices.

 

#

 

Levi woke up slowly, feeling slightly dazed and overheated. He was on his stomach with his face buried in the pillows, and as he gained consciousness he became aware of the weight on his back. Levi grunted and tried to roll over but Eren was a dead weight, deep in sleep and snoring quietly by Levi's ear. Despite falling asleep on opposite sides of the bed Eren must've rolled over in his sleep, curling up against Levi and ending up a little too close.

 

As Levi lay there debating the pros and cons of lying there versus shoving Eren off, Levi noticed something prodding against his thigh. It didn't take long for Levi to figure out that it was Eren's erection, especially when Eren's hips began a light sway and Eren moaned breathily in his sleep. Feeling his face flush and not at all ready to be humped through Eren's wet dream, Levi slid out of bed and escaped to Erwin's room.

 

The curtains were still drawn and Levi could hear Erwin's even breathing, the man still asleep. Levi didn't want to wake Erwin, both because it was early in the morning and because he wasn't ready to talk about what had just happened, so he slipped under the blankets as slowly and quietly as he could. Erwin groaned and rolled over but didn't wake up and Levi breathed a sigh of relief.

 

He spent a long time staring at the ceiling, cycling between trying to think through everything that had changed in his relationship with Eren during the last day and trying to avoid thinking about it at all costs. Levi didn't want to remember the press of Eren's shy lips, or the rut of an erection Eren had no control over.

 

When a hand touched his hip Levi jumped and looked over, meeting Erwin's watchful eyes. "Have a lot on your mind, my friend?"

 

Levi grunted and threw his arm over his eyes. "Talk about an understatement." Erwin didn't push him to talk but Levi knew he was waiting to listen, and eventually Levi spoke. "Eren kissed me last night and this morning I woke up with him sleeping half on top of me with an erection."

 

He didn't remove his arm covering his eyes; he didn't want to see Erwin's expression. "How did you feel?"

 

"How did I _feel_?" Levi repeated, suddenly glaring at Erwin. "How the fuck do you _think_ I felt? He's _eleven_! I don't even want to _think_ about Eren's sexuality. I didn't think I'd _have to_ until he came to me for the inevitable sex talk, and then I figured I could just tell him the basics and send him on his way. Now everything's so fucked up."

 

"You're angry," Erwin observed, his hand still resting on Levi's hip but was not pushing further.

 

"Yeah, I'm angry," Levi huffed. "It used to be so easy to just be close to Eren, talk to him and hold him close because it was all innocent. Now I don't know how to fucking act in case I confuse the boundaries between us. I..." Levi frowned. "I'm going to miss how things were."

 

"I think anyone who raises kids feels that way when things begin to change. It's normal when a child grows up. It's how I felt when raising you. Though you were older than Eren when I brought you in to the Survey Corps so the differences weren't quite as drastic," Erwin said. "Just remember that even though you will both change over the years, as will your relationship, you will never _lose_ each other."

 

"I have to ask, Erwin," Levi hesitated. "When you were raising me, were you ever attracted to me? You kissed me for the first time on my eighteenth birthday but that desire couldn't have manifested the second I was of age."

 

"I was," Erwin confessed. "When you were seventeen and in your last year of training before becoming an official member of the Survey Corps I saw the man you were becoming and I wanted to be closer. It didn't help that you started flirting with me in that horribly unsubtle way of yours," Erwin teased and held Levi's hip tighter. "I held myself back in the hopes that you'd find someone closer to your age but yes, I looked forward to your eighteenth birthday in case you felt the same. I hated myself for it and tried to distract myself with work, but sometimes love is a persistent bastard."

 

Levi stared at him, grateful to Erwin for the wave of relief he had given Levi. "Erwin, I want you to kiss me until I can't breathe and then I'm going to ride you." He didn't want to remember Eren's kiss or erection. Levi wanted to reconfirm his attraction to Erwin, to trace his muscular arms and chest as Levi rose and fell on his long cock. Levi wanted his lips bruised by Erwin's passion, and for his body to remember Erwin's claim.

 

"Alright," Erwin agreed easily, and hooked a hand behind Levi's neck to pull him into an unforgiving kiss.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: Mikasa and Armin join the mix.

"Don't rush it," Levi scolded, watching from the ground as Eren took off into the canopy of trees with his Manoeuvre Gear. Eren had proven to be a natural at mastering the basics of the Gear, keeping his balance and learning to send out the grappling hooks in the direction he wanted while using his weight and gravity to travel around. The problem was that Eren was as impatient to progress with the Gear as he was with any other aspect of training, and while Eren could move with the Gear, he hadn't yet honed his reflexes to manoeuvre with instinctive speeds.

 

As it was, Eren wobbled as he attempted to make a sharp bank. Levi could predict what would happen next and was already in the air with his own Gear as he watched Eren's foot catch on a branch. Levi caught Eren halfway to the ground as he tumbled out of control, unable to orient himself in time to send out a new hook to swing out of his collision course.

 

"I'm fine," Eren squirmed out of Levi's arms the moment they touched down on solid grass.

 

Ever since Eren had kissed Levi a few months back, they had both physically withdrawn from each other. They still ate meals together, continued training and reading in the evenings as Levi had promised, but they didn't share as much physical contact. A part of Levi missed it; he missed the young boy hiding from the cruel world in the safety of his arms and taking comfort from his presence. But he knew the distance was easier for both of them and did nothing to reconcile it.

 

"No one is trying to kill you," Levi reminded him with slight aggravation. "Now is the time to go slow. Rushing won't make you learn faster. It'll just make you sloppy."

 

"I just want to be good enough to keep up with you," Eren sighed dejectedly, massaging his wrist where it had nicked another branch earlier. "I don't want to be the one holding you back when we go on missions."

 

"Missions are a long way off," Levi said. "And remember that I've been using this Gear for nine years already."

 

Eren's expression turned sour; their age difference had become a sore subject for him. "I don't like being left behind," Eren said stiffly. "You've been gone a lot."

 

That was true; Levi had already traveled back over the wall twice to search for any sign of the three children he had met, or any other nearby bandit groups. He had been unsuccessful and eventually turned his full focus back to training Eren, but he knew he could be sent out for more scouting at any time. Levi had joined the task of reading through the massive amount of books alongside Hanji, Mike and Erwin, scouring for any useful information. A lot of the facts were interesting but out of date, but Erwin seemed certain that they would eventually find something they could use.

 

The sound of hooves caught Levi's attention, and as he turned to see Petra riding towards them, Petra waved and shouted across the field. "The Commander summoned you!"

 

"Speaking of, it sounds like your boyfriend needs you," Eren mumbled.

 

Levi looked back at Eren. "What crawled up your ass and died?"

 

Eren wouldn't meet his gaze. "You used to call me your number one. Now you just spend all your time with Erwin. You should be spending your time with me."

 

"I'm sick of hearing this," Levi said. He had tried before to make Eren realize that Levi could care about more than one person at once but Eren refused to listen and just upped the attitude each time. Levi wasn't going to be guilted by some snot-nosed brat. "Next time you feel the urge to inflict your whining on the world, swallow your tongue. We'll be better off."

 

The look Eren shot him was half anger and half pain, but Levi refused to take it back. Eren wasn't even trying to understand, too bitter in his young heartbreak. "You're an asshole."

 

"That's not news, kid," Levi said and walked towards where their horses were tied up. Petra reached them then but didn't bother dismounting. "Does Erwin need to see all of us?"

 

Petra shook her head. "No, just you and Mike."

 

"Then do me a favour and deal with Eren," Levi mounted his horse swiftly. "I don't care if you keep training him or just take him back as long as I don't see him again today. Just make sure he gets back to the castle safely," he added under his breath.

 

"I hate you!" Eren yelled, not having moved from his spot.

 

"That line is getting old, Eren!" Levi shot back and kicked his horse into a canter, heading back to the castle before Eren could think of another retort. He pushed it out of his mind as he handed off his horse to one of the stable groomers and headed upstairs to Erwin's room. Mike was already there, dressed in uniform and Manoeuvre Gear and seated in the armchair by Erwin's side of the couch. Levi didn't bother sitting down at all. "Where to?"

 

Erwin didn't look caught off guard by Levi's assumption. "I need you and Mike to ride out to Aurich immediately. Hanji is pulling up the maps for you as we speak."

 

Levi didn't need a map to know the distance they would travel. "We won't reach the city borders before midnight."

 

"Which is why you're leaving immediately," Erwin said. "I've just gotten word that tomorrow morning the Military Police will be _relocating_ a lot of young, orphaned children," Erwin emphasized 'relocating'. "Basically between some of the more recent fighting and the food shortages in the north, there are a lot of kids falling into Military Police custody after losing their families. They don't want to share the resources of the inner cities so they're selling kids off to businesses; mines and the like." Erwin's voice always remained calm when briefing his soldiers, whether with good news or bad, but Levi didn't miss the haunted look in his eyes. "They're passing it off as helping the kids to get some 'work experience'."

 

"What's our approach?" Mike asked, standing from the armchair.

 

"It would be unreasonable to assume we could save all or even some of the children," Erwin warned. His face was a practiced mask of indifference. "Our goal is to get a hold on some of the business contracts so we can circulate them around the cities. They should have the King's seal. It'll put him under a lot of scrutiny while the Military Police scramble to make it look like a forgery."

 

"Covert?" Levi clarified.

 

Erwin looked at him. "Use your judgement. Remain out of sight until you have the documents, but if you want to make a statement afterwards you can unfurl your cloak. It's been too long since we've offered a serious presence. They need to remember that the two of you are still out there."

 

"Understood," Mike said, and Levi nodded his agreement. Erwin was still staring at Levi, his lips pursed slightly as his eyes skimmed down to Levi's own mouth.

 

Despite Eren's correct observation, Levi wasn't ready to do any kissing in front of Mike or anyone else. He merely gave Erwin a slight head tilt and then headed for the door, Mike on his heels. Hanji must've stopped the groomer from untacking Levi's horse because his horse was still saddled with Hanji standing beside it when they walked out into the courtyard. "I already packed saddlebags for both of you," Hanji told them as another groom led Mike's saddled horse up beside Levi's own. "There's food in there as well as maps, backup wire for the Gear, a few extra daggers—"

 

"Gee thanks," Levi rolled his eyes as he pulled himself onto his horse. His body was already a little tired from training that morning with Eren but he easily ignored it. "Why don't you bake a pie for when we get back?"

 

"I'll shit in it just for you," Hanji took a light swing at him.

 

"Anything would taste better than that cherry pie you attempted for Eren's tenth birthday," Levi said.

 

"It's the thought that counts and Eren agreed!" Hanji defended, hands on hips.

 

Levi cracked a smile and then looked over his shoulder, confirming that Mike had mounted his horse and looked settled. "Ready?"

 

Mike gave him a nod, getting a comfortable grip on his reins. "If we skip lunch we could make it there a little while before midnight."

 

"Good," Levi said and turned towards the gate. They both pushed their horses into a canter, knowing they had to make good time even if they didn't stop to eat. As they passed through the gate Levi saw Eren and Petra returning to the castle, and across the distance between them Levi's eyes met Eren's sad green ones. Levi said nothing and urged his horse into a gallop, not looking back.

 

#

 

Levi was glad that the mission only included him and Mike. He knew that he could trust Mike to act professionally and do everything he could to complete the mission. Levi also knew that Mike was one of the few people like Levi, willing to set aside food, sleep and comfort for the sake of the mission. It wasn’t even a debate when they arrived at Aurich that they would begin working immediately rather than sleep.

 

They led their horses quietly through the outer streets until they found a travel post specifically set up for travellers needing to temporarily tie their horses up before continuing on. The horses would be able to have some water and food from the containers under the post and though it wouldn’t be as warm or comfortable as a stable, they would get some rest while Levi and Mike were working.

 

Once that was complete Levi and Mike slipped into the shadows. On their journey to Aurich they had taken the time to study the maps Hanji had packed for them while the sun was still up. By now they had their path memorized and made quick work of crossing the city using their Gear to skip and sail over empty rooftops.

 

“It’s too quiet,” Mike observed.

 

Levi nodded, keeping his guard up. There was a chance that the Military Police had grown more confident since the Survey Corps had not been showing as much of a presence over the last few years. However, Levi would always prepare for the worst and only celebrate once they had the documents they needed and were halfway back to headquarters.

 

“If we’re fast we can get the documents before they even realize we’re here,” Levi said. He landed on the top of a wide chimney and Mike stood beside him, both of them watching the large town hall across the open town square.

 

“Do you think it’s time we raise a little hell?” Mike wondered. “As handy as it is seeing the Military Police get too comfortable, I don’t want them sleeping easy.”

 

“Documents first,” Levi said. “Once that’s secure we’ll decide.” They were a long way from home; they would need to make sure they could make it back safely with the documents in their possession. If the situation went sour they could always stage an attack at a later point to scare the shit out of the Military Police.

 

Having already discussed their plan on the long ride to Aurich, Levi and Mike took to the air again, approaching the town hall with caution. They spotted a few guards on the ground and surrounding roofs but it was nearing three in the morning by now and the guards were sleepy. Tired guards always fell into a pattern of observation and it only took a few minutes for Levi to find the gap in surveillance to slip through, Mike on his heels.

 

Levi always preferred to be out in the city rather than confined in a building since he couldn’t use his Gear indoors, but he knew that lingering outside the town hall would eventually get them spotted. He found an unlocked window and pulled it open, both of them sneaking inside the dark room and closing the window softly behind them. They had found one of the storage rooms marked on Hanji’s map, which was on the same floor as where important documents were stored.

 

They wove among the towers of boxes and avoided creaky floorboards as they approached the door leading to the hallway. At this point they were moving in mostly blind, having no idea how many guards would be posted outside. This was their only option though; spending too long outside the building would undoubtedly get them spotted.

 

The majority of this upper floor was storage and meeting rooms and Levi hoped that meant there would be fewer guards to run into than on the lower levels where guards patrolled and also ate and slept. Still, he pulled a pocket mirror from his pocket and met Mike’s gaze before carefully turning the doorknob. He opened the door a crack and used the mirror to peer down the hallway. He gave Mike a thumbs-up when he found the hallway empty and together they walked on light feet into the hall.

 

At the next corner Levi spotted two guards in his mirror, dozy but still conscious. He took a step back and raised two fingers, updating Mike without speaking. They couldn’t go a different direction; the two guards were posted right outside where the documents were being kept. Mike pointed at Levi and then at the door on their right, which led into an empty meeting room. Then he pointed back the way they had come.

 

Agreeing, Levi slipped into the meeting room and closed the door behind him. As he unsheathed a dagger from his belt he heard the purposeful creak of a floorboard and the murmured voices of the two guards questioning and pursuing the sound. Levi kept his breathing quiet as he listened to two pairs of feet moving closer and another creak of floorboards further down the hall as Mike drew them in.

 

Levi allowed the first set of feet to pass by and continue down the hall, but as soon as the second guard passed, Levi opened the door. One hand covered the man’s mouth to keep him silent while his other hand brought Levi’s dagger to the man’s throat. Arms already around the guard, Levi dragged him back into the meeting room. Even as the man struggled in his arms Levi heard another weak cry of surprise and then silence down the hallway and knew Mike had ambushed the second guard.

 

The blade of Levi’s dagger bit into the man’s skin lightly but Levi could feel the man’s tears on his hand. Did this man deserve to die? Maybe. But Levi didn’t know this man’s sins and he wouldn’t kill senselessly. Instead Levi smacked the hilt of his dagger against the man’s head, knocking him unconscious. Levi lowered him quietly to the ground and left him, re-entering the hallway in time to see Mike stepping out from a storage room down the hall.

 

Guards taken care of, Levi and Mike rounded the corner and stood outside the room holding their goal. This time there was less chance they’d be able to sneak up on anyone inside. Levi kept his dagger in hand while Mike drew his sword, holding it steady. Mike stepped in first, Levi protecting his back as they entered the room. It was a mixture of relief and letdown when they found only one guard in the room, snoring loudly with his feet up on the desk he was seated at.

 

Mike continued to search the room for traps or enemies while Levi approached the guard to see if he was actually asleep. The man was definitely asleep but Levi still found himself staring when he took in the guard’s face. Levi recognized this man from the battle in the Shiganshina District. Levi didn’t know his name or his official rank but this was the Military Police official Levi had heard shouting the order to begin burning houses.

 

Levi knew, logically, that this man was not solely to blame. Levi held his own heavy weight of regret for the destruction of Eren’s district. Erwin too, and everyone else who had continued to fight while ignoring the innocent civilians suffering for their war. But as Levi stared at this man’s face, relaxed with sleep, Levi could only remember Eren’s anguished screaming when his mother died with her arms around his young form.

 

His blade was against the man’s neck and slicing through flesh as easily as butter. Blood welled up as the man’s eyes flashed open, wide and scared as his hands clutched at his cut neck. The man could only release a terrified gurgling sound as he choked on his own blood, air not coming to his lungs. He stared at Levi and Levi stared back. Taking a life was never easy but Levi wouldn’t look away; this was a death he was willing to bear.

 

The man was dead by the time Mike realized what was going on and returned to Levi’s side. They both watched as the blood flowed and finally ebbed as the man’s hands fell limp at his sides. “Who was he?” was the only question Mike asked him.

 

“Someone from the Shiganshina District battle,” Levi said. Slowly he stepped back and wiped the toe of his boot against the carpet, removing the blood that had gotten on the leather where the man’s blood had pooled at his feet.

 

“I found the documents,” Mike spoke quietly, still focused on the mission. “But the lock will take me a few minutes to get open.”

 

Levi cleaned his blade and sheathed it. “We’re in no rush. I’ll listen for anymore guards in the hallway.”

 

He stood by the closed door and listened while Mike returned to the locked chest he had found in the corner of the room. Levi’s mind was kept forcefully quiet. Thoughts of Eren kept coming up unbidden but Levi ignored it and focused on making sure no other guards walked in on them. The building remained quiet and it didn’t take that long for Mike to get the lock undone, opening the chest. Mike beckoned for him and Levi walked over.

 

The chest was filled to the brim with rolls of tied parchment. “That’s a lot of kids they’re planning to sell off,” Mike said. Levi picked one up from the top of the pile and unfurled it. To his surprise, the name at the top of the contract looked familiar. _Mikasa_. Beneath her name someone had written her birthplace, Shiganshina District, and her birth date which proclaimed her to be the same age as Eren. How likely was it that there would be two girls named Mikasa from Eren’s district and the same age? “What’s wrong?” Mike asked.

 

“I think this girl was one of Eren’s friends,” Levi said, skimming over the rest of the contract. His eyebrows rose when he saw the starting price for her.

 

Mike was watching him. “What do you want to do?”

 

Levi didn’t personally know this girl; the sketch on the left side of the contract was unfamiliar to him. There was even a chance that it wasn’t the friend Eren had told Levi stories about. Levi’s eyes skimmed over the chest full of documents. He knew that there was no way they could save all of the children who would be auctioned off tomorrow; they couldn’t even save _some_. But they had two horses and if Levi didn’t even _try_ he wouldn’t forgive himself.

 

Erwin had given them permission to make a scene on behalf of the Survey Corps if they chose, but Levi still had to think about their primary mission first. “Before anything else we need to get these documents out and back to the horses. We know from the maps that the kids are being kept in the basement and there’s no way we could get in and out without cutting a lot of people down.”

 

“It’s only a few hours before the sun rises and the auctions will be beginning shortly after that,” Mike said. “We could come back in the morning and snatch her when they bring her out for the auction. The only issue is that they’ll be on high alert after they realize the documents are gone.”

 

“We’ll just have to be cautious,” Levi said as he knelt down beside Mike. “We know the Military Police won’t give up this chance to make so much money. They’ll draft new contracts to use and the auction will go ahead. And we want to show our presence anyway. We just need to make sure the kids don’t get hurt in the process.”

 

“Alright,” Mike agreed. “Let’s hurry up and get these scrolls flattened out.”

 

Together Levi and Mike unfurled all the parchment one at a time. They stacked each piece and slipped the piles into flat folders that would keep the paper from getting damaged. This way they would be able to fit a lot more paper into the bag Mike was carrying than they would if they left all the parchment rolled up. They wanted to make sure the contracts stayed in good condition so that the King’s seal and signature were obvious on the bottom of each page, approving this.

 

While they were opening up all the contracts Levi recognized a second name from Eren’s stories. _Armin_. “There are going to be two kids tomorrow,” Levi told Mike, appreciating that Mike only took time to study the sketch of the boy they would be trying to rescue before returning to his work, not questioning Levi or trying to talk him out of it.

 

When the chest was empty and the contracts were all packed away in Mike’s bag, they closed the chest and snapped the lock shut again. They returned to the first storage room quietly again and, after making certain that they wouldn’t be spotted, escaped through the window using their Gear and headed back towards the edge of town. They wouldn’t risk announcing their presence to an inn at such a late hour so instead they rode their horses out of town and settled a short distance beyond the city’s borders.

 

Dawn was only a few hours off but their adrenaline was fading and they took turns sleeping. Levi slept first for two hours and then Mike took his turn while Levi stood watch, waking Mike shortly after the sun rose. They ate their dinner for breakfast since they hadn’t taken the time to eat when they arrived at Aurich, and by the time they were done eating it was time to head back to the town square for the start of the auction.

 

“How overt do we want to be?” Mike posed the question.

 

Levi considered their options. “By now I’m sure they’ve found the guy I killed and that the contracts are missing, though I don’t know if they’ll be expecting us to come back. Let’s be cautious going in, but if we see a lot of guards looking for us and we know we won’t make it through unseen we’ll just go for it.”

 

“We’ll grab them and come back here,” Mike said. “We’ll ride until we’re back at HQ.”

 

“Agreed.”

 

They only made it halfway back to the town square when they caught sight of multiple Military Police members on rooftops up ahead. It looked like they had set up a full perimeter around the auction. There was a slight chance Levi and Mike might’ve been able to slip in through the barricades along with the crowds of business owners ready to make a purchase but it was slim. Besides, Levi was tired of hiding. He wanted to remind the Military Police that they truly had something to fear.

 

He caught Mike’s eye and they both landed just long enough to pull their cloaks on, deep green billowing out behind them and the Survey Corps emblem visible for anyone to see. Then they rushed forward as the town hall’s bell chimed eight, beginning the auction. Levi and Mike were far quicker than the Military Police they passed, leaving them all gaping and crying out in indignation as they struggled to catch up.

 

No one was able to catch them before they reached the town hall, and by then it was too late to stop them. Levi could see Nile, Commander of the Military Police at the podium but was more surprised to see Pixis, former Commander of the Garrison standing a short distance behind him. Levi had known Pixis had joined the Military Police when the Garrison official disbanded; Erwin had known him before and told Levi of Pixis’ struggle to choose which side would better protect the largest majority of citizens. Still, even though Pixis had chosen the Military Police, selling children didn’t strike Levi as something the man would condone.

 

Levi and Mike were spotted immediately as they stood tall on the nearest roof overlooking the whole square. Some of the Military Police guards approached with swords drawn but held back when Nile held up a hand to still them. That didn’t quieten the _boo_ s and hisses they received from the crowd below; to them, the Survey Corps were just here to spoil the fun.

 

“Leave them!” Nile shouted to his men. “Perhaps they are unable to find any new recruits willing to join them these days and must buy a few members of their own." Laughter rippled through the crowd. “Come down and let’s speak as reasonable men.”

 

“Because selling children is _reasonable_ ,” Mike shouted back.

 

“They’re orphans with nowhere to call home. We’re merely helping these children find employment opportunities,” Nile defended with a smirk.

 

“And lining your own pockets in the process,” Levi sneered. “Fuck this bullshit. We’re here for two kids and we’re not leaving without them.” It was frustrating to know he would be leaving many more children behind in a horrible situation but there was only so much he could do. He saw that Pixis was watching them but hadn’t moved at all.

 

“You consider kidnapping better?” Nile scoffed.

 

“Rescuing,” Mike shot back.

 

“Well aren’t you high and mighty,” Nile teased.

 

It made Levi clench his teeth together, seeing that Nile wasn’t scared of them – at least not showing it outwardly. He wanted to change that, to teach Nile a proper less in fear, but they had more important priorities now and he wouldn’t let Nile rile him up further. “What's it going to be, Nile?” Mike asked. “We’ll leave peacefully when you give us the two kids.”

 

Even across the distance of the town square Levi saw Nile’s eyes shifting. It was all Levi needed to dodge the first swing of the Military Police member behind him. The man had swung too widely and put too much force in his attack, leaving him open and off balance. It was near instinct for Levi to move into his personal space, burying his sword into the man’s stomach and sending him toppling backwards with a pained groan.

 

Levi turned back to the square, allowing his blood-soaked blade to glint in the morning sun. “My patience has worn out.”

 

“Enough!” Pixis spoke up before Nile could get a word out. Everyone fell silent. “You two,” he pointed at Levi and Mike. “Get over here. No one else move.”

 

Levi met Mike’s gaze, both of them weighing their options. Then they skirted around the edge of the square and landed on the far corner of the podium away from everyone else, their blades still drawn. Even though Nile was technically the only commander, everyone followed Pixis’ orders and didn’t move as Pixis led Levi and Mike inside the town hall building.

 

“These must be special kids if you’re killing for them,” Pixis huffed as they walked down the halls.

 

“We offered to leave peacefully,” Mike pointed out.

 

“And a man is dead anyway,” Pixis retorted. “You’re not faultless, you know. Our actions speak louder than our intentions. It is a problem I deal with as much as anyone else.”

 

“Of course you would disapprove,” Levi said.

 

“Yes, of course. I may be with the Military Police but my heart will always be Garrison. I just want to find a way for everyone to find peace.” They walked down two flights of stairs until they were in the basement, locked doors on both sides of the halls. “We are all fighting for what we believe in.”

 

“And selling kids is what you believe in now?” Levi studied the doors as they stopped walking. “Funny. I’ll be sure to tell Erwin his belief in you will reward him like diarrhoea.”

 

Pixis grimaced but did nothing more to defend himself. “Which kids are you looking for?”

 

Levi had purposefully not brought the contracts, not wanting to risk losing any of the documents. However, it had been easy to memorize the names. “Mikasa Ackerman and Armin Arlert, both from the Shiganshina District.”

 

Pixis raised an eyebrow but didn’t question their motivations. Instead he led them silently down the hall to one of the last doors on the left. He unlocked the door and pulled it open, glancing in. “Mikasa, Armin, there’s someone here for you.”

 

“I told you, we’re not going _anywhere_ with _anyone_ ,” a sharp female voice hissed from the room.

 

Pixis looked back to Levi and Mike, and Levi moved forward to stand in the doorway. It was so dark in the room that he could barely make out anyone inside. “Does the name ‘Eren’ mean anything to you?” he asked the darkness, needing to know if these were actually Eren’s friends.

 

“Eren?” a young boy asked hurriedly, hopeful.

 

The female voice talked over him. “He died a long time ago.”

 

“He didn’t,” Levi said. As his eyes adjusted to the darkness he could make out six small forms sitting in the room. All of the kids were quiet except for the two closest to the door, who edged closer into the light. The girl had long black hair and suspicious eyes, and the blond boy behind her looked younger and nervous. “I saved him after the battle in your district. He’s been living with the Survey Corps since then. Eren is the one who told me about you, and how I recognized your names.”

 

“How can we trust you?” Mikasa stared him down.

 

“You can’t,” Levi admitted.

 

“Then why are you doing this?” Armin wondered, studying Levi’s face with more open curiosity.

 

Levi wasn’t willing to confess how important Eren’s happiness was to him, and how much that motivated Levi’s actions. Besides, Levi wasn’t comfortable lingering here any longer than necessary. “Look, do you want to get saved or don’t you? Because we could easily leave and you’ll get sold off to some mine or abusive factory owner.”

 

“Mikasa, let’s just go. Even if there’s a chance—” Armin whispered.

 

“We’ll go,” Mikasa told Levi. “But don’t think for a second that you’re going to get a word of thanks. And if you lied about Eren being there I’ll make sure you live only long enough to regret it.”

 

Mike snorted and Levi remained silent, unconcerned and out of patience. He looked to Pixis. “When do the swords come out?”

 

“They won’t at all as long as you keep your own sheathed,” Pixis promised. “When I get you out of here it means no one else ends up dead. So take your kids and go. And pass along a message to your Commander,” Pixis said as he stepped back, giving Levi and Mike more space in the hall. “I’d like to share another game of chess with him someday.”

 

Levi frowned in confusion; he had heard some stories from Erwin about him and Pixis as younger men, but Levi had never heard of a relationship that included chess. Not knowing what to say, Levi merely grunted. Mike rested a hand on Armin’s shoulder to lead him down the hall and Mikasa followed behind them. Levi rested a hand on the hilt of one of his swords but didn’t draw it, trusting Pixis just enough to avoid further bloodshed.

 

Pixis trailed a few steps behind, making no move for his own weapons. Any time they passed a guard Pixis would wave them away, clearing the path. They were led out to a back door rather than returning to the crowded town square and Levi immediately tensed when he saw two Military Police members, one man and one woman, waiting for them outside. “They’ll escort you to the edge of the city,” Pixis said, though it was an obvious order.

 

“We don’t need escorts.”

 

Pixis’ hand rested heavily on Levi’s shoulder and squeezed. Levi didn’t wince but it took stubborn determination to keep his face blank. He wondered idly what Erwin would say about that game of chess when he saw the bruise on Levi’s skin. “It’s not your decision. Just go.”

 

Mike was watching him closely, waiting for a decision. If Levi lifted his blade now Mike would be at his side. But when Levi looked down he could see the fearful desperation in the kids’ eyes; even Mikasa, who seemed to have bravado to spare, was clenching her jaw in preparation to watch yet more violence. Levi removed his hand from the hilt of his sword and the tension faded slightly. “We’ll go.” Mike hoisted Armin up and although Mikasa sent Levi another warning look, she allowed Levi to pick her up as well. Then Levi turned his gaze to the Military Police, who were still standing at attention. “Don’t tell me you need directions.”

 

The woman scoffed and took to the sky, the man hanging back to keep Levi and Mike in his sight. With no reason to linger, Levi sent out his first grappling hook, following behind her. Mike and the other man followed behind them, and as a group of four they moved towards the edge of town. Levi noticed other Military Police watching them from nearby rooftops, though no one made a move towards them.

 

No one said anything when they reached the city’s edge, everyone studying one another and preparing for a last-minute attack. Then finally Mike took the first step backwards towards the forest and Levi matched him. The Military Police pair watched them until Levi and Mike slipped beyond the tree line, using the forest as shelter. Only when they were out of sight and jogging towards where their horses were tied up did Mike release a heavy sigh of relief. “That was easier than I was expecting.”

 

“No shit,” Levi said, more focused on putting as much distance between them and Aurich as possible. He wouldn’t feel safe until they were back at HQ, the castle walls around them.

 

“Are we really going to see Eren again?” Armin murmured shyly.

 

Levi chuckled breathlessly, his tension bleeding away at the sound of genuine excitement in the boy’s voice. “Yeah. If we make good time you’ll even have dinner with him.” Levi saw Mike smiling and slowly Levi felt his heart begin to thrum with an excitement to rival Armin’s. He wanted to see Eren’s reaction when he saw his friends again. As they reached their horses, on their way back to safety, Levi knew he had made the right choice in going back for the kids.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: The dreaded sex talk, among other telling moments.

Levi leaned against the doorframe and knocked on the door heavily. “Eren, I have two people here that you’ll want to see.”

 

“Fuck off!”

 

Levi closed his eyes and breathed through his aggravation. He had barely slept or eaten for two straight days and it was beginning to wear on him. “Stop being a shitty brat and come see your friends.”

 

For a moment Levi heard nothing beyond the door and he considered breaking the door down. Then he heard feet rushing closer before the door swung open. Eren’s eyes went wide and his mouth fell open as he gave a startled yell of happiness and then rushed forward to drag Mikasa and Armin into a tight hug. Mikasa and Armin hugged him back, the three of them sharing a tight embrace. Levi watched as he continued to lean on the doorframe, satisfied but too exhausted now to feel the elation the reunited children where sharing.

 

His mind and body were sluggish so Levi couldn’t react in time when Eren released his friends and instead spun on Levi. Eren’s recent growth spurt had put him at eye level with Levi now, and the kid had enough energy that his hug nearly lifted Levi off his feet. The hug squeezed the air from Levi’s lungs and all he had the energy to do was hug Eren back. “Thank you, thank you, _thank you_ ,” Eren breathed in his ear.

 

“What the hell?” Mikasa grumbled. “You were just swearing at him and now you’re hugging him?”

 

“Just because I’m mad at him doesn’t mean Levi isn’t my best friend,” Eren explained, somehow holding Levi even tighter. Having Eren’s arms around him finally assured Levi that he was back safe and could relax, and Levi felt himself slipping out of his professional fighting mindset that allowed him to push through exhaustion and discomfort to get a mission done. The shift must’ve been obvious because Eren clutched at him and asked worriedly, “Are you okay?”

 

Only then did Levi realize how much of his weight he was resting on Eren, trusting the boy to hold him up. Levi forced himself to pull away and hold his own weight up, ignoring his unsteady sway. “I’m fine. I just need some sleep,” he promised Eren. “That leaves you in charge of finding your friends food and somewhere to sleep.”

 

“Of course!” Eren said energetically. He was smiling but it was subdued by his obvious concern. “Are you sure—?”

 

“Fucking hell, just go and let me sleep in peace,” Levi groaned and walked the short distance down the hall to his own room. Before he made it to his door he felt arms around his middle, Eren giving him one final hug before releasing him. Again Levi was assured that he had made the right choice in going back, though for now all he could think about was his bed. While Levi brought Mikasa and Armin to Eren, Mike had gone to Erwin to offer up the documents and give a briefing of their mission. A more detailed report would be due tomorrow but now it was time for some well-earned rest.

 

#

 

Levi woke when he felt his mattress dip below someone’s weight. He grunted and rolled over, wondering if Erwin had come to visit him early and was confused when he saw Eren sitting hesitantly on the other side of the bed. “How did you get in here?”

 

Eren gave him a confused look in return and pulled out a key on a chain he had kept around his neck under his shirt. Levi hadn’t known that Eren kept it so close at all times. “You gave me this key to your room, remember?”

 

“Why did I give you a key to my room again?” Levi didn’t bother lifting his head from the pillows, knowing there was no threat from Eren.

 

“Because you kicked me out,” Eren said, trying to sound light and uncaring though the words still came out sounding a bit wounded.

 

“Right.” Levi already felt his eyes drooping closed again, his body nowhere near close to being caught up on sleep. If he had to guess, he suspected that it was only around dinner time, a few hours after Levi had arrived back with Mike and the kids. “And why are you here?”

 

“I know I’m not supposed to be here,” Eren spoke quietly. “I just wanted to bring some food and see if you were okay.”

 

“Who’s the adult here?” Levi grumbled. “You sound like me.”

 

“Yeah, well it goes both ways, doesn’t it?” Eren said. “You worry about me, and I worry about you.”

 

Levi hummed, too tired to argue the point right now. “Fine, you can stay.”

 

“Gee, thanks for the hospitality,” Eren said sarcastically. Levi’s lips quirked up with amusement, though he frowned when Eren spoke again. “I actually won’t be staying long. Mikasa and Armin still seem pretty freaked out so I don’t want to leave them alone. I knew they wouldn’t want to sleep with the trainees so I found them a room on the floor below us for now.”

 

Levi could feel his consciousness fading in and out as sleep tried to steal him away. “Good,” was all he managed to mumble.

 

Eren laughed quietly and the mattress dipped as he moved closer. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this tired and relaxed before. I should let you sleep. I just want to say thank you again. I thought I had lost everything of my childhood and that was it. I like it here with you and the Survey Corps but I’m so glad to see them again.”

 

Eren hugged him from behind, Levi still on his stomach. It was an awkward hug and Levi should’ve shrugged Eren off, especially when Eren lightly nuzzled his neck. But he was too exhausted to bother rolling over and merely spoke into the pillow. “You’re welcome.” Eren lingered and eventually Levi needed to break the moment. “Are you going to let me sleep or not?”

 

“Yeah, sorry.” Eren laughed again and pulled away. “And don’t forget to eat.”

 

Levi was asleep before he could think of a retort.

 

#

 

Erwin finished wiping his come from between Levi’s thighs and dropped the warm cloth on the ground beside the bed. Levi remained sprawled out as Erwin lay down beside him, wrapping an arm loosely around Levi’s middle. Levi stretched and felt his skin ache; Erwin’s mouth had left a collection of claiming marks across Levi’s chest and thighs. Levi wasn’t one to put himself needlessly at risk but he had to admit that he liked how possessive Erwin’s worrying made him when Levi returned home.

 

His thoughts drifted back to the report he and Mike had given Erwin before Mike had exited and Erwin had pinned Levi to his bed. He remembered the way Erwin’s eyes had narrowed when he saw the bruise on Levi’s skin from Pixis’ hand, and the way Erwin had kissed Levi until he was dizzy afterwards. It was reassuring to know that Erwin didn’t like sending Levi into that sort of danger, even though it wouldn’t stop him from sending Levi out again, or stop Levi from his duty to his commander and the Survey Corps as a whole.

 

“Your thoughts are always so heavy after we couple,” Erwin said as his fingers slid into Levi’s hair.

 

“Did you and Pixis used to play chess together?” Levi asked bluntly.

 

Erwin’s fingers stilled and then continued their soft stroking. “And your pillow talk seems incapable of improving.”

 

“When Pixis let us go he told me to tell you that he hoped the two of you could play chess again someday,” Levi said, studying Erwin’s face. “I didn’t know the two of you had been that close.”

 

Erwin sighed. “What do you want me to say, Rivaille? We are enemies now but yes, we were once close friends. Before the conflict between the Survey Corps and the Military Police grew so polarized it used to be that all recruits would train together. You only chose your faction at the time of your graduation. Nile and Pixis were both older than me but we all trained together.”

 

“And you were all friends?”

 

“Nile and I never got along,” Erwin admitted. “He was always lazy and arrogant. But Pixis and I were close. We were both more intelligent than the rest and we enjoyed trying to outsmart one another.”

 

“He said that his heart will always be Garrison,” Levi told Erwin. “And that he was just trying to find peace for everyone.”

 

“I believe it.” Erwin kissed the bruise on Levi’s shoulder as though forgiving it. “I could see how he might believe he has more chance of making a significant change from the inside rather than labelling himself an enemy that no one will listen to.”

 

Levi frowned. “Then why do we make ourselves enemies?”

 

“Because there needs to be a recognizable resistance,” Erwin explained. “People need to see that we believe so strongly that something is wrong and needs changing that we’re willing to fight and die for the cause. Our passion and belief is what makes some people consider the situation more seriously.”

 

“I don’t always like the way you think,” Levi confessed.

 

“I think this way because I must. No one else is willing,” Erwin said sadly. There was a heavy silence between them. “Does it make you regret coming to my bed?”

 

“No,” Levi said honestly. “But it’s discomforting to realize that I am only a pawn in your master plan.”

 

“If you were a chess piece you would be the queen, Rivaille,” Erwin said. “Powerful, deadly, and absolutely irreplaceable.”

 

Erwin’s fingers clutched at Levi’s side tightly, almost desperately. Levi sighed. “The queen is as much a pawn to the player as any other piece on the board.”

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

Levi finally looked over and met Erwin’s regretful gaze. “Don’t be sorry. I follow you because I trust you to be able to make the hard choices, to sacrifice what is necessary for the greater good.”

 

“You hold me in too high regard,” Erwin scolded. “I could never sacrifice you.”

 

Levi rested a hand on Erwin’s hand, hoping it was a comfort to the man. “You could if you had to, and I would forgive you for it.”

 

Erwin was clearly agitated, though his touch was gentle as he cupped Levi’s face and pulled him in for a deep, tender kiss. In that kiss Levi could feel the words they didn’t voice, declarations of love and long-winded statements of the other’s value in their life. It wasn’t something he was going to fight, and he closed his eyes as he kissed Erwin back.

 

#

 

Levi sat on the edge of the castle wall, watching the back courtyard. In the few months since Mikasa and Armin had been brought here Eren had taken responsibility for them. Levi had debated on training them alongside Eren but knew that Eren was too advanced in his training and that if Levi put them all together Eren would be bored and the other two would be overwhelmed. Instead Levi continued his training with Eren and in his free time, Eren taught Mikasa and Armin some of the basics.

 

Mikasa seemed to pick it up naturally, mimicking perfect form in her stance and movements. Levi wouldn’t be surprised if she eventually surpassed Eren in skill, and wondered how Eren would react to that since he was so competitive. Armin managed to keep up but would likely never be the strongest fighter. Levi wasn’t concerned. It was obvious to him that he was more like Erwin; strong enough to defend himself but with his brain as his main weapon.

 

For the most part Levi had stayed away from the two new additions. Armin seemed extremely shy and Mikasa was openly hostile. Not that Levi could blame either of them for their behaviour when Eren told Levi the stories he had heard when reconnecting with his friends. Apparently after the Shiganshina District had fallen and the Survey Corps had scattered, the Military Police and come in and scooped up any orphaned children left wandering the streets.

 

Both Mikasa's and Armin's families had survived the initial attack but had run into trouble later. On the edge of town, Mikasa's family wasn't involved in the fighting. However, once the district had fallen to ruin, looters emerged in search of anything of value that could be salvaged. As days passed and many survivors were barred entrance from the inner cities – to keep resources from being spread too thin – everyone turned vicious and primitive in their hunt to survive.

 

Mikasa had been out in the far fields searching for berries to eat and when she returned home her parents had both been murdered, their house ransacked and the remainder of their food and clothing taken. With nothing left but the shells of her parents and their blood staining the hardwood floors, Mikasa took the long walk to the wall where she was picked up by the Military Police.

 

Armin had been away from home on a trip with his parents, as Eren had remembered. They heard news of the battle in their district on their trek back and postponed their travels, wondering if it was worthwhile to go back and see what remained or if they would simply have to start anew. In the end they took it as a sign to explore the world the way they always dreamed of doing. They left Armin in the care of his grandfather and headed out towards the outer wall, promising to return shortly.

 

Except they never came back. Armin held no hope that he would ever see his parents again, and told Eren off when he tried to encourage Armin to keep hoping. "It's been over four years," Armin had told Eren. "Whether they're dead or not, there's a reason they didn't come back. There's nothing I can do about that."

 

And judging by the other details Levi had heard from Eren relaying the story it was true; Armin hadn't had much control over his fate since the Shiganshina District had burned. A year after his parents had left, Armin's grandfather had died due to old age and ailing health with no medical resources so far from the inner cities. Armin had been left to wander the streets searching for food and avoiding street thugs until the Military Police collected him as well.

 

It was by chance that Armin was taken to the same housing complex where Mikasa was staying, and from then on they had made sure not to be separated again. Mainly with Mikasa putting up enough resistance that it ended up being easier for the Military Police to keep them together rather than fight her on it. Nonetheless, even though they had stayed together until Levi and Mike brought them to the Survey Corps, the years were not pleasant ones.

 

For the most part the Military Police had shouldered the orphaned children with any work they could find, whether that was polishing or mending uniforms, cleaning the barracks, or cooking meals for the soldiers. It wasn't the worst work but some of the soldiers took advantage or were abusive, and the children's learning fell by the wayside. Armin had taken it upon himself to sneak books and read to Mikasa and the other children they shared a room with, keeping their minds active.

 

They figured they would be stuck there until they came of age and could leave and try to start a living on their own. However, more citizens became aware of how the Military Police had set things up and were beginning to question the fairness of the situation on the children. The higher ups in the Military Police wanted to get the kids out of the capital so they would be less visible, yet they still wanted to bank on the children's use for working which was how the auction had been set up.

 

Despite the dangers Eren had faced while being a part of the Survey Corps, hearing these stories about Mikasa and Armin's young lives made Levi incredibly relieved that he had allowed Eren's mother to call him back and push Eren into his arms. Levi might not have been the best mentor and certainly hadn't been prepared for a young, heartbroken eight year old to enter his life. But the uncertainty and discomfort had been worth it when Levi realized how much suffering Eren had been saved from experiencing by growing up here with Levi and the others watching over him.

 

A light whistle caught his attention and Levi looked over to see Hanji and Petra sitting a short distance down the wall from him, also watching the three kids in the courtyard. They waved him over and Levi walked over to join them, sitting down beside Petra. Hanji leaned forward to catch his eye. “You miss him, don’t you?”

 

Levi glared at zher. “How can I miss him? He’s right there.”

 

“You know that’s not what Hanji means,” Petra gave him a sad, understanding look. “It’s okay. I miss him too. I can’t believe he’s thirteen already. I still remember when we first brought him here, bundled up in that green coat you picked out for him and clutching your hand tightly.”

 

Levi’s eyes sought Eren, watching as the training morphed into play fighting. All at once Levi felt bereft, left behind. “He’s grown up. He doesn’t need us anymore.” He knew it was true; just a few months ago when Eren had visited Levi in his room, Levi had said he could stay and Eren had chosen instead to return to his friends. Levi didn’t regret rescuing Mikasa and Armin; he was glad for Eren to have his childhood friends back and to have kids his own age to spend time with. But it was hard to not miss feeling _needed_ like how it had been when Eren was younger.

 

“That doesn’t mean he wants us out of his life,” Hanji pointed out, also sounding sad. “He still comes to visit me in my rooms to help me with experiments.”

 

“And we all still play cards,” Petra added, a small smile returning to her face.

 

They both looked to Levi expectantly and Levi shifted uncomfortably. “Ever since he kissed me he’s been distant,” he admitted. Besides Erwin, Hanji and Petra had been the only two Levi had told about the kiss, though they hadn’t heard about the morning after.

 

“Well obviously,” Hanji rolled zher eyes. “He got rejected but he doesn’t want to lose you entirely so he’s trying to respect your wishes and stay away. I know it’s hard; I have never seen two people closer than the pair of you when he was younger.”

 

“You read too much into things,” Levi accused, not wanting to admit quite how much he disliked Eren growing up and away from him.

 

Hanji shrugged. “You can tell me I’m wrong but I know I’m right. Which is why I’m also certain that he’s going to drift back to you.”

 

Levi shook his head, doubting that Hanji was right. Eren had his two childhood friends back, and in the next year other kids his age would be arriving in preparation to become the next group of recruits with the Survey Corps. Eren would make more friends, find confidantes in others who were closer to his age, and go off on his own adventures. Petra rested a hand on Levi’s shoulder. Levi didn’t like the sympathy but he didn’t shrug her off; he had a feeling that it was to comfort her as well. Erwin had warned him about this but had also reminded Levi that Eren would stay in his life.

 

“Why do you two even care?” Levi asked his two friends.

 

“Don’t kid yourself,” Hanji chided. “He may have been yours but we all looked out for Eren. We’re one big dysfunctional family and Eren is our baby.”

 

Somehow that actually made Levi feel better and he smiled softly as he looked back to the courtyard.

 

#

 

There was a quiet knock at the door. Levi didn’t look away from the book he was reading. “Come in.”

 

Eren slipped in and closed the door behind him. Levi raised an eyebrow when he heard the lock clicking into place but still said nothing. Eren shuffled closer, his hands stuffed deep in his pockets. “Levi, are you mad at me?”

 

Levi turned a page in his book. “What did you do?”

 

“What makes you think I did something?” Eren huffed.

 

At last Levi looked up from his book, closing the pages on his finger so he wouldn’t lose his place. “Why would you ask me if I’m mad at you unless you had done something that would make me mad?”

 

Eren ducked his head and shuffled his feet, his cheeks red. “I need to talk to you.”

 

“Then sit down and spit it out,” Levi pointed to the other half of his couch.

 

Eren still wouldn’t meet Levi’s gaze as he sat on the far end of the couch, staring at his hands in his lap. Levi had no idea what the talk might be about and didn’t know how to prompt Eren so he remained silent and waited. The silence stretched between them and Levi was about to begin reading his book again but finally Eren spoke. “Is it wrong to like guys?”

 

Oh fuck, the sex talk. Levi knew this day would come but that didn’t mean he was looking forward to it. Nonetheless, he knew it was important and forced himself into a professional mindset, hoping it would make it easier for him to explain without feeling too uncomfortable. “No. You can like whoever. Girls, guys, both,” he shrugged.

 

“When I was young, mom and dad talked about how I’d meet a nice girl someday, and how we’d fall in love and get married and have kids,” Eren muttered. “They never mentioned falling in love and marrying a guy. But…” Eren pressed a finger to his lips, denting them slightly. “Mikasa kissed me and I didn’t like it at all. We're more like siblings anyway. It wasn’t like when—” Eren began and then cut himself off, glancing at Levi and away again hurriedly.

 

“I think most parents assume their kids will grow up straight because it seems to match the majority,” Levi explained. “But that doesn’t mean another choice is wrong.”

 

“You said it would be easier when there were other kids my age,” Eren said with an accusatory tone. “That I’d find someone else.”

 

“Have some damn patience,” Levi said. “The only two people your age are your childhood friends, who you may always see as friends only. It’s not like you’re going to fall in love with everyone you meet. The recruits will be graduating soon and then other kids around your age will be showing up in preparation for the new training session. One of them might catch your interest.”

 

“Why are you so eager to get rid of me?” Eren questioned sullenly.

 

Levi sighed irritably. “I’m not. I just want to see you happy.”

 

“But _you_ make me happy!” Eren shuffled closer.

 

“That doesn’t change the fact that I’m twelve years older than you,” Levi leaned further away.

 

“It doesn’t bother me,” Eren’s face was bright red with embarrassment but he continued on anyway. “I think about you when I—”

 

“Shut the _fuck_ up! I don’t want to hear that,” Levi stood from the couch and leaned against the wall, putting as much space between them as he could without kicking Eren out or fleeing his own room. He vehemently refused to let his imagination kick in. “Eren, you’re thirteen. I’ll answer questions but I do _not_ want to hear about you doing _that_ or anything related.”

 

To his aggravation, Eren just gave him a sad, hurt look. “I thought you said liking guys was okay.”

 

“It _is_ okay,” Levi insisted. “The issue is age, not your gender.”

 

"So you _do_ like guys," Eren pressed.

 

"Yes, I like _men_ ," Levi clarified.

 

Eren was silent as he picked at a loose thread on his shirt. “You said you’d answer questions?”

 

“Yeah,” Levi crossed his arms, bracing himself for what would come next.

 

“Some mornings I wake up...hard. And I can’t stop it,” Eren mumbled, still focused on the thread.

 

“That’s normal,” Levi assured.

 

Eren bit his lip. “And uh, is there anything else you can do besides using your hand?”

 

Levi pretended that he was reading from a book and giving a sex-ed lecture. It was still uncomfortable but it was easier to answer the questions without his mind wandering and wondering. “On your own it’s basically that or frottage, which is when you rub against something. You can do more with someone else.”

 

“Like what?”

 

“Well, if you’re with a girl—”

 

Eren cleared his throat. “I don’t think that’s going to happen.”

 

“If you’re forcing me to have this talk then we’re going to cover everything,” Levi grumbled. “Because there’s no fucking way I’m saying any of this again. So, like I was saying, if you’re with a girl you can use hands, your mouth, or you can stick your dick in her. With a girl you need to make sure you don’t get her pregnant so you need to wear a condom.”

 

By now Eren was covering his face with his hands, utterly mortified. Levi was the opposite; the more he talked the easier it got. “And with guys?” Eren prompted hesitantly. “Do I not need condoms with them?”

 

“You’ll need condoms until you’re certain you or they don’t have any infections or diseases you could catch. Though no, long term lovers don’t strictly need condoms,” Levi explained. “The options are basically the same. Handjobs, and blowjobs with your mouth. The only difference is that guys have one less hole, and you’ll either be sticking your dick in him or he’ll be sticking his in you.”

 

The groan Eren released sounded truly tortured. “I should’ve gone to Hanji for this.”

 

“Yeah, you should’ve,” Levi snapped. “Why didn’t you?”

 

“Because Hanji probably would’ve made me write an essay on how I feel and fill out a logbook of my experiences,” Eren looked horrified at the thought.

 

Levi couldn’t hold back his snort of amusement. “Zhe probably would’ve. Okay, I’m more willing to deal with this shit if it means saving you from _that_. Anything else?”

 

“ _Is_ there anything else?” Eren shrugged helplessly and chuckled, their combined nervous laughter releasing some tension.

 

“There’s a lot more but those are the basics,” Levi said, not willing to go into the gritty details. “One other thing I should mention is lube, no matter who you’re with. And prep. Don’t rush into anything or else someone is going to get hurt. Just take it slow and use fingers to stretch out whoever is going to be on the bottom. And don’t do anything you’re not comfortable with.”

 

“Alright, thanks Levi,” Eren said and stood from the couch, still looking anywhere but directly at Levi. “I’m going to go die of embarrassment now.”

 

“I’ll be right behind you.” Unbidden, Levi was struck by the mental of image of kneeling behind Eren on the bed and he cringed, feeling the immediate need to shower. Eren hesitated, perhaps noticing his reaction, but Levi just pointed to the door. “Out.”

 

Eren scurried out and Levi didn’t even bother trying to return to his book. Instead he showered and then walked down the hall to Erwin’s rooms, hair still wet and dripping. Erwin was eating his dinner quietly at his table in the corner, reading over reports at the same time. He looked up and raised an eyebrow. “Rivaille, to what do I owe the—“ Levi cut him off with a bruising kiss, dragging Erwin’s hands away from his fork and papers and leading them under Levi’s shirt. He refused to think about the slight desperation in his movements. Erwin’s hands explored readily as he kissed back until they broke apart breathlessly. “—pleasure?” Erwin finished with a laugh.

 

“Here or the bedroom?” was all Levi said.

 

Erwin hummed as he slid his fingers below the waistband of Levi’s pants, gripping and squeezing his ass. “Why not both?”

 

“Works for me,” Levi said and let Erwin flip him over and press him back against the table as their lips met again.

 

#

 

"Levi?"

 

"In here," Levi called out as he continued to pull a few sets of clothes from his closet. He looked up as Eren entered the bedroom slowly and then walked his clothes over to the bed in order to fold them before packing them in his travel bag.

 

Eren sat on the edge of the bed, watching him. Levi noticed that Eren had a bag in his arms but didn't ask about it. "You're leaving tomorrow, right?" Eren asked quietly.

 

"Tomorrow morning," Levi said as he moved to his dresser to pull out the maps he would need, a compass and his dagger. "The graduates' first mission will be to spread the copies of those child labour contracts throughout the cities, stir up some shit. And try to do some recruiting for new members as well."

 

Eren's eyes were still lingering. "I'd ask you not to go but I know you won't listen to me."

 

"You know it's not about listening," Levi scolded him. "The Survey Corps is my family. I'll protect them all."

 

"I'm your family too," Eren mumbled.

 

"I didn't say you weren't," Levi pointed out. "Stop sulking. I'm sure you and your friends will find plenty to do that'll keep you busy."

 

"Yeah. Now that the graduates have moved into their new rooms and the barracks are free for the trainees coming in, we're going to move in this weekend. Try to get the best beds," Eren gave a weak smile, though his eyes were still on the bag resting on his lap. "Which is actually why I came up, besides saying goodbye and everything..."

 

"Just spit it out, Eren," Levi said.

 

Eren's cheeks turned pink. "Will you hold onto this for me?" he requested and held the bag out with shaking hands.

 

Levi paused in his packing and sat on the edge of the bed beside Eren. He plucked the bag from Eren's hands and opened it to look inside. A moment later he pulled out Eren's favourite green coat; the one Levi had picked out and bought for him only days after Eren had been entrusted to his care. Eren hadn't worn it in a few years, having grown out of it shortly after his tenth birthday. "I thought you got rid of this."

 

"Of course I didn't," Eren ducked his head. "You got it for me, and it was always my favourite. It's just that when I move into the barracks I won't have as much storage space. I don't want to give it up so I hoped you could keep it in your closet for me. It won't take up much room."

 

Levi's eyes narrowed as he focused on Eren's face. "Are you crying?"

 

"No," Eren said, brushing a hand over his cheek hurriedly.

 

Things were still somewhat tense and awkward between them ever since the sex talk they had had a few months ago, but Levi's protectiveness had never faded. Gently he reached over and brushed a few stray locks of hair from Eren's forehead before stroking his hair, the way he had comforted Eren as a child. "Eren," Levi prompted softly.

 

"I'm not crying, shut up," Eren insisted, tilting his head slightly to feel Levi's fingers against his scalp. "I just miss the way things were."

 

"When I got you this coat you had just lost your mom," Levi reminded him.

 

"I know," Eren snapped. "But when I was sad or scared I could just crawl into your lap and hug you and I knew I'd be safe. It was so easy and it made sense," Eren sighed, fingers clutching at the bed sheets and wrinkling them even as Levi continued to stroke his hair calmingly.

 

Levi tugged lightly at Eren's hair to catch his attention. "C'mere. One hug won't kill us." Eren looked at Levi warily for a moment, weighing his options. Then Eren was sliding into Levi's arms, holding him so tightly that it was hard to breathe. Levi hugged him back and didn't say anything when Eren tucked his face against Levi's neck. "How are you doing, Eren? Really?" It felt like forever since he and Eren had really _talked_ ; confided in one another. Despite the uncertainty between them, Levi wanted to rectify that.

 

"'m okay," Eren breathed, not making any move to withdraw from the hug. "It's been hard having Mikasa and Armin here though, even though I know that makes me sound like a shitty friend. I'm glad to be with them again but they keep making me remember my home and my parents. It was easier to move on when I didn't have as much to remind me about what I lost. Not to mention how weird it is between me and Mikasa after she kissed me."

 

Levi tightened his arms more around Eren. "All of that is normal."

 

"I get so _angry_ sometimes though. Still. It doesn't go away," Eren sighed tiredly and leaned against Levi with more weight. "With Mikasa for kissing me and making it awkward. At both of them for _constantly_ talking about when we were kids when I just want to forget." Eren's fingers clutched at Levi with painful desperation but Levi said nothing. "With _myself_ for being such an idiot all the time, and for being angry with them when I shouldn't."

 

"Remember what I told you?" Levi asked as he brushed the hair at the nape of Eren's neck.

 

"I didn't think you'd want me coming to you as much anymore," Eren admitted. "But I will."

 

"We can spar," Levi offered. "It'll work out some of your anger."

 

"When you're back from the mission," Eren said. "I don't want to move right now."

 

Levi didn't argue. He relaxed with how easy this felt to just share a hug and stroke Eren's hair to calm and comfort him. He liked being this support for Eren even though he had originally thought he would be horrible at raising kids. Maybe any other kid wouldn't have worked out, but he and Eren had been a good pair. Levi breathed deeply and leaned against Eren in return, both of them supporting one another in their embrace.

 

They talked more but mostly hugged in silence. Levi had no desire to move but eventually his body grew stiff and numb from sitting still for so long and he shifted away, stretching out his arms and legs. Eren released him and sat beside Levi on the bed, mimicking his stretching. Once Levi had feeling in his legs again he picked up Eren's old coat from where he had set it aside and hooked it on a clothes hanger. He hung the coat up in his closet where it would stay safe and unwrinkled.

 

The sight of it hanging in his closet brought back fond memories and Levi didn't hide his small smile from Eren when he turned back around. Eren returned the smile and stood from the bed, his posture a lot more calm and certain than when he had entered. "Be safe and come back soon," Eren requested.

 

"As soon as I can," Levi promised, his smile remaining in place as Eren gave him one more hug and then exited the room.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Notes: an Erwin/Levi smut scene, as well as tension and reconciliation between Levi and Eren. Lots of shifting dynamics in this chapter :)

Levi looked over the group of new recruits from where he stood off to the side while Erwin addressed the new members. A few of the kids looked eager and excited but the rest just looked nervous and queasy. They all stood at attention though, sharp eyes on their new Commander as they held their salute. The group was a relatively good size, about forty young girls and boys who would spend their next four years training to become official Survey Corps members.

 

Erwin was hopeful that they would receive more trainees in the upcoming months with the growing unrest in the cities and building displeasure with the Military Police. Levi had been gone with the new graduates for months spreading news and copies of the contracts they had stolen from the Military Police. Nile and the others of course tried to imply that the Survey Corps had just fabricated the contracts in order to make them look bad, but citizens weren't as stupid as the Military Police seemed to believe. After all, the King's seal had been developed purposefully to avoid any unauthorized recreations, and it branded the bottom of each contract.

 

Levi had come back for the first initiation of trainees so that he could be introduced and help with some training, though he knew he would be heading back into the cities before long. The Military Police were becoming increasingly agitated by default, and although it was more dangerous to be in the cities, it was also easier to goad the Military Police members into making themselves look bad. Levi understood why Erwin wanted the Survey Corps to build their presence but Levi was determined to make sure no one died needlessly.

 

The graduates – now fully-fledged members of the Survey Corps – were still located throughout the cities, spreading the word and stirring up dissatisfaction. During the time Levi had been out with the graduates they had discovered a new trend. Young teens would approach them and explain that they had previously wanted to join the Military Police but had now changed their minds, wanting to be part of the Survey Corps. This was particularly common in the outer cities, who had originally dreamed of the easy life in the inner territories but had now decided instead to fight for equality, to not abandon their homes for a fantasy.

 

Levi saw these kids spread amongst the group, and knew he and the others would have to make a special effort to make them feel welcome. While everyone would be nervous, those who had changed from the Military Police to the Survey Corps would need to be reassured that they had made the right choice, to feel welcome and included. Of course Levi wasn't concerned, not with Petra and Mike standing on both sides of him; they were a lot more approachable than Levi was.

 

Some of them Levi had met while he was away from the castle with the graduates and others me met when he returned. Eren had made it his duty to introduce everyone to him and Levi did his best to remember everyone's names as much as possible. Mostly he remembered each of them for some odd quirk.

 

Christa and Ymir had come from different towns but immediately gravitated towards one another, quickly becoming an inseparable pair. It was an odd match – Christa was a tiny blonde from the inner territories while Ymir was tall and rougher from her years on the fringes – but Levi wasn't going to question them. Another pair that had quickly developed was Connie and Sasha. Connie, for whatever reason at the age of fourteen had shaved his hair so short that he might as well have been bald. And Sasha was the reason the cooks had been forced to change the locks on all of the food storage rooms; her hunger seemed insatiable.

 

Although Levi had been introduced to many of the other new recruits, there was only one other kid who stood out easily in his mind. His name was Jean and he seemed to have about as much of an attitude issue as Eren did. The two boys immediately clashed as soon as they met, both because their personalities didn't mesh and also because Jean seemed to take an immediate interest in Mikasa. Levi knew from his talks with Eren that Eren wasn't interested in Mikasa romantically, but that didn't mean he wasn't viciously protective of his friends.

 

From where Levi was standing off to the side he could see Eren and Jean bumping shoulders where they stood side by side near the front of the group, both of them sending warning looks at each other. Unwilling to have Eren embarrass himself – and, by extension, Levi – on his first official day, Levi cleared his throat quietly. Immediately Eren tensed and glanced over at him, offering a sheepish smile and putting a bit of distance between himself and Jean when Levi pointed towards Erwin; a clear ' _eyes forward_ '.

 

When Erwin finished his welcome speech he stepped aside and Mike moved to the front of the group, explaining to everyone what they would be trained in and when each stage would begin. Similar to when the previous group of trainees had begun, they would begin with basic hand to hand combat first. That would be followed by sword training and then Manoeuvre Gear training, intermixed with classes on tracking, navigation, foraging and anything else they might need.

 

After demonstrating some of the basic stances with Erd, Mike ordered everyone to pair up and practice while the older officials would move throughout the group to make corrections and offer tips and suggestions. Levi remained standing where he was and raised an eyebrow when Eren rushed over to him, grinning from ear to ear.

 

Eren had been fitted for his Survey Corps uniform during the months Levi was away from the castle, and by the time he got back it was too late. He had tried once more to talk Eren out of officially joining and then had backed off, recognizing that Eren was at the stage of life where he was going to start making his own choices and Levi had to respect that. It didn't mean Levi was happy; a part of his mind could only imagine the worst horrors when he saw Eren prancing around in his new jacket and boots. But Levi had accepted that this was what Eren wanted to do and would help Eren achieve his goal without getting killed in the process.

 

Returning to the castle after being away for a while had also been jarring, not just because of the uniform, but because puberty had hit Eren full force. At fourteen he was at least one inch taller than Levi now and still growing. His chest had also broadened and his muscles had grown more defined, which would only increase as he continued his training for the next four years. And Eren's voice, whenever it wasn't breaking, had begun to deepen when he spoke. Eren was no longer the little boy who had cried in Levi's arms.

 

"What?" Levi snapped when Eren stood in front of him expectantly.

 

Eren's smile wavered and then returned. "Mike told us to pair up."

 

"With other new trainees," Levi said. "Not with me."

 

This time Eren's smile didn't fully remain in place. "But I already know all of this. I learned this stuff years ago."

 

"I am well aware."

 

Levi noticed Petra giving him a sidelong look before leaving the two of them alone to talk, beginning to walk through the group of trainees to make sure everyone had a partner to work with. Eren's face was a bit red. "Do you want to be rid of me that badly that you won't even train with me anymore?" Eren whispered brokenly.

 

Levi sighed and fought the urge to pinch the bridge of his nose. "Eren, you and I will still be training in the evenings to keep you sharp until everyone else's training catches up. But it will be valuable for you to learn how to fight others as well; it's important not to be predictable. Also, the normal training is about forging a bond with all these new recruits as you work _together_ ," Levi explained as simply as he could. "You won't make friends if you're running off to the high command all the time."

 

"So you don't hate me?" Eren fished.

 

"I'm tired of this conversation," Levi said. There were only so many times and so many ways Levi could say this, and it would never be enough because what Eren wanted from him was more than Levi could give. "You know the answer to that."

 

"Hey, I have someone here who still needs a partner!" Petra called from the edge of the group.

 

Both Levi and Eren looked over and saw that Petra had her hand on Jean's shoulder. Petra was smiling innocently while Jean looked generally displeased. Eren groaned. "Anyone but him."

 

"Suck it up," Levi shoved Eren towards the group lightly, hand between Eren's shoulder blades. Eren sent Levi a betrayed look and dragged his feet but did as he was told, walking over to Jean in order to go through the drills Mike spent the next hour and a half showing the group. For the most part Levi remained on the sidelines, watching closely to note everyone's skill level, strengths and weaknesses. He stepped in once when Eren and Jean – paired together on the edge of the group – inched towards a real fistfight but otherwise stayed somewhat distant.

 

In the afternoon when Hanji took over the training to go over some basic tracking and survival tactics when camping out in the wilderness, Levi headed inside and up to Erwin's rooms. With the Military Police growing more restless there were more reports coming in from the cities to go through, updating the Commander of the varying situations and tensions throughout the territories.

 

"When do you think it'll all come to a head?" Levi wondered aloud as he wrote updates on Erwin's massive map.

 

"Hard to say," Erwin hummed as he handed another report over to Levi with more information to note on the map. "Tensions still have a ways to go before they snap, but I doubt we have much longer before fights begin to break out more frequently."

 

"I hope you have a plan," Levi grumbled, taking the next sheet of paper without looking up from his work. "A lot of people are going to die."

 

"I have a plan," Erwin promised. He didn't give details and Levi didn't ask. "Though there isn't a perfect solution."

 

"There never is." Levi marked the new update on the map showing a new base the Military Police had set up in Borna, the city nearest the Survey Corps' headquarters. They had never edged this close before and it was concerning, though Levi doubted they were stupid enough to charge the castle when the surrounding forest and fields would betray them so easily. Levi glanced out through the window and took in the setting sun. "I should head down for dinner."

 

"Will you return after, Rivaille?" Erwin asked softly. "You have been back for over a week and we have not yet lain together."

 

“You’re getting so greedy,” Levi chided as he finished marking the map. “I’ve visited you almost every day since returning to the castle. _You_ were the one to suggest doing more relationship-type activities. Change your mind?” Levi smirked.

 

“Of course not,” Erwin said, touching Levi’s arm. “I’ve enjoyed relaxing with you in the evenings; talking and reading and having you close by my side. But I miss your body too.”

 

"After dinner I'm going to train Eren for an hour," Levi explained. "And then I'll come back and stay the night.”

 

"Don't make me order you." Erwin was trying to keep his voice light and teasing but Levi could detect a hitch of uncertainty.

 

"No order will be necessary," he promised and kissed Erwin chastely before heading downstairs.

 

The dining hall was mostly empty when Levi arrived, though he noticed some of the higher ranking officials – including Erd, Auruo, Mike and Gunter – seated at their normal table. Levi grabbed a plate of food just as he heard the group of trainees approaching down the hall. He sat down beside Erd and watched out of the corner of his eye as Petra and Hanji led everyone in and corralled them into lining up for dinner.

 

Petra and Hanji joined them at the table and left the rest of the tables free for the new kids to swarm. Sitting at the end of the table Levi could see Eren approaching him hesitantly, tray of food clasped tightly in his hands. Levi shook his head and Eren stood beside him, giving him a wounded look. "Can't I sit?"

 

"You wanted to be an official trainee," Levi reminded him. "So you need to sit with the trainees."

 

Eren swallowed thickly and muttered, "Yes, Captain."

 

It stung but Levi didn't change his mind, watching silently as Eren walked towards the table with Armin and Mikasa. Levi picked at his food, his appetite mostly gone, and listened half-heartedly to the conversations across the table. This was for the best; Eren needed to forge connections with people his own age. But that didn't mean Eren's absence at the table wasn't noticeable. After all, Levi had been gone for months. He missed Eren too.

 

He feared that after being spurned twice in one day Eren would withdraw from Levi rather than approach him for their evening training. However, Levi wasn't going to make the first move and single Eren out from the group. He would leave the decision with Eren and go from there. Levi finished eating and continued to sit while Gunter pulled out the deck of cards, though he watched instead of taking part himself.

 

Levi allowed a small smile when Eren put away his tray and walked towards him, which caused Eren to smile in return. Levi ignored the eyes on them and stood from the table, and without words they made their way together towards the door and upstairs. "You know some of the trainees won't like you getting special treatment," Levi said conversationally as they entered Levi's rooms.

 

"Fuck 'em," Eren shrugged as he and Levi worked together to push the couch out of the way, making space in the center of the room. "I'd be jealous of me too but that doesn't mean I'm going to miss this opportunity." Levi sent him a look and Eren rolled his eyes. "I promise I'll do my best not to intentionally antagonize everyone," he droned and then laughed.

 

Giving up on the issue at the present moment, Levi finished pushing the coffee table out of the way, ensuring they would have enough room to spar without stumbling into any furniture. "What do you want to work on tonight?"

 

"I want you to show me new ways to break through someone's block," Eren said, moving to stand opposite Levi. "When I sparred with Jean today I couldn't get a single punch to his stupid face. He kept blocking me and I couldn't push through."

 

Already Levi could see that Eren was getting riled up. Levi snapped his fingers in front of Eren's face, drawing his attention. "Focus. You were probably shit at sparring today because you were too wrapped up in your anger to fight properly."

 

"Anger makes me stronger though," Eren argued.

 

Levi shook his head. "You may hit harder, but that means nothing if you can't actually _hit_ anything. Anger makes you movements sloppy and predictable."

 

Eren scowled and took a swing at Levi, who dodged and knocked Eren's feet from beneath him. Eren hit the stone floor and groaned. Levi offered a hand but Eren slapped it away, standing on his own. "Well aren't I glad to have your fucking words of wisdom back after _months_ away. I was starting to wonder if you'd _ever_ come back. You did, but not to see _me_ , of course. Just for a good fucking from your boyfriend."

 

"Fuck off, Eren," Levi huffed. "You don't know me nearly as well as you think."

 

Those words triggered something vicious inside Eren, and with a yell Eren swung at Levi with his full weight. Levi dodged when he could and blocked when he had to, feeling his arms ache each time Eren's furious fists found contact with his skin. Levi could've tripped Eren and brought the fight to an end but with the way Eren was throwing his weight around Levi was scared of Eren falling the wrong way on the stones and causing serious damage to himself.

 

Levi could also tell that this was the anger and pain that had been pent up during the last few months while Levi was away. It would poison Eren if it was kept buried. Levi wanted him to get it out, knowing that it would help his happiness as well as his focus and fighting in training. He continued to dodge and block Eren's attacks, his aim to stay standing until Eren finally tired and regained his senses.

 

Levi's plan had to change when Eren began to push Levi back towards one of the walls. Levi was about to dodge out of the way again but then Eren's foot was between his, tripping him. "I should know you better than anyone!" Eren shouted as he shoved Levi forcefully back against the wall, eyes sharp and desperate.

 

A spark of fear ignited in the pit of Levi's belly, dulling the pride Levi would've normally felt at Eren's ability to outmanoeuvre him in a fight. He saw the fist curling tightly and the arm being raised and Levi shouted back as he raised his arms to cover his face. "Control yourself!"

 

The blow never landed. Levi held his protective stance for another moment longer. The only sound in the room was their mingled panting for air. When Levi finally dropped his guard he saw Eren's wide, horrified eyes as they stared at Levi and then down at his hands as his fingers uncurled from fists. Confused, Levi tilted his arms and only then did he see the bruises already beginning to form and litter his forearms. Eren's knuckles were similarly abused, red and on their way to a darker purple.

 

"I hurt you," Eren whispered in revulsion. "I can't believe I'd ever—I can't believe—" Tears welled in Eren's eyes as he looked back at Levi's arms. "I should go."

 

Scared of what Eren might do if left on his own, Levi caught Eren's wrist and stopped him from running to the door. "Sit down."

 

"No, I need to be away from you," Eren insisted. "I can't hurt you again."

 

"You won't," Levi said certainly. He briefly ignored the stiffness in his arms to roll down his sleeves, hiding the damage from Eren's gaze.

 

"How do you know?" Eren sniffled. He wasn't moving to sit but wasn't heading for the door either.

 

"Because you stopped," Levi brushed Eren's bangs from his face.

 

Eren ducked away from the touch. "How could you let me do that?"

 

Levi didn't pursue him. "I understand your anger. And I trust you."

 

"You were scared of me," Eren moaned, clenching his eyes closed. "I could tell. I saw it on your face."

 

"There's not much I'm scared of. Take it as a compliment. I taught you well." Eren cringed as though slapped and Levi changed tactics. He stepped closer again and although Eren didn't look at him, he didn't pull away either. Levi's fingers found their place in Eren's hair and stroked. "It is nothing that won't heal. I'm glad to know you can take care of yourself in a fight."

 

"I never want to hurt you," Eren sniffled louder.

 

"I forgive you," Levi said simply. "But you need to remember that you're stronger now. You must always be in control, even against your enemies."

 

"How?" Eren asked. His head was bowed as Levi stroked his hair.

 

"I don't know," Levi admitted. "You seem more emotional than me and are less able to turn your emotions off when you need to." He slipped his fingers mindlessly through Eren's hair as he thought. "Try taking deep breaths more," he eventually suggested. "It may center you."

 

"Okay."

 

"Sit," Levi ordered. With Eren being taller than him now, along with his abused arms, reaching up to pet Eren's hair was beginning to make his body ache.

 

He was slightly saddened to see Eren shake his head as he slowly stepped out of Levi's reach. "I should get back to the barracks. I don't trust myself right now. I'll uh..." Eren bit his lip as he edged towards the door. "I'll see you tomorrow at training?"

 

Levi nodded. "Goodnight."

 

Eren parted without words and Levi spent a few minutes returning his furniture to its proper place. Then he headed to Erwin's rooms, locking the door behind him when he found Erwin sitting alone on his couch with a book. "Rivaille," Erwin said in warm greeting as he looked up from his book. His eyebrows furrowed as he looked over Levi's stiff gait. "Are you alright?"

 

Levi continued his steady pace to and beyond the couch, his hand merely brushing Erwin's shoulder in passing to entice him to follow. Levi was slow as he peeled off his clothes, his arms beginning to throb. When Erwin stood behind him and meticulously unbuckled each strap confining Levi's body, Levi stood loosely and let Erwin strip him, his eyes fluttering closed at the comforting warmth of Erwin's hands on his skin.

 

Once naked, Levi slid into bed. He was careful to avoid resting any weight on his forearms as he moved onto his back. Erwin joined him after a moment, kneeling above him. Levi stretched out his body beneath Erwin, teasing him but also working out the stiffness from his new injuries. "Be gentle tonight, would you?"

 

"That must be the first time I've heard you request that," Erwin teased, sucking lightly at Levi's neck. "What has you changing your mind tonight?" Without words Levi exposed his forearms, which were turning purple by now. Immediately Erwin's expression darkened, his body tensing. "Who did that to you? I'll make them suffer."

 

"That won't be necessary," Levi brushed him off, conflicted between his protectiveness of Eren and affection for Erwin. "Eren just needed to work through some anger. He stopped on his own."

 

"Not soon enough," Erwin hissed.

 

"If I recall correctly, you took a few beatings yourself when I was growing up," Levi pointed out, feeling defensive. Yes, he had been hurt slightly, but Levi still felt that he had done the right thing by allowing Eren to work through his anger rather than bottle it up and have it explode later on.

 

"That's—"

 

"Different?" Levi cut him off, disbelieving. "How?"

 

Erwin looked thoroughly displeased as he closed his mouth silently. "I just worry," he eventually confessed.

 

"I know," Levi smoothed a palm over Erwin's shoulder and down his arm. "But I can handle Eren. His guilt will be enough to keep him from lashing out like that again."

 

"Did you intentionally let him win?" Erwin asked.

 

"No," Levi admitted. "I underestimated him."

 

"Well please refrain from doing so again." Erwin leaned forward and kissed Levi softly, tender and caring. Levi carefully wound his arms around Erwin’s neck, pulling him closer as he returned the kiss. It felt good to have Erwin’s body weight pressing him to the mattress again, and it made Levi smile when he felt Erwin hold him close.

 

They kissed lazily for a long time, making up for the months Levi had been away. However, when Erwin detached their lips and made a move to pull away Levi grunted and tightened his arms around Erwin. “Where do you think you’re going?”

 

“You’re hurt,” Erwin reasoned. “I won’t make you do anything tonight.”

 

“You’ve gotten pretty full of yourself if you think you can _make me_ do _anything_ ,” Levi glared at him lightly. “Besides, the rest of my body is fine. You’ll just have to wait to have me on my hands and knees again.”

 

“Such tragedies I endure,” Erwin chuckled.

 

This time Levi let Erwin withdraw since he saw that the man was only reaching for the lube. However, Levi’s body tensed when Erwin set the lube by Levi’s hip and resituated himself on his stomach between Levi’s legs. “Wait,” Levi said as Erwin’s large hands gripped his thighs and pried them apart. “What are you doing?”

 

“What do you _think_ I’m doing?” Erwin smirked, ducking his head down to nibble a mark onto the skin of Levi’s inner thigh.

 

“Erwin, you know how I feel about that.” Levi struggled to close his legs but didn’t have the leverage, especially with Erwin purposefully putting his body in the way to stop him.

 

“There’s nothing wrong with it,” Erwin told him, sucking another mark further up Levi’s thigh, his fingers spreading Levi’s ass cheeks. “It’s as much a part of your body as everywhere else. And you’re a clean freak; you’re probably the best person to do this with anyway.”

 

“If you put your tongue an _inch_ closer to my ass you aren’t allowed to kiss me for a _week_ ,” Levi warned, gritting his teeth.

 

Erwin hummed in apparent thought, though Levi knew it was all for show. “Seems worth it,” Erwin said, which was all the warning Levi got before he felt a hot wet tongue brush against his hole.

 

“Fuck it all, Erwin,” Levi groaned and threw an arm over his eyes. He didn’t bother fighting anymore though. It was too late to stop Erwin’s tongue from touching, and Levi was already beginning to get hard. Erwin kept his ass spread and quickly got Levi’s hole wet, adding a lubed finger a few minutes later to begin to open him up.

 

“You’re tight,” Erwin said at one point as he worked a second finger in, his voice more purr than speech.

 

By now Levi’s body was flushed, his breathing short as heat coiled in his groin. “Yeah well it’s been a while, hasn’t it?”

 

“I like opening you.” Levi didn’t know what to say to that and instead gasped when Erwin’s tongue traced his perineum and then pushed in between Erwin’s two spread fingers.

 

“You’re going to give me a fucking heart attack,” Levi accused. “Then you’ll be sorry.” Instead of answering Erwin worked his tongue in deeper. Levi couldn’t stop the whine building at the back of his throat as a thick glob of precome dribbled onto his stomach. With weakening shame Levi spread his legs wider and lifted his hips to take Erwin’s tongue and fingers further. His whine broke into a desperate cry when Erwin’s fingers grazed his prostate, Levi shaking and on the verge of orgasm. “Erwin, I’m close.”

 

“I could finish you like this,” Erwin paused in his work and offered, staring at Levi from between his legs. “I’d enjoy watching you come without even being touched.”

 

“Torturer,” Levi said. Already his body was squirming, trying to rub against the fingers still buried inside him. “I want your damn cock and I’m going to get it.”

 

“Well when you ask so nicely,” Erwin smiled and withdrew his fingers fully, reaching for the lube to coat his own swollen cock. Levi watched, taking pleasure in seeing how close Erwin was just from working on getting Levi off; Erwin was barely touching his twitching length as he spread lube and already his face was flushed red. Once prepared, Erwin positioned himself at Levi’s entrance and pushed his head in. Levi winced and tried to breathe through the pain, wrapping his arms around Erwin again to keep him from withdrawing. “Does it hurt, Rivaille?”

 

“A bit,” Levi huffed, forcing himself to breathe deeply. After the length of time they had been apart, two fingers wasn’t enough to fully prep him. But Levi wasn’t planning on waiting any longer, knowing anymore foreplay could accidentally tip one or both of them over the edge before they were joined.

 

Erwin kept his body still even though Levi knew it must be driving him mad feeling Levi’s tight hole clench around him as Levi adjusted. These were the moments when Levi loved Erwin most, when Erwin’s care for Levi was so obvious. “Are you going to be stubborn about the kissing?” Erwin wondered aloud.

 

Levi laughed weakly. “Yeah.”

 

Erwin smiled and instead began pressing soft kisses along Levi’s collarbone. “I missed you.”

 

“I missed you too.” Levi traced circles on the back of Erwin’s neck. “You can move now.”

 

Erwin lifted his head to read Levi’s eyes, waiting for a final nod of approval before pushing his hips forward. Erwin’s cock filled Levi inch by slow inch, Levi’s body stretching to accommodate him. When Erwin bottomed out and nudged against Levi’s prostate again Levi dug his heels into the bed as his body arched, his climax already wonderfully close. Erwin groaned loudly at the sensation and thrust in again, their bodies rocking together.

 

“I won’t last,” Erwin confessed, voice strained.

 

“As if I will,” Levi grunted as Erwin’s cock hit his prostate again. His hand itched to reach down and grip himself, to give the tug of friction needed to find completion. Instead he wrapped his arms around Erwin, holding him close. He took Erwin in as his thrusts grew more hurried and desperate, the bed squeaking beneath them.

 

It ended in a rush, Erwin breathing Levi’s name in his ear as his large body shuddered against Levi’s own. Levi could feel Erwin’s cock twitching against his walls and the warm spill of come inside him and it was all Levi needed to follow Erwin into oblivion. He sealed his mouth on Erwin’s skin to muffle his cry as he came between them, the sticky mess pooling in his bellybutton.

 

After they caught their breaths Erwin began to withdraw but Levi held him tighter, keeping him in place. “Stay.”

 

“But—” Erwin began, knowing that Levi normally hated to stay dirty after they finished their release.

 

Tonight Levi didn’t mind, wanting to remain filled by Erwin for another few minutes. “Just stay,” he said again, his eyes drifting closed.

 

He felt soft lips kiss his pulse point on his neck and Levi hummed. “Always.”

 

#

 

The next morning at training Levi caught Eren’s gaze and then Eren proceeded to stand as far away from him as possible. Throughout the morning Eren got paired up with different trainees and always practiced on the opposite side of the courtyard, and when break was called Eren ducked into the castle ahead of the rest of the group. Levi wasn’t going to pursue him, knowing that Eren would need some time. However, as the routine continued for a week and Eren even skirted their evening training sessions, Levi got rather frustrated.

 

Knowing he shouldn’t corner Eren about this and that it was Eren’s right to make his own decisions on who he spent time with and what he did in his evenings, Levi volunteered for another mission away from headquarters. Ever since Erwin had received the report of the Military Police setting up a base in Borna, Erwin had been preparing a task force to make sure the city didn’t fall to Military Police control. They already had a well-established safe house there that could easily be turned into a more substantial base of operations and the town was heavily in favour of the Survey Corps and what they fought for. But it never hurt to be prepared, or to match the Military Police’s advance.

 

Levi was surprised but not upset when Erwin decided to go with him, leaving Mike in temporary command of the castle. “I need to show that I’m not just going to hide on the sidelines and send my people to be killed in my stead,” Erwin reasoned when Levi told him he was safer staying at HQ. “How can I ask my soldiers to die for my cause if I will not take the same risks?”

 

“You’re the planner,” Levi told him. “You need to be somewhere safe and figure out our best strategies.”

 

“You talk as if I don’t know how to fight, Rivaille,” Erwin laughed as he pulled himself up onto his horse beside Levi who was already mounted. “I taught _you_ to fight, if you’ll recall.”

 

“I remember,” Levi said, reminding himself that Erwin wasn’t just a scholar who had never wielded a blade before. To break the nerves in the air Levi added a teasing comment. “Just don’t break a bone, old man.”

 

“Hey,” Erwin gave Levi a light swat as he led his horse past Levi and towards the gate. “I’m _your_ old man.”

 

All of the trainees were watching them out of the corner of their eyes even though they were supposed to be training, but no gaze was heavier than Eren’s. After being ignored for a week Levi didn’t bother meeting Eren’s eyes across the crowd and instead followed Erwin to the gate. There were a few more Survey Corps graduated members joining them on the expedition, their horses tied to carts full of supplies.

 

It had been a long time since Levi had gone on a mission with Erwin and he was happy to be reminded of how much he enjoyed it. It was nerve-wracking, of course; Levi cared for every one of his soldiers but wouldn’t deny that the thought of losing Erwin left him feeling particularly dizzy. But he knew Erwin could take care of himself, and that they worked well together in these sorts of situations. It was also nice to not be in command for once since normally he ended up being the commanding officer when Erwin didn’t come. Levi would take on that role whenever necessary but he didn’t enjoy it and was happier to have Erwin shoulder the weight of his orders.

 

They approached Borna from the south rather than directly from the west, as all Survey Corps members were ordered to do now. It was a simple solution to make it just a little bit more challenging for the Military Police to pinpoint exactly where the castle might be located. Levi couldn’t spot any Military Police on the rooftops or streets but he could immediately see the stress and worry on the faces of the townsfolk. Levi grimaced and faced forward, knowing things were only going to get worse.

 

The Survey Corps made no show of hiding their presence, not allowing the Military Police to assume they were daunted by the advance on Survey Corps territory. Erwin in particular made a point to work out in the open and with the surrounding community, renewing good faith between the townspeople and the Survey Corps. Levi remained in the safe house for the majority of his time, using his Gear to complete repairs on the outside of the building but otherwise focusing on work inside. He knew his forte wasn’t socializing; he would leave it to the likeable members of his group.

 

Some of the graduates had made the building their new home, stationed there permanently. They worked on constantly improving and fortifying the building against potential attack, and also set up a plan for both guarding the building and scouting out the Military Police’s new base to keep tabs on their development. The Military Police had the king backing them, leaving them plenty of resources to work with. But scouts had indicated that none of the Military Police members looked particularly enthused about being ordered to the outer territories, and their work ethic was suffering.

 

Erwin stayed for two weeks, helping with the repairs and setup as much as everyone else. Eventually he had to return to the castle in order to keep up to date on all of the reports that were too sensitive to be sent anywhere other than headquarters. Levi was accustomed to working and being alone when away from HQ but after two weeks with Erwin close by with him, Levi felt a little bereft when saying goodbye.

 

During the two weeks together in Borna they had shared a bed, which was the closest they had come to publicly announcing their relationship. Not that either of them were ashamed; it was just safer if people weren’t aware of their relationship which could potentially be used against them. It had felt nice to curl up in bed with Erwin each night, the embers glowing warmly in their fireplace as Levi and Erwin talked and kissed.

 

“How much longer are you planning to stay?” Erwin asked Levi as he finished packing provisions in his saddlebag.

 

“Another few weeks, probably,” Levi said. “I can help with the building and I wouldn’t mind doing a bit of spying at night either.”

 

“Are you sure you’re not just staying here to avoid Eren?” Erwin raised an eyebrow. “His withdrawal seems to have set you in a bit of a tizzy.”

 

“What kind of stupid-ass word is ‘tizzy’?” Levi groused to avoid answering the question.

 

Erwin rolled his eyes and touched Levi’s shoulder for a moment, neither of them willing to kiss in public, and then pulled himself up onto his horse. “Come back when you’re ready, Rivaille. But I expect weekly reports at the least.”

 

“Can do,” Levi nodded and stepped away from the horse. Erwin gave him a final nod and smile and then was gone.

 

The next few weeks passed quickly with Levi building and helping with repairs during the day and also becoming increasingly active at night. The dissatisfaction among the Military Police was continuing to hinder them, making their guards unmotivated and lazy. Levi didn’t want to push his luck too badly and didn’t risk entering their new stronghold. He only tracked what sort of supplies were delivered in the middle of the night, how the guard shifts were set up, and any conversations he managed to overhear. His weekly reports generally ended up being multiple pages long.

 

Levi ended up staying in Borna for longer than he really needed to, keeping himself busy to avoid thinking too deeply. Erwin was always too perceptive, calling Levi out on being upset by Eren ignoring him. But that didn’t mean Levi understood why it upset him so badly, or made him withdraw as well rather than return home when he could. Nonetheless, it was only a matter of time before the desire to go back outweighed his hesitance and Levi finally saddled his horse.

 

The ride back alone was dull and long and Levi knew he wouldn’t make it back to the castle until late afternoon. He wasn’t expecting to see anyone else on the journey and grew cautious when he noticed a horse approaching him at a fast pace from the west. The horse slowed as it got closer and Levi’s concern deepened when he saw that it was Petra on the horse and that she was frowning deeply.

 

“Captain!” she called out when she saw that it was him, and they slowed their horses to stand side by side. “Captain Levi, I was on my way to deliver a message to you. It’s Eren.”

 

Levi’s hands tightened their grip on the leather reins. “What about him?” Had Eren been hurt? Was he sick? Levi should’ve gone home sooner!  


Petra looked down sadly. “He ran away.”

 

Levi's heart plummeted. “When? Did anyone see which direction he went?”

 

Petra shook her head. “He must’ve slipped out at night. He’s on foot; no horses are unaccounted for. No one realized until he didn’t show up for training this morning. We have search parties out but I haven’t seen any green smoke signals so no one has found him yet.”

 

Levi closed his eyes for a moment and breathed deeply. Adrenaline was coursing through his veins in fear that Eren might’ve gotten attacked by a wild animal or froze during the chilly night, as well as anger – what had Eren been _thinking_?! Levi had to keep control over himself though; his frantic thoughts wouldn’t be helpful. He had to think about what made sense, where Eren might’ve disappeared to.

 

There were two locations that came to mind; Eren might’ve headed towards Borna where he knew Levi was, or he might’ve headed towards the wall in an attempt to go beyond where Levi had described the hideaway. Except that Eren knew how far the wall was, and how stupid it would be to try to make the trip without a horse. “Did any search parties get sent south?”

 

“Yes. They’ve covered the fields towards the wall as far as someone could get in a day if they ran it,” Petra told him. “Nothing.”

 

The trek to the wall was open fields with no place for Eren to hide. If he had gone that way the search parties would’ve found him. “I think he’s in the forest,” Levi guessed. “Though he’d be further north than this since the last time he made the trip from HQ to town was before we started veering to the south.”

 

He didn’t need to order Petra to change direction; she was already turning her horse north. It reminded Levi that yes, Eren had been entrusted to him, but the whole Survey Corps was a family. Levi followed her and together they headed north through the trees until they reached the old path the Survey Corps used to use when heading to town. It was mostly overgrown now, the path difficult to notice if you didn’t know what you were looking for, but Levi knew that Eren would remember this route.

 

Petra handed Levi a second flare gun and two smoke rounds, one green and one red. Levi hooked it to his belt and then moved his horse into the trees and off the path. Once his horse was out of sight Levi tied the reins to a tree and jumped into the tree canopy with his Gear, glad that he always kept it equipped. He suspected that despite being a complete idiot, Eren would at least be smart enough to stay off the road, and Levi would cover more ground in the air rather than on a horse.

 

It was impossible to tell how far Eren might’ve gotten; if he had passed this point or not even reached it, or if he had even come this direction. Levi was still working on assumptions and it was maddening as self-hatred gnawed at him, telling him that if he had gone home sooner this might not have happened. It was dangerous to be too loud but the forest was too large to search every inch, and before long Levi was calling out Eren’s name. He didn’t stop even when his voice began sounding a bit desperate.

 

Levi landed on a sturdy branch and caught his breath, feeling the air begin to cool as the sun edged towards the horizon. He wondered if he should send off a red smoke round and head back to his horse and regroup with everyone else. They might be able to figure out a section of forest they hadn’t checked yet. Levi pulled the flare gun from his belt but didn’t raise it, yelling one last time as loudly as he could. “ _Eren_!”

 

His voice echoed through the trees and then silence reigned until birds began to chirp again. Levi released the breath he had been holding and loaded the red smoke round. Before he could fire it Levi froze, hearing a faint voice call to him through the branches. “Levi?”

 

Levi spun and took off in the direction of the voice immediately. He found Eren in a tree further away from the path, bundled up in his Survey Corps cloak and settled on a wide tree branch. “Eren,” Levi breathed with relief as he landed in front of the boy. He couldn’t see any obvious injuries but it was hard to tell with the green cloak covering the majority of his body. “Are you hurt?”

 

Eren glared up at him. “Why do you care?”

 

“Don’t test my patience with stupid questions,” Levi said darkly.

 

Eren looked a little pale and answered the initial question. “I’m not hurt. Just cold.”

 

Immediately Levi kneeled in front of Eren and rubbed his hands up and down Eren’s covered arms, trying to share warmth. “If you’re not hurt then why the fuck are you sitting here?”

 

“I was hiding,” Eren mumbled into his cloak, eyes downcast. “I didn’t want anyone to find me.”

 

“So you were just sitting out here to freeze to death?” Levi hissed.

 

He didn’t notice that he was gripping Eren’s arms too tightly until Eren winced. “I heard them looking for me so I hid. I knew if they found me they’d take me back to the castle. As soon as they gave up I was going to keep moving towards Borna. I wanted to see you.”

 

As Levi had suspected, Eren had been on his way to come see Levi. “You’re such a fucking idiot, Eren,” Levi accused even as he moved closer, slipping his hands under Eren’s cloak to hug his waist and pull him closer. “I hate you,” he whispered vehemently, though he knew his desperate hug contradicted his words.

 

Eren understood and hugged him back. “I’m sorry. I just missed you.”

 

“I was coming back today.”

 

“Well how was I supposed to know that?” Eren grumbled. “You left without telling me anything.”

 

Levi sighed and continued to hold Eren close. They had both made mistakes. Eventually Levi pulled away, remembering that the rest of the Survey Corps were still out frantically searching for Eren. “We need to let everyone know you’re okay and head back.”

 

“I didn’t think they’d all care so much if I left,” Eren admitted, not meeting Levi’s gaze.

 

“Don’t kid yourself,” Levi touched Eren’s chin to lift his face, forcing Eren to look at him. “We all care.”

 

Eren blushed but didn’t fight Levi’s hold. After a moment his expression soured. “I’m going to be in so much trouble.”

 

“Damn fucking right you are,” Levi snapped and finally stood, stretching out his stiff legs. “The Commander is going to officially punish you, not to mention the fact that Hanji and Petra are going to both kick your ass.” Levi reached down and dragged Eren to his feet as well. “And don’t think I’m through with you yet either.”

 

Eren’s shoulders were hunched defensively but he didn’t argue. After confirming that Eren had enough air left in his canisters to make it back to Levi’s horse, the two of them launched from the branch and made their way side by side through the trees. Once they reached Levi’s horse Eren untied the reins while Levi switched the smoke round to green, sending it high into the sky.

 

They stood there in silence for a few minutes, neither of them starting up a conversation. Eventually the sound of approaching hooves could be heard. Petra was the first one to reach them and her expression was murderous, causing Eren to hide behind Levi even though it was pointless with Levi being shorter than Eren now.

 

Levi had never seen Petra dismount more swiftly as she reached them and stormed up close enough to yank Eren out from behind Levi. "What did you think you were doing?" she shouted at him, face red as she gave Eren a good swat to the side of the head. "We were all worried _sick_!"

 

"I was going to visit Levi," Eren defended in a weak voice.

 

"If you wanted to visit the Captain then you should've written him a letter first!" Petra said.

 

Eren frowned. "What would a letter have done?"

 

Levi gripped Eren's shoulder, catching his attention. "I would've come back sooner," Levi told him seriously.

 

Eren opened his mouth and then closed it again, his eyes on the ground. "Oh."

 

"Yeah, _oh_. You twat," Levi flicked Eren's temple with his finger but said no more as they heard more horses approaching.

 

Eren already look shamed and his expression only fell further when they saw that Hanji was leading the nearest search party. "Eren Jaeger, I'm going to string you up by your toes!" Hanji yelled as zhe approached, two soldiers from zher squad flanking zher.

 

"Hide me," Eren pleaded, clutching at Levi's coat.

 

Levi shook his head. "You forget that I will be punishing you as well. And I think letting the others punish you as they see fit without intervening is punishment enough."

 

"Levi," Eren whined but by then Hanji was in front of them.

 

Hanji's glasses flashed as zhe pushed them back onto the bridge of zher nose, Hanji glaring down at Eren from zher horse to pin him in place. "Do you have _any_ idea about the sort of trouble you're in?"

 

"More and more by the minute," Eren seemed to physically shrink.

 

"Get on the horse. We're going back," Hanji snapped.

 

Levi couldn't even remember the last time he had seen Hanji so angry, and he wasn't about to argue. He tugged Eren over to his horse and, realizing that Eren was still stiff from sitting motionless in the chilled air for a while, offered a hand to pull Eren up into the saddle with him. There wasn't nearly as much room as when Eren was young but it would work long enough to get them all back to the castle.

 

The entire ride back to HQ was silent, Eren somehow managing to shrink in on himself even more as the minutes passed by and no one said anything. Things got even worse when they rode into the courtyard and found Eren’s entire trainee class standing there in formation, with Commander Erwin standing on the steps watching them arrive. Even from across the courtyard Levi could see that Erwin’s face was a hard mask of disappointment.

 

“Levi?” Eren whispered, sounding genuinely scared.

 

“Take responsibility for your actions,” Levi told him, slipping from the saddle first and then giving Eren space to dismount as well. Levi was confused when Eren rushed forward and gave him a tight hug, clutching desperately to Levi’s coat. Levi was still angry with Eren but he could tell there was some deep-rooted fear driving this that Levi didn’t understand, so he gave Eren a small hug back before nudging him forward.

 

Eren bit his lip and walked across the courtyard to stand in front of Erwin, no longer slouching defensively. “Trainee Eren Jaeger,” Erwin’s voice boomed across the courtyard, demanding attention. “Explain yourself.”

 

“I—” Eren’s voice broke and he blushed but continued. “I snuck out at night and took air canisters from our supply to travel to Borna with my Manoeuvre Gear. Sir.”

 

“Why?”

 

Eren opened his mouth. _I just missed you_ , Eren had said to Levi in the forest. Levi was expecting the same answer now and was surprised when he heard Eren say instead, “There is no excuse for my actions, sir.”

 

Erwin looked mildly surprised and also impressed, though Levi doubted anyone other than Levi would recognize the subtle shift in his expression. “I hope you understand the gravity of the situation. In tense times like these it is important for all of us to communicate and work together. Instead of trusting us you brashly ventured out on your own. We wasted valuable time and resources searching for you, and if you had been captured you could’ve been used to weaken us.”

 

Eren bowed his head. “I understand. I’m sorry.”

 

“Consider yourself grounded – no Gear use – for a month, and also tasked with helping clean out the stables after your training for the next two weeks,” Erwin ordered. Levi tried to see Eren’s face, knowing Survey Corps members were always stricken when they were grounded with their Manoeuvre Gear taken away after they had experienced the exhilarating freedom of flight.

 

To his continued surprise, while Eren looked sad, he also looked somewhat relieved. “Yes, sir.”

 

“To the rest of you, let this be a lesson,” Erwin turned his gaze to the rest of the trainees who all stood a little taller. “We are all a team and we must trust and rely on each other. And _no one_ is exempt from the rules. Now that everyone is back you will begin your afternoon training. Dismissed.”

 

Erwin headed inside and everyone else began to move, Petra, Hanji and the others leading their horses towards the stables to untack them. Mike caught the trainees' attention and began going over the drills they would be practicing that day. Eren remained standing at the base of the stairs for another moment, staring at nothing, and then moved to join the group. His gaze caught Levi’s across the courtyard but Eren looked away quickly and didn’t seek him out again once he was in the middle of the trainees’ formation.

 

Levi led his horse to the stables and then headed inside the castle. He spent an hour updating Erwin on his last few days in Borna, sharing more details than he felt were not safe to include in his normal paper reports. Once that was done he headed back outside to watch the trainees, his lingering adrenaline from worrying about Eren causing him to feel restless.

 

Levi had dinner with Erwin and by the time he returned to his own rooms he found that Eren had already arrived, using his key to sneak in and curl up on the couch. Eren was awake and lifted his head as Levi entered, tracking him with tired eyes. “That’s what you get for sneaking out in the middle of the night rather than getting sleep,” Levi chided as he flopped down on the couch by Eren’s head.

 

Eren yawned and shuffled a tiny bit closer until the top of his head nudged Levi’s thigh. “I’m just glad that I’m still here. I thought Erwin was going to banish me. I thought I’d never see you again.”

 

That would explain Eren’s fear before going to Erwin, and his relief after hearing his punishment. “Don’t be so dramatic,” Levi said, though his voice wasn’t harsh.

 

Eren sighed and rolled onto his back, blinking up at Levi. “Do you think you could get my Gear back for me?”

 

“I could,” Levi said. “But I won’t.”

 

Eren scowled. “Why? Don’t want to piss off your boyfriend?”

 

“No, because I agree with him,” Levi sighed. “You made a stupid mistake and you need to live with the consequences.”

 

“What about you?” Eren asked sullenly. “You just upped and left and you don’t have any consequences.”

 

“Of course I do,” Levi snapped. “I keep thinking about how my choices and actions could’ve led to your death. Do you have any idea what that sort of weight feels like?”

 

Eren stared up at him, looking a bit lost. “I didn’t think about that.”

 

“You rarely think at all,” Levi accused. 

 

His urge was to pet Eren's hair but that would negate any threat of punishment so he held back. They stayed on the couch in silence for a few minutes, Eren looking dangerously close to falling asleep. Levi closed his own eyes and let his head rest back against the couch, enjoying the peace. Then Eren's hesitant voice picked up. "So you and Erwin _are_ together, right?"

 

Levi cracked an eye open to look down at Eren. "Why do you always pry about that? Do you hope that I'll say no so you can feel better?"

 

"I...maybe," Eren hesitated. Perhaps he had never really considered his motivations for asking before. He looked troubled and offered a different question. "Does he make you happy?"

 

Levi studied Eren's face, reading genuine curiosity there. "He does."

 

Eren pursed his lips and then sighed, closing his eyes again. "I guess I'll accept it then."

 

"How gracious," Levi said sarcastically. "It only took you three years." Eren didn't respond, either pretending to be nearly asleep or actually drifting off. Levi nudged Eren's head with his thigh. "Go sleep. We'll restart your evening training tomorrow."

 

"M'kay," Eren mumbled and rubbed at his eyes as he pulled himself off the couch slowly. "G'night."

 

"Goodnight," Levi said in return, following Eren to the door and locking it behind him as Eren headed down the hall towards the barracks.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes: Levi stumbles across Eren in a compromising position, plus some Jean/Marco :)

Safe houses scattered throughout the territories had become bases of operation. Tensions were rising not just in the outer territories but in the inner-most cities as well. Survey Corps members didn't even need to risk entering the cities closest to the king – though some did regardless. Normal citizens had begun to listen to the stories the Survey Corps were telling of the horrible conditions closer to the outer wall, and while some shrugged them off and accused them of being ungrateful and power-hungry, others were taking a stand.

 

By the time Eren and the other trainees were fifteen, one year of their training complete, Levi and other officials began taking them in groups to Borna and other nearby cities. Their training continued whenever they were at the castle; hand to hand combat, sword techniques, and Gear training all with increasing complexity and diligence as they continued. And then in their small groups in the cities they would put their skills of observation and tracking to the test and practicing guard rotations.

 

Erwin had explained that while he wanted his trainees to be safe while they learned, he didn't want them to be completely overwhelmed or endangered by their lack of experience beyond the castle walls. They had already experienced this problem; some of the graduates from the previous training group getting themselves killed by making poor decisions in terms of trust and judgement when dealing with citizens and Military Police beyond the safety of HQ.

 

Levi had demanded he command whatever group Eren was assigned to, and Erwin wasn't stupid enough to argue. For the most part the kids could request who they wanted in their group, but some assignments still happened to make the groups similar in numbers. Levi ended up being in charge of Eren, Mikasa, Armin, Sasha, Connie, Jean, Christa and Ymir. Despite the bickering that often filled the air as soon as Eren and Jean were within shouting distance of each other, Levi didn't mind his group.

 

They were all very different but that could be an asset as long as they learned to work together, which Levi made certain that they did. They were assigned to Borna, and while Levi never asked and Erwin never said, Levi suspected that he had been assigned the closest city to be faster in returning to HQ. The majority of trainees were always at castle, with just one group venturing out at a time, and each trip lasting one month before they returned and the next group would go.

 

Levi took the time in Borna to give each of his eight wards special training and to determine their strengths and weaknesses. He didn't bother trying to split up the pairs, recognizing that getting between Christa and Ymir would be an unnecessarily dangerous move. Curiously he had also noticed that Mikasa had finally grown comfortable with some distance between herself and Eren and had instead inherited a new friend in the form of Sasha. Levi wondered if there might be more when he saw Mikasa occasionally allowing Sasha to take some extra food from her plate at dinnertime but had decided that it was better for his own sanity if he just avoided the topic of teen romance altogether.

 

After his promise to accept Levi's relationship with Erwin, Eren had also seemed to settle down somewhat. They still trained each night and Eren sometimes lingered in Levi's rooms when they were done, taking advantage of their years growing up together to snuggle close to Levi and get a hair petting. Levi didn't mind since Eren's motivations seemed more innocent now, and stroking the boy's hair had also become therapeutic for him as well.

 

Levi was grateful for the change in their relationship. It meant he could still spend extra time together with Eren – something he had always enjoyed immensely ever since inheriting the boy over seven years ago. And yet he wouldn't need to worry about confusing Eren or leading him on. Boundaries had been set and Levi no longer felt like he had to hold himself back, and his strong connection with Eren slowly began to rebuild.

 

Of course, that didn't mean that Levi was prepared when he accidentally stumbled across Eren getting a blowjob one evening in the castle basement. Levi was heading downstairs to get some supplies for Hanji and one of zher experiments. The hallways were dark and quiet, only a few torches lit here and there for anyone who might need to venture down into the basement. No one really headed down there unless they were completing their guard rounds or getting something from a supply closet so Levi wasn't expecting to run into anyone.

 

That was why, when he heard a soft moan and the scuff of a boot, Levi tensed. He stepped around a corner and nearly dropped his lantern when the light illuminated what was a few feet in front of him. Eren was leaning back against the stone wall, his shirt shoved halfway up his chest and his pants halfway down his legs to show off his toned stomach and thighs. His cock was swollen and currently being swallowed down by another boy Levi recognized from Erd's group of trainees.

 

Levi thought he remembered the boy's name to be Greg, but it didn't make him feel better by knowing. All Levi could feel was building _outrage_. Who the fuck did this boy think he was to touch Eren like that? To pin Eren's hips to the wall and take more, disgusting drool dribbling from the corner of his mouth. Who was he to have Eren's fingers knotted in his hair, pulling him closer as Eren's glazed eyes fell from the ceiling over to Levi with dazed disbelief?

 

"Levi..." Eren called after him but Levi was already gone, storming back up the stairs and heading straight to Hanji's office. He should've pulled Greg off and dragged Eren away but Levi hadn't wanted to get closer, to encroach any further on the scene he already wished he could bleach from his memory.

 

Hanji's door fell open with a bang as Levi stepped in and set his lantern down on one of Hanji's shelves. Hanji looked up from the book zhe was reading at zher desk and studied him over the rim of zher glasses. "What the hell happened to you? And where is my extra parchment?"

 

"I walked in on one of the trainees sucking Eren off," Levi said in a rush, cringing as the mental image attacked him again.

 

Hanji continued to stare at him, building Levi's anger. "So?"

 

"So?" Levi repeated. "Who does he think he is? He's a nobody! Eren shouldn't be doing _that_ with just any guy—"

 

"And who do you think would be _acceptable_ for Eren?" Hanji drawled. "You?"

 

Levi scowled. "No! Of course not. Just not... _him_."

 

"Why do you care who Eren takes a fancy to? You're the one who told Eren to find someone else after his infatuation with you. That's exactly what he's done," Hanji pointed out. "And you're a damn fool if you think you get to choose who he ends up with."

 

"But at least if it was one of Eren's friends I'd understand—"

 

Hanji cut him off again, sounding impatient. "You don't need to _understand_. It's his sex life, not yours. And it's not like you're around Eren all day anymore; he could be closer friends with this kid than you think." Hanji said. "I know it's weird since you took care of him as a kid and watched him grow; we all did. But he's almost sixteen. Honestly I'd be concerned if he _wasn't_ going around getting some action by now."

 

"It's not that..." Levi groaned, though he was struggling to remember his argument.

 

"Maybe you just don't like the idea of someone else becoming a more important part of Eren's life than you are," Hanji suggested, not unkindly.

 

"What if this kid hurts Eren?" Levi grumbled rather than think too hard on Hanji's hypothesis. He didn't want to consider the fact that he was jealous of some random sixteen year old boy, especially when he had no reason to be jealous of Greg's closeness to Eren.

 

Hanji shrugged, zher glasses gleaming in the torchlight. "Then we gut him. C'mon, just sit down and breathe for a minute. This isn't the end of the world."

 

Levi sat on the edge of Hanji's bed and even though he could feel how tense his shoulders were, he couldn't shake it off. Instead he watched Hanji return to reading and eventually stole another book from zher table to read as well in an attempt to blot out the image of Eren and Greg that kept coming back.

 

By now the majority of the books collected from the Shiganshina District eight years ago had been read, mostly by Erwin and Hanji but with Levi and other high ranking officials being entrusted with a few as well. Unfortunately most of the information in the books was theories only or out of date but Erwin was determined that they read each book for any information since a few books had proven useful. Some had detailed the inner workings of the Military Police and the King's palace – not that Levi suspected Erwin of even considering taking the fight so deep into Military Police territory.

 

The book Levi had chosen was on various bird migration paths and it did nothing to keep Levi's attention diverted. After a while Levi dropped the book back on Hanji's desk and instead rested his elbows on his thighs, digging the heels of his palms against his eyes. Why could he not stop thinking about it? Why did he keep seeing the dip of Eren's waist, the shadows fill his bellybutton, the tremor in his legs?

 

"You knew this day would come," Hanji's voice caught his attention. "You wanted it to."

 

"I know." But it didn't make him feel any better.

 

Hanji sighed and smacked zher book lightly against the top of Levi's head. "Do I really have to remind you that Eren isn't going anywhere?"

 

"No."

 

"Then stop sulking," Hanji chided him, though the way zhe squeezed his shoulder was comforting. "How about some tea?"

 

Levi yawned but nodded, unwilling to turn down tea. Together they made their way down to the dining hall, which always had a small section of snacks and drinks set up for anyone who might wake up hungry or thirsty in the middle of the night. Levi worked on the tea since Hanji always made it too strong and then they sat down side by side at one of the empty tables with their steaming mugs and talked.

 

It felt good to talk with Hanji for a while; they were always so busy that they didn't make time for it much anymore. Hanji was always caught up with zher reading and experiments, as well as leading certain training classes. And Levi had his group of trainees to watch over in Borna, not to mention general training and other missions he went on to keep tabs on Military Police developments for Erwin. Each day was structured and busy, and it was relaxing to just lean back in his chair, sip tea and chat. Hanji was one of the few people Levi didn't mind sharing random conversation with.

 

When their cups were empty and Levi's eyes were beginning to droop he forced himself to stand, Hanji following his lead. Levi was intent on getting into bed and falling asleep before his mind began to wake up and wander again, but Hanji caught his shoulder again before Levi could walk past zher door towards his own. Levi looked back at zher questioningly. "He still looks at you differently than everyone else, you know."

 

Levi rolled his eyes and shrugged off zher hand. "He can fuck whoever he wants, Hanji. I'm not going to cry about it."

 

"If you say so," Hanji said easily with zher own shrug before disappearing into zher room with a cheerful, "Goodnight!"

 

Levi huffed and headed back to his own room, sliding under the cool sheets almost immediately. It was difficult at first to clear his mind, his thoughts again drawing up unwanted mental images and also pestering Levi with nagging questions: how far had they gone? Had they gone back to the barracks to sleep yet? Was Eren okay?

 

Eventually Levi did manage to drift off to sleep, but it was a fitful sleep that left him tired and groggy the next morning. The next day at training his eyes met Eren's and then they both looked away. After that things returned to normal. Eren didn't talk to Levi about it and Levi didn't ask. But Levi never managed to fully shake the sense of unsettled discomfort.

 

#

 

Levi jolted out of sleep and lifted the dagger from beneath his pillow instinctively. Then he gave a grunt when he felt a warm hand grip his wrist and pin his hand clutching the dagger. There weren't many people who knew how Levi reacted to being woken up at night; they only learned if they had experienced it from sharing a bed with him. However, that logic didn't click in as Levi lifted his other hand to punch the person above him.

 

The person barely dodged, Levi making contact with a collarbone and causing a sharp gasp of pain. "Fuck off, Levi! It's just me."

 

Levi knew that voice and it stilled him long enough for his eyes to adjust to the darkness. When he saw Eren's face above him Levi released the dagger from his grasp, his body relaxing. "What the fuck are you doing in here so late?" Levi demanded. "And pinning me, I might add."

 

"I know how you are with that dagger and I'd really rather not get my throat slit," Eren defended. Eren let go of Levi's wrist and brought his hand up to massage his collarbone, wincing upon contact.

 

"Okay, but you still haven't answered _why_." Levi's heart was only beginning to calm down.

 

Eren moved to sit beside Levi rather than kneel above him. "I need you to come with me. I think Jean is spying on us for the Military Police."

 

Levi sat up in a rush. "I know you don't like the guy but that is a serious accusation to make."

 

Eren's gaze was strong. "And I'm making it seriously."

 

Levi pushed his hair away from his face, forcing his mind to wake up fully and focus. "What's your proof?"

 

Eren bit his lip. "I don't have definite proof. But just listen," he gripped Levi's shirt and stopped him from lying back down. "A short time after we started coming to Borna in our group I woke up one night and noticed that Jean's bed was empty. I've stayed up other nights and saw him leave, though he's always back in the morning." When Levi's group had first begun their visits to Borna, all the guys and all of the girls had shared large rooms. Now that they were a bit older and the building had been expanded, everyone had their own temporary room to call their own.

 

"We've been coming here for over a year. Our group has come at least five times. Why didn't you say anything sooner?" Levi asked. Already his brain was churning, trying to remember any suspicious activity over the last year or any information that Jean could've leaked to the Military Police.

 

"I didn't know his schedule. We all have different nights when we do night guard watch," Eren defended. "And look at how you're reacting _now_. If I had just seen him sneak out once you would've brushed me off." Eren leaned closer, edging into Levi's personal space again. "Please believe me. He just left before I came."

 

Levi sighed and got out of bed, stretching out his muscles. "Go back to your room and get changed into your Gear. I'll be there in two minutes." Eren nodded and rushed back out into the hallway on quiet feet. Levi pushed the door closed and quickly stripped out of his sleeping clothes. He pulled on his uniform and Gear, fastening his cloak around his neck when he saw that frost had drawn designs on the windows. Levi walked into Eren's room without knocking and looked away when he saw Eren bare-chested as he fought with his shirt. "Pick up the pace," Levi snapped.

 

"Kind of hard in the dark!" Eren shot right back. Levi could hear the clench of Eren's teeth as the fabric of the sleeves got even more tangled.

 

"For fuck's sake," Levi said and stood in front of Eren. He found the collar and tugged it over Eren's big head and then grabbed the sleeves, untangling them well enough for Eren to slip his arms through. Levi tugged the hem down and ignored it when his fingers brushed Eren's skin. "Faster," he ordered, snapping his fingers impatiently as Eren fumbled into his Gear and got all the straps buckled up. "Good."

 

"How are we going to follow him?" Eren asked breathlessly as they both raced down the stairs and out into the alley.

 

"We're going straight for the Military Police complex and we'll see if we see him around the area. If not then we'll spread our search and possibly call in backup until we find out where he disappeared to," Levi explained. "Now shut up and go."

 

Levi launched from the ground into the sky and Eren followed right behind him. It was helpful that they had been using their Gear together for years; it meant that they didn't need to exchange much conversation in order to follow each other's moves over the rooftops. Actually, under less stressful circumstances, flying with Eren would've been nice. They didn't have many opportunities outside of training to sail side by side like this anymore, and Levi realized suddenly that he missed it.

 

They landed on a rooftop about a block away from the large building housing the Military Police's Borna squad. Levi held out a hand to stop Eren and then made a circle with his finger, indicating that they would circle the perimeter. Eren nodded and this time they launched in sync with one another, flying together in the shadows so that anyone watching wouldn't be able to pick them out.

 

It was on the far side of the building that Levi's ears noticed something. He grabbed Eren's arm and they landed side by side and lowered to their stomachs. In the shadow of a large chimney they glanced over the peak of the roof to look at the building beyond. "Is that him?"

 

"Shh!" Levi elbowed Eren to shut him up, not bothering to point out that Eren should be better at distinguishing Jean than Levi would.

 

Once the boy stepped briefly out of the shadows and into the moonlight Levi was certain that it was Jean. He felt a twist of betrayal in his gut but his instincts told him to hold back and wait, and he gripped the leather strap on Eren's thigh to keep him from rushing out into the open as well. Eren sent Levi a confused look but didn't fight him, trusting Levi's judgement.

 

Both of them continued to watch as Jean threw a few stones against a window on the second floor; the quiet tapping was the sound that had originally caught Levi's attention. Jean ducked back into the shadows and waited. After a moment the window opened and Levi saw another boy – probably around sixteen like Eren and Jean – poke his head out. The boy was decorated with freckles across his cheeks as he squinted out into the darkness. "Jean?" he whispered as loudly as he probably dared.

 

"Hurry, Marco!" Jean whispered back.

 

Levi studied the surrounding rooftops. He didn't seen any Military Police currently on patrol but that didn't mean someone wouldn't pass by soon. The Military Police boy, Marco, slid out onto the windowsill. He left the window just slightly ajar and then dropped down, using his own set of Gear to slow his descent. Levi knew the Military Police had their own Gear but wasn't close enough to study the differences in Marco's set before Marco ran into the shadows to join Jean.

 

He heard their footsteps rushing through the alleys and with only a quick look to Eren, both of them followed. The two boys tucked themselves into a dark alley and Levi and Eren perched on the roof above them. It was too dark in the alley to make out any details as clouds began to drift over the moon, but the sudden sound of lips locking in a passionate kiss was unmistakeable.

 

"I missed you so much."

 

"I missed you too."

 

More kissing, a grunt, and a heavy exhale when someone tripped and fell back against a wall. Levi looked over when he felt Eren tense beside him. His eyebrows furrowed in confusion when he saw Eren covering his face. "What's wrong with you?" Levi whispered under his breath. "Don't tell me you like Jean." Had all of the bickering and fighting been a mask for real longing? Had Greg just been a substitute?

 

"Mind your own business!" Eren hissed back.

 

Levi's jaw clenched. "So you _do_ like Jean."

 

"No! Even if he was attractive, which he's not, or if he had a good personality, which he doesn't, I—" Eren cut himself off and clenched his eyes closed, his hands balled into fists. "I'm not interested in Jean."

 

Something was bothering Eren about this situation even if he wouldn't explain. It wasn't the right time for Levi to pry though, not wanting to risk being overheard or having their attention sidetracked and allowing some Military Police scout to stumble across them. Levi dropped the subject and instead glanced back down into the alley. As a sliver of moonlight broke through the clouds he could see Jean leaning back against the alley wall, Marco's hands holding his hips as they kissed and finally broke apart, their foreheads pressed together.

 

"Come back with me, Marco," Jean begged, his arms wound tightly around Marco's shoulders to keep him close. "I'm sure if we just explained—"

 

Marco shook his head. "Why would the Survey Corps _ever_ trust me?" his voice was pained. "I've been with the Military Police for years. They'd just think I'm trying to infiltrate and steal secrets. And it'll put you in danger if they find out you've been sneaking here to see me. I won't allow that."

 

"We'll talk to them," Jean insisted. "We'll do whatever it takes to make them understand."

 

"And what if they just don't listen?" Marco said sadly. "As long as I stay with the Military Police I'm safe. But as soon as they find out about this—about you—!" Marco's fingers clutched tighter, wrinkling Jean's shirt. "I'm scared about what they'd do, Jean. They—" Marco sighed quickly. "What they've done to traitors..."

 

"I won't let you go back there," Jean said. "I can't say goodbye to you again, knowing that you could be in danger. Please, come back with me."

 

"And if the Survey Corps reject me?" Marco leaned his whole body against Jean as though exhausted.

 

Jean held him up. "Then we'll run away together. They've taught me how to survive in the wild if I need to. We'll just run and make a life for ourselves, away from this whole shitty war."

 

"You'd really...?" Marco looked at Jean. "You'd give up everything? For me? I could never ask you to do such a thing."

 

"You don't need to ask," Jean told him. "If it was our only way to be together, I would do it happily."

 

"Oh, Jean," Marco breathed and pulled Jean into a deep kiss. Even from a distance through the shadows Levi could see the way their bodies tilted into each other, their embrace familiar and caring. There was real love between these two boys, though Levi had no idea when they had met and found the time to develop such a strong bond. Levi would have to confront Jean about this, sooner rather than later, but for now he wasn't going to steal this moment from them.

 

This time when they broke apart Jean sounded excited. "Let's go now!"

 

"Jean, wait," Marco dug his heels in. Clearly the Military Police boy was the logical one in the pair while Jean was filled with a fiery impatience that reminded Levi very much of Eren. Maybe that's why they didn't get along; they were too similar. "We need to take some time to build up our supplies in case the Survey Corps say no. When are you scheduled to be back in Borna?"

 

"I don't know," Jean admitted. "They don't confirm our schedules until shortly before we leave to avoid leaked information. But probably not for a few months."

 

Marco nodded, still pinning Jean between his body and the wall. "That's smart. I'll be here no matter what so I'll stock what supplies and money I can. When you get back you can come to my window like normal."

 

They stared at each other for another moment, perhaps in slight shock that they were actually going to do this. Then they fell into another kiss, Marco's fingers quickly knotting in Jean's hair. It didn't look like they planned on stopping anytime soon. Levi nudged Eren to get his attention and tilted his head back in the direction of their base. "Let's let them have their moment," Levi whispered.

 

Eren nodded and they both took off as quietly as they could manage, leaving the two lovers behind. Back in the Survey Corps safe house they headed upstairs, avoiding the creaky floorboards. Eren made a move to disappear into his room but Levi caught Eren's wrist and dragged him further down the hall to Levi's own room.

 

As soon as the door was closed Levi pulled Eren into a tight hug. He wound one arm around Eren's waist while his other arm hooked on Eren's shoulders, forcing him to bend over slightly with his few extra inches of height. Eren grunted but didn't fight him. "The hell? What's wrong?" Eren asked a bit worriedly.

 

"Just shut up for a damn second," Levi ordered.

 

They stood in silence for a moment and slowly Eren's body relaxed, his arms circling Levi hesitantly. Levi sighed against Eren's cloak as relief washed through him. He didn't understand it; neither of them had been in danger of getting hurt or killed. Perhaps seeing Jean and Marco embrace with such desperate desire had reminded Levi to cherish what he was lucky enough to have, to be grateful for the people he cared about in his life. Regardless of the reasoning, hugging Eren felt right in that moment and he didn't pull away until the unrest in his mind quietened.

 

Finally Levi took a half-step back. Except he didn't go anywhere because Eren just held Levi tighter, his face pressed against Levi's shoulder. Levi hugged him for a minute longer, thinking idly about how he could enjoy it if this became their new way of sharing comfort now that Eren was too big to be held in Levi's arms and carried around. But he could only stand there for so long, enveloped in Eren's warmth, and Levi eventually had to fight out of Eren's hug. "Enough."

 

Eren released him but stood close. "What was that all about? Are you sick?"

 

"I'm allowed to hug you if I want, brat," Levi huffed, flicking a finger against Eren's forehead. "And you did good tonight."

 

Eren beamed. "Are you going to talk to Jean tomorrow?"

 

"No," Levi told him. "If Jean hasn't said anything to Marco and the Military Police yet, he probably won't before we head back to HQ in two days. I want to talk to Erwin about this before we confront Jean. But you should still keep an eye on him without being too obvious." Out of nowhere Levi yawned and he remembered that it was the middle of the night. "For now we both need sleep so get back to your room."

 

Eren shifted his weight and opened his mouth, hesitated, and then seemed to change his mind. "Goodnight, Levi," Eren wished softly with a smile before exiting out into the hallway.

 

"Goodnight, Eren," Levi muttered to himself, flopping down into bed without even taking the time to peel off his Gear straps.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes: Levi forgets what boundaries are when it comes to Eren; plus the trio make another appearance.

"Are you out of your fucking mind?" Levi cursed. "They're too young to take beyond the wall!"

 

"You're letting your concern for Eren cloud your logic," Erwin accused. "We normally take them over the wall when they're seventeen anyway. That's only six months from now for many of them, and a year at most for the youngest."

 

"It's not just Eren I'm thinking about!" Levi snapped, furious that Erwin would imply that Levi didn't care about the other trainees in his group, or the whole group at large. "Can't I just lead a small squad of officials?"

 

Erwin was already shaking his head. "Taking a larger group will draw more attention."

 

"You just want a bigger target," Levi sneered. "What could be so important beyond the wall?"

 

"It concerns me that those kids tried to steal the Gear from us, and what they mentioned about a larger group ordering them on this mission," Erwin said. "I want to know who they are, what they know and what they want. Some scouts on the wall said they saw three people in the forest just yesterday and they seem to match the description of those three kids you had an encounter with. I want to know why they're still nearby."

 

"I understand why you want us to leave so quickly even though we just got back to HQ," Levi said. "But I think you're making a mistake in sending the trainees."

 

"I know you are concerned for them," Erwin said softly. "But I think you need to have more faith in their abilities." Levi clenched his teeth together so tightly that his jaw ached, but he remained silent. "I would send Mike with you but he won't be back for a few days, so your group will be going with Auruo's and Gunter's groups. Hanji and Erd will be joining you as added support, though Erd's group will remain behind." Levi ignored how pleased he was at hearing that Greg would not be coming.

 

"You act like this is a normal 'over the wall' training trip but it's not. Normally we take them to collect resources, give them a chance to live in the forest, and maybe fight a few wild animals if they _have to_." Levi continued to fight. "You're now asking me to put them deliberately in harm's way to draw in potentially dangerous enemies just because your damn curiosity can't be satiated! And what about the situation with Jean? You barely even blinked when I told you."

 

"I'm not going to do anything about Jean at the moment," Erwin informed him. "Nothing should even come up until you're back in Borna a few months from now. We'll keep an eye on him but I'd like to leave it alone for now." Erwin must've seen Levi's bewildered look. "People are always most honest when they think no one is watching, Rivaille."

 

"More life lessons; just what I need," Levi drawled and then sighed. "I should get going. We'll have to pack quickly if we plan to leave before lunch."

 

"Levi, wait," Erwin followed Levi to do the door and caught his arm in a loose grip. Levi half turned and felt his heart ache when he saw genuine pain on Erwin's face. "I am truly sorry."

 

Levi swallowed and turned to face Erwin fully. "Someone has to be willing to make these choices."

 

"Sometimes I wish it wasn't me," Erwin confessed. His hand slid up to cup Levi's neck. "Especially when it hurts you."

 

Levi took a deep breath, centering himself and controlling his anger until it faded. "We'll manage," he assured himself and Erwin. "The kids are good; smart and strong."

 

"They are, and led by the best," Erwin leaned down to kiss Levi softly. "Don't stay longer than you have to. If they've already moved on, come back over the wall. I don't want you all out there surveying the wilderness without more recon."

 

"Understood," Levi said and then slipped out of Erwin's grasp, heading down the hall to pack a travel bag.

 

Once everyone finished packing they grouped together in the courtyard and Erwin explained the mission to everyone in as much detail as they needed to know. Levi and the other officials had been given more detailed information while the trainees were just given the basic goals and rules for certain situations that may arise. One thing Erwin insisted on was that no one take their Gear off at any time, in the hopes of avoiding another theft attempt. Levi stood quietly off to the side, grasping the reins for both his horse and Eren's tightly in one hand.

 

At the end of the talk they were dismissed and everyone returned to their horses to finish getting packed and pulling themselves into the saddle. As Eren approached Levi pulled him aside, speaking to him quietly away from the rest of his group. "Eren, I know you have a tendency to get cocky since you've already been beyond the wall." Eren scowled but didn't get a chance to argue as Levi continued. "This isn't just training, okay? I need you to stick close to me."

 

"Levi, I'll be fine," Eren pouted. "I've had more training than any of them."

 

"I know, and I'm trusting you to help me keep everyone safe," Levi said. "But I also need _you_ to be safe."

 

"You're not supposed to have favourites, Captain," Eren teased.

 

Levi frowned. "Yeah, well I do, so deal with it." Eren looked surprised even as he grinned. "Just promise me that you'll stay close."

 

"I will," Eren gave a determined nod and Levi finally handed the reins over.

 

They rode to the wall quickly and arrived a few hours before dinnertime. They stopped at the stables and handed off the horses to be taken care of and sat down under the shadow of the wall for a snack. Levi knew they would need to have some food in their bodies and some rest since after scaling the wall they would need to set up camp and prepare for the evening, not to mention who would be taking the first round of guard duty.

 

As Levi looked around he could tell how nervous the trainees were, the three groups huddling closer together and chatting quietly while the officials sat in their own small circle. Hanji caught Levi's eye. "You should probably say something to them."

 

"Erwin already gave a speech," Levi pointed out. "What do you want me to say?"

 

"Your group at least knows you really well. Hearing you talk about this will mean more than the Commander, and then they'll be able to reassure the trainees from Auruo's and Gunter's groups," Hanji said.

 

"You do it," Levi continued to sip his tea. "You're better at that stuff anyway."

 

"Just because I know how to talk in front of groups doesn't mean my words will mean as much to them," Hanji reasoned, giving Levi an expectant look.

 

With a sigh Levi set his cup down and stood up. Everyone fell silent immediately as they turned to stare at him. Levi didn't allow himself to shift his weight from one foot to the other. "I want to clarify that this isn't training; it's an actual mission. So don't think you can just jerk off and frolic while we're over there." Levi noticed Hanji covering zher face with zher hands. A few trainees laughed uncertainly. "Just trust yourself and each other. You're all coming back safely and that's an order."

 

Everyone continued to stare at him and Levi slowly sat back down. Silence rang through the forest until Hanji snorted loudly into zher hands, breaking out into a fit of laughter. "Never again are you being tasked with giving a speech."

 

Others began to chuckle as well and conversation picked back up. Levi hunched his shoulders and returned to his cup of tea. "It was your damn idea."

 

Hanji was laughing so hard Levi could see tears streaming down zher cheeks. "I stand corrected."

 

"Maybe you should get the Commander to give you a few lessons," Auruo smirked, snickering into his own mug of tea.

 

"Fuck off, Auruo," Levi grumbled, and sent Gunter and Erd a glare each before they even dared to say anything.

 

Finally Hanji stopped cackling and the topic was dropped. Before long it was time to wash the dishes and prepare to scale the wall, everyone with their own Gear and travel bag filled with essentials on their back. They were organized into three rows, Levi's group first with Levi on one end and Hanji on the other. Auruo and his group were next, followed up by Gunter's group, watched over by Gunter and Erd. Although Levi didn't like to be predictable, he knew the best chance they had of running into anyone beyond the wall would be if they used the same forest clearing for camping. So he would be leading and everyone else would follow behind him.

 

"Bet I can beat you to the other side," Eren challenged under his breath, standing tall beside Levi.

 

"Didn't I just say there would be no fucking around?" Levi said.

 

"Beyond the wall, sure. But we're fine here," Eren smirked. "Unless you're scared you'll lose."

 

"You're on, you little shit," he huffed. Levi looked down the row to Hanji, who gave him a thumbs-up. When looking back, the other officials each gave him a thumbs-up signal as well. "Up and over!" Levi said loudly enough for the group to hear and launched immediately. Eren was right there beside him, climbing with the speed and skill to rival Levi's quick ascent; he had learned well over the years.

 

Levi reached the top of the wall first and dashed forward, Eren a second behind him as they both jumped off the far edge and began their descent. Levi was barely ahead and the ground was approaching quickly, but Eren wasn't releasing his grappling hooks to slow his descent. Scared that Eren was too determined to win to think smart, and with no time to yell out a warning, Levi released his own hooks and swung sideways, catching Eren in his arms.

 

Eren's arms wrapped around Levi instinctively and Levi could feel Eren's heart racing, their bodies pressed together. Levi lowered them down to the ground and released his grappling hook, Eren stepping out of Levi's grasp on wobbly legs and a dorky grin. "Wow, so is the secret to more hugs just acting like an idiot?"

 

"I'll fucking skin you," Levi pushed Eren away. "You should've slowed down long before that."

 

"I would have been fine," Eren was still grinning, excitable with the adrenaline in his veins.

 

"You _might_ have been fine," Levi shot back. "If you had miscalculated and gotten injured you would've put this whole mission at risk."

 

Eren's smile fell, his whole body deflating. "I can't do anything right," Eren whispered dejectedly and walked back to the base of the wall to call out encouragements and offer a hand to anyone who was still a little unsteady with their Gear. Levi wondered if he had been too rash in his reaction but tried to shrug his discomfort off; he had to do what was necessary to keep the whole group safe and to successfully complete this mission.

 

Once everyone had landed Levi led them further into the forest towards the clearing they would use for camping. Eren was no longer at his side but had instead chosen to fly alongside Armin and Mikasa through the trees but Levi didn't spend time looking back at him. Everyone had their own task when they arrived at their destination; some setting up camp and starting a fire, while others went out to forage some extra food for dinner and another group taking the first guard shift and scouting the perimeter.

 

When he was certain that the camp was organized and everyone knew what to do on their own, Levi left Erd in charge and disappeared into the trees. He spent the two remaining hours of sunlight scouring as much of the surrounding forest as he could manage. Levi found a few foot markings a relatively long distance away from the campsite but it was impossible to tell who they might belong to, or where the individuals might be by now.

 

By the time Levi made it back to camp it was dark, only the large campfire in the middle of the clearing illuminating the surrounding trees. He passed the guards already positioned around the edge of the clearing, some on the ground and others in the trees. They would have the trainees rotate in shifts and be overseen by at least one higher ranking official at any time. Levi and his group would begin their shift at dawn, mainly because Levi wanted to be awake and able to search for any sign of movement as soon as someone else in the forest might decide to move.

 

Eren was away in a corner sitting with some of his friends and Levi didn't bother to approach, doubting that he would be welcome. Instead he headed closer to the fire and took the bowl of stew Hanji handed to him. "How is it out there?"

 

"Quiet," Levi said as he sat down beside zher; the others were talking to the trainees. "I found a few footprints but nothing close, and no other sign of human activity."

 

"Do you really think it was those three kids again that the scout on the wall saw?" Hanji wondered.

 

"I don't know," Levi said honestly. "I'm not even sure why Erwin cares. An encounter with them, or anyone else, will likely just end in conflict."

 

Hanji hummed thoughtfully. "I'm sure he has a plan, as usual."

 

"I'm sure," Levi agreed and idly poked the fire with a spare stick, sending sparks dancing into the air.

 

They were silent for a few minutes and then Hanji cleared zher throat. "Are you two...okay?"

 

Levi shot zher a look. "Does it look like I'm asking for relationship advice?"

 

"No," Hanji said, but pressed on. "It just seems like you and the Commander have been a bit...distant."

 

"Run out of things to experiment on so now you're observing us in your boredom?" Levi asked, though when he looked over Hanji was just watching him with an open expression. Levi remained silent for a minute, finishing off his stew and setting the bowl aside. "Things have just been busy." Half the time Levi was helping with training or in Borna with his group. The rest of the time he was out on missions trying to scare the Military Police out of considering a full assault.

 

"I get that," Hanji rested zher chin on zher hand.

 

They both fell quiet. Levi tried to think of something to say until he realized that he didn't need to say anything. He could just sit silently beside Hanji comfortably, neither of them expecting further conversation. Both of them sat by the fire for a long time, listening to the crackling wood and the surrounding chatter growing quiet as everyone became exhausted from the long ride. Soon the trainees were all slipping into their bed rolls, a few people still talking in hushed tones while others drifted off to sleep.

 

"Are you going to head off as well?" Hanji asked Levi as they began collecting all of the bowls and putting them in a container. The following morning someone would be tasked with walking them to the stream to clean them out.

 

"I should," Levi said. "My shift starts at dawn."

 

"Hopefully you find a patch of grass without any roots," Hanji said, which was enough of a 'goodnight' for Levi to nod his head and walk away. He grabbed his travel bag and then looked around the dark clearing, wondering where he should sleep. Levi frowned when he saw that Eren was curled up a little distance away from everyone else and closer to the tree line than he needed to be.

 

Levi walked through the collection of dozing trainees and knelt in front of Eren, nudging his shoulder lightly in case he was already asleep. Eren blinked his eyes open and yawned. "Why are you so close to the trees?" Levi asked quietly.

 

Eren scowled up at him. "What, I can't even pick a place to sleep properly?"

 

"It's dangerous to be this close to the trees," Levi explained even though Eren had to already know that from training. "The closer you are, the more likely you are to be attacked or caught by surprise."

 

"I know that!" Eren hissed. "I'm not fucking eight anymore, okay? I'm not a complete dipshit. I lay down here so that I was between my friends and danger."

 

"Fine," Levi huffed and stepped over Eren, unfurling his own bed roll between Eren and the trees. Eren was right. He wasn't a kid anymore, and Levi had to have faith in him.

 

Eren craned to look over his shoulder at Levi behind him. "What are you doing?"

 

"Going to sleep," Levi said as he lay his bed roll out next to Eren and slid under the heavy blanket. "You're not the only stubborn jackass here, you know."

 

"Y-you don't have to sleep here," Eren stammered nervously.

 

Levi ignored him and slipped his hand beneath both his blanket and Eren's. Levi wound his arm around Eren and held him closer, pressing his hand against Eren's chest so he could feel his stuttering heartbeat. Eren was tense but not fighting the hold, and Levi said quietly, "You protect your friends, and I protect you. Now shut up and sleep."

 

Eren was silent but Levi could still feel how quickly his heart was racing beneath his palm. Then Levi's heart began to skip beats as well when Eren shuffled backwards minutely, his back moulding to Levi's chest. They were far enough away from the fire that no one would see them, and Levi told himself that there was nothing to hide anyway.

 

Granted, they hadn't slept this close in a few years but it had been common when they were both younger. With their body heat blending and the forest clearing falling silent, Levi tried to remember why they had stopped this. Levi felt so at peace holding Eren close and feeling his heartbeat, knowing that he was alive and safe. It made him feel even more relaxed protecting Eren's back from the forest and whatever dangers might be lurking through the trees. Levi tightened his hold; he would do anything to keep Eren safe.

 

"Levi...?" Eren whispered, but Levi was already mostly asleep, too tired to answer. His eyes had drifted closed and his face was pressed against the back of Eren's neck, and there was no way Levi was moving anytime soon. Eren seemed unbothered by the lack of response, and the last thing Levi felt before falling into a deep sleep was the sensation of Eren lifting a hand to rest it overtop Levi's own under the blanket.

 

#

 

Levi woke with a start when he felt something small hit his head. Levi extracted his arm from Eren's loose grasp and rolled over onto his other side. He found an acorn resting innocently in the grass by his bed roll and didn't manage to avoid the next acorn that hit him square on the forehead. Levi grunted and stood up quickly, unsheathing his swords. The sky was still dark but the dawn was approaching, the sky fading to gray and the campfire glowing dull embers.

 

He knew there were guards on duty but the only person close enough to notice his movements was Hanji, who Levi could see sitting in one of the trees when he squinted. Hanji was already crouching, zher own swords drawn and poised as their eyes met. Levi shook his head and pointed at himself, wanting to go first and have zher follow behind. It could easily be a trap but Levi doubted he would've been woken with something as innocent as a thrown acorn if an attack was planned.

 

Hanji held up two fingers. Two minutes, then zhe would follow him. Levi nodded and held his swords in front of him as he approached the trees. He knew the mystery person had to be close if they had chucked acorns at Levi's head, but Levi's steps were slow and cautious as soon as he left the clearing. It was difficult to distinguish the shadows surrounding him and Levi struggled to find stable footing among the rocks and roots littering the ground.

 

" _Pst_!"

 

Levi spun in the direction of the noise but kept his second sword at his side, ready to cover his back if someone attacked from behind. He crept closer through the bushes, moving further away from the clearing but still within a reasonable distance to shout for help if necessary. The forest seemed quiet and empty, the normal wildlife just beginning to stir to life as the sun approached. Definitely no acorn-wielding beings though.

 

"Show yourself," Levi hissed, immediately frustrated by the game of cat and mouse. He wanted to be back in the clearing with Eren in his sight, not fumbling through undergrowth in search of what could still very easily be a trap. "I'm in no mood for games."

 

"Please don't kill me," a voice begged as the bushes in front of Levi swayed and rustled. The voice was immediately familiar; a lilted accent reminding Levi of another encounter in this forest years prior. "I just want to talk."

 

"Then come out," Levi insisted. He wouldn't sheath his swords entirely, but he was willing to drop them to his sides to be slightly less threatening.

 

Levi instinctively tightened his grip on the hilts of his swords when the boy emerged. Not that he looked anything like a boy anymore, towering over Levi with what must be nearly an extra foot of height. However, Levi remembered that long face, dark hair and green eyes that reminded him so much of Eren; only a few years ago this boy – Bertholdt, Levi remembered – had only been a crying child. " _Please_ ," Bertholdt implored desperately, eyes on Levi's white-knuckled grip.

 

Levi couldn't let himself relax yet. "Where are your friends?" he demanded, eyes scanning the forest. He wouldn't forget the imposing size of the other boy – Reiner – who had probably grown even more formidable by now, or the piercing blue gaze of the eleven year old girl – Annie – who had possessed no qualms about burying an arrow in Levi's skull.

 

"A few miles away where we camped for the night," Bertholdt promised, continuing to hold his hands out in front of him as a show of surrender. "They don't know I'm here. They'd be furious."

 

"Then why _are_ you here?" Levi wondered. He didn't bother asking how Bertholdt had found them; they had purposefully chosen the same clearing to be easier to find, and Levi knew that Bertholdt would know these forests much better than Levi or the others after growing up in them.

 

"Because we need your help," Bertholdt said. "It's not safe to live out here anymore."

 

"But you've been living out here for years," Levi assumed, knowing that after giving up the stolen Gear in exchange for leaving with their lives, the trio had no way of scaling the wall.

 

"And we were fine," Bertholdt agreed. "We knew how to live off the land and we took care of each other. We knew we couldn't go back to our tribe after failing to bring your technology but we figured they'd leave us alone."

 

"Let me guess," Levi sighed. "They didn't."

 

Bertholdt's shoulders slumped, the boy worn beyond his years. "They did for a while. I don't know what changed. It was only in the last year that the nearby tribes made it their job to force us out. We have to change locations every few weeks and food is getting scarce. We tried travelling further from the wall but there are bigger and more feral creatures once you leave the wall's shadow."

 

Levi heard the creak of a tree branch; easily taken for the wind though Levi knew it was Hanji joining the conversation and listening intently as zhe remained out of sight. No doubt zhe had informed other guards to prepare and be ready to attack if they gave a sign. Bertholdt fidgeted nervously but didn't bolt; he really must be desperate. "What do you expect us to do about it?"

 

Bertholdt opened his mouth and then cringed. "Reiner and Annie think we should just push for the horizon but I know that's just betting between whether we starve or become something's dinner first. I want you to take us over the wall so we have a chance to survive."

 

"How could we ever trust you? You already tried to steal our Gear once, for some unknown purpose," Levi said.

 

"The tribe has watched your kind come over the wall for years. They wanted us to steal some of your technology so they could go over and cause chaos. They despise the wall, and feeling 'kept out'," Bertholdt explained.

 

Levi sighed. "And _that's_ the story you tell me to try to persuade me into letting you over the wall?"

 

"It's the truth! Doesn't that count for anything?" Bertholdt's fists clenched together at his sides. "That's not our tribe anymore. We're our only family now. We didn't want the chaos and destruction that the tribe wanted; Reiner, Annie and I. We just wanted to _live_. But we can't survive on our own any longer." Levi didn't flinch when Hanji landed beside him but Bertholdt stumbled backwards and raised his fists. Still, his voice was pained. "Please, I don't want to fight."

 

Levi kept his swords out but Hanji sheathed zhers, and zhe held up zher own hands as a sign of peace. Bertholdt wavered nervously on the balls of his feet but didn't make a move to approach or run away. "If we brought you over the wall, you would need to agree to come back with us. We need to ensure the safety of our own family; I'm sure you'll understand." Bertholdt swallowed and nodded and Hanji clapped zher hands together. "Excellent! And you can also teach us more about what it's like out here. I've been studying for years."

 

"Hanji," Levi warned, not wanting Hanji to get so caught up in zher excitement about learning something new that zhe didn't think this through.

 

He knew he could trust zher judgement though. Despite zher relaxed posture and easy smile Levi knew that Hanji could have zher swords released and buried in flesh in a flash. And although Hanji was one to try to understand every perspective and situation to make a rational decision, zhe would not hesitate to protect zher family, which included each member of the Survey Corps.

 

"Only if Reiner and Annie can come too. I will never leave them behind," Bertholdt looked from Hanji to Levi with determined eyes. "We'll tell you everything we know. We'll stay with you and do everything we can to prove our sincerity. We just want to survive."

 

"And what are your friends going to think about this?" Levi posed the question. "You already admitted that they'd be furious if they knew you were here talking to us. I doubt they'd be happy about becoming effective prisoners for an unknown amount of time."

 

"They won't like it," Bertholdt confessed, clearly torn. "But I'll convince them. I know this is our best chance, even if it means we have to basically be prisoners for a while. We're survivors; it's just that the others are too stubborn. Reiner won't abandon me, though," Bertholdt nodded to himself, as though reassuring himself of this fact. "And Annie is the biggest survivor of us all. She won't let us out of her sight."

 

"You know where our camp is," Hanji said without a question in zher words. "Go talk to them and when they're convinced, bring them to us. Shout out to us when you're approaching or you'll find your chest full of steel."

 

Bertholdt swallowed. "Understood." He looked from Hanji to Levi and back. "Thank you for listening."

 

"Get going," Levi said, still uncomfortable with this.

 

Bertholdt nodded and ran into the bushes in the opposite direction of the Survey Corps' camp. Levi and Hanji were left standing alone, and Hanji gave one low whistle; the signal for those on backup at camp to stand down. Then zhe looked to Levi and watched as he slowly sheathed his swords. "What do you think?"

 

Levi was silent for a long moment, mulling it over. "It's the best option if we're willing to believe their story, which at the moment we are. There are only three of them. Even if they prove untrustworthy it will be easy to contain and eliminate them. And if they _are_ trustworthy," Levi shrugged. "I expect they'll be good fighters and valuable assets."

 

"Agreed," Hanji pursed zher lips in thought. "I think both the Commander and I will be able to gain a lot of information from them. We'll just need to keep a close eye on them."

 

"Yes." Levi turned his gaze back in the direction of the camp. Had Eren been woken by the commotion or had Hanji rallied the guard quietly, leaving the rest of the camp to get some much needed sleep? Would Levi ever be able to relax again with three strangers and potential threats being brought into their home, so close to Eren? Erwin? Levi's training group?

 

Hanji rested a hand on Levi's shoulder and began to lead him back towards the camp, understanding that he had to see again that everyone was safe to feel stable. "There's another half hour until sunrise at least," zhe looked to the lightening sky. "Let's let everyone sleep and then we'll pack up and work on breakfast. I bet that kid is going to have his work ahead of him to convince his friends."

 

As they walked back into the clearing Levi felt his heart give a little jump and he stepped forward, Hanji's hand falling away from his shoulder easily. The majority of the trainees were still asleep curled up in their bed rolls, including Levi's group all lying relatively close together on one edge of the clearing. Levi found Eren standing in the middle of the group, eyes on the forest and swords raised protectively. Watching over each of his teammates as they slept on; even though his limbs looked heavy with tiredness, even though there were already guards surrounding the clearing.

 

Levi approached and drew Eren's eyes, and Eren's smile was warm and welcoming. "You're back," Eren breathed with relief. "I felt you moving and then you were suddenly gone and Hanji was rousing the guards."

 

"I'm back," Levi agreed, stepping over his sleeping group carefully. He rested a hand on Eren's shoulder and finally he lowered his swords. "Stand down and get more sleep." Eren opened his mouth to argue and Levi cut him off, though he was smiling slightly with pride at Eren's actions. "That's an order."

 

"What about you?" Eren grumbled, though his eyes were already drooping.

 

"I'll sleep when we get back to HQ. No questions now," he spoke over Eren again when Eren looked at him in surprise at hearing they would return to the castle so quickly. "Sleep. It's not long until dawn."

 

"Come with me?" Eren requested quietly.

 

Levi didn't see a reason to argue and returned to their two bed rolls left on the grass side by side. Levi knelt down to roll his back up and then sat on the grass. He watched as Eren slid back into his own bed roll and then shuffled closer, winding his body around Levi's back with his head by Levi's thigh. Levi kept a loose grip on his left sword but brushed his right hand through Eren's hair, lulling him quickly back into sleep.

 

Feeling Eren's even breathing against his back calmed Levi and made him want to lie down and sleep as well, but he ignored it and kept his eyes on the surrounding forest. He was experienced at going a long time without sleep when necessary and his caution about these three wilderness kids gave him enough of an energy boost to avoid drifting off to sleep.

 

When the sun broke over the horizon, setting alight the tips of the trees far above their heads, Levi shook Eren's shoulder. Eren rolled onto his back and blinked his blurry eyes open, staring at Levi openly for a few long seconds. Levi didn't know what Eren was thinking about – it was often hard to tell with Eren's impulsive nature – but judging by the contented warmth in his eyes it had to be a happy thought. Perhaps Eren was still lost willingly in a dream.

 

Levi shook him again, a little harder this time. "Up. Pack your bed roll and wake the others. Tell them to do the same."

 

"Yes, sir," Eren yawned widely. He rolled over, bumped into Levi, and then rolled in the opposite direction until he was on his stomach and could rise onto his hands and knees to crawl out of his bed roll.

 

Once Levi was certain that Eren was actually getting up and wouldn't just go back to sleep, he stood and walked over towards the campfire, which Erd was coaxing back to life. Hanji had just finished updating Erd, Gunter, and Auruo on their encounter with Bertholdt and everyone turned to look at Levi. "We probably have a few hours but we should be prepared to leave immediately if necessary. Also be prepared for them to bring a whole tribe; we don't know if their story is true yet."

 

"And yet we're offering to carry them over the wall?" Auruo complained, arms crossed in front of his chest.

 

"Their story could also be true," Hanji reminded them all. "We won't know until they come back, but we'll be fine as long as we act cautiously."

 

"Gunter, call your group off guard duty and let them sleep until we're leaving. You can sleep too if you need it," Levi said. "My group and Auruo's have both slept. Mine will guard and Auruo, help them get something made for breakfast that we can at least choke down."

 

Everyone jumped into action, for a moment leaving only Levi, Hanji and Erd at the fire. "Would you like me to explain the situation to the group?" Hanji offered without judgement.

 

Levi shook his head. "I've got it." There were a few brief moments when everyone was awake before some of the trainees took their places guarding or preparing food and the others lay down for much needed sleep. Levi cleared his throat and immediately everyone offered up their attention. "There are three kids, about your age, who grew up on this side of the wall. They are coming back with us and we are giving them a chance to prove their trustworthiness." A few trainees whispered to each other curiously but they fell silent when Levi continued to speak. "They will be here in a few hours, probably. Treat them with caution but not hostility."

 

He received a collection of nods and Levi considered his explanation complete. Levi knew that everyone else knew their responsibilities and wouldn't require any supervision so he made his way over to his group. They were all in the process of packing away their bed rolls and tugging their Gear back into place, some of the straps gone askew as they slept.

 

"Are we on guard duty?" Armin guessed.

 

"Yes," Levi said. "I want you all to spread out around the perimeter of the clearing. If these kids are friendly like they say, they have been told to shout out to us when they approach. However, I want you all listening for signs of an ambush as well: rustling leaves, cracked branches. If anything makes you uneasy, you shout."

 

"Yes, Captain!" they all saluted and scattered around the clearing, all of them facing outward to catch any peculiar sounds amongst the trees.

 

Levi suppressed his instinct to hover over his trainees. He was always concerned for their safety but he trusted all of them implicitly. They trained with purpose and dedication, and Levi knew without a doubt that they would all fight to their last breath in order to protect each other. Levi's gaze lingered on Eren's back and remembered their short conversation the night before. Levi needed to stop being so overbearing and prove his trust in Eren and the others.

 

More than once Levi caught Eren glancing back at him, only to look away again quickly when he realized he was caught staring. Eren didn't break formation though and Levi didn't approach, remaining at his own section of forest. Levi had taken the spot closest to where Bertholdt had thrown the acorn from, assuming it was their most likely direction for approaching. He kept his ear turned towards the forest and his eyes on the camp, watching everyone fall easily into routine.

 

Three hours passed with nothing more than the chirping of birds and the rising of the sun. Levi began to wonder if Bertholdt and his friends would ever return. It was possible that Reiner and Annie had been unconvinced by Bertholdt's reasoning, unwilling to trust the Survey Corps. It was also possible that Bertholdt had run back to his tribe and a whole collection of enemies were in the process of encircling their camp. It was enough to keep Levi on edge despite the uneventful time passing.

 

The shout came without warning, the kids quiet as they moved through the forest after growing up beyond the wall. "We're here! Don't kill us please!"

 

"Why are you begging them?" a gruff male voice said.

 

"Yeah, don't beg. We'll deal with them if they're stupid enough to try to attack us," a sharp female voice added.

 

"Annie, I told you to lower your bow!" Bertholdt whined.

 

By now everyone in the clearing was looking at the trees, even the sleeping trainees being woken. Levi sighed and held a sword in each hand, though he kept both blades lowered towards the ground. "Approach slowly. No weapons."

 

"See? They're already ordering us around!" Levi knew that had to be Reiner. "Are we really going to subject ourselves to that?"

 

"They're allowed to be cautious," Bertholdt reasoned. Then his voice lowered and Levi doubted anyone besides him could hear the words. "I'll do what's necessary to save us from starving. And I'm not going without you. You know what our food situation is like. Are you going to be stubborn enough to kill us?"

 

"No," Reiner grumbled.

 

There was a sound of lips meeting briefly. Then Bertholdt spoke again. "And you, Annie?"

 

There was a weary sigh. "Fine, Bert. But we're still family, not them."

 

Getting a bit impatient now, Levi called out into the trees again. "Anytime."

 

This time their approach was audible and Levi suspected they were purposefully making noise to avoid startling any of them into instinctively reacting aggressively. Reiner emerged first and even though Levi's instincts had his hands gripping his swords tighter, he didn't show any other reaction to Reiner's massive frame. He was nearly as tall as Bertholdt and his shoulders were twice as wide. Levi was wondering if Reiner might've just been able to run _through_ the wall rather than requiring a lift over it.

 

Behind Reiner came Bertholdt, with Annie trailing behind him. Again Levi had to suppress his reaction when he saw that Annie still possessed her bow, but it was held in her two hands in front of her and not raised. Her blond hair had been cropped a little shorter but her blue eyes were as sharp as always, her cheekbones and jaw all defined lines.

 

Levi took a step back to regard the trio fully, Reiner still acting as a wall between his family and the entire Survey Corps who were all staring. They were at a standoff, everyone tense, and Levi knew he had to be the one to break it. The trio watched him sharply as his swords moved, and then their shoulders hesitantly relaxed when Levi put his swords away. "Bertholdt told us of your situation," he spoke calmly and clearly. "We will take you over the wall with us if you agree to remain under our watch until we are certain you can be trusted."

 

Annie snorted and looked away. Bertholdt stepped forward and Reiner held a hand in front of him, stilling his approach. Bertholdt's attention briefly left Levi to look at the other boy, his gaze soft and his hand caring when he touched Reiner's arm. "It's okay," he promised, and then moved forward to offer a hand to Levi. "We accept."

 

Levi shook his hand briefly. "We just need to finish packing up and then we can leave shortly."

 

Hanji moved to stand at Levi's side, smiling welcomingly at the trio. "I'm Major Hanji Zoe, welcome!" Bertholdt gave a hesitant smile but Reiner looked unimpressed and Annie looked bored. "I would love to learn more from all of you. We've been trying to study what's beyond the wall for years. It's not the most hospitable area for long-term study."

 

"Yeah, we know," Annie drawled, staring Hanji down.

 

Luckily Hanji was the best person to ignore offence, zher excited mood shining through. "Yes of course, that's why I can't wait to hear your stories. But for now how about we get you introduced to everyone. Are you hungry? We have a bit of food left from breakfast..."

 

"You talk a lot," Reiner commented.

 

Bertholdt elbowed him in the ribs, which barely drew a grunt. "Food would be wonderful," Bertholdt said with an edge of desperation in his voice.

 

Hanji led the trio over to the campfire and Levi stepped aside, watching but not trailing along behind them. All eyes were on them; they wouldn't even get close to attacking before someone noticed and stopped them. Before anything else, the trio were searched for weapons. Bertholdt and Reiner were found with two daggers each, and Annie with her bow and quiver. They insisted on keeping the heirlooms and agreed to temporarily surrender them for the Survey Corps to hold onto until things were less strained between the two groups.

 

Levi returned to his group and oversaw the packing, making sure everything was cleaned up in record time. There was no indication of an attack coming but Levi would feel much safer once they were back over the wall. While his group was packing their travel bags, Hanji led the trio over to them. "How about you introduce yourselves?" Hanji suggested brightly.

 

"Again?" Reiner groaned.

 

"I'm Bertholdt, but please call me Bert," he was the first one to start.

 

"I'm Reiner and he's my boyfriend," Reiner butted in, resting a possessive hand on Bert's hip as he stared the group of trainees down. "So don't even _think_ about it."

 

Before anyone could do more than blink, Annie added her introduction. "I'm Annie and I'm really bored of saying it."

 

"Well aren't you a cheerful lot," Levi said. They weren't even _trying_ to fit in; well, maybe Bert was.

 

Levi was expecting Eren to speak up first since he was generally the loudest and the most confident, having been part of the Survey Corps for longer than any of the other trainees. That was why Levi was confused when Eren just took a half step closer to Levi, nearly standing in front of him as though Levi required protection. It was Armin who ended up approaching the trio first with a hesitant smile. "I'm Armin. I'd love to hear more about your homeland someday; when you're not in the spotlight, of course."

 

"Why are you all so damn fascinated?" Annie turned her gaze onto Armin, who struggled not to wilt. "It's just a forest."

 

"But it's not," Armin argued, his own curious excitement giving him the courage to continue. "It's a whole other world beyond the wall. It's beautiful but also dangerous and we know almost nothing about it. I would love to know."

 

Annie studied him hard and then gave a slight tilt of her head; perhaps in acceptance. Armin blushed but was saved from trying to continue the conversation when the rest of Levi's group introduced themselves. Everyone else was a little more reserved than Armin had been, but a little tension could be expected. Though when it was Eren's turn to speak Levi had to stop himself from rolling his eyes. "I'm Eren and the Survey Corps is _my_ family, and I'll protect it against _anything_."

 

"We don't want to be a threat to you," Bert insisted desperately.

 

"See that you're not because— _ow_!"

 

Levi silenced Eren with a quick elbow to the ribs before grabbing his hip and tugging him backwards, this time to stand _behind_ Levi rather than in front. "And I'm Captain Levi. Do you have any questions?"

 

Thankfully the trio seemed relatively unbothered by Eren's thinly veiled threat because they looked from him to Levi after a moment. "When are we going?"

 

Levi looked past them to study the forest clearing. Everything looked packed up, everyone standing in groups chatting as they waited for orders. Hanji gave him a nod and Levi looked back to the trio and then his group. "We can head out now. We'll walk to the wall and then a few of us will give you a lift over."

 

Everyone organized into groups, Levi and Hanji remaining at the front with Levi's group and the trio where everyone could keep an eye on them. Auruo's and Gunter's groups flanked them, with Erd watching their backs for any last minute ambush that luckily never came. When they reached the wall Levi sent all three groups of trainees over the wall first with Gunter to watch over them.

 

Only when Levi was certain that all of his trainees were back inside the wall and safe did he turn to the trio. "Hanji, take Annie. Auruo, you take Reiner and I'll take Bert."

 

"Hey, I don't want you touching him!" Reiner took a warning step towards Levi, who watched him impassively.

 

"Would you prefer we leave you here? Because we can do that," Levi reminded him. "I have no interest in your boyfriend."

 

"Reiner, it's fine," Bert assured his boyfriend, willingly allowing Reiner to envelope him in his arms and hold him tightly as they kissed.

 

Surprisingly it was Annie who spoke up, no doubt more familiar with this sort of dynamic. "Would you two cool it? Honestly. I just want to get over the wall already."

 

Bert pulled away a bit sheepishly though Reiner didn't look shamed at all. Since Annie was most eager to proceed, Hanji explained to Annie where to hold onto Hanji's Gear for the best grip, and also where zhe would be holding Annie in return to keep her close for the ascent. Annie still looked bored as she took position, though Levi could see her eyes widening at the first sensation of flight when Hanji took off and began to quickly climb the wall, Annie in tow.

 

Levi and Auruo made sure that Bert and Reiner were holding on tightly as well before they began their own ascent, which was much slower considering the weight difference between Annie and the two boys. Erd followed last, still watching the forest until they reached the top of the wall where no attack could ever reach them. Levi was confused when he saw that Hanji and Annie were still standing on top of the wall, but when Bert and Reiner reached the top as well and let out quiet gasps of awe, Levi understood.

 

They remained on the top of the wall and Levi watched the trio's eyes scan the forest and the horizon beyond; their home and also their hell. They must have felt conflicted leaving behind everything they knew growing up, and yet relieved at the opportunity to have a better life where they wouldn't be in danger of attack or starvation. "It looks so much different from way up here," Reiner said.

 

Bert nodded and Annie hummed, and as though they shared some mental connection, all three of them turned instead to face inwards. They took in the group of trainees below, the sprawling fields and forests and the nearby stable buildings. Levi wondered what they thought of the view; if they thought it looked welcoming, or scary, or too similar to care.

 

"Let's move on," he said eventually, breaking the moment of repose.

 

They didn't bother stopping to eat when they reached the stables since they had just finished their last meal. Everyone rushed around getting their horses ready while Levi and Auruo watched the trio, who were busy looking around curiously. They were now short three horses and Hanji called for people who were willing to pair up.

 

Levi wasn't surprised or displeased when Eren offered to ride with Levi and leave his horse for Reiner, who had a large enough bulk that he would ride on his own. Armin offered to ride with Annie, who gave a resigned look before awkwardly pulling herself up into the saddle. And Christa rode with Ymir, giving her horse to Bert for the ride back to the castle.

 

To Levi's annoyance, Eren insisted on riding behind him since he was _taller_ and it 'made more sense'. Levi wasn't exactly happy but didn't take the time to argue as he mounted the horse and settled in front of Eren. "Watch your hands," he muttered under his breath when Eren grasped his hips, realizing that Eren was beginning to take extra liberties when it came to his interactions with Levi. After being told off Eren wound both arms around Levi's middle to ensure he would remain in the saddle, offering no complaint. Sighing, Levi picked up the reins and called out the order to ride for the castle, following at the back of the pack to keep an eye on everyone for the long trek back.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: This one is a bit shorter (sorry), but Levi finally admits some of his feelings so I hope you guys still enjoy the chapter ^.^

Levi had sent a scout ahead of the group to inform Erwin of the situation so that by the time the group arrived at the castle and began filling up the courtyard, Erwin was already dressed in full uniform and standing on the front steps, watching critically. The trainees were left to tend to the horses while Levi and the other officers escorted the trio into the castle and to a meeting room on the main floor. This meeting room was rarely used for any significant discussions, but it offered some security without showing the trio the entire layout of the Survey Corps' headquarters.

 

Bert, Reiner and Annie were offered a couch to sit on and they settled tensely, eyes taking in every detail of the room around them. Erwin sat in a chair directly across from them, steepling his fingers as he studied them. Gunter remained by the door while Auruo and Erd took seats on either side of the room. Hanji remained a little closer to the trio and Levi hovered at Erwin's side, standing a half-step in front of him in case of an attack.

 

"My name is Erwin and I am the Commander of the Survey Corps," he began with a calm voice. Erwin's relaxed posture in his chair released some of the tension from the room. "Welcome. I was told you were coming but I would like to hear the story in your own words."

 

Now that Reiner seemed a bit more confident, he was the one to begin speaking while Bert sat close to him on the couch; only he and Annie chimed in occasionally to add a detail. "We're from the Favonae tribe beyond the wall. Our tribe, which is based closest to the wall, were aware of your groups occasionally flying over and tromping through our forests."

 

"You're pretty unapologetic about the whole thing," Annie added.

 

"Our tribe hated that you all have so much in here while we're stuck out scrounging for food; the injustice of it," Reiner said.

 

"How would you even know what was inside the walls if you've never been beyond them?" Hanji asked curiously.

 

"We saw what you brought. Your technology and packaged food," Bert offered an example.

 

"More than anything they just hated feeling 'kept out'. Anyway, our tribe ordered us to steal some of your stuff so that they could get over the wall. That was when we ran into your Captain a few years back," Reiner glanced at Levi. Erwin didn't look at Levi but standing this close, Levi noticed the twitch of his fingers before Erwin suppressed the urge to ball his hands into fists. "We decided we wanted to live more than get the items back to our tribe and we left it there. We ran and we lived off the land and for a few years things were fine. But during the last year our tribe, and other nearby tribes, have made it a mission to starve us out."

 

"So you approached Captain Levi," Erwin prompted, though he certainly already knew this part of the story.

 

"Well Bert did first," Reiner said, wrapping an arm around Bert's shoulders when he ducked his head nervously. "He thinks that we'd have a better chance of survival on this side of the wall, and after talking about it Annie and I agree with him. Which is why we came to your Captain."

 

Erwin studied them for a long moment in silence, deep in thought. "We could offer you a home here," he said carefully. "You could become trainees with the Survey Corps, train and graduate and then if you wished to leave our headquarters you could take a post wherever you chose. However, we are posed with two problems." All three of them sat on the edge of their seat. "The first problem being that we cannot trust you. You have already tried to steal our Gear once and you tell us that your tribe hates us. What would stop you from waiting to steal more Gear and going back over the wall?"

 

Annie, Reiner and Bertholdt all looked at each other. Levi didn't see panic on their faces; they didn't have a secret plan that had been unearthed. They were just desperate to think of an argument that would make the Survey Corps believe them. It was Annie who looked directly at Erwin and gave the answer. "None of us want to starve. Going back over the wall, whether to live or to rejoin our tribe, would mean death. Your castle at least offers a longer future than that. You can trust that we want to live."

 

"Is there nowhere else you could go to avoid the food shortages?" Erwin pressed, and now Levi could tell that Erwin was just satiating his curiosity about the world beyond the wall. "What's out there?"

 

"We've heard rumours about groups of people living further away from the wall but we've never seen proof of that," Reiner explained. "Most of the really dangerous animals don't venture too close to the wall but the times we tried to push for the horizon we ran into much larger and more vicious bears and wolves. We barely survived and it wasn't worth going further."

 

"Why do you think it is that the animals don't approach the wall?" Erwin leaned forward in his chair. Hanji look similarly captivated.

 

"I didn't think we were signing up to teach _history_ ," Annie huffed, crossing her arms. "Don't you lot know the stories?"

 

"No," Erwin admitted, taking no offence to her condescending tone. "They are lost to us."

 

"The story goes that over one hundred years ago there were no walls," Annie said. "The royal family around here got tired of listening to the rules of other ruling people further way so they built walls around their 'kingdom'."

 

"Which was great for anyone who got to live inside the walls," Reiner added. "And shitty for anyone who was left out."

 

"All of the resources were kept within the walls, leaving the farms and towns beyond the borders to wither and eventually die out or band into tribes to survive," Annie continued. "People got desperate and tried to scale the walls and the king kept archers on top of the wall to shoot down any potential threat. The animals probably learned as quickly as the humans to avoid the area even though security has gone lax in our years. That's probably why bandits have begun to live nearer to the walls now."

 

Erwin momentarily looked away from the trio and lifted his gaze to Levi, who could see a familiar glint of excitement in those eyes. Erwin's spark of adventure had been rekindled as he imagined the possibilities that waited beyond the wall. "There could be towns and cities – entire civilizations that have developed separately from us," Erwin spoke quickly, his thoughts drifting towards the horizon.

 

Levi felt the sudden urge to kiss Erwin, tugging insistently at his heart. He loved seeing Erwin this way, boyish in his wonder and desire to explore the world, not buried under reports and strategies. It was a man Erwin could rarely afford to be any longer now that he was the Commander, but it was the man Levi had grown to love long ago. He had missed it. Now wasn't the moment for a reunion though, and Levi settled for resting a warm hand on Erwin's shoulder. He drew a smile before Erwin turned back to the trio.

 

"We will gladly have you join us as long as you understand that you will be monitored for a while until we can be certain that our group is safe," Erwin told them. "I want you to feel welcome, and you are, but the safety of everyone under my command is my number one priority."

 

"We understand," Bert assured him.

 

"We'd be concerned if you didn't think to be cautious," Annie said.

 

"You mentioned a second problem," Bert pointed out.

 

"Yes," Erwin nodded. "The Survey Corps are currently at war with another group within the walls; the Military Police. I don't want to bias you but we are openly fighting them. I want you to be aware of this before you decide to join us."

 

"Will we have to fight them?" Reiner wondered.

 

"Everyone else joined the Survey Corps because they chose to fight for what we stand for. Since you are joining out of necessity, I will not ask you to fight the Military Police," Erwin said. "You can take the time to learn about the war and make your opinions. I expect you to take part in training and to remain with the Survey Corps so that we can ensure you are not taking information over to the Military Police. However, if you decide that you do not agree with our cause, as I said before, you can be given an outer post after graduation that doesn't require that you fight."

 

"And what exactly is your cause?" Reiner prompted him.

 

"Bias and all," Annie almost teased.

 

"The simple version of the story is that the Military Police work for the king in order to guard him and to maintain order in the city streets. The Survey Corps' original mission was to explore new territory, and to guard the outer territories and the outermost wall," Erwin summarized slowly and carefully. "The Military Police and those in the inner districts began hoarding all of the resources for themselves, leaving the citizens of the outer cities starving and crippled. We fight to return balance across all territories. I fight for my own reasons as well, of course," Erwin added sadly, catching Levi's eye for a brief moment as they both remembered Levi's torture.

 

Levi noticed that all three of the newcomers looked intrigued, though they were all purposefully noncommittal in their interest. "We appreciate the chance to make our own decisions," Bert said diplomatically.

 

Erwin inclined his head and stood from his chair. "In that case, welcome to the Survey Corps. Major Hanji will show you to where you will be staying in the barracks and get you some extra pairs of clothes. Your weapons will remain safe in storage for now but will be returned to you eventually. Any final questions?" No one spoke up. "Good. Captain, if you will join me?"

 

The thought of these three unknown kids sleeping in the same rooms as Eren and the others left Levi slightly uneasy but he did as ordered and followed Erwin out of the room and up the stairs. Erwin led the way into his rooms, leaving Levi to close and lock the door behind him. Levi watched as Erwin sat heavily on his couch and looked sideways to stare out the open window. "Something on your mind?"

 

Erwin didn't answer him at first, still staring out into the distance. Then he sighed tiredly. "I never enjoyed this war but I could never hate it because I knew it was important." Erwin spoke softly, for Levi alone to hear. "Now I find myself despising it."

 

Levi walked closer and stood by the armrest, not blocking Erwin's view of the window. "You want to go on an adventure," he surmised.

 

"I joined the Survey Corps because I wanted to explore and discover new paths. I want to know what the world holds for us, and maybe even lead people to a new future," Erwin said. "Not order them to their deaths."

 

Concerned by how burdened Erwin suddenly sounded, Levi rested a hand on his shoulder. "Then we'll just have to win the war so we can go on an expedition."

 

At last Erwin looked up at Levi, though Levi felt his heart clench when he saw how sad Erwin's eyes were. "And will you come with me?"

 

"Of course."

 

Erwin grimaced. "I have wronged you and you have been distant."

 

Unwilling to let Erwin drift away from him, Levi cupped Erwin's cheek with his palm. "Distant is not what I will be when I am angry with you," he reminded Erwin with a teasing tone, trying to lighten the mood. "We have both just been busy."

 

"You with Eren and me with the organization; when will we not be busy?" Erwin tried to look away, to return his eyes to the window and the beckoning horizon.

 

Wanting to bring a genuine smile to his lover's lips, Levi straddled Erwin's lap on the couch. "Now seems like a good time," he hinted, rolling his hips as he sealed their lips together. Erwin returned the kiss but it was soft and calm, no passion driving their reunion. Levi rutted his hips forward a little harder and nipped Erwin's bottom lip, and gave a grunt of confusion when Erwin's hands held his hips still. Levi leaned back and studied Erwin's face. "What the hell's wrong?" Erwin's face was conflicted and Levi scowled. "What, now you don't want me anymore?"

 

"It's not that," Erwin said, his hands still with an almost desperate hold on Levi's hips. "I will always want you. But... do you still want _me_?"

 

"I'm sitting in your lap, aren't I?" Levi raised an annoyed eyebrow. If anything Erwin looked sadder and Levi growled, crowding into Erwin's personal space as he pinned the man back against the couch. "Erwin, when have I ever done something I didn't want to do? Tell me the number of times; _count them_." Erwin remained silent but his thumb had begun to swirl circles over Levi's hipbone. " _Exactly_. So stop moping because it's been a while and get around to actually fucking me."

 

Erwin seemed to physically shrug off some hidden insecurity and a moment later Levi had his normal Erwin back again. The Erwin who knew every dip and sensitive line of Levi's body and was eager to use this knowledge to his advantage. The Erwin who saved him, cared for him, loved him and possessed him. Levi met each hungry kiss with his own intensity, barely breaking away when he stood from the couch just long enough to kick his pants off and tug down Erwin's own past his knees.

 

"Lube," Erwin muttered at one point, trying to push Levi off to stand up and get the jar from the other room.

 

Levi pressed all of his weight down against Erwin, trying to gain leverage. "Fuck the lube, I'm fine."

 

"I'm not fucking you without lube," Erwin scowled at him. "That would be needlessly painful."

 

"You're not getting up from this couch," Levi informed him before ducking down to nip Erwin's neck. He couldn't quite understand it, but there was a hint of fear behind his desperation. Levi didn't want to feel the distance between them, or experience a look or touch without passion. He felt like he was clutching at Erwin too tightly and yet he was still slipping away.

 

Levi expected Erwin to argue but for once he surrendered, not attempting to stand up again. Pleased with this, Levi pulled the collar of Erwin's shirt down and sucked a greedy mark on his lover's skin, leaving his own claim. Erwin shuddered below him and moaned and Levi echoed him when he felt Erwin's large hands manhandle him and move him closer until they were practically chest to chest.

 

Before he could ask what Erwin's plan was, Levi choked on his next breath when he felt one of Erwin's warm hands move from his hip to encircle both of their cocks together. They were already both dribbling precome from their tips and it was easy for Erwin to coat his hand. Levi continued to suck and nip marks onto Erwin's skin as he felt Erwin begin to stroke their lengths together. The tight grip of Erwin's hand and the sensation of Erwin's cock pulsing and nudging against his own quickly had Levi flushed with heat and panting as he rocked into Erwin's hand, Levi's fingernails biting into Erwin's shoulders without thought or apology.

 

Levi moaned louder when he felt his body rising and falling slightly, Erwin thrusting up into the grip of his hand as well and lifting Levi in his lap. "I missed you," Erwin panted, his head falling back against the couch. Levi shivered as he watched Erwin study his body possessively, his free hand skimming across Levi's sweaty skin.

 

"I, ahh! _Fuck_ ," Levi gasped when Erwin's thumb circled the head of Levi's cock. "Me too," he finally managed to mumble as he arched into the handjob, feeling his body clench as it approached orgasm. Levi leaned closer again and tucked his face against Erwin's neck, not minding how sweaty they both were. He could barely breathe when Erwin dragged him back into a demanding kiss but Levi returned it willingly as he fucked Erwin's hand and cock. " _Erwin_."

 

The whispered name was all Erwin needed. Levi barely managed to avoid getting knocked off as Erwin arched violently beneath him, shouting out Levi's name as his come splattered across his chest and dripped over his fingers. Levi couldn't remember the last time Erwin had shouted his name and he pressed a kiss to Erwin's throat even as he groaned.

 

Before Erwin even had time to work through his orgasm fully he swapped hands, stroking Levi's twitching cock with dry heat and moving his wet fingers to press against Levi's entrance. Levi's back arched and he cursed at the slight burn when Erwin pressed two come-coated fingers inside him, but that tendril of pain merely blended with his pleasure as Levi rode Erwin's fingers and fucked his hand. Levi bucked mindlessly as his balls tightened and finally shot his seed across Erwin's chest, his eyes clenched closed as he whined.

 

When he was spent it was Erwin's hands that kept him from collapsing. Erwin pulled Levi close so that he could rest against Erwin's body and they kissed sluggishly, their racing heartbeats pulsing in their ears. Levi lay against Erwin when he was too tired to continue kissing and merely breathed in the scent of lingering arousal and Erwin's musk that Levi hadn't realized he had been missing.

 

He gave a tired grunt when Erwin held Levi tighter in his arms and stood up, carrying Levi away from the couch. "Where are we going?" Levi asked with minimal interest, his eyelids heavy. He had forgotten that he didn't get a full night of sleep the previous night.

 

"When was the last time you had a bath?" Erwin posed the question as he shouldered open the bathroom door.

 

"Are you saying that I smell?" Levi grumbled.

 

"I'm saying you never take the time to relax," Erwin shot back.

 

"Look who's talking," Levi allowed Erwin to set him on his feet and moved over to the bathtub/shower mix. It had been so long since Erwin had taken the time to have a bath rather than a shower that the tub taps creaked when they were twisted.

 

As the tub began to fill with water and the air turned thick with steam, Erwin walked Levi back against the wall. "Then I suppose I should join you. Wouldn't want to be a hypocrite," Erwin chuckled and ducked down. This kiss was messy and had Levi's toes curling even though his body was still recovering from his first orgasm. They only broke apart when the tub was in danger of overflowing, and together they sunk happily into the steaming water of the tub.

 

#

 

After a late dinner Levi headed through the castle towards the barracks. This was the trainees' section of the castle and they had their own large common room to spend time in at the end of a long day when they wanted to hang out but didn't want to deal with higher-ranking officers. There were tables, chairs and couches in the common room as well as some jugs of water and snack food in case anyone got hungry.

 

Levi rarely came down here and when he walked into the trainees' rooms everyone immediately got quiet and stared at him, wondering if he had come for them. Levi was still relaxed from the bath and his second orgasm so he took no notice to their wary respect and instead continued his search. It was late and Eren wasn't in the barracks so Levi assumed he had to be in the common room with his friends, likely playing cards or chatting before bed.

 

Sure enough, when Levi entered the common room he saw Eren sitting at a table. Armin was on one side of him and Mikasa on the other, with Jean sitting beside her. And to Levi's surprise he found the Survey Corps' three newest members sitting across the table from them, being taught a new card game by Armin while Eren and Jean bickered back and forth.

 

Levi felt oddly out of place and held himself back, not wanting to intrude when he saw how happy and at home Eren was here. It filled Levi with relief to know that Eren had not only reunited with his old friends but also made new ones. All those years ago Eren had lost his family and Levi had worried that he would never recover, that his heart had been ripped from him too young. But Eren had persevered and found a new family, and although Levi felt sad accepting that he would probably no longer be the first person Eren came running to, he was happy for Eren.

 

Inevitably the other trainees noticed their Captain in the room with them. Mikasa nudged Eren in the ribs to draw his attention from his argument with Jean, and Eren turned his head quickly to look where she was pointing. Levi's chest filled with warmth when Eren gave him an immediate grin and stood from the bench, dashing over to join Levi. "Hey, what's up?" Without a word Levi turned on his heel and headed back out of the room, pleased when Eren followed him easily without instruction. "Is everything okay?" Eren asked tentatively as they walked down the hallway side by side.

 

"Yeah," Levi said just to keep Eren from worrying. They continued to walk in easy silence for a few minutes until Levi found a corridor he expected was far enough away that they wouldn't be interrupted. Then he unclipped the dagger from his belt and pushed it into Eren's hands. "An early birthday present."

 

Eren's eyebrows furrowed in confusion as he looked down at the dagger in his hands. "My birthday isn't for three months."

 

"I already said it was early," Levi repeated, mentally scolding himself for feeling nervous that Eren might not like the gift. "Just look at the damn thing." Levi had gone to the Survey Corps' smith to have this custom made and he hoped it was to Eren's liking. The blade was six inches of steel and the hilt had brass worked into the grip and the sheath was made of fine leather. Levi had wanted to ensure it was lightweight and easy to use; something Eren would be willing to wear on his hip.

 

Eren unsheathed the dagger and looked at it in the flickering torchlight, his eyes wide as he studied it. Levi felt another jolt of nerves when Eren looked at him through his lashes. "It's beautiful, thank you," Eren said and then bit his lip. "But I don't understand."

 

Levi clutched the lapel of Eren's jacket and pulled him a bit closer. "Keep it with you. I want you to be safe until we're certain we can trust this new trio."

 

"They seem nice to me," Eren said weakly.

 

"I'm not looking to hate them," Levi explained. "But you are my priority." Eren's body immediately relaxed and he reached out towards him. Levi didn't flinch the way he would if anyone else in the world approached him with a dagger, but his eyes did narrow in on the blade. "Don't tell me you've forgotten everything I taught you."

 

Eren blushed and fumbled with the dagger, slipping it back into its sheath and tucking it under his belt. Then, before Levi could reprimand him further, Eren threw his arms around Levi and hugged him tightly enough to squeeze the breath from Levi's lungs. Eren tucked his face against Levi's neck and breathed in deeply as Levi hesitantly wound his own arms around Eren. "I, I love it. Thank you."

 

"You're welcome," Levi muttered into the fabric of Eren's shirt, tucking his face against Eren's body in return. He noticed that Eren smelled of fresh soap and something uniquely his own and Levi was happy to stand there breathing Eren in for a few moments as they hugged. Levi was glad that he had picked an unpopulated hallway so that they weren't walked in on, though that thought made him wonder why he felt this was something that should be kept private. After all, he had raised Eren; he was allowed to hug the kid and give him a present.

 

"Would you like to join the card game?" Eren asked at one point. "We're short one player. You could be my partner."

 

Levi considered it for a long moment and then shook his head, stepping out of Eren's hug. "Go have fun with your friends. I'm going to sleep early."

 

"Could I join you?" Levi glanced back sharply and Eren immediately winced. "S-sorry, I don't know why I asked that. It was just nice in the forest last night. I'm going to go," Eren said hurriedly and practically ran down the hallway and around the corner, out of sight.

 

Levi headed the other direction down the hall towards his bedroom rather than to the trainees' common room. There was no point going after Eren. Levi didn't want to think further about Eren's request, especially when it made Levi realize with a confusing guilt that he might've crossed a line back in the forest. He had assumed that with Eren and Greg together, Levi no longer had to enforce the boundaries in his relationship with Eren, but there was no sense in confusing things further.

 

Levi went straight to bed and told himself to feel relieved the next morning when he woke up in bed alone.

 

#

 

"So when are you going to kiss him?"

 

"Fuck off, Hanji," Levi snapped immediately, already on edge.

 

"That doesn't answer my question," zhe teased in a singsong voice by Levi's ear. They were both sitting on the castle wall watching morning training, keeping a particularly close eye on Bertholdt, Reiner and Annie near the back of the pack.

 

"I'm _not_ going to kiss him," Levi answered, somehow knowing who Hanji was referring to and angry at zher for bringing this topic up. He already felt unsteady; he didn't need another nagging voice in his ear.

 

Hanji leaned forward slightly to study his face. "So why were you cuddling in the forest?"

 

Levi was really starting to curse his decisions in that forest. "I was keeping him close in case of danger."

 

Hanji rolled one shoulder up with a shrug. "That's fine. But what you were doing is also called _spooning_."

 

"I'm twelve years older," Levi reminded himself as much as Hanji. "I love him but I'm not attracted to him in _that_ way."

 

He expected Hanji to drop the topic then. Zhe had had zher fun and could no doubt tell that Levi was uncomfortable. Unfortunately zhe seemed unwilling to change the subject. "I don't see why not. He's grown into a fine young man." The growl that clawed up Levi's throat was instinctive and primal. Hanji smirked. "Feeling a little possessive?"

 

"You're almost as old as I am," Levi pointed out.

 

Hanji winked at him. "I'm not the one who wants to kiss him."

 

"I don't want to kiss him," Levi said through clenched teeth. Hanji opened zher mouth again and Levi finally broke. "Hanji, stop, _please_."

 

He felt zher hand tentatively touch his shoulder and Levi shrugged it off as he buried his fingers in his hair. "You do want to kiss him, don't you?" This time Hanji's voice was heavy with sad understanding.

 

"I don't want to kiss him," Levi insisted again, though he wasn't sure if that was true anymore. "I just don't want him to kiss anyone else," he finally admitted. " _Fuck_."

 

"I'm sorry," Hanji sighed, touching his knee for the briefest moment before giving him space again, just to remind him that he wasn't alone. "You shouldn't beat yourself up though. It makes sense. You two have always been close, and you were always a bit possessive of him. It's not surprising that those feelings would turn more adult as you both grew up."

 

"I don't care if it _makes sense_ ," Levi hissed. "I don't _want this_. I don't want my body to remember how peacefully I sleep with him beside me and insist that _it can't hurt_. He's with Greg. I'm with Erwin. I'm _happy_ with Erwin. Why would I leave the person who knows me better than anyone else and cares about me for some shitty kid who doesn't know jack shit?"

 

"Well he knows more than jack shit," Hanji pursed zher lips thoughtfully. "I'd argue that Eren knows just as much about you as Erwin does, and cares about you just as much. He's just an idiot about certain things because he's still young and learning."

 

"You're not helping," he informed zher.

 

Hanji shrugged a bit helplessly. "So what are you going to do?"

 

"Nothing." Levi had never been more certain of a statement in his life. "I just allowed the boundaries to blur for a moment. I won't let it happen again. And I'll sleep in Erwin's bed more often."

 

It looked like Hanji was thinking of saying something but in the end zhe just gave a small smile and nudged him. "If you ever want to talk..."

 

"Yeah, I know."

 

"Good." Hanji leaned back on zher hands as zhe returned zher gaze to the courtyard. Levi was grateful to zher when zhe started up a new conversation. "It looks like the trio is really trying to fit in and start a new life. They're a bit rough around the edges but everyone seems to have accepted them."

 

Levi focused again on Bert, Reiner and Annie, glad to have something else to hold his attention. He watched them go through the motions of the new moves being taught before they paired off. At the moment they were being introduced into all of the training alongside the others and then taken aside after to practice on moves they had never experienced before. They weren't being held back from anything except for Manoeuvre Gear, which Erwin had told them would be withheld until later. Bert, Reiner and Annie hadn't experienced the sensation of flying on their own ability yet so they didn't fight the Commander, not yet knowing what they were missing.

 

"Have you learned a lot from them?" Levi asked. He knew that in the afternoons when the rest of the trainees were working with their Gear, the trio was commandeered by Hanji who posed an endless string of questions about the world beyond the wall.

 

"So much," Hanji gave a blissful sigh, grinning widely. "They helped me identify at least half of the samples I've managed to collect over the last few years in a matter of days, and tell me more of their properties as well. I've also been able to create a more detailed map of the area surrounding the wall, and extend it at least a few miles further than we've ever gone."

 

By now Levi knew not to ask the relevance of all this information. Who knew, someday this might come in handy. Maybe someday this war would end and Erwin would get his expedition after all, the Survey Corps in tow as they began a new adventure. "Maybe they could even teach us a few things about living in the wilderness," Levi thought aloud, still watching the courtyard as everyone began to pair off. He purposefully made sure that his eyes didn't linger on Eren longer than on anyone else.

 

"That's what I was thinking!" Hanji exclaimed excitedly. Zhe was loud enough that the trainees all startled and glanced up at them on the wall. Eren offered a small wave which Levi didn't return, silently sending Eren back to work. "I know we're capable but what if we ever lose all our supplies or something? It would be invaluable to learn how to truly live off the land, and there would be no better trainers than them."

 

"Well, talk to them the next time you're working with them," Levi said, standing up to begin stretching his legs. "The trainees only have a little over a year left and they know all the basics. Now is a good time to add in some extra lessons before they start becoming lazy asses."

 

Hanji shielded zher eyes from the sun and looked up at Levi. "Where are you off to?"

 

"I only have an hour left before I take over and handle some of the training for the day. These kids don't know enough about dagger technique for my liking," Levi explained. "I've been away so much recently that my room is filthy and I'm going to use this hour. Problem?"

 

"No problem," Hanji said cheerfully. "I'm just nosy."

 

"As I know far too well." He didn't bother giving a wave when Hanji shouted out a farewell, though he knew that zhe didn't take it personally. It wasn't that he was angry with Hanji about the previous discussion surrounding Eren; Levi was angry with himself. And though he was determined to uphold his statement that he had no intention of pursuing anything, the conversation still left him feeling annoyingly unsettled and queasy. An hour alone was exactly what he needed to regain control of his thoughts and put up his barriers before training Eren and the others in close combat skills.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes: Levi and Eren spend a night alone in the forest for Eren's birthday.

"So what are you going to get me for my birthday?"

 

Levi looked up from his book at Eren, both of them seated on a couch by one of the fires. Levi had made it a point to not end up alone with Eren these last few months but once in a while it couldn't be helped. Especially when Eren purposefully sought him out if Levi disappeared for what Eren considered to be too long. "What do you want? I thought everyone was already throwing you a party." Levi had heard about the preparations.

 

"They are."

 

"And I already got you a dagger."

 

"You did," Eren agreed. He leaned closer and Levi leaned back. "But I'm seventeen this weekend. That's an important age. I'm practically an adult."

 

"Then shouldn't you be whining _less_ for presents?" Levi raised an eyebrow.

 

"This is the last year I can beg before I need to stop," Eren informed him as if there was a rulebook on birthdays.

 

"And what do you feel is important enough to beg for?" Levi asked. It wasn't that he was opposed to getting Eren an extra present for his birthday, though he knew it might spoil the brat a bit. No, Levi was scared of what it was Eren might ask for. Levi wasn't sure he would call it flirty, but ever since their cuddle in the forest, Levi had noticed that Eren was acting more intimate with Levi. Eren wasn't acting inappropriately, per se. He just seemed determined to remind Levi and everyone else that they had grown up together, knew a lot about each other, and had a close bond. Things like starting friendly debates, touching Levi's shoulder, and standing closer than strictly necessary: all behaviour that didn't break any rules but that no other trainee would attempt.

 

"Don't laugh," Eren warned, nervous all at once. "But I'd really like to just spend a day with you."

 

"You already spend time with me," Levi said in confusion. "Why would you beg for something you already have?"

 

"I don't mean the normal 'see you around the castle' sort of day," Eren admitted, eyes on his hands which were clutching the fabric of his pants tightly. "I mean me and you getting away from HQ for a day, like we used to."

 

Levi remembered those trips, and as the memories returned he realized that he missed them too. It wasn't appropriate for him to take Eren out on outings now that Eren was a trainee; although everyone knew that Levi had raised Eren, it still wouldn't be good for Levi to play obvious favourites. But Levi remembered flying through the trees with Eren using their Gear just because they could, or sneaking out late at night to lie in the field and watch the stars.

 

"Where would you possibly want to go?" Levi wondered, realizing that he should probably be turning Eren down right away and yet curious to know exactly what it was Eren was asking for.

 

"I was thinking about us going to that hideaway you told me about all those years ago," Eren said. "I'm glad I never had to run away and stay there, but I've always been curious to see it."

 

"It's dangerous beyond the wall, now more than ever based on the information Bert and the others gave us," Levi argued, already shaking his head and returning to his book.

 

"Levi, _please_ ," Eren moaned as he got off the couch and kneeled between Levi's legs, one hand on each knee. " _Please_."

 

This wasn't fair. Levi wondered if Eren was doing this on purpose or if he was as oblivious as always. Deciding that he didn't care, Levi smacked Eren somewhat seriously with his book, startling a yelp out of Eren as he let go of Levi's knees and lifted his hands to protect himself. "Get up," Levi ordered, not willing to have anyone walk in on this.

 

Eren kept his hands to himself but he didn't stand up. In the shadow of the fire Eren's eyes were dark and imploring. "I know that next year I'm graduating and I'll probably get sent far away to some outpost and never see you. I understand that's my duty but I want to spend all the time with you that I can before then."

 

Levi swallowed his inward groan at Eren's impeccable ability to draw up situations where Levi wanted to break his own rules. Tentatively Levi slid his fingers into Eren's hair, caressing comfortingly. "You choose your location when you graduate," he told Eren. "And unless you want me gone, you're a fool to think you'd be rid of me so easily." Despite these conflicting emotions and resulting frustration, Levi wanted Eren close by.

 

Eren leaned into Levi's touch, relief obvious on his face. Still he wouldn't let up. "Just one day?"

 

Levi weighed the pros and cons in his head and finally sighed. " _One day_ ," he confirmed sternly. "We'll leave tomorrow morning and be back Saturday morning for the party everyone is throwing you."

 

"Thank you!" Eren grinned and reached forward to hug Levi around the middle, but that was putting Eren too deep between his legs and Levi gently nudged him back with a foot pressed against Eren's chest. Eren stood and moved to hug Levi again and Levi held up his book in warning, causing Eren to hesitate and smile sheepishly. "I'm going to go pack."

 

"You do that," Levi grumbled, opening his book again and doing his best to focus on the words scrawled across the page.

 

What was he getting himself into?

 

#

 

"This is the best day ever!" Eren shouted excitedly as they dropped off their horses at the stable and walked towards the base of the wall. In tandem they were checking over their Gear to ensure each buckle and strap was secure, and that they had more than enough supplies and air canisters to get them to the hideout and back safely.

 

"Just remember the rules," Levi chided. "No wandering off, no excessive noise, and if there's any threat we head straight back for the wall. Understand? We don't need to wage war on both sides of the wall."

 

Eren saluted him even as he bounced eagerly on the balls of his feet. "I promise! But you need to promise me something too." Levi gave Eren a wary look. "No holding back today!" Eren insisted. "Let's just have fun."

 

Levi pursed his lips. It felt like all he did these days was hold back; maintaining control over his wandering thoughts and confusing desires. Simple, innocent fun sounded like exactly what he needed to release some tension and he nodded, offering his own promise in return. And then, deciding that now was as good of a time to start as any, he began repelling to the top of the wall without giving a warning. Eren was left on the ground to scramble up behind him, shouting at him with no true anger.

 

Levi picked up so much speed and momentum that he didn't even touch down on the top of the wall, instead sailing right over and beginning his quick descent. He couldn't help but smile as Eren mimicked him, giving a contained holler at the dip of his stomach as he began to plummet. This time Levi didn't force himself into Eren's personal space, trusting Eren's abilities with the Gear.

 

Eren had made a good point months ago in the forest; he wasn't a child anymore. Which Levi found impossible to forget as Eren edged towards the end of puberty. His voice was lower and remained that way now, no longer dipping or breaking. The muscles across his body were becoming more defined anytime Levi saw them, and his face was less boyish. Not to mention the fact that Eren had begun to grow scruff on his jaw and Levi had needed to get him a razor blade to shave in the mornings.

 

"Getting too old for this, Captain?" Eren teased, his voice close to Levi's ear.

 

The words and Eren's close proximity was enough to jolt Levi out of his thoughts as he realized that he had been drifting. Refocusing, Levi planted his feet on the next large branch and launched himself forward, breezing past Eren as they wove their way together through the forest. Levi was pleased to see that even after so many years, Eren still clearly remembered the route they had taken to the clearing where Levi had first led Eren beyond the wall.

 

"I'm not old," Levi called back to him. "I'm _experienced_."

 

"Call it whatever makes you feel better," Eren laughed as he caught up and smacked Levi's arm in passing, tagging him. "Let's see if you can catch me!"

 

Levi zipped forward, tracking Eren as he jumped through the trees. Eren was zigzagging, trying to knock Levi off his trail but Levi kept pushing straight forward, judging when Eren would realign with his path. Because even though Eren was flying around erratically and taunting him, Levi could tell that Eren _wanted_ Levi to catch him. And it was only a matter of time until... "Gotcha, you little shit!" Levi exclaimed as he tapped Eren on the back and then veered sharply to the left and up, disappearing into the canopy.

 

Rather than fly off again and make noise, Levi tucked himself away in a thick clump of branches and leaves. He covered his mouth to muffle his chuckle, not wanting to give away his hiding spot as Eren searched fruitlessly for him. "Where the fuck...?" Eren groaned, landing on a lower branch on the next tree over from Levi. Seeing his opportunity, Levi jumped down and landed in front of Eren, his weight causing them both to wobble on the branch before they both found their balance. Eren scowled, though playfully. "It's supposed to be a race, not a hiding game."

 

"That's your fault for not clarifying the rules," Levi teased and flicked his finger against Eren's forehead. "And now I've gotten you twice," he added as he let himself fall from the branch, sending out a hook to continue on towards the hideout. It had been a long time since he had come this way as well, but he knew they would reach the stream soon.

 

Eren came down like a ton of silent bricks against Levi's back from behind, knocking the air from his lungs and sending Levi sprawling on the grass right where the forest ended. Eren landed on top of him and used his whole weight to press down and keep Levi pinned in place. "Now I've got you!" Eren purred triumphantly.

 

Levi gave a huff and bucked his hips up, trying to dislodge Eren. Immediately Eren's hold on Levi began to weaken and it took another few seconds of squirming and bucking before Levi managed to kick Eren off and send him sprawling on his back. Levi straddled Eren and sat down, using his weight to hold down Eren's lower body while he clasped Eren's wrists with his own hands and pinned them to the grass above Eren's head. "You think you can pin me?" he challenged.

 

Levi was still trying to catch his breath, panting as his heart raced with the adrenaline in his body. It took him a few extra seconds to realize that Eren's moan wasn't one of defeat, and that although Eren's body was moving, it was not with the express purpose of dislodging him. Levi stood in a rush and took a few steps back, trying to put some distance between himself and Eren's flushed skin. Eren remained sprawled on the grass, throwing an arm over his eyes as he struggled for breath.

 

There was nothing to be done. They either had to talk about it or pretend nothing had happened, and Levi wasn't ready to broach that topic. After all, he had no way of knowing what Eren was thinking. Sure, he had kissed Levi but that had been six years ago when he didn't know what he was doing. Eren had a boyfriend now, and it wasn't fair for Levi to project his own confused thoughts on the boy. He had to remember that Eren was just a horny teenager; the weight of a warm body pressing him into the grass would've turned Levi on at that age too.

 

Decision made, Levi nudged Eren with his foot. When Eren uncovered his eyes he looked mortified and Levi knew he had made the right decision in letting this slide; there was no sense embarrassing Eren for a normal reaction. Levi held out a hand in offering. "Come on, brat. I want to get there so we can eat."

 

Eren stared at the offered hand for a long moment before accepting it, allowing Levi to pull him to his feet. "Yeah," Eren laughed nervously. Levi tried not to notice how Eren was fidgeting with the waistband of his pants, resituating them. "I'm starving."

 

Levi turned his gaze away to the stream, studying it for any hint of danger or changes. He had been surprised that no one had tracked them down so far; neither of them had paid particular attention to staying quiet. But Levi wasn't going to complain as long as the tribes and wild animals left them alone. Levi tilted his head and began following the stream by hooking his Gear to the outermost trees of the forest, not wanting to leave any tracks behind in the soft mud of the stream banks.

 

Eren followed behind him easily and a short while later they came across a huge rock face with vines draping down in front. "Remember what I told you?" Levi asked over his shoulder. Eren landed beside him and nodded, looking determined. "Show me."

 

Eren touched down in front of the large rock face and began to skim his fingers along the rock, the curtains of vines swaying at his touch. It took a few minutes but Levi was patient, remaining suspended on a tree to keep a better lookout for any potential danger. Eventually Eren's hand disappeared fully from view and they both knew he had found the hidden cave. "Got it!"

 

Levi landed at Eren's side and ruffled his hair proudly. He stepped in through the vines first, not knowing who or what might've made the cave home since the last time Levi had been here years prior. Levi kept his swords out, Eren flanking him, but other than a few startled birds that raced for the safety of the open sky, the cave was deserted. Levi and Eren had both brought a small travel pack with a bed roll and some food but that was made unnecessary when Levi turned a corner of the cave and found his stash completely untouched.

 

He had stored items that would help Eren return back over the wall and live comfortably – money, extra air canisters and clothing – as well as items that would keep him alive if he had to remain in the cave for an extended period of time – hunting equipment, warm blankets, long-lasting food and supplies to start a fire. The cave would be a perfect place to hide since most people wouldn't think to explore what looked like solid rock. Not to mention the fact that it was positioned right near fresh running water and there was a hole in the ceiling that allowed for proper ventilation if a fire was lit inside.

 

"You set all this up for me?" Eren asked in surprise as he looked through everything.

 

"Just in case," Levi said. "There's no knowing what will happen in the middle of a war."

 

"I wish the war could end," Eren sighed. "I'm always so worried thinking about what could happen to you, or any of my friends."

 

"War is not an enjoyable thing. None of us want it to continue," Levi said as he stood by Eren, their eyes locked. "What's important is to not lose sight of _why_ we are fighting. Giving up on the war will only lead to more death if the outer territories are starved out."

 

"I understand. It's just stressful."

 

"I know," Levi grimaced, remembering his own fears whenever there was a clash between the Survey Corps and the Military Police, and the sickening drop in his stomach when a report came in and informed him of those who would never return back to HQ. Then Levi pushed those thoughts momentarily out of his head. "Hey, it's your damn birthday. Stop being so depressing and let's get some damn food."

 

"You're right, I'm sorry," Eren smiled sheepishly. "Food sounds really good."

 

Levi decided that since they had all afternoon and evening, he would teach Eren how to fish. He got Eren to grab the fishing rod and bait from the stash while Levi pulled out a container of food from his pack to tide them over until they caught something. They traveled a few paces down the stream from the cave and Levi showed Eren how to get the bait on the hook and cast the line into a slower-running and deeper section of the stream where he saw some fish resting near the sandy bottom.

 

Once Eren got the hang of it they sat side by side on the bank, neither of them commenting or moving away when their knees brushed. Eren was in charge of catching the fish while Levi stacked the crackers and cheese from his container and handed half of them off to Eren while he ate the other half. For the first little while Eren was too jumpy and reeled in an empty line, but after a little while he gave an excited yelp and reeled in a large flopping fish that they actually managed to get into the bucket they had already filled with water behind them.

 

The proud grin on Eren's face had Levi smiling as well, unable and unwilling to hide his happiness. After all, it was just him and Eren out here. Levi didn't need to uphold his hard-ass attitude with Eren the way he did around all of the other trainees. Over the years as Eren got older Levi had forgotten this, how wonderful it was to just be himself without any fear of losing respect or trust. "Don't think you're done yet," Levi laughed when Eren eyed the bucket hungrily. "We need at least one more fish."

 

Eren pouted but didn't argue. Levi followed Eren when he suggested moving a little further down the stream since all of the fish at their first location had probably scattered. Levi brought the bucket and divvied up the last of the crackers and cheese between them. It took a long time for any fish to bite and Levi ended up lying back on the grass, soaking in the sun. He was right beside Eren and the longer Levi stared at his back the more Levi wanted to trace circles there just to see if Eren would react.

 

He held back and it was worth not breaking Eren's concentration because the next fish he reeled in was large enough to easily count for two. They forced the fish into the bucket and then moved further away from the stream. Levi found a smooth patch of rock and slid one of the knives from his belt. "I'll show you how to gut and prepare a fish and you can try on the smaller one, alright?"

 

Eren was hesitating behind him, already looking uncertain. "Is it going to hurt them?"

 

Levi remained patient. "Of course it is; we're killing them."

 

"Can we do it fast?" Eren pleaded, already cringing.

 

Levi considered the request and then shrugged. "Many people don't remove the head but we can do that first. That way it won't suffer." Eren nodded quickly and remained a few steps away. "Alright, watch closely."

 

Levi held the fish down and quickly removed the fish's head. It wasn't the best method but it wouldn't spoil the meat so Levi didn't mind. Eren gave an uncomfortable whine when the blood began to pool and for the most part Levi ignored him, focused on his task as he gutted and cleaned the fish. When he was finished Levi threw the scraps into the stream to be carried down river; some other animal would find and eat it, but Levi wouldn't leave the scraps near their camp to draw attention.

 

He rinsed off his hands and when he returned he saw that Eren was still standing stiffly and pale. "Eren, you're worrying me," Levi admitted.

 

Eren looked at him quickly. "What? How?"

 

"Because I need you to survive this damn war and you're practically snivelling over a fish," Levi snapped. "How do you expect to kill someone if you need to? I can assure you that killing a person is even more unpleasant than gutting a fish."

 

"I could do it if I had to," Eren looked away in shame.

 

"I need you to show me." Levi set aside the first cleaned fish and held out his knife in offering. Eren's hand was shaking but he took the knife and knelt where Levi had been positioned, Levi shuffling over to kneel beside him. He watched Eren swallow and reach into the bucket to pull out the second fish, holding it down to the stone. "You can't hesitate," Levi instructed him quietly. "If you hesitate or second guess yourself, the fish will suffer more. Resolve yourself and follow through."

 

Eren was still trembling and Levi rested a silent hand on Eren's forearm to steady him. Eren took a deep breath and pressed down hard with the blade, removing the fish's head in one clean cut. Levi continued to touch Eren's arm, not moving him but just acting as a comforting stabilizer as Eren released the breath he had been holding in a rush. Once the head was off Eren's movements calmed, knowing he was no longer causing pain. Levi gave a few suggestions here and there but mostly just remained a silent support until Eren was done.

 

Carefully Levi leaned in and nudged Eren lightly. "I'm proud of you." Eren released a shuddering breath and offered a weak smile and Levi knew he'd be okay. "Come on, let's finish cleaning and get a fire going so we can cook the fish before they go to waste."

 

He sent Eren back to the cave to start a fire while Levi got rid of the rest of the scraps and scrubbed everything clean. Levi grabbed a frying pan from the stash of items when he got back into the cave and situated it over the fire Eren was bringing to life under the ventilating hole in the ceiling. Once the fire was burning strongly and the fish were beginning to cook Levi spread one large, thick blanket on the ground to avoid sitting on the cold stone and leaned back against the wall. He didn't complain when Eren sat beside him and spread another blanket over both of them, or when they fell into deep but easy conversation.

 

The conversation continued long after the fish was finished and eaten, and Levi realized that if they wanted to do anything else outdoors they only had two hours of sunlight left at best. He suggested that they just use some prepared food from their packs for dinner so they wouldn't have to hunt again but asked Eren if there was anything else he wanted to do for his birthday trip.

 

Eren pursed his lips in thought and then grinned. "Let's go swimming!"

 

Levi shuddered at the thought of the cold water but wouldn't deny Eren's wish and would also be grateful for the opportunity to fully wash off after gutting the fish. They extinguished the fire and peeled off all of their Gear, leaving only their bottom layer of clothing on. Levi led Eren on a ten minute walk upstream to where he knew a small waterfall was with a relatively deep pool below that was perfect for swimming. They both stripped down to their underwear and set their clothing a few feet away from the water, and Levi absolutely did not look over Eren's body.

 

He didn't even get a chance to give a warning about the water's temperature before Eren was racing forward and jumping in, immediately disappearing below the water's surface. Hesitantly Levi dipped a toe in the shallow water and was pleasantly surprised to find that the sun must've warmed the small pool of water up to a reasonably warm temperature. It was the only reason he didn't flay Eren when the younger boy jumped out and dragged Levi in with him.

 

Underwater Levi shuddered, not because of the temperature of the water but because of the sensation of Eren's slick skin brushing against his own. A deadly spark of electricity danced down Levi's spine before he pushed Eren away and resurfaced, dragging in air. Eren popped up beside him with a playful grin and then dove back down briefly. The next time Eren resurfaced there must've been something in Levi's expression because Eren raised his eyebrows. "What?"

 

"I didn't think you'd know how to swim," Levi said. "We never had the opportunity back at the castle."

 

"Oh, my parents taught me when I was younger," Eren told Levi. His smile lost some of its brightness but it was still warm and fond. "They told me I should've been born a fish with how quickly I learned to swim. It was always a lot of fun when they would take me, Armin and Mikasa on a trip to the lake."

 

"Maybe when we bring you trainees back over the wall we can make swimming an option for a day," Levi pondered to himself, elaborating when he saw Eren's look of surprise. "Remember that some groups didn't come over the wall with us when we collected the trio. The others still need that opportunity."

 

"My vote is yes!" Eren grinned and then dipped below the water again.

 

Levi was a strong swimmer but not quite as energetic as Eren and spent his time doing laps across the width of the pond, pace lazy even as the sun began to dip towards the top of the trees. He ignored it each time Eren swam below him and Levi felt air bubbles or the current tease his skin, kick-starting his imagination with thoughts and images he forcefully pushed back down. The problem was that Eren seemed to be getting bolder and eventually it was Eren's leg or hand that was brushing Levi's stomach or leg and Levi would almost be satisfied if he ended up kicking Eren in the face.

 

Levi's patience began to wear thin as he grew hungry. He swam to the edge of the pond and pulled himself out, laying down on the grass in a patch of sun to dry off as much as possible before putting his clothes back on. It didn't take long for Eren to realize that Levi was gone and for his head to pop out. "Tired already?"

 

"I'm just drying off while there's still some sun left," Levi defended, remaining where he was.

 

He heard a splash as Eren swam around for another few minutes and then lay down on the grass beside Levi, sharing the sun's heat. Levi shivered when the sun dipped low in the sky but luckily he was already dry except for his hair. Eren was still a little damp but pulled his clothes back on with only slight whining before they headed back to their cave. Again Levi left Eren in charge of rekindling the fire while Levi explored the edge of the forest, looking for more dead wood they could use for the fire throughout the evening.

 

Once the fire was burning healthily and they were done dinner Levi and Eren returned to their blankets. First they set down their bed rolls to soften the ground they were sitting on and then they bundled up in the blankets again, letting the heat of the fire soak through the blankets. They played cards for a while and then talked, letting the hours pass by easily.

 

Levi was just about to suggest that they sleep early, knowing they would have to wake up early the next morning to eat and head back to the castle, when Eren spoke. "Will you go stargazing with me?"

 

In a rush Levi was transported back six years. He remembered the cool breeze against his body, wrapping his arm around an eleven year old boy who had somehow become the center of his world. The softly spoken words, the peaceful silences and then... _lips_. Six years ago Levi had been caught off guard and slightly horrified. Now he didn't know what he would do if Eren tried to repeat that moment, not with six more years of companionship between them and with Eren having a body Levi could actually admire. "It's cold out there," Levi balked.

 

"We can bring blankets," Eren suggested hopefully.

 

It was too risky. "We should sleep."

 

Levi forced himself to stare straight ahead when Eren whispered in his ear, warm breath on Levi's skin. "It's my birthday."

 

Levi clenched his eyes closed. _Fuck_. "Fine. Get more blankets from the pile. I don't want to be sleeping with the ones covered in mud and grass."

 

They didn't venture far from the cave, setting down the blanket just outside the hidden mouth of the cave. There would probably be a better vantage point somewhere nearby but Levi didn't know the area well enough and refused to explore in the dark. Eren seemed happy where they ended up, able to see the majority of the sky with the tree line behind them.

 

Eren curled up close beside Levi under the blankets and Levi mentally cursed his racing heart. Why the hell was he getting so worked up over a seventeen year old boy? Sure, he cared deeply about Eren, but there was no reason for his body to notice the way it felt to have Eren's body heat emanating against him. Levi thought of Erwin, the way the larger man's hands held Levi's body and his lips dragged pleasure from Levi's lips. However, it was only enough to relax Levi until he felt Eren's hair brush against his shoulder when he shifted around.

 

"Was it a good birthday?" Levi heard himself asking.

 

"It was perfect," Eren said readily. His voice was warm and sleepy.

 

"And you have a party to look forward to."

 

"Yeah," Eren yawned and smiled. "Though I have to admit – and you can't tell anyone this because I don't want to sound too ungrateful – I would be happy just staying out here for another few days with you."

 

"You love parties," Levi grumbled. "And they suit you and your loud mouth."

 

Eren chuckled, not offended in the least. "But I love this more."

 

Levi fell silent then, awash with a sense of contentment. They stared at the stars for a long time, not bothering to keep track of time. No more words were said between them; somehow it didn't feel like anything else needed to be said. Levi nudged Eren when he heard him begin to snore and they both shuffled back into the cave to sleep.

 

Levi regretted extinguishing the fire and the warmth it provided but wouldn't risk it getting out of hand while they slept. He realized that it wouldn't be a problem anyway as soon as he slid under the blankets. Levi was sharing them with Eren and although Levi lay down with a bit of space between them, Eren's body heat had already created a cocoon of warmth for Levi. Eren had already drifted off and it was easy for Levi to let his own consciousness drift away with the warmth and comforting sound of Eren's even breathing beside him.

 

#

 

Levi woke slowly but it didn't take long for him to realize that he was being spooned from behind. Levi was lying on his side facing the cave entrance with his back facing the wall. Eren, sometime during the night, had shuffled closer and moulded his body to Levi's back. Levi could feel where his shirt had been hiked up, Eren's hand resting on the bare skin of Levi's stomach. He could also feel the calm in-out of Eren's breath tickling Levi's neck where Eren's face was tucked close.

 

It was hard to tell what time it was, though Levi felt well rested. There was a part of him insisting that he should elbow Eren in the jaw to teach him a lesson for being so handsy, and another equally strong part begging for him to relax and remain still. This time the situation wasn't his fault, and as long as he pretended to continue sleeping he would be able to shrug this off. Levi was also interested to see how Eren would react when he woke up in this position, wondering how Greg factored into all this.

 

After some deliberation Levi consciously relaxed his body and tried to get his heart to stop stuttering. His eyes drifted closed and although he wouldn't be going back to sleep, it was easy to doze while Eren continued to breathe deeply against Levi's neck. The frustration and the guilt would come later when Levi was forced to admit that he had willingly chosen to remain in this position next to Eren; it would be impossible to avoid any regret when Levi was back at the castle and in Erwin's arms. But for now he was being greedy and enjoying every second.

 

It was obvious when Eren began to wake up. Levi could feel his quickening breath against his neck and Eren's heart pressed against his back. Levi did his best to keep his own breathing even and his body loose, not wanting to give away that he had been consciously lying here in Eren's arms for a while. He kept his eyes closed but focused intently as he heard Eren groan and felt him rise up slightly on an elbow, perhaps taking in the situation.

 

And then, much to Levi's disbelief, Eren lay right back down and returned to his previous position. As if there wasn't anything wrong with spooning his commanding officer and guardian, as if their bodies were _meant_ to slot together this easily. Levi was suddenly terrified of giving himself away as his heartbeat picked up, especially when Eren's fingers traced small circles across Levi's abs that made Levi want to squirm. Eren pressed his face against the crook of Levi's neck, breathed in deeply, hummed, and then began to doze anew.

 

Eren could be half asleep and mistaking Levi for Greg, Levi reasoned to himself. Either that or Levi was in deeper shit than he had anticipated. The absolute worst part was that he didn't have the motivation to end this charade, choosing instead to remain curled up under the blankets with Eren as they both dozed. However, Levi could only stay there for so long before nature's instincts began to kick in, demanding that he get something to eat.

 

Not wanting to give away the fact that he had been awake for a long time in Eren's arms, Levi rolled over slightly and elbowed Eren in the side. Eren jolted back away with a grunt, his arm sliding from around Levi to hold his own injured stomach. "Fuck off," Eren groaned into the blankets, cringing.

 

"That's what you get for spooning a superior officer," Levi informed him tightly and stood, letting the blankets flop on top of Eren.

 

Eren groaned again and bundled himself up in the blankets, seemingly intent on ignoring the world and going back to sleep. Levi was annoyed by Eren's laziness but also slightly grateful for the fact that the talk about their sleeping arrangement wasn't going to be broached. Levi took the opportunity to head outside to piss and wash his hands before heading back in to get the fire started. Still wanting to avoid any discussion, Levi left Eren in the corner until breakfast was prepared.

 

Eren had remained a silent bundle of blankets and Levi wondered if he had fallen back to sleep. But when Levi gently nudged what he assumed was Eren's back with his foot, Eren rolled over and blinked up at him easily, already awake. He looked nervous, no doubt expecting to be chewed out for his actions. Levi just held up a bowl to indicate his purpose. "Get off your lazy ass and eat. We have a long journey back."

 

He sat up and took the offered bowl carefully, still keeping the blankets encircled around him. "Thank you, sir."

 

"Don't call me 'sir' out here," Levi grumbled, sitting down on the edge of the blankets to eat his own breakfast. Boundaries needed to be redefined but Levi had never enjoyed hearing Eren call him 'sir' or 'Captain', adding formality to their tight bond. "It's just us."

 

Obviously reassured by these words, Eren gave a wider smile. "Thank you, Levi."

 

"You're welcome, you little shit."

 

Eren merely laughed and for some reason Levi didn't mind.

 

After they were finished eating they packed up and prepared to head back for the castle. Levi had to admit that he wouldn't mind spending another day out here as well, enjoying the peaceful silence of the forest and Eren's company. But he realized that the longer he was out here alone with Eren the more confused he was getting, his resolve weakening. And Levi also knew that he'd be skinned alive if he made Eren miss the party everyone was planning for him.

 

They grabbed some items from the stash not worth leaving behind since Eren was older now. They decided to bring back the money and the spare pieces of Gear now that they were aware of the potential threat of someone sneaking over the wall for malevolent purposes. Levi cleaned all of the items they had used while Eren cleared out the ashes of the fire, and by midmorning they were heading back towards the wall.

 

This time they didn't stop to play tag or hide and seek, scaling the wall and grabbing a small lunch from the stables before riding off in the direction of HQ. The castle was just coming into view on the horizon when Eren called out to him. "Hey, Levi!"

 

Levi glanced over. "What?"

 

He saw that Eren was slowing his horse to a stop and Levi pulled on the reins of his own horse, turning back around and trotting back to Eren's side to give him an expectant look. Eren was wringing the reins in his hands, not quite meeting Levi's gaze. "About this morning—"

 

"Drop it," Levi cut him off.

 

Eren's shoulders dropped, though Levi couldn't tell if it was due to disappointment or relief. "Okay. But... Will you come to my party tonight?"

 

"I thought it was for you trainees," Levi raised an eyebrow. "None of us old shits invited."

 

"Maybe I want you old shits there," Eren teased.

 

"Why, so we can confiscate the alcohol someone has no doubt managed to sneak?" Levi shot back with a chuckle.

 

Eren pretended to glower. "Why would you confiscate it? Just join us."

 

That sounded like a dangerous situation to get himself into. "You'll have more fun without me. Just enjoy."

 

"It's my birthday," Eren sulked.

 

"It was your birthday _yesterday_ ," Levi argued. "And we went beyond the wall just like you wanted."

 

"But now I want you at the party," Eren whined.

 

"We don't always get everything we want," Levi sighed and turned his horse back towards the castle. "Stop moping and come on."

 

Eren didn't protest and followed Levi sullenly to the castle. Levi was surprised to find Erwin standing in the courtyard waiting for them, smiling and approaching as Levi and Eren dismounted. "Happy belated birthday, Eren," Erwin smiled warmly and then stepped into Levi's personal space, winding a strong arm around Levi's waist to pull him flush against Erwin. "Welcome back," Erwin purred to him before kissing him deeply.

 

Levi tensed immediately and shoved Erwin away, causing them both to stumble slightly with his force. "What the hell?" Levi muttered. Not that anyone was paying them close attention but Levi wasn't comfortable with public displays of affection. "Since when did I fucking agree to kissing in public?"

 

There was a heavy moment of silence and when Levi looked between Eren and Erwin, he realized that he had managed to hurt the two people he cared about most without even meaning to. Eren's face was openly hurt as though Levi had slapped him. Erwin had more control over his features but Levi knew him well enough to recognize the pain in his eyes. "I'm sorry, Levi," Erwin spoke softly, shockingly subdued compared to his normal behaviour. "I forgot myself."

 

"I'll leave you two alone," Eren said tightly, snatching the reins of Levi's horse from his hand and leading both horses to the stables.

 

"I'll give you space," Erwin added, turning and heading back into the castle.

 

Levi looked between them again, both backs turned to him. Two men; one young and one older but both were his closest companions, both wielders of his heart. Yet he could only choose one. Levi felt like he was being torn in two, but after a long moment of indecision he bolted into the castle. These feelings for Eren were uncomfortably strong but they hadn't stood the test of time the way Levi's affections for Erwin had. Yes, Eren was growing up to become an attractive man and Levi liked who he could be around Eren. But Erwin was gorgeous as well and had been there for Levi for years.

 

He caught up with Erwin halfway back to his rooms and crowded Erwin against the hallway wall. "You know how I fucking feel about kissing in public," Levi growled right before he hooked a hand on the back of Erwin's neck and dragged him down into a burning kiss. Erwin moaned and gripped Levi's hips, nearly lifting Levi off his feet as they kissed. Then Levi pushed Erwin back again but stayed close, no intent of rejecting Erwin again. "Don't act like a fucking baby when you _know_ that I don't like it. That's bullshit."

 

"Apologies," Erwin whispered. His tone was sincere and warm, his eyes free of the pain Levi had put there moments prior. "Apologies, Rivaille," Erwin mumbled again as he ducked his head down, sucking little marks down the column of Levi's neck.

 

Levi groaned and rested his forehead against Erwin's shoulder, allowing the ministrations to continue. "What has gotten into you?"

 

Erwin held Levi tighter, curling his body against Erwin's chest. "Nothing worth mentioning," Erwin said against Levi's skin.

 

Erwin didn't have to say it. His recent behaviour and his tight embrace was enough for Levi to guess: Erwin was feeling jealous and possessive. Normally Levi liked it when Erwin was possessive of him but now it struck him with fear. Had Erwin noticed some change in Levi's behaviour that he hadn't managed to contain? Did he guess the confusing thoughts racing through Levi's mind? Was Levi going to lose Erwin if he didn't get these new desires under control? Probably, and the possibility scared him.

 

"Let's have a night to ourselves," he suggested in a rush. Erwin paused and met his gaze curiously. "The brats will all be partying and we sure as hell won't be supervising them."

 

Each passing second had Erwin looking happier and at ease. "What did you have in mind?"

 

Levi shrugged. He wasn't the one to normally come up with 'date' ideas. "I don't know. Dinner, a game of chess, a good fuck. Whatever."

 

"All of the above," Erwin decided, stealing another short kiss before releasing Levi from his grasp. "I'm sure you'll want to unpack and shower after being out in the forest. I'll finish up a few reports and you can come by when you're done."

 

Levi nodded his agreement and let Erwin continue up the stairs towards his rooms. Levi was about to follow but remembered that his items were still in the saddlebags on his horse. Cursing, Levi stormed back down the stairs and out towards the stables, hoping that Eren would be gone by the time he got there. Of course luck rarely seemed to be on Levi's side these days and he found Eren helpfully untacking Levi's horse when he arrived.

 

Eren looked up and then away quickly, seemingly intent on ignoring him. Levi wasn't going to prod a nest of hornets and remained silent, sneaking behind Eren to grab the saddlebags where they had been set in the corner of the stall. He heard the rustle of straw on the ground and spun on his heel but that just meant that Eren got his back pinned against the wall instead of his front. Eren was too close for comfort and Levi felt the momentary instinct to punch Eren in the jaw. That urge fell away when he saw how desperate and pained Eren looked.

 

"You could get in trouble for assaulting a superior officer," Levi warned, trying to end this confrontation before it really began.

 

Eren didn't take the bait. "This morning—"

 

"Eren," Levi narrowed his eyes.

 

"This morning," Eren pressed on. "Were you awake before you shoved me off?"

 

Levi opened his mouth and then closed it again, at a loss. If he told Eren the truth then it would make this whole situation even more difficult and complicated. It would send Eren mixed signals, which seemed like a real problem based on Eren's handsy behaviour and reactions to Levi's closeness or his kiss with Erwin. Telling the truth would also be admitting that Levi had knowingly chosen to lie there in Eren's arms. And yet the thought of lying had Levi's stomach twisting until he was certain he would be sick on his shoes. Eren's trust meant too much to him.

 

"Yes." Eren's eyes widened. It would've been funny if Levi's heart didn't feel so heavy. Eren leaned in, eyes focused on Levi's lips, but Levi sent him stumbling back a step or two. "That wasn't a damn invitation."

 

Eren hesitated, biting his bottom lip. "I don't understand."

 

"Yeah? Welcome to the fucking club," Levi huffed, crossing his arms in front of his chest. "Like I said earlier: drop it. You have Greg, I have Erwin, and it's better this way." Eren opened his mouth and Levi held up a hand, keeping him silent. "I don't want to hear a fucking sound pass those lips. Just go enjoy your party and leave me the fuck alone."

 

He grabbed the saddlebags and was halfway out of the stall when Eren spoke weakly. "How can I enjoy it without you there?"

 

"You'll just have to figure it out yourself," Levi said and stormed away, rushing to his rooms before he could run into anyone else. Socializing was the last thing on his mind right now. He dumped out his bags and put everything away with stiff, jerky movements. Levi was angry at Eren but mostly he was angry at himself. He didn't want to hurt Erwin _or_ Eren. He was just being greedy but that ended now. Levi finished unpacking and stepped into the shower, planning to let the hot water wash all of this away. He was going to spend a full evening and night with Erwin and enjoy every second of it.


	16. Chapter 16

He heard the stable doors open and fall closed and Levi looked up from the saddle he was scrubbing clean. The sound of boots echoed on the stone until Eren stepped close enough to be enveloped in the halo of light from the lantern on the ground by Levi's feet. "What are you doing out here so late?" Levi asked. "It's the middle of the night."

 

"I came to find you," Eren said as he stepped closer, a warm smile on his lips.

 

Levi abandoned his work and turned fully to face Eren. They were almost toe to toe now, Eren's beautiful eyes holding Levi's own. How odd it was to be looking up at Eren now, at least three inches in their height difference now when years ago Levi had carried Eren around in his arms. They were both in Survey Corps uniform, buckles and straps winding around their bodies. "Why did you need to find me?" he wondered, voice hushed without a reason.

 

Eren's smile turned into a smirk. He reached forward and although Levi tensed, he didn't step back as Eren gripped his hips. Then he watched with mingling horror and arousal as Eren sunk to his knees at Levi's feet. "I want to make you feel good," Eren breathed as his hands slid from Levi's hips to the front of his pants.

 

Levi hissed as Eren's warm palm pressed against him, and then he forcefully gripped Eren's wrist to still him. "Stop it."

 

"How stubborn do you insist on being?" Eren huffed, moving his free hand to the zipper of Levi's pants. Levi caught his other wrist, holding both questing hands away from his body. Not once did Eren break eye contact. "Are you really going to make us both wait until I'm officially eighteen?"

 

"I'm going to make _you_ wait until you come to your damn senses," Levi snapped. "Why would you want this with me?"

 

"Why wouldn't I?" Eren raised an eyebrow. "I am closer to you and trust you more than anyone else in the world. You're a part of my life and I want to be an even bigger part of yours." As Eren spoke he began to slowly reach towards Levi's body again, and Levi forgot to fight him. The heel of Eren's palm ground against Levi's crotch and Levi felt his breath hitch at the heat of it. "Just let me," Eren finally begged.

 

Levi's self-hatred was present but not strong enough as Levi released Eren's wrists. Immediately Eren's fingers began to work the buttons and zipper of Levi's uniform until his pants and underwear were tugged down just past the swell of his ass. Levi wasn't really hard yet but that didn't last long when Eren gripped his length with one hand and lapped at the head eagerly with his tongue. Levi groaned as he felt his cock twitch and swell, and all he could think to do was rest one hand on Eren's shoulder and the other at the base of Eren's skull.

 

Eren licked at the tip of Levi's cock until it was about half hard which was when Eren's lips parted and sucked Levi's length into his mouth. Eren swirled his tongue in a few circles before edging more of Levi into his mouth, driving Levi crazy as he saw Eren's cheek dent as Eren's mouth was filled with cock. "Fucking brat," Levi grunted as he tangled his fingers deep in Eren's hair.

 

Eren hummed happily and Levi cursed, his body curling forward. By now his cock was fully hard and twitching and Levi couldn't even bring himself to worry about someone walking in on them as Eren began bobbing his head. Eren's mouth was hot and wet and the suction was exactly what Levi needed for his toes to curl in his boots. "You shouldn't be this good," Levi grumbled, though Eren didn't answer him.

 

Levi could only pant and choke on his moans as Eren sucked him greedily, growing bolder and more confident the longer he remained on his knees. By now Levi's hips were beginning to sway, demanding the rhythm he needed as the coil of heat tightened at the base of his spine. He stared openly, mesmerized by the sight of Eren's lips spreading around his cock and his throat contracting each time he swallowed.

 

Levi could feel himself getting close and he began to use the grip he had with his fingers in Eren's hair to pull Eren's mouth more forcefully onto Levi's length. Eren moaned and looked up at Levi, his fingers digging crescents into Levi's hips. Eren didn't pull away though. He only relaxed his mouth further and left himself open for Levi to use, to take what he needed.

 

"You wanted it," Levi accused weakly as he began to bury his cock deep in the back of Eren's throat. Eren merely smiled and hummed in agreement, and that was Levi's undoing. Levi cried out sharply and thrust his hips forward, pumping his seed into Eren's mouth and watching with rapture as Eren swallowed each load dutifully.

 

When he was spent Levi struggled to remain standing, his knees threatening to buckle. His fingers remained knotted in Eren's hair but with less desperation as he finally allowed Eren to remove his mouth and take in deep gulps of air. Levi's cock was softening but a lingering spark of arousal traced his spine as he saw Eren looking up at him with big green eyes and a smile as he wiped a stray glob of come from the corner of his mouth with the back of his hand. "See?" Eren panted and laughed. "You should've let me do that sooner."

 

Levi sat up in bed with a gasp, his skin sticky with sweat and his erection tenting the blankets pooled around his waist. His heart was skipping in his chest and his need for release was so strong that as Levi lay back against the mattress his body arched, seeking some form of contact. Levi fumbled to get his hand under the blankets and grip himself tightly, hissing at the sensitivity of his cock to any stimuli.

 

He forced the images from his dream out of his mind, trying to forget the spread of Eren's lips, the bite of his nails and the heat in his eyes. Instead Levi thought of Erwin's large hands on his skin, exploring and holding him down, and the affectionate smiles he sometimes had on his face when he was fucking Levi particularly slow. But Levi could only feel his cock chafe at the rub of his hand, his thoughts of Erwin doing nothing to push him over the edge into blissful oblivion.

 

Out of sheer desperation for climax Levi let his dream seep back into his brain and his heels dug into the mattress as his cock twitched and spilled precome over his fingers. He was so close and he wanted it – _needed it_. He replayed the sensation of bucking into Eren's mouth, of Eren letting him and opening his mouth up wider. It was the image of Eren gulping down his seed that finally finished Levi as his cock pulsed and his come spilled into his hand.

 

Levi shuddered and finally fell back against the bed when he was spent. He rolled over onto his side and curled up, his hand clenched into a fist to keep his mess from getting on the blankets. Disgust and hatred welled up inside him like a sickness. He could've forgiven the dream, maybe; people had no control over their subconscious, after all. But he couldn't rationalize away using that dream to get off, or explain why his thoughts of Erwin had suddenly failed him.

 

Levi wanted to go to Erwin but didn't. He didn't deserve the man's comfort. Erwin had raised him and cared for him, and had loved him even when Levi was so consistently unlovable. He had put up with all of Levi's shit and held him close through it all, and Levi repaid him by having wet dreams about a seventeen year old brat. Levi's heart ached. He had to get over this. He didn't want to hurt Erwin or lose him, however selfish that was.

 

Levi looked up at the ceiling and cursed.

 

#

 

"Now is probably the best time," Levi mused, standing a short distance away from where Erwin was seated on the couch.

 

"Agreed." Levi could feel Erwin's eyes on him. "There's no sense prolonging this. Based on what you overheard of Jean's conversation with Marco it seems likely that they'll act sometime next week when you and your group return to Borna." Levi met Erwin's gaze and then glanced away. Erwin sighed. "I'd rather avoid them doing anything rash."

 

"From what I witnessed I think they're just two kids in love. Though you should question them to come to your own conclusions," Levi said and stepped closer, tensing and then relaxing when Erwin's fingers brushed against his knee. He still desired Erwin's touch as much as always, but it always brought up nauseating guilt when conflicting with Levi's wet dreams of a young brunette with bright green eyes.

 

"You know I will," Erwin spoke softly, thumb working warm circles into Levi's skin through his pants. "I sent Mike to bring Jean here. It makes more sense to talk to him now so we can organize a plan."

 

"Organize a plan," Levi repeated with an amused smile. "As if you haven't already created a plan and multiple backups."

 

Instead of responding to the teasing, Erwin just tilted his head up and smiled. Levi leaned down and caught his lips in a light kiss, sighing into Erwin's mouth when he felt his body relax further. Fuck, this was what he wanted. He wanted it to be simple and to make sense, to be able to slot their lips together the way they both knew they liked best and melt into Erwin's embrace. And he could tell by the steady, tight grip on his hip that Erwin wanted this too, and took the same pleasure from their familiarity.

 

A light knock at the door interrupted them and Levi took a half-step away from Erwin as Mike entered the room slowly. "I hope I'm not interrupting," Mike said hesitantly.

 

Levi noticed a slight twitch in Erwin's jaw but knew Mike wouldn't see it. Erwin waved Mike into the room and Jean shuffled in behind him, looking nervous enough to shit bricks. "Sit, please," Erwin ordered pleasantly, motioning towards the two chairs across the table from the couch. Levi chose to stand and Erwin said nothing to demand otherwise. "Now Jean, Captain Levi has brought something to my attention that I wish to discuss with you."

 

"Uh..." Jean said unintelligently. He looked equal parts scared and confused, which wasn't surprising. It had been months since they were in Borna and Levi and Eren had witnessed Jean's reunion with Marco. If that was what Jean was thinking about, he was no doubt wondering why he hadn't heard about it for such a long time.

 

"During your last visit to Borna..." Erwin began and Jean visibly paled.

 

"I saw you with that Military Police boy," Levi cut in, wanting to keep Eren out of this if he could help it.

 

Erwin seemed to understand and continued on without mentioning Eren. "He overheard your discussion with him and I would like an explanation."

 

Jean's mouth was open slightly, fear in his eyes as he looked between Levi, Erwin and Mike. "I love him," Jean squawked. Levi cocked an eyebrow in surprise at his immediate declaration, while Erwin's face remained impassive. "I met him the first time we were in Borna. We were practicing our patrols, making sure we were familiar with the routes we were supposed to check. My Gear got tangled and I got lost in Military Police territory. I recognized his uniform when he was at the mouth of the alley I was hiding in and I thought for sure I was dead. But he saved me."

 

"How?" Erwin prompted simply.

 

Jean's eyes were trained on his hands, which were clenched tightly in his lap. "He helped me hide and get my Gear untangled, and then snuck me back into my territory."

 

"Awful nice of him," Levi said, not bothering to hide his slight suspicion.

 

Jean shrugged, his cheeks a little pink. "That's the sort of guy Marco is. He didn't see me as the enemy or even a member of another group in general. He just saw that I was as young as him, lost and scared, and helped me as another human being should."

 

"That's quite a change from trying to eat each other's faces off in an alley," Levi pointed out, managing to deepen Jean's blush.

 

"We got to talking. I didn't say anything about the Survey Corps, I swear!" Jean's eyes flashed quickly to his Commander. "Our uniforms gave us away so we didn't even have to admit our allegiance. It wasn't a long talk the first day but Marco mentioned a park on the edge of the city that he loved to sneak away to. We met there the next night and set up a system to visit every time I was in Borna. We got close."

 

Levi clenched his teeth, frustrated at knowing that Jean had taken such a stupid risk. However, he bit back his scolding and allowed Erwin to continue. "What did you speak about?"

 

"Whatever came to mind that didn't have anything to do with either of our groups," Jean admitted. "We talked about growing up, our favourite and least favourite things, you know, whatever. We were both careful for a long time about not saying anything dangerous, but eventually Marco started telling me more about what it was like being in the Military Police."

 

"He could have been trying to manipulate you into giving information in return," Levi reminded him.

 

"He wasn't," Jean said with certainty. "Marco didn't stop even when I wouldn't give information in return. He hates it there. That's why I want to get him out of there," Jean sounded like he was being strangled. "Marco isn't safe with them."

 

"What makes you say that?" Erwin asked.

 

Jean frowned, clearly troubled. "He showed me the bruises he got when they hit him. Marco began to realize how badly people are being treated in the outer territories and he spoke up to one of his superior officers. They hit him and warned him that if he ever spoke like that again he would be deemed a traitor and dealt with as such."

 

Levi met Erwin's gaze when the blond man looked up at him. Then they both looked back to Jean, who was fidgeting by now. "What do you propose?"

 

Jean's eyes widened as he stared at them. For a moment he was silent, speechless, and then resolve cleared his face. "I want him to join the Survey Corps. And if you won't have him then I'm leaving with him."

 

"You understand that doing so would be an incredible risk," Erwin said carefully, body still completely still. "Although you make be correct in the judgement of this boy's character, the Survey Corps is my family and my top priority."

 

"I understand," Jean sighed. "I can go to Borna and then leave. I promise I'll never speak a word of what I learned here about the group."

 

The room was filled with tense silence. Then Erwin sighed. "You are a part of this family as well, Jean. So we will trust you on this. You will be going with Captain Levi and your training group to Borna next week as normal. You will go to Marco the way you always do and you will bring him back here. Some precautionary measures will need to be used, and I will need to speak with him when he arrives, but if we agree that he can be trusted he can stay."

 

"And if you decide he can't be trusted?" Jean worried.

 

"Then we will give you both supplies and you can find a new life together." Erwin didn't sound entirely pleased by the thought of sending Jean away, and Levi knew Erwin was hoping that Marco was everything Jean thought he was. However, the secondary option – knowing that Jean and Marco wouldn't be punished – made Jean breathe an audible sigh of relief.

 

"Thank you."

 

Erwin gave a small, controlled smile. "Next time please inform me or your Captain sooner when you are dealing with a situation. We are here to help."

 

"I promise," Jean said, beaming with disbelieving gratitude.

 

"For now, go with Captain Levi. The two of you will discuss details further," Erwin said, dismissing them.

 

"Thank you, sir," Jean was still grinning as he stood from the chair, though he flinched when Levi gripped his shoulder and steered him forcefully out into the hall. "Captain, I'm so sorry—"

 

"Do you even realize the danger you were in?" Levi snapped when they were halfway down the hall.

 

Jean bit his lip. "I swear I would never do anything to put the Survey Corps at risk."

 

Levi smacked the back of Jean's head in punishment, thoroughly frustrated. "It's not just the group I'm thinking about. _You_ could have gotten tortured or killed. The Commander is right; we're all family. So stop acting like a total jackass."

 

"Y-yes," Jean nodded hurriedly, looking shocked. Levi raised an eyebrow. "Sir."

 

Levi grunted and began pushing Jean down the hall again towards the stairs. "Come on, we have some planning to do before we leave for Borna."

 

#

 

Although Jean was allowed to visit Marco briefly on their first night back in Borna, Levi ordered him not to visit again for the rest of the week. Levi wanted the training group's routine to remain as normal as possible to avoid suspicion from the Military Police. He knew it was unlikely that the Military Police would pair Marco's disappearance with the day the Survey Corps left town again, but any sort of precaution to inflict confusion and uncertainty on the enemy was worthwhile.

 

Also, allowing Jean to tell Marco the plan a week before it should go into effect would be the first test to see if Marco mentioned it to anyone else in the Military Police. Of course Levi had a secondary plan already set up to avoid his group getting hurt in case Marco truly was an informant, but he was hoping it would be unnecessary. Levi knew that it must be hard for Jean to hold himself back and cut his reunion with Marco short after telling him about the plan – though maybe Jean's knowledge that Levi was hovering and listening in on the rooftops helped quell some of the urgent desire in the boys – but Levi was proud of him for sticking to the plan.

 

He landed on the cobblestones three blocks away and fell in step with Jean who was weaving in and out of the shadows to avoid the attention of any Military Police who might be watching the sky. "Keep it in your pants. You'll see him soon."

 

"My pants are _fine_ ," Jean hissed. Both of them moved quickly through the quiet city, eager to be back safely in the Survey Corps building.

 

Levi smirked, though he knew the shadows hid it from Jean. "You did good," he felt the urge to say, not looking over when Jean gave him a confused look.

 

They continued to move forward, Levi unwilling to linger. "The week will feel long," Jean said after a moment, perhaps feeling obligated to say _something_ after Levi's out of place praise.

 

"It'll be worth it," Levi assured him, ducking in through the Survey Corps safe house door first and letting Jean slip in behind him. The guard in the front foyer studied them and saluted but the rest of the room was empty and quiet. Levi thought he could hear laughter through the floorboards below their feet. "Sounds like the others are still up. They'll keep you distracted."

 

Jean nodded, took a step towards the stairs and then hesitated. "Thank you for this," Jean muttered.

 

"Don't thank me yet."

 

Jean ignored the warning. "It's worth a 'thank you' no matter how it turns out," Jean insisted one last time and then headed down to the basement to join the rest of his training group. The others had all been informed of the mission for this trip, Levi determined to keep everyone in the loop to practice working together as a team, and Levi had no doubt that Jean would get grilled about his visit with his boyfriend as soon as the others realized they were back.

 

Not interested in heading down into the fray, Levi instead took the stairs up to the second floor with the bedrooms. All of the doors he passed were closed, Levi assuming that all of his training group were in the basement and at least some of the normal Survey Corps guard posted having gone to sleep for the night. Levi was light on his feet as he walked down the hallway and slipped into his own room, intent on getting some sleep himself.

 

That plan was derailed when he discovered Eren asleep in his bed. Fucking entitled brat. Levi huffed but spent a few minutes pulling off his cloak and Gear until he was dressed only in his pants and shirt. Soon he was ready to sleep but his bed was stolen, and Levi was uncertain about how he should proceed. Levi was tempted to try scaring Eren out of these desires and fantasies. Perhaps if Levi straddled him it would feel too real for the kid and Eren would back off. However, Levi knew that there was a serious risk of Eren calling his bluff, and Levi wasn't sure he had the will to refuse Eren if he reciprocated.

 

With a sigh Levi sat on the edge of the bed and rubbed his eyes, exhausted from dealing with this. Levi tensed when he felt a warm hand tug Levi's shirt from his waistband and then brush along the curve of his back. "I should have known you weren't actually asleep."

 

"I was asleep." Eren's voice was low and rough. Levi felt a second hand snake under his shirt, both circling around his waist to pull him down. Eren had grown surprisingly strong. "We should go back to sleep," he mumbled.

 

Levi gritted his teeth in aggravation and pried Eren's hands away from his bare skin. Before Eren could react, Levi crawled on top of him and pinned Eren in place. "Who the hell do you think you are?"

 

"I'm your..." Eren started and then trailed off, looking troubled.

 

They had never used familial terms before – father/son, brothers – and they certainly weren't going to start now with all the tension between them. And everything that came into Levi's mind as a substitute was either inappropriate – _lover_ – or just sounded awkward – caregiver and ward.

 

"I don't know," Eren finished weakly, sounding sad at saying so.

 

"Go back to your own bed, Eren," Levi ordered tiredly.

 

Eren looked like he was considering starting an argument. Eventually he settled with, "Kind of difficult with you pinning me down."

 

Levi gave Eren a half-hearted glare and rolled off. He lay down on the far side of the bed, waiting for the mattress to dip and rise to indicate that Eren had left. Instead Levi felt arms winding around his waist a second time as Eren pressed his chest against Levi's back. Levi thought again about asking how Greg fit into this situation but he knew he wasn't prepared for the potential answer. He was just about to allow Eren the proximity when he felt a bold hand trail down his abdomen and pass his waistband.

  
"Fuck _off_!" Levi snapped and grabbed Eren's wrist with enough strength that he knew it had to hurt; he _wanted_ it to hurt. Levi's anger made him dizzy until Eren gave a pained whine, which was when Levi let go and flipped over, kicking Eren squarely in the stomach and sending him toppling out of bed. Eren landed with a groan and Levi looked over the edge of the bed, glowering down at him. "I would've let you stay," he informed Eren sharply, wanting the words to cut deep in retaliation for Eren making this so difficult. "But you got greedy."

 

Eren looked up at him with teary eyes, though Levi couldn't tell if that was due to the pain of falling on the wood floor or because Eren wasn't getting his way. At that moment he didn't care. "I just wanted to sleep with you."

 

"Sleeping doesn't require you shoving a hand down my pants," Levi reminded him. He was pointedly ignoring how fast his heart was beating. "If you want to sleep with me so desperately then you can sleep on the floor. Learn some fucking boundaries."

 

He didn't wait for a response. Levi rolled back over onto his side and pulled the blankets tight around him even though he knew sleep was a long way off now. Again he waited for the signs of Eren giving up and leaving to return to his own bedroom, and Levi didn't know whether to be annoyed or impressed when Eren stuck it out and stayed on the floor. Levi willed himself to sleep, to drift away so he didn't have to be aware of Eren stubbornly remaining on his floor despite the noticeable chill in the room, but it never came.

 

After what must've been nearly half an hour Levi gave in and returned to the side of the bed closer to Eren, looking down. Eren was curled up into a tight ball on the floorboards and shivering visibly, his eyes dull but still open. Eren looked up when he noticed Levi watching him but then closed his eyes. "Just get in the damn bed," Levi grumbled.

 

To his surprise and irritation, Eren didn't react. Losing his patience, Levi got out of bed and pulled Eren into his arms. Eren squawked, no doubt not expecting Levi to still be able to pick him up, and then blinked up at Levi in confusion when Levi set him on the mattress. Levi felt just as confused. He wanted to explain that even though he didn't know what he was feeling, and wanted to quell his desires, that would never change the fact that he cared deeply for Eren. Levi's desire to comfort and protect Eren would never leave, even though Eren was almost an adult now and their affection was causing problems.

 

"You're frozen, you stubborn brat," was all Levi said to indicate his concern as he wrapped the sheets tightly around Eren's body. As soon as the warmth began to seep back into Eren's body his eyes drooped. Levi slid under the sheets as well and moulded himself against Eren's back, ignoring his own shiver as they slowly shared heat. It still took a while for Eren to stop shivering but as soon as they were both warm, sleep came easily.

 

#

 

Levi perched in the shadows under the eve of one of the buildings overlooking the park. Jean was pacing impatiently by a clump of trees, aggravating Levi when Jean accidentally slipped in and out of view. Despite the fact that Erwin had offered the help of some higher ranked officers to back them up, Levi trusted his own training group to get the job done right.

 

Half of the group was back at and around the safe house, prepared for any surprise attack and keeping the horses ready for their planned escape. Ymir, Christa and Connie were all back there while Levi had brought Mikasa, Armin, Sasha and Eren to provide further backup in case Marco betrayed them. Jean had looked upset at all the guards but said nothing, knowing that for now the importance was safety and Marco could gain their trust later.

 

It was another fifteen minutes before Marco was supposed to arrive but Levi wanted to be there first. So far he hadn't seen any signs of Military Police presence but he wasn't going to let his guard down until they were back at HQ with no one following them. He could tell by the subtle shifting of movement around the park that his group was nervous as well but holding their positions.

 

Five minutes before the scheduled meet up time Levi noticed someone exiting an alley and heading towards the middle of the park. Levi had already told his backup that they were to hold back unless there was an actual attack. However, Levi peeled away from the shadows and landed lightly on the ground, matching the approaching person pace for pace.

 

Levi was just on the edge of the small park when Jean seemed to recognize the person. Jean leaped forward and ran, sweeping the boy up in his arms. It was still too dark for Levi to study the other, but with Jean's reaction Levi assumed it was Marco.

 

Before they had time to even consider celebrating, Levi noticed a few new figures lining the rooftops surrounding the park. "Traitor!" one yelled – a new chorus that was quickly picked up and repeated by the others. " _Traitor_!"

 

"We're leaving," Levi ordered the two boys, putting a hand on each of their shoulders and shoving them in the right direction. "Jean, you know what to do."

 

Jean nodded and took Marco's hand, both of them dashing for the alley. Levi headed towards the buildings as well, vulnerable on the ground and away from anything to latch his Gear to. His backup was there though. Sash and Armin headed off the group of Military Police aimed for Jean and Marco while Eren and Mikasa broke off to confront two other individual threats.

 

Lights were beginning to flicker on in the nearby houses at the surrounding racket but Levi paid it little attention. His heart was in his throat after seeing Eren drop down into an alley to pursue an enemy, a second threat behind him that Eren hadn't noticed. Levi raced forward and released the hooks of his Gear, sailing through the alley. He collided with the second Military Police member a few feet above Eren's head where he was fighting his initial target on the ground.

 

The second Military Police member was much burlier than Levi and used his weight to tip Levi into the brick wall, both of them tumbling to the ground. Levi felt his left ankle ache upon impact but it had been his enemy's mistake because Levi recovered first. The Military Police member was only halfway to his feet when Levi pressed his blade to warm skin and sliced with certainty.

 

He spun on his heel immediately and ran back down the alley, ignoring the stab of pain that traveled up his leg at each step. Eren was fighting well and got his target stumbling back against the wall. But when Eren needed to deal the deadly strike, he hesitated.

 

Levi cut another throat and watched the man's body crumple to the ground. He turned to Eren, ready to scold him when he ducked, Eren swinging forward with his sword. Levi heard a wet, gurgling noise behind him and when he looked back he could see a third assailant at his feet, slashed neck spilling blood into the cracks in the ground.

 

He returned his gaze to Eren, who looked pale and shaken but stood his ground. ' _I could do it if I had to_ ,' Eren had promised him beyond the wall. And he had. Eren's threshold was Levi's safety.

 

In a rush Levi wanted to kiss him. He wanted to pin Eren to the wall, feel him, taste him. But it wasn't the right time. Adrenaline was clouding his judgement and they should be using that rush through their veins to escape. Levi rested a hand on Eren's shoulder, squeezed tightly and then pushed Eren towards the mouth of the alley. "We need to go."

 

They took off together and flew over the rooftops, not encountering any more Military Police on their way. By the time they made it back to their safe house, everyone was already on their horses. Other permanent patrolmen of the safe house saluted as Levi passed. All of them would be on high alert for the next while in case of an attack.

 

"Is everyone alright?" he asked quickly, looking for a nod from each member of his group. Once he was certain that they were all okay, he scowled. "You should have gone ahead," he chided his group lightly as they all looked to him while he and Eren mounted their horses. "What if we never came back?"

 

No one looked happy at the thought, Mikasa and Armin especially as they moved their horses closer to Eren and asked under their breaths if he was okay. Eren still looked shaky but he smiled weakly and nodded. "Yeah, I'm okay."

 

Levi hadn't meant to listen in but hearing the words reassured him as well. Eren wouldn't be alright once his actions truly hit him, but it would be better if Eren could hold on until they got back to the castle. It would be easier for Eren to work through his horror while in a comfortable, familiar environment. "We're moving out," Levi finally ordered, noting that Jean already had Marco blindfolded. Jean had been told to do so to ensure that Marco didn't see the route to the castle. To keep him safe, Jean had Marco seated in front of him on the saddle, one hand gripping the reins and his other arm wound tightly around Marco's waist.

 

They all rode out together to the south, leaving Borna behind. They had all discussed the plans in advance and were taking their normal route back to HQ, with a few added twists and turns for safe measure. Everyone rode in silence for the most part. Eren remained near the back and Levi rode alongside him, keeping a sharp eye on Eren's face and body.

 

The first thirty minutes passed easily. Eren sent Levi a few tight smiles when he realized he was being monitored, no doubt trying to reassure Levi that he was fine. But when they were edging towards an hour Levi could see Eren's smile morphing into a grimace, his skin pallor in the moonlight.

 

"Everyone stop," Levi called the order, stopping the group in a small clearing in the middle of the forest. There were trees on every side with no distinguishable features for Marco to use to determine their exact location. There were a few confused murmurs as everyone dismounted. Levi took a moment to shake out the pain in his ankle, assuming based on the sensation that he had sprained it. Eren moved to stand stiffly at Levi's side but Levi just put a hand on his shoulder and nudged. "Go."

 

Eren bolted for the tree line, barely making it to the trees before he retched violently on the grass. "What the hell is wrong with you?" Jean yelled, mocking in his lack of understanding.

 

" _Quiet_ ," Levi hissed, pinning Jean with a glare. "I doubt you would look any better after taking your first life."

 

"Eren?" Armin called out, shocked and worried.

 

Mikasa was halfway to the trees when Eren groaned. "Stay away from me."

 

"Comfort is rarely the first desire after taking a life," Levi informed the others, knowing that his group had not yet experienced this. Caused injuries, sure. But this was something else entirely. "Jean, you might as well give your boyfriend a breather. We'll be stopped for a bit."

 

Jean showed an amusing blend of embarrassment and pure happiness. He rushed over to his horse where Marco remained, sitting quietly without putting up a fuss. The blindfold came off and Marco dismounted slowly, smiling nervously at the group. "Hi, I'm Marco."

 

"Nice to meet you," everyone offered, a few offering to shake hands while others merely nodded in welcome.

 

"It's a good thing getting you out of the city was so easy," Connie said with obvious relief in his voice.

 

"Not necessarily," Armin added thoughtfully. He sent Marco an apologetic look before continuing. "I could imagine the Military Police sacrificing a few lives to sell the idea that Marco is a traitor."

 

"Fuck you!" Jean yelled, his hands balling into fists.

 

"It's fine, Jean."

 

"No, it's not!" Jean gritted his teeth. "I thought everyone made an agreement to give you a chance."

 

"They're allowed to be cautious," Marco reasoned. It was immediately obvious that Marco was the rational half of the pair. "I'm willing to earn trust, not demand it."

 

Levi turned his attention back to Armin. "You think it was a setup?" It would have been a well-planned scheme. The Military Police could have sent out a few of their men to yell 'traitor' and pretend to fight Marco's escape in order to make Levi and the Survey Corps believe that Marco really had defected. However, there was nothing to prove that Marco wasn't just a plant to gain trust and information.

 

"I don't know," Armin admitted. "It's possible."

 

Jean huffed and turned away, Marco's steadying hand still on his arm. "Marco will get a chance to prove himself later," Levi said, his eyes sliding to the tree line where Eren was crouched over. "Take a few minutes to yourselves."

 

Levi approached Eren slowly, waving Mikasa and Armin off when they began to follow him. " _Levi_ ," Eren moaned weakly. It sounded like he was warning Levi away but he reached a shaking hand out, silently begging Levi to approach.

 

"Take it easy," Levi cautioned when Eren tried to stand on his own and wobbled. Levi gently hooked a hand under Eren's arm and lifted him, moving him a few trees away from the puddle of puke.

 

As soon as he stopped moving Eren's body became a dead weight and Levi lowered him to the grass. "Shouldn't I be crying?" Eren asked hollowly.

 

"Everyone reacts in their own way," Levi told him. "You're in shock right now." Eren remained crouched, staring unblinkingly at the grass. "Are you still at the stage where you don't want comfort?" Levi remembered his first kill. He hadn't let Erwin comfort or reassure him for nearly a week. He had hated himself.

 

"I don't know," Eren said, leaning over until he fell against Levi. Levi bore the weight and supported Eren, not commenting on the boy's trembling. "It was so...easy. I can't believe he's dead just like that, because of me."

 

"Because of you I'm still alive," Levi said matter-of-factly.

 

Eren gave one anguished sob and reached forward, clutching Levi's wrist. Levi pulled him closer and Eren accepted his embrace, held together by Levi's arms. Levi thought this was a reaction to Eren killing someone but then he heard Eren's next words, indicating his real focus. "You can't die."

 

"I'm right here," Levi promised.

 

"Am I horrible for being more relieved that you're alive than being guilty for killing someone?" Eren wondered.

 

"We can't care about the whole world," Levi reasoned, slipping his fingers through Eren's hair as he moved them both into a seated position to get some weight off his ankle. "There will always be some individuals that we prize over all others. That's normal. You'll always remember the first kill. It's a weight you'll bear now."

 

Eren shrugged as though the idea didn't bother him too greatly. "He nearly took you away from me. It was worth it." They were both silent for a moment, Levi surprised by the venom in Eren's voice. Then Eren turned curious, muttering against Levi's cloak. "How do you feel when you kill someone?"

 

"I will kill when necessary to protect the people I care about and the goals I fight for," Levi began, uncertain about how to continue. How could he properly express the sense of satisfaction he felt when cutting down a person who threatened him and what he cared about? But maybe...that was what Eren needed to hear. "It's satisfying knowing I have that control when I need it."  

 

Eren leaned against him tiredly. His adrenaline was fading. "I want to go home."

 

"Do you think you can make it?"

 

"I should be fine," Eren said, though he made no move to retreat from Levi's embrace. "What will happen after though?"

 

"You'll speak with Erwin when we're back," Levi said.

 

"I don't want to talk to Erwin."

 

"He's better at talking about this than me," Levi insisted, unwilling to buckle on this decision. Eren's quick recovery had startled him. Levi had been expecting a lot more than some adrenaline-induced puke. He feared that Eren was just burying his real emotions down deep and that they would poison Eren from the inside. Erwin was the one to get Levi through his kills, and that was reason enough for Levi to believe he could help Eren as well. "You're speaking to the Commander and that's final." Eren didn't argue any further. Levi pulled them both to their feet and led Eren back to the horses, the rest of the group looking up at them hesitantly. "Let's go," Levi spoke to the group.

 

Everyone gave murmured agreements and mounted their horses. They paused for another moment as Jean blindfolded Marco a second time and then they took off, everyone eager to get back to the castle and a warm bed. It had been a long day. Levi allowed a small sigh of relief to pass his lips when the castle came into view and he edged his horse into a slightly faster pace in his desire to rest. There were a few Survey Corps members awaiting their arrival, leading the horses away to the stables and eyeing Marco.

 

The blindfold would remain on until Marco had been led to the dungeon in the basement where he would be spending the night. Not the most welcoming but also not horrible; the rooms down there were still warm and the bed was bearable. It would have to do until morning since they certainly weren't going to begin an interrogation in the middle of the night. Not to mention that Levi also had more pressing issues on his mind.

 

Levi allowed Jean and Marco a moment to hug tightly and share a quick peck of lips and then Levi ordered his group to the barracks to sleep. Mike, who had stayed awake to watch for their return, joined Levi in escorting Marco down to the basement and introducing the freckled boy to his temporary home until they could determine his allegiance. Marco looked nervous and a little sad but didn't put up a fight, and Levi offered a promise that the cell was only temporary before saying his goodnight. He left Mike in charge of setting up a guard duty.

 

Levi had left Eren at the top of the basement stairs and found him there, leaning against the wall with closed eyes. "Come on," Levi said softly, leading Eren up the stairs to Erwin's room. Eren seemed lost in thought, oblivious to the world around him until he noticed Levi limp slightly when they reached the stairs landing. "I'm fine," Levi assured him and kept them moving forward, knowing they only had so much energy left in their bodies before they would both collapse from exhaustion.

 

He could still see light sneaking out from under Erwin's door and he knocked quietly. The door opened almost immediately and Erwin looked between them quickly, relief washing over his face first and promptly followed by confusion. "Rivaille?"

 

"Eren killed someone in battle tonight." Eren's eyes were clenched closed. "You should speak to him. You're better at this shit than I am." Erwin studied Eren and then nodded, opening the door wider in offering. Levi nudged Eren forward, ignoring his scowl. "I'll be right back. I need to get my ankle wrapped."

 

Both of them sent him a concerned look which he ignored, heading back down the hallway. The healer who looked him over confirmed that it was only a sprain and that he hadn't broken anything. She wrapped his ankle with a thick bandage to give him some extra support and ordered him to stay off it for a few days to let it rest. Levi gave his customary bob of the head – an indication the healers recognized now as his politest way of ignoring their medical advice – and headed back up to Erwin's room.

 

He was surprised to find both of them standing outside Erwin's door, waiting for him. Levi looked between them, not bothering to hide his obvious concern. Eren looked raw. "I spoke to him. He'll be fine," Erwin told Levi, sounding a little surprised as well. "Right now I think it'll be best if you two stay close. Eren just needs some reassurance that you're safe. He cares a lot more about that than the dead attacker. We'll reconvene about Marco in the afternoon."

 

"Alright," Levi said, giving Erwin a grateful smile as the blonde man stepped back into his room and shut the door quietly. In this moment Levi was going to do whatever it was Eren needed in order to be okay. He held Eren's hand with his own. "Let's go. You're not sleeping alone tonight."

 

Eren sniffled and laced their fingers together solidly, trailing behind him as Levi headed back to his own room. Eren remained contained even after Levi got the door closed and locked, and pushed Eren towards the bathroom to get ready for bed. It was only when they were both under the blankets in bed that Eren finally released everything built up inside him and sobbed openly against Levi's chest, breathing wrenched and hoarse as his body shook.

 

Levi held Eren in his arms and let him cry, whispering the only promise he knew. "I'm here. We're safe."


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I'm very curious to hear people's thoughts at the end of this chapter ^.^

Levi woke up and immediately noticed the shallow wisps of a warm breath against his neck. He lifted his head to look at Eren's face, feeling his stomach twist when he saw that Eren's eyes were awake and unseeing. "How long have you been awake?" Levi questioned. Eren didn't respond, didn't even twitch. Levi shook him. "Eren, talk to me."

 

Eren blinked and looked up at him blearily. "Huh?"

 

Levi didn't bother asking if Eren was okay. The answer was obvious. "How long have you been awake?"

 

"I dunno," Eren slurred, eyes unfocused. "The sun wasn't up."

 

Levi slid his fingers through Eren's hair and Eren didn't withdraw from the comfort, which was a reassuring sign. "Tell me what you're thinking."

 

"I could've lost you."

 

Eren's hollow voice scared Levi. "Status update."

 

It was something Levi had taught Eren over the years, teaching him to work past any situation to do a self-assessment. "I'm exhausted but I can't sleep," Eren mumbled. "I feel a little sick."

 

"Hungry? Thirsty?" Eren shook his head. "What do you want to do?" Eren shrugged. Levi swallowed his impatient sigh. "Think about it. What would make you feel better?"

 

Eren's fingers clutched at the blankets, his teeth bared as he glared at something far away. "I want to go back. I want to do it differently."

 

"What other choice would you have made?"

 

"I would've made him suffer for trying to hurt you!" Eren gave an angry, dry sob.

 

"Eren," Levi's voice was stern. "You killed him to protect me. Torturing him would have no purpose."

 

"Yeah? Well you're supposed to be the best, you fucker!" Eren levelled his glare at Levi. "If you have such a problem with how I'm handling it, you shouldn't have let him sneak up on you! I was _protecting_ you, you ungrateful shit!"

 

Eren's fist surprised Levi since it was so quick compared to Eren's otherwise lethargic behaviour. Levi fell backwards out of bed, his shoulder jarring against the ground as Eren pursued him, knocking the air out of his lungs. Levi lifted his arms to block the next string of punches and then kicked Eren off, stumbling to his feet and forcing himself to bear his own weight on his sprained ankle. Eren stood as well and lifted his fists. Levi was just preparing to defend again, trying to figure out how far he could let Eren go to work out his anger before Levi would be in real danger. Eren wasn't a little kid anymore; Levi knew he could cause serious damage.

 

Levi wavered with confusion when, a moment later, Eren's eyes flickered down and he dropped his hands at his sides. It was only then that he realized he had been favouring his left ankle, barely resting any weight on it even as he prepared to match Eren blow for blow. Eren must've noticed through the haze of his anger. The next sob was wet and broken as Eren fell to his knees, his cry primal and anguished. Levi approached without fear and knelt in front of Eren, brushing his bangs away from his eyes. " _I'm sorry._ "

 

"For what?"

 

"For _everything_ ," Eren whined. "You hate me, don't you? You're disgusted that I want to go back and make that bastard pay all over again."

 

"I could never hate you," Levi said. "You saved me, and I'll be forever grateful. But you need to let it go. He's dead."

 

"I hurt you," Eren added brokenly, tears staining the floor.

 

"We will both heal," Levi said with certainty. "Now come on."

 

Eren looked up and let Levi pull him into his arms. They weren't going far. Levi sat them down on the ledge by his window, settling so that he could rest his back against the wall and Eren was curled up in his lap. Eren wound his arms around Levi and clutched at the back of his shirt, tucking his face against Levi's neck. Levi held him closer, breathing evenly as he watched people milling about in the courtyard below. The sun was shining, bright and warm, and Levi took a few minutes to appreciate this moment. He was alive. Eren was struggling to get his emotions under control but he was alive too, and they would both be okay with time.

 

They sat there for a long time, Levi a silent presence and a comforting heartbeat as Eren shuddered through each breath. Levi felt his hunger rise and wane, ignoring it in favour of staying right where Eren needed him. At one point Levi was certain that Eren had begun to doze, still curled up in a ball around him. Levi didn't even consider moving, resting his head back against the wall and letting his own eyes rest as he felt Eren's steady heartbeat pressed against his body.

 

Sometime later Eren stirred, yawning loudly and stretching. Levi felt his heart leap with hope when Eren turned his face towards the window, still resting against Levi but no longer hiding from the world continuing on outside. "I'm acting like such a mess," Eren said with frustration.

 

"You'll get through it."

 

"You'll be here with me," Eren was certain.

 

"Of course," Levi agreed and pressed a kiss to Eren's temple.

 

Nothing more came of the conversation; they sat together in silence and let the sun warm their skin. Levi could see his training group joining the other trainees in the courtyard for their morning exercises. He wondered what they would think if they saw him acting like this, cuddling close with Eren and kissing his temple. What would Erwin think? During the previous night Erwin had handed Eren over to him and insisted that Levi was who he needed. Did he wonder about Levi and Eren? Levi knew he was treading a dangerous line but holding Eren like this... Levi didn't even know what he wanted to do about it anymore.

 

Eren's fingers tightened their hold as Eren whispered, his words strong, "I made the right choice."

 

"Hm?"

 

Eren looked up. His eyes were steady. "It was a choice between you and him. Killing him was the right choice. He was trying to kill _you_ ; he deserved what he got."

 

"Eren..." Levi sighed, resigned when he saw the deadly certainty on Eren's face. Eren had just rationalized killing someone. Although Levi was glad to be alive and to know that Eren would not let this drag him down, it was impossible to be happy. This was the life – the exact experiences – that he had wanted to shield Eren from. He had failed.

 

Eren's stomach growled and Levi's answered, breaking the charged moment. Eren chuckled quietly, already returning to his old self. "Breakfast?"

 

"It might be a bit late for that, but I'm sure we can find something to eat in the kitchens," Levi said. At this point there was nothing he could do but continue forward and protect Eren however he could.

 

He still didn't move, allowing Eren to make the first move. Eren stood up and stretched out his stiff limbs. Levi gingerly stood behind him and stretched as well, careful of his ankle. Eren looked down and then back up. "I could get food and bring it back here," he offered, concerned.

 

Levi waved him off and walked as normally as he could to his closet; there was no way he was going downstairs in his pyjamas. "Walking on it in moderation helps it heal," he explained. Without thought Levi pulled his shirt over his head and tossed it into his hamper. He was halfway to grabbing a new shirt when he paused, having caught the little squeak behind him. Levi looked over his shoulder and saw how red Eren's face was. "Problem?"

 

"N-nothing," Eren's eyes snapped away. "I'll go back to the barracks to get a change of clothes."

 

"You can wear something of mine," Levi rolled his eyes, slipping into his shirt and buttoning it with practiced ease.

 

"Thanks, but we both know I won't fit." There was a teasing lilt to Eren's voice and although the amusement was at Levi's expense in regards to his height, Levi let it slide. He was just relieved to hear that Eren sounded even slightly relaxed, if not happy. "I'm glad you still have my old cloak in there though."

 

"Of course I do," Levi shrugged as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. He dropped his hands to the waistline of his pants and paused, one word buzzing in his mind – _inappropriate_. Levi stopped undressing and sent Eren another look. "You'll be fine on your own?"

 

"Yeah," Eren assured him. "It's hard to explain but when I was looking out the window I just felt my mind shift a bit. I still feel like shit but I'm also more motivated to... to _not_ feel like shit anymore. Does that make sense?"

 

"Sort of." Levi's fingers were still at his waistline, digging in and pulling the fabric down slightly to reveal a sliver of skin. What the fuck was he doing? "If you're fine then stop lagging. Meet me in the dining room."

 

He turned back to the closet but he knew Eren was staring at his bared skin, even though it was no wider than the width of a finger. Levi was _teasing_ Eren and it was _working_. That realization shouldn't be making Levi feel like a fire was being lit beneath him. _Inappropriate, inappropriate, inappropriate_. "Y-yes, sir," Eren stuttered out and raced for the door, closing it swiftly behind him. Levi rubbed his eyes and cursed himself and continued to get dressed alone.

 

#

 

Once they both had some food in their stomachs and Levi was certain that Eren had found some mental stability, Levi sent Eren out to join the afternoon training session. Eren didn't fight the decision, likely happy to have some sort of distraction in the form of physical activity and a group of people to talk to. After Eren headed off, Levi made his way upstairs to Erwin's room. He walked in on Erwin, Mike and Hanji deep in discussion.

 

They all looked up at once and Erwin smiled the widest, sliding over on the couch slightly away from where Mike was seated on the opposite side of the couch to make room for Levi. For half a second Levi looked between Mike and Erwin; no one except Levi usually sat on the couch beside Erwin when anyone came into the Commander's room for a discussion. Erwin looked nonchalant but Levi thought he could detect a hint of disappointment in Mike's expression at Levi's entrance. Levi didn't like it, or the way his annoyance coiled in his stomach alongside his guilt at realizing that he wasn't allowed to be angry after how he had behaved with Eren recently.

 

Still, Levi accepted the offer and sat on the couch between Mike and Erwin, letting the cushions sag and drag his body a little closer to Erwin's warmth. "What did I miss?"

 

"Jean has been having a fit demanding he get to see Marco," Hanji informed Levi. "We knew you'd be busy during the morning helping Eren adjust after what happened in Borna." Erwin must have updated them on Eren's actions. "So we told him to chill out but he's not really listening."

 

"We were just discussing what questions we'd like to ask Marco, and what security measures we will keep in place," Erwin added. Mike listened silently on Levi's other side. "My instinct tells me that he isn't a spy but I don't like the thought of leaving him unattended. It's not even so much the thought of leaked information but the fear of him hurting someone if left alone." Erwin rubbed his jaw as he thought. "I must admit that I'm intrigued at the possibility of learning more about the inner workings of the Military Police from him if he's willing to talk. Jean already had some insightful details for us based on what Marco told him."

 

"Everyone in training should be capable of taking care of themselves," Levi reasoned. "And it's probably smartest to let Marco join the group as quickly as possible."

 

"Agreed," Erwin hummed. "If he _is_ a spy, making him feel relaxed and accepted will lead him to act sooner. If we keep him in the cell for too long he'll just get defensive and untrusting."

 

"And it's not like any serious information is spread through the training group anyway. Not about battle plans or anything like that," Hanji said. "Plus, Jean is the only biased one in the group. Those kids are all family to each other; they'll keep each other safe and grill Marco until they're absolutely certain he doesn't pose a threat."

 

"And if he _is_ a spy?" Mike wondered.

 

"We'll feed some information through the training group," Erwin said. Levi could practically hear the cogs turning in Erwin's head as his plan took shape. "Then _our_ contacts in the Military Police can confirm if any of that makes its way back into the wrong hands. I've already asked them if they know anything about Marco but they weren't stationed in the building and have no useful insight for us on the matter."

 

"Well then we should probably get the damn information ourselves," Levi huffed, standing back up and ignoring the painful twitch up his ankle as he readjusted to holding his own weight again. "No sense waiting any longer."

 

Erwin nodded and stood as well, Mike and Hanji following suit. "Levi, I'd like you in the room with me when we speak to Marco. Hanji and Mike, I want you posted right outside the doors. If things go smoothly we can let Marco join the afternoon training. Levi, you will be at every training session for the next few days since we can assume Marco won't stray far from Jean once they are reunited. Keep an eye on him."

 

"Obviously," Levi rolled his eyes. As if he'd leave any member of his training group in danger.

 

"Just making sure," Erwin said with amusement.

 

The four of them headed down to the basement. The guards outside Marco's door straightened up and saluted when they saw the Commander, Erwin waving them off a moment later. Mike and Hanji remained outside while Levi followed Erwin into the room, the door clicking closed behind them. Marco was seated on his bed, his mouth drawn down into a frown and his eyes sad. He looked over at their entrance and jumped to his feet, but Erwin waved him down as easily as he had his own men.

 

"We apologize for keeping you waiting so long," Erwin said cordially. He took the one chair in the corner of the room and sat in front of Marco, Levi choosing to remain standing at Erwin's elbow. "We had some other matters to attend to. Have you received food already?"

 

"Y-yes," Marco nodded, eyes wide.

 

"Have you recently seen a ghost?" Erwin chuckled at the boy's shocked expression.

 

Marco's cheeks flushed. "No, I just... I wasn't expecting to ever meet the Commander of the Survey Corps." Marco's voice was filled with awe, and slight reservation. "I mean, no young members of the Military Police are allowed anywhere _near_ the higher ranked officers. I've only seen Commander Nile or Commander Pixis once, and I was at the back of a crowd. They don't like people getting close."

 

"Not a lot of trust," Erwin said. "Understandable considering the state our cities are in these days."

 

Marco slid his gaze from Erwin to Levi and back. "The Commander _and_ the Captain. I might start thinking I'm special or something," he laughed softly.

 

"We were intrigued to meet you," Erwin told him. "Jean has already told us a little bit about how you met and your intentions but we were hoping you could elaborate for us. You must know that while we are pleased to have new members, your background could be a danger."

 

"Yes, I understand," Marco said, sobering. "I'll answer any questions you have that I am able to. I have no allegiance to the Military Police now that I've seen the way they treat those they think are lesser. My only desire is to be with Jean and to live as much of a peaceful, normal life as possible."

 

"Peace isn't fucking likely," Levi grumbled. "We're in the middle of a war in case you hadn't noticed."

 

Marco looked a little shocked at Levi's swearing but Erwin continued on easily. "Of course things are in turmoil at the moment, but we do hope for peace in the future. And any information you may have for us about the Military Police's inner workings would speed us towards that goal."

 

Marco grimaced slightly. "There are good people in the Military Police too," he insisted. "They're not all monsters. Many are like me. They had nowhere to go. They were dazzled by the glorious propaganda and joined because we thought we were doing something meaningful. We wanted to feel like we were helping."

 

"Exactly _who_ did you think you were helping?" Levi chimed in.

 

Marco's eyes were downcast and Erwin sent Levi a warning look. "Our intention is not to slaughter everyone bearing the Military Police emblem. We would like this war to come to an end with as little bloodshed as possible." Erwin remained silent for a moment, knowing exactly how to speak to add emphasis to specific points. Levi would always be slightly awed by Erwin's ability to sway people with his speaking. "Information is the key to a resolution without countless deaths."

 

This time when Marco looked up there was determination on his face. "Tell me what you need to know and I'll do my best."

 

They learned about the training programs in the Military Police, which sounded like it was much more rudimentary than the Survey Corps' own training. Levi silently wondered if this was because the heads of the Military Police didn't trust their own subordinates with the knowledge to sneak around and kill effectively but kept the assumption to himself. They also learned about how trained members were assigned to different outposts and their duties of patrolling around the cities and keeping an eye on the citizens to ensure no one got out of hand. Although Marco and other young members weren't trusted near the highest officers, Marco still had some insights on the hierarchy of command, the methods of communication, and a few cracks among the ranks that could be useful.

 

"Jean mentioned you got beat up," Levi mentioned at one point.

 

Marco rubbed the back of his neck. "Normally younger members aren't sent close to the wall. I always figured it was because they didn't want us being in danger or getting caught in a situation we weren't prepared to handle," Marco explained. "But when I saw the state of living in the outer territories I realized that they didn't want us realizing how horrible and unfair things really were. I was never supposed to go out there," Marco said. "But my superior officer was leading a group out there and he was short a person so he ordered me to join them."

 

"Where did you go?" Erwin prompted.

 

"Hemau." The town name sounded vaguely familiar, though Levi couldn't remember visiting it. "We were 'checking for Survey Corps presence'," Marco made air quotes with his fingers, showing his distain. "Really all they were doing was roughing up some street vendors and threatening the few business owners still managing to stay afloat out there. When we left, all we had to show for our work was carts full of 'volunteered' food and materials."

 

"I brought up my concerns and got locked up and interrogated for an entire day," Marco sighed and slid a hand up and down the length of his left arm. Levi remembered Jean saying that Marco had been beaten up; perhaps he was remembering old wounds. "They thought I was a Survey Corps spy integrated into the group to cause dissension. And I was warned if I spoke up again they'd cut out my tongue."

 

"And how does Jean fit into all this?"

 

Marco's smile was fond. "I had already known him for a little while by that point; we met one night when he got his Gear tangled up. That was before I got punished for acting outside of the Military Police's orders. Jean looked scared and reminded me so much of...well, me. I couldn't just get him killed. I didn't want him to know that I got beat up because I knew he'd worry," Marco confessed. "He's impulsive and I was scared he'd race in and get himself killed. Instead we got to talking and I started dreaming about running away to be with him. Especially after the trip to Hemau."

 

"Did Jean tell you much about the Survey Corps?" Erwin purposefully kept his voice light.

 

"A little," Marco shrugged. "But not much. Mainly he told me about how much he enjoyed training, and how he would play cards with his fellow trainees in the evenings. It was hard for me to believe at first because I grew up being taught that the Survey Corps were ruthless and focused only on tearing down the order the Military Police had established. But when Jean talked, I couldn't stop thinking about how much it sounded like being part of a _family_. A group that cared and protected each other." Marco met both of their gazes in turn. "I want to be a part of that."

 

"We would like that as well," Erwin smiled, warm and welcoming. "We'll make sure you catch up on your training and over time we'll teach you more about the Survey Corps and what we fight for. And please feel free to ask questions at any time."

 

Marco smiled shyly. "Can I see Jean soon?"

 

Erwin chuckled and stood. "No sense delaying it any further. I have some business but Captain Levi will take you out to the courtyard. Afternoon training should've started just recently. You will be joining the Captain's training group and I'm sure Jean can get you settled." Marco stood to match Erwin's posture. Levi, by comparison, would be happy to sit and let his ankle rest soon. "Welcome to the Survey Corps, Marco Bodt."

 

"Thank you, sir," Marco practically beamed.

 

"And make sure you learn our salute. I want to see it the next time we run into each other," Erwin teased on his way out the door.

 

"Absolutely!" It was clear that Marco was a naturally cheerful boy, undaunted by a challenge.

 

"C'mon, let's get moving," Levi tilted his head towards the door.

 

Marco matched him pace for pace, Levi not allowing his ankle to lag him down enough for it to be obvious. Mike had disappeared along with Erwin but Hanji had remained behind and grinned at Marco as they both exited the cell. "I'm Major Hanji Zoe! Nice to meet'cha!" zhe held out a hand and shook Marco's hand vigorously. "I can't wait to watch Jean stumble over himself like a lovesick puppy around you," zhe winked.

 

Marco chuckled and blushed, though his mood was skyrocketing. "I can't wait to see him. It's hard to believe I won't have to wait months between our visits any longer."

 

"You lucky boy," Hanji elbowed him playfully and then headed down the hall, leading both of them out towards the courtyard. Levi followed a half-pace behind them, studying Marco's movements critically. He wanted to know how the boy acted normally so that he could recognize any out-of-place behaviours once Marco was under less supervision. Levi left the chatting to Hanji and Marco as they stepped out into the warm sun, the collection of trainees turning curious eyes on them as soon as they arrived in the courtyard.

 

"Marco!" Jean peeled away from the group and raced towards them. He swept Marco into his arms with such eagerness that they nearly tipped over, both of them laughing as they stumbled and regained their balance. Before Marco had time to say anything Jean's lips had found his, stealing his breath away with a greedy kiss.

 

"Get a room!" Eren shouted.

 

"Careful, Jaeger!" Jean broke away from Marco's kiss to sneer at Eren. "Your jealousy is showing!"

 

Eren scowled and opened his mouth to yell back but Levi spoke over them all. "Enough. Get back to training. Jean, show Marco the ropes and teach him the salute by tonight. After dinner you can find him a bed that _isn't yours_ ," Levi stressed the last point when Jean's eyes sparked with mischief.

 

Marco laughed under his breath and tugged Jean towards the group, offering up a few more 'hello's to anyone near him as the larger training group met him for the first time. This was the first time anyone outside of Levi's training group would be meeting Marco. Levi had considered making a formal introduction but decided that Jean could introduce Marco as needed. Levi didn't want to make Marco a spectacle.

 

"You should be off that ankle."

 

"It's fine," Levi grumbled, though he sat on the stone steps leading into the castle anyway. Hanji sat beside him. "You don't have to watch."

 

"I want to," Hanji said, picking at the dirt under zher nails as zhe watched the training group pick up the exercises they had previously been working on. "They grow up so fast."

 

"You sound like an aging coot," Levi taunted. "Where are your knitting needles, you old hag?"

 

"Soon to be shoved right up your ass," Hanji shot back, their banter easy. They fell into silence and Hanji studied Levi openly. "How are you?"

 

"Worried," was all Levi was willing to confess.

 

"Eren will be fine," Hanji assured, always so observant.

 

Levi met zher eyes. "How are you so certain?"

 

Zhe shrugged. "He has you. How could he not be okay?"

 

Levi turned back to watch the group and thought about those words for the rest of the day.

 

#

 

"Checkmate."

 

Levi glanced from the window back to Erwin. "Aren't you supposed to sound happy when you win?"

 

"Victories are pointless when my opponent isn't even paying attention," Erwin shot back. His shoulders were drooped as he sat in his chair, not even moving to return the chess pieces back to their original places on the board for a third game.

 

"I'm sorry." Levi found it difficult to meet Erwin's gaze.

 

Erwin grimaced. "Maybe you could make it up to me." He sounded forlorn as though he expected Levi to refuse.

 

Desperate to take away the resignation in Erwin's eyes, Levi stood in a rush and fell to his knees between Erwin's legs. He made quick work of making room for himself and getting Erwin's pants open. When Levi looked up Erwin appeared troubled, but he didn't stop Levi and Levi hoped that was a good sign. He fished out Erwin's cock with one hand and sucked the warm flesh into his mouth, his other hand clutching Erwin's strong thigh for stability. It was easy for Levi to alternate between swirling his tongue and sucking to bring Erwin to full hardness, Erwin's heartbeat pulsing in Levi's mouth.

 

"You must've done something horrible," Erwin mused between shuddering breaths. Levi hated giving blowjobs; they were his way of apologizing.

 

"Should I stop?" There was real fear in Levi that Erwin _would_ stop him, but he tried to keep his voice teasing.

 

Erwin threaded his fingers into Levi's hair and tugged him forward lightly. "I didn't say that."

 

Levi chuckled and dropped his mouth back down, ignoring the ache of his jaw and the hint of his gag reflex for Erwin. Anything for Erwin. Levi had hurt Erwin badly and it made his own heart ache. How could he be so selfish and cruel? Levi's guilt and fear made him desperate to take Erwin's pain away, to find a way to fix what he was destroying.

 

Erwin slumped down in his armchair and Levi scanned his body hungrily. He loved seeing Erwin relax and unwind. He loved that he was the _only_ person who saw Erwin like this. Levi took Erwin deeper, his lips tightening into a smile around the cock in his mouth when Erwin moaned his name openly. Levi closed his eyes and suddenly he was imagining Eren in the chair, squirming as Levi gave him pleasure. Would he moan or whine? Would he be breathy or call Levi's name, beg for more? Levi shoved the thoughts aside and redoubled his efforts, hollowing around Erwin's throbbing length.

 

Levi could tell that Erwin was getting close by the bucking of his hips and the tension of the muscles in his thigh. Levi prepared himself for the hot, sticky mouthful, determined to swallow it all. Erwin's fingers, still snagged in his hair, pulled him back. Levi released Erwin's cock with a wet _pop_ and panted as he looked up in confusion.

 

"I will have you tonight," Erwin proclaimed simply and nudged Levi a little further back.

 

Levi sat back on his heels and stared as Erwin stood and quickly shed his clothes. Erwin's body was strong and sculptured, kept trim from his daily exercise despite the reports he had to deal with. How could Levi want a scrawny seventeen year old boy when he could have Erwin, his body powerful as he held Levi down and gave him pleasure, hit ever sensitive spot that would take years for someone else to learn and memorize.

 

Levi realized that Erwin was staring at him in return. Normally Levi would've been manhandled to the bed by now. Today there was hesitance in Erwin's expression and Levi knew he had been the one to put it there. Erwin no longer felt certain of his right to touch and hold Levi. Biting his lip, Levi stripped off his own clothes as he stood. They stood in front of each other, both bared in more ways than one. Their eyes roamed with appreciation across the other's body; attraction was not an issue.

 

Growing impatient, Levi took Erwin's hand and led him to the bed, dragging him on top just to feel Erwin's heat and weight press him into the mattress. Next he hooked his hands at the back of Erwin's head and neck, leaning up to meet the demanding kiss halfway. At the same time he spread his legs, Erwin settling between them.

 

Levi was aware of the fact that he was being clingy, and that Erwin undoubtedly noticed. Yet in this moment he just wanted Erwin and wasn't afraid to show it. Levi broke the kiss just long enough to gasp in more air before pulling Erwin back down, opening his mouth to hint that Erwin should continue forward. Erwin devoured Levi's mouth at the same time as he rocked his hips against Levi. The feel of Erwin's cock rutting against his ass had Levi moaning, his body overheated. How could he need more than this? Erwin knew exactly how to wind Levi up, playing his body like a fine-tuned instrument.

 

Levi was the one to eventually pull away long enough to grab the lube from the bedside drawer, smiling when Erwin gripped his hips and reeled him back in. Erwin took the lube from him and coated three fingers liberally. Their eyes met and they shared a sheepish laugh, both of them eager for this coupling.

 

"Two at once," Levi demanded, causing Erwin to pause as he moved to kneel between Levi's legs.

 

"It's been a while," Erwin reminded him, weathering his bottom lip.

 

"It's okay. I want it," Levi said, canting his hips upward.

 

Erwin hesitated a moment longer and then pressed two fingers against Levi's hole. Erwin nudged lightly and Levi nodded, giving one last assurance. Levi couldn't hold back his groan as those two fingers stretched him open, but Erwin's other hand was already stroking Levi's cock, distracting him from the pain. It took a minute until Levi fully relaxed around Erwin's fingers and began to rock down. Erwin began to stroke his fingers against Levi's inner walls and Levi was struck by how much it felt like an intimate caress.

 

Levi realized that Erwin was taking his sweet time, fucking Levi slowly on his fingers as he worked in two and then wiggled in a third. Levi considered telling Erwin to hurry up but held himself back, happy to feel Erwin's loving touch and watch the look of arousal on his face. That look was for _him_ , for Levi.

 

Suddenly, unwanted thoughts invaded Levi's mind again. He imagined pinning Eren down like this and stretching him open in preparation to be claimed. Levi hadn't seen Eren with Greg in a long time and couldn't help but hope that their relationship hadn't progressed far. Levi wanted to be the one to teach Eren what real pleasure was.

 

"Fuck," Levi whispered angrily and fought those thoughts down.

 

"Are you okay?" Erwin paused.

 

The care and concern in his voice felt like a knife in Levi's chest. "Yeah," he forced out, trying to smile.

 

Erwin kissed him softly and Levi could only think one thought. _I don't deserve Erwin_. "We can take it slow," Erwin offered uncertainly.

 

"No, I want you," Levi insisted, feeling hopelessness well up inside him until it was practically choking him.

 

Somehow understanding, Erwin withdrew his fingers and grabbed more lube, kissing both of Levi's knees as he stroked lube over his own cock. Levi spread his arms as Erwin moved closer, enveloping him in a tight embrace. As Erwin slowly filled his body, Levi threw his head back and moaned loudly, shuddering with pleasure when Erwin bottomed out.

 

Erwin gave him a few moments to adjust and then rutted against Levi's ass, purposefully trying different angles until he located Levi's prostate. As soon as the head of Erwin's cock nudged against it Levi felt his whole body go rigid, a cry escaping his lips as his nails scored Erwin's back. "There it is," Erwin purred and slid out, only to slam back in and hit Levi's prostate over and over.

 

Levi could only arch under Erwin and pant as Erwin started a steady rhythm, hammering his prostate on almost every thrust. Levi's heart was stuttering in his chest, his eyes clenched closed and his lips parted. He continued to hold Erwin close, their sweaty chests pressed together as Erwin fucked him open. Levi's toes curled as he bent his legs, trying to get better leverage to take Erwin deeper. "Fuck, _fuck_ ," Levi whispered, loving the way his whole body rocked with the motion of Erwin's thrusts. "Er—"

 

He clamped a hand over his mouth, utterly horrified because he had almost just said the _wrong name_. The hand over his mouth stopped his words but it didn't silence his angry groan. Erwin's hips slowed to a sway. Levi didn't need to open his eyes to imagine the look of concern he was receiving. "Did I hurt you?"

 

"Fuck, I can't do this anymore," Levi finally said, using both hands to push against Erwin's chest.

 

It was Levi's fault, but Erwin withdrawing from his body still left him feeling empty. "Can't do what?" Erwin asked, sitting down on the bed.

 

Levi sat up as well and pulled his legs up to his chest. There was no good way to say it so Levi just forced himself to say the words. "I think I have feelings for Eren."

 

The silence was deafening, except for the pounding of Levi's heart in his ears. He didn't know what to expect. Would Erwin hit him? Would he throw Levi out of bed and send him on his way? Would he beg for an answer, or yell? In a rush, lips were on his and Levi moaned, leaning heavily into Erwin's kiss as his body relaxed. When Erwin pulled away he kept Levi pinned with a stare, his beautiful eyes searching Levi's face. "Did you feel anything?"

 

"Of course I did," Levi snapped. "I love you. It's just..." he swallowed.

 

"You love Eren too," Erwin finished for him. How could this hurt any worse than it already did?

 

"I'm sorry," Levi whispered, hating himself for each word that spilled from his lips. "I never wanted to hurt you this way. I don't even _want_ to like him. I want to stay with you. It's so simple and easy with you."

 

"The simple answer isn't always the right one," Erwin said sadly, cupping Levi's face with a warm hand. Levi had to fight the urge to lean into it. "Go to him. Take some time to figure out what you want. You can love two people but I think you can only be _in love_ with one."

 

"I don't want to be in love with him." Levi felt a tendril of fear in his gut. "He's so much younger than me. And he's whiny and selfish and—"

 

Erwin silenced him by pressing his thumb against Levi's lips. "You're making excuses because you're scared. But sometimes the scary things are the worthwhile ones."

 

"I'm scared to lose you," Levi admitted, even though it wasn't fair of him.

 

"You will never lose me," Erwin whispered. "I will wait for you to make your decision. And even if you don't choose me..." Erwin swallowed thickly, his pain breaking through his facade of calm. "Even then, I will always love you. You are my truest friend. Just promise me one thing."

 

"What?"

 

"If you do love him, go to him," Erwin said solemnly. "I know you will probably think about punishing yourself for this. But if you are going to break my heart, do it for something worthwhile. Find happiness. It's all I ever wish for you." Levi didn't realize he was crying until Erwin moved his fingers to brush away the streams of tears. "Shouldn't I be the one crying? You have a whole new adventure to look forward to." Erwin's fingers still caressed Levi with love; perhaps they always would.

 

"Why aren't you just yelling at me?" Levi wondered.

 

"Because I am not a selfless man, Rivaille," Erwin murmured. "Yelling and getting angry at you would make it too easy for you to leave me behind. I'm sorry, but I'm not going to push you out my door."

 

Paired with these words, Erwin leaned forward and softly brushed his lips against Levi's own. Levi locked their lips and kissed back, pulling Erwin on top of him as they both fell back against the sheets. They had both lost their hardness during the talk but this was no longer about sex. This was about a connection, a love that they had shared for years. And although Erwin was giving him time to make a decision, Levi felt the tears spill from his eyes as their lips moved together because it felt like a goodbye kiss.

 

Eventually Levi realized that he would need to be the one to break the kiss; Erwin certainly wasn't going to. Gently Levi moved a hand to Erwin's shoulder and nudged. At first Erwin fought him, matching Levi's force and remaining in place. But then he sighed into Levi's mouth and withdrew. Erwin cleared his throat and looked away, though Levi still saw the shine of unshed tears in his eyes. Levi wanted to comfort Erwin but knew that it was no longer his place. Until he made his final decision, affectionate touches would only hurt Erwin more.

 

"You are a far better man than I."

 

Levi dressed quickly, the silence heavy around them. His throat was tight and his nose burned with the desire to cry, to rush back into Erwin's arms and tell him he would keep fighting these feelings for Eren. But he loved Erwin, which was why he had to leave. Levi wouldn't let himself return until he had made his choice. He wouldn't hurt Erwin anymore than he already had. Erwin didn't call out to Levi when he approached the door, and although Levi wished he had, he was also grateful.

 

He walked to his room on autopilot and sat on the edge of his bed, feeling lost and wondering what he should do. Levi doubted he could sleep anytime soon and the thought of trying to focus on a book was laughable. He needed human company to distract him. The urge to return to Erwin was obviously out, as was going to Eren. Even though this had all happened because of his feelings for Eren, Levi didn't want to see him right now. He was angry; things would've been so much simpler if Eren hadn't stolen his attention.

 

An idea came to Levi and he headed back out into the hall quickly. He didn't bother trying to hide his sigh of relief when Hanji answered zher door when he knocked. Hanji's welcoming smile fell as soon as zhe saw his face, and zhe yanked him into zher room by the front of his shirt. "Levi, what happened? Your eyes are all red."

 

Only then did Levi realize how badly his eyes were stinging from crying. He must look a wreck. "I told Erwin that I had feelings for Eren."

 

Hanji made a concerned noise and pushed him towards a chair. "Tell me everything," zhe demanded as zhe grabbed a glass bottle from the top shelf of one of zher bookcases. The amber liquid inside sloshed and Levi looked forward to its burn in his stomach. He gulped the first glass of it down as soon as Hanji handed it to him, and Levi was grateful that zhe didn't say anything as zhe topped up his glass again.

 

Levi nursed his second drink as he told Hanji everything. Zhe was the only one he trusted to say this to, knowing that it would never leave the room or change the way Hanji looked at him. Levi told zher about his growing feelings for Eren and how they conflicted with the love he still felt for Erwin. He spoke of his fear that he had hurt Erwin for no reason, that Eren's interest in Levi would be revealed only as a childish infatuation that would fade, or that Levi and Eren just wouldn't work as a couple.

 

"You did the best thing," Hanji assured him. "You and Erwin have been through so much. He deserved to know the truth, even if it hurt him. It would be worse if you kept stringing him along, or acted behind his back. As for Eren..." Hanji shrugged. "I won't make the choice for you, but I think this is a good opportunity. Eren has been good for you over the years, I think."

 

"Erwin has been good for me too," Levi said through clenched teeth. Who had saved him from being tortured? Who had taught him how to defend himself and live? Who had loved him even when he was a prickly young bastard? Erwin. "I wouldn't _be here_ without Erwin."

 

"I'm not saying he wasn't good for you," Hanji placated him with a soothing voice. "But sometimes different people are right for us at different times in our lives. You and Erwin shared everything for years, and what happens in the future will never diminish that love you share. However, that doesn't mean that you can't also have wonderful years together with Eren."

 

Tears clung to Levi's eyelashes, blurring his vision. He finished off his glass with a hard swallow and held it out for another top up. Hanji obliged silently and added a bit more alcohol to zher own glass. They sat in silence for a while; Levi lost track of time. He felt like he should say something but couldn't think of anything he actually wanted to say. Levi wanted to go back to Erwin's room and apologize again, but apologizing wouldn't make either of them hurt less.

 

Hanji sat quietly and sipped zher drink, watching him but not demanding anything. As he polished off his third glass Levi's hazy mind drifted to thoughts of Eren, and with a shuddering breath of relief Levi smiled. He didn't know what would happen next, where this would go, but Levi could explore his feelings for Eren now. Erwin had given Levi his blessing, wanting his happiness above all else. And even though Levi still felt horrible, that was a weight off his shoulders.

 

"I want to go see Eren," Levi said. He reached for the bottle of alcohol and glared when Hanji plucked it up and held it out of reach.

 

"You're drunk," Hanji said.

 

"So?"

 

"So, as your friend it is my duty to keep you from stumbling into a common room full of trainees when you're drunk off your ass," Hanji informed him.

 

"You're no better," Levi accused.

 

"Yes, well I'm not at risk of tackling one of said trainees and kissing him in front of everyone," Hanji raised an eyebrow and began to fill Levi's glass again. "You can see Eren tomorrow."

 

"You gonna stop me, four eyes?" Levi grumbled even as he accepted the offered alcohol and took another gulp.

 

"I'm gonna try," zhe shot back. "Think about it. Did you really break Erwin's heart just to botch your declaration to Eren?"

 

"Fuck you."

 

"Calm down and drink your alcohol," Hanji waved him off. "You'll thank me in the morning."

 

"I just want to see him, Hanji," Levi begged.

 

Hanji considered him for a long moment and then sighed. "Fine, but you have to stay here. I may be as drunk as you but my face isn't covered in tear tracks. I'll get Eren and bring him here if you promise to stay put."

 

" _Fine_ ," Levi shrugged, deciding that his glass could keep him company until Hanji returned.

 

Hanji left and Levi remained seated in his chair while he waited. He tried to reach for the bottle for more alcohol but gave up when he struggled to focus well enough to grab it. It felt as though Hanji was taking a lifetime getting back. Did zhe get lost or something? Levi wouldn't be surprised if zhe got sidetracked; zher curiosity only grew when zhe was drunk. It was getting harder to sit upright in the chair and Levi eventually stumbled over to Hanji's bed to flop down. Even sprawled out, his head was spinning.

 

He was barely conscious when he heard the door click open, though the concern in Eren's voice was enough to wake him up slightly. "Shit, what's wrong with him? Is he okay?"

 

"He's just drunk," Hanji assured the boy.

 

Levi heard movement and then fingers were brushing the hair from his forehead. He considered cracking an eye open but it felt like too much effort right then. Eren's voice wavered. "It looks like he was crying." There was a question in his statement.

 

"Give him some time," Hanji said. "He'll explain everything when he's ready. For now just move him to his own room. I'd like an actual bed to sleep in tonight; this hangover is going to kick my ass."

 

Levi grunted in surprise when Eren's arms wound around him and hoisted Levi into his arms. He hadn't realized the kid was quite this strong. "It's okay," Eren's words were hushed. "I've got you."

 

Levi clenched his eyes closed tighter and rested his head against Eren's shoulder as he passed out.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter notes: Perhaps it's time for some Ereri kisses? ;-)

The lurch of his stomach had Levi's eyes flashing open. He barely made it to the bathroom in time before he puked his guts out in the toilet. Levi groaned, feeling his whole body throb with pain. When he was certain that his stomach had stopped rebelling for the moment, Levi dragged himself to his feet and rinsed his mouth out multiple times with water from the sink before gulping as much down as he could manage without making himself feel sicker. It had been a long time since Levi had gotten drunk enough to experience a hangover like this, and now he remembered why.

 

Levi stumbled back out into his room and halted. Eren was curled up under the blankets and sleeping contently, one arm sprawled across the width of the bed where it must've originally been draped over Levi's waist. Then realization struck. Levi was now allowed to share a bed with Eren, if he chose. Erwin had made Levi promise; if he loved Eren, to go to him. Now was his chance to truly explore his feelings for the younger boy without fear or guilt.

 

Levi slid back into bed and pulled the blankets up tight around his shoulders. Beneath the covers his fingers felt the fabric of Eren's shirt and pants; the boy hadn't taken advantage of Levi's drunken state. Tentatively Levi snuck his hand under Eren's shirt, fingers brushing over bare skin as he spooned Eren from behind. Eren gave a quiet snore at the jostling but remained asleep, enveloped in Levi's arms.

 

Relaxed warmth filled Levi as he pressed his face against the back of Eren's neck, breathing in his natural scent. How easy this felt, how right. Their closeness had always plagued Levi with conflicted tension before. It still left him with a twinge of sadness as he imagined Erwin waking up in bed alone, his heart aching. But more than anything Levi was relieved that he had said something so that he could enjoy this without guilt.

 

Levi dozed through the worst of his headache, not seeing a reason to wake Eren up early. Even when Eren began to stir Levi remained where he was, a loose arm around Eren's waist and warm breath against the back of Eren's neck. Eren groaned and stretched as he woke up before tensing, looking over his shoulder at Levi nervously. "Levi?"

 

"What?" Levi grumbled, peeling his eyes open.

 

"Um..." Eren's cheeks were turning bright red. "Your arm is around me."

 

Levi could feel his headache returning as his heart pulsed with nerves; was Eren going to reject him? "I can move it if it bothers you so damn much."

 

Quickly Eren's fingers snuck under his shirt and threaded with Levi's own. "That's not what I meant," Eren rushed to say, rolling over so that their eyes could meet. "I'm just confused. And worried. You were crying last night."

 

Levi looked away and closed his eyes. Was now the right time to say it? Putting it into words made it real, and it felt too soon. But at the same time, Levi trusted Eren as much as he trusted Hanji and Erwin. And maybe Levi needed to make it real before he could truly move forward. "I broke up with Erwin last night."

 

Levi heard a sharp intake of air but nothing else, and when Levi glanced over he saw that Eren was gaping. "You _what_? But you two have been together forever!"

 

"I already feel shitty enough as it is, brat," Levi snapped and rolled over, intent on getting out of bed as quickly as possible. Eren caught his wrist and pulled him back, eyes still wide. Levi wrenched his arm from Eren's grasp and glared. "I thought you'd be happy."

 

Eren's brow furrowed. "How could I be happy when something makes you cry?"

 

"I broke up with him to be with _you_ ," Levi snapped. "You're both so fucking focused on _my_ happiness, it's ridiculous. I haven't done anything to deserve—Wait, don't fucking kiss me!" he pushed Eren back, whose face crumpled with confusion again. Levi explained quickly, "I just puked earlier. There's no way I'm kissing anyone right now."

 

"You're impossible," Eren accused, though a smile was breaking out on his face, happy and shy all at once. "Did you... I mean, do you really...?"

 

"I'm really confused right now, Eren." Levi figured that if he had been honest with Erwin, Eren deserved the same. "You need to understand that I love Erwin too. I've been through a lot with him, and it hurts me to cause him pain. But..." Eren's smile remained hopeful. "You're not horrible either."

 

To his surprise, Eren snorted and rolled his eyes. "Don't steal my heart all at once or anything," he teased. "Not that it would be hard," Eren added sheepishly. "Since it's already yours."

 

"You're corny as shit," Levi huffed and rested his head back against the pillow, reminded by another wave of pain that his hangover was far from over. He closed his eyes for a few minutes, not complaining when Eren lay down beside him and hesitantly rested his head on Levi's chest. Levi threaded his fingers into Eren's hair, feeling Eren shiver pleasantly at the caress. "What about Greg?" he had to ask.

 

Eren lifted his head. "I haven't been with Greg in a long time," he told Levi. "And even when we were together we were just experimenting. Truthfully..." Eren weathered his bottom lip. "When I was with him I was imagining being with you."

 

Levi fought the twinge of arousal that coursed down his spine. That was information he would hold onto for later, but he was unwilling to act on it now. He wasn't ready. It was odd being in a state of limbo when it came to this sort of thing; being with Erwin for years had meant that it was always a given that they could just kiss or have sex whenever they desired it. Now there was a lot more to consider. "So you like me too, huh?"

 

Eren chuckled. "Obviously." Levi's relief left him breathless, as did the sensation of Eren's lips softly brushing against his neck. "I can kiss you here, right?" Eren asked playfully.

 

Levi squirmed, arching his neck back for easier access. "I forgot how horny teenagers can be."

 

"Sorry." Eren didn't sound very apologetic, especially when he grazed his teeth across Levi's skin and pressed one more kiss to his pulse point before withdrawing. "I'll try to be patient."

 

"Good fucking luck," Levi said, holding little faith in Eren's ability to keep control. After all, Eren had tried to shove his hand down Levi's pants only two weeks prior when they were in Borna, and that was before Levi was unattached. "But listen, keep this to yourself for now, alright? I _refuse_ to be the newest gossip and I'll skin you alive if I hear a word about it."

 

"Are you ashamed of me?" Eren pouted.

 

"No. But I'm still not sure how everyone is going to react to our age difference," Levi admitted. "On top of the fact that I'm still trying to figure out the disaster of thoughts in my head and I certainly don't need everyone else chiming in their shitty opinions."

 

"Well I don't think anyone in the training group will be shocked. They all know already that I'm in love with you," Eren laughed and then covered his mouth quickly, his eyes widening in shock. "I mean—!" Levi's eyes had widened as well. It had been pretty obvious that Eren had feelings for him based on his behaviour, but that was a big declaration to make so suddenly. "Fuck, I'm sorry. That's not going slow."

 

"No, it's not." Levi rubbed at his eyes. "I think I need more sleep."

 

"I... I'll head downstairs," Eren offered shakily. "Training will be starting soon and I'm hungry. I'll see you later, maybe. If you want. I mean—"

 

"Just go," Levi begged. His headache was getting worse and it was causing his stomach to churn again.

 

"I'm sorry." This time Eren did sound apologetic. He pecked a soft kiss to Levi's cheek and then dashed out of the room, closing the door as quietly as he could behind him.

 

Levi knew that he was supposed to be watching over the training group while they continued to assess Marco's trustworthiness, even though during the last week Levi had seen no indication to contradict the freckled boy's story. But the bed was warm and comfortable and Levi ended up sleeping for another few hours and dragging himself into a long shower after that before he even _considered_ leaving his room.

 

Once he was dressed Levi headed outside. He was halfway down the hallway towards Erwin's room when Levi realized what he was doing, falling into the habit of visiting Erwin for breakfast some mornings. Levi forced himself to turn on his heel and head the other direction down the hall. He knocked loudly on Hanji's door and laughed at the response. " _Fuuuck oooff_!" zhe drew the words out, yelling and then cursing again quietly when zhe no doubt spurred zher headache into a full migraine.

 

"Wakey wakey you fucking meddler," Levi chimed. Although Levi had demanded to see Eren the previous night, Levi knew he wouldn't have made it all the way to the common room in his inebriated state on his own. He woke up in bed with Eren this morning because Hanji had gone to fetch him, and that was on zher. "Let's get some damn food." Levi leaned back against the wall and listened to the grumbling as Hanji wandered around zher room getting dressed. When zhe stepped out into the hall, Hanji looked as bad as Levi felt. "You look constipated."

 

"It's from holding back my desire to kick you in the balls," Hanji informed him lightly as they headed down the stairs. "You should be _thanking me_ for last night."

 

"Thanks for the worst fucking headache I've had in years."

 

"What about waking up in bed with Eren?" Hanji prompted with a wink as they barged into the dining hall, ready to raid all the remaining food from breakfast. "How was that? _You're welcome_ , by the way."

 

Levi scowled. "It was nice but it was too soon. I still feel like shit. I don't even know what I'll do the next time I run into Erwin. I nearly walked into his room this morning out of habit."

 

The first sip of tea as they sat down on one of the benches cleared Levi's head a bit. "Of course you feel shitty. He's important to you and you broke his heart." Levi sent zher a pained glare. "Think about it this way: more than anything else, Erwin wants you happy. He said it himself. So if he sees you sad it's just going to make it worse."

 

"I'm not going to flaunt Eren in his damn face, you moron."

 

"I'm not saying you need to flaunt anything, and I know you're not the shitty type who would anyway. What I'm saying is that you need to take some initiative and figure out what'll make you happy," Hanji explained to him, momentarily forgoing food in zher focus. "You're hurting both of the people you love right now by stringing them along. The sooner you make your choice and work towards being happy, the sooner everyone can move on."

 

"Great, no pressure or anything." Levi pushed his plate of food away, suddenly sick.

 

"Levi, c'mon, look at me for a second," Hanji nudged his shoulder, voice soft and comforting. Levi looked at zher grudgingly. "You're not going to lose either of them. They both love you dearly as a friend, all other things put aside. You're not choosing who lives and who gets killed here. They're both going to remain a huge part of your life. It's just that the dynamics of those relationships may change."

 

On Levi's next exhale he felt infinitely lighter. "Holy shit, sometimes you're not a rambling idiot."

 

Hanji laughed and nudged him harder. "That's what you keep me around for."

 

Levi smiled slightly and reached for his plate, his appetite returned and his thoughts calm. There wasn't a wrong choice. Things might change but he wouldn't lose either of them.

 

#

 

Around midmorning Levi headed out to the courtyard to oversee training, even though he had already heard that Marco seemed too happy spending his days with Jean to show an interest in betraying the Survey Corps. Levi remained on the sidelines, arms crossed as he watched the group go through drills. It was a little shocking for Levi to realize that the group of trainees were edging towards their eighteenth birthdays; a few had already passed the benchmark.

 

With tensions rising between the Survey Corps and the Military Police, and also the threat of attack beyond the wall, Levi and Erwin had been debating back and forth about whether or not they would take all of the trainees back over for their normal weeklong trip beyond the wall. A few of the trainees had gotten the experience while others hadn't, and although Erwin wanted each trainee to have an equal experience, putting them at unnecessary risk was not a goal.

 

Levi shrugged, not terribly concerned. Let them all go on a camping trip in the wilderness within the walls to celebrate their graduation if it was so damned important. Though Levi certainly wouldn't join on that venture, remembering his slip-ups the last two times he had gone into the forests with Eren. Of course... Levi's eyes watched Eren's form as he sparred against Mikasa. Now he no longer had to think of those warm touches and prolonged gazes as 'slipups'.

 

Eren remained focused on his training, which Levi was grateful for. Although Eren sent Levi a few smiles here and there it was no more frequent than normal. Levi was glad that Eren wasn't making any possible change in their relationship obvious to everyone else. He doubted many of the trainees knew Levi had even been with Erwin before, but they would certainly notice if Levi chose to initiate a relationship with Eren. After all, it would be obvious if Eren didn't sleep in the barracks anymore.

 

The day passed quickly as Levi's hangover faded to a dull throb and then a minor ache by dinner. Levi ate dinner with Hanji in zher room, both of them still determined to avoid any unnecessary noise. Afterwards he left zher to read in zher armchair and returned to his room, changing into a more comfortable set of pants and a loose shirt. Normally he would spend the majority of his evenings in Erwin's room but that was no longer an option. Instead Eren had invited him to join the trainees in the common room with barely-contained excitement, and Levi decided that he had nothing better to do.

 

It felt bizarre walking down the castle halls out of uniform, though he knew he had made the right choice. He didn't want to walk into the training common room as their Captain; he didn't want to draw attention to himself or his visit. Levi grabbed a mug of tea from the dining hall on his way and pushed into the common room like it was where he always spent his time, ignoring it when everyone's head shot up and their eyes tracked him around the room.

 

"What are you shits staring at?" he eventually snapped when he reached the table Eren was seated at and everyone was still watching intently.

 

Everyone rushed to return to their other activities, sharply averting their gazes. Everyone except Eren, of course, who was beaming up at Levi like he had just received a present. "Do you want to join our card game, Levi?" Eren asked. Somehow his smile widened even more.

 

Levi could see that the table was nearly full already with a large majority of Levi's training group. Connie, Sasha, Christa and Ymir were seated in their own corner by the wall; Ymir with an arm around Christa's shoulders to hold her close and sitting quietly while the other three chatted and laughed. Around Eren was everyone else, including the trio from the forest. Eren was seated at the end of the bench with Mikasa sitting across from him.

 

Beside her was Reiner and Bertholdt, Reiner definitely crowding into Bertholdt's personal space and the taller boy not seeming to mind at all that their sides were pressed solidly together. Armin sat next to Eren with Annie beside him, the two of them deep in conversation during the lull in the game. Jean and Marco sat at the far end of the table, Marco laughing happily as he leaned against Jean who had just shared what must've been a joke.

 

Levi wondered if he should really sit down and join them. Shouldn't he strive to maintain a professional distance because of his rank? Eren was smiling up at him warmly though and the others seemed to relax in his presence now that they knew he wasn't here to lecture them. "I guess it won't kill me," Levi huffed and sat in the space Eren made for him on the end of the bench. "What game is it?" Eren said the name, and began explaining the rules and purpose of the game when he saw Levi's confused expression. It only took a minute for his head to swim and Levi covered Eren's mouth with a palm. "Does someone who has a brain want to explain it to me?"

 

Eren grumbled and swiped his tongue across Levi's skin. Levi gave a little hiss and removed his hand, wiping it on his pant leg. Eren looked quite pleased with himself and leaned closer but before Levi could shove him away or stand up Eren groaned and doubled over, holding his leg where he must've been kicked and shooting a glare at Mikasa. "What the hell was that for?"

 

"You're being an idiot," Mikasa informed him loftily, and Levi suddenly wondered if he and Mikasa had more in common than he had initially assumed, besides her skill with training of course. It seemed like she shared a lot of similar thoughts about Eren's behaviour when he was acting like a moron.

 

By now Armin had tuned into the conversation, looking ready to explain the game for Levi. Eren opened his mouth to shout something back at Mikasa but Levi reached down and circled a hand loosely around Eren's wrist under the table where they wouldn't be seen. "Quiet. Let someone with brains explain so we can get on with the game."

 

Eren immediately fell silent, his cheeks turning rosy in the warm light of the common room. The smile on his face was positively goofy; it looked like he was floating on a cloud. Mikasa glanced between them suspiciously for a moment but said nothing, and if anyone else noticed they made no sign of showing it. Armin continued to explain the rules of the game until Levi eventually waved him off, telling the table that he'd watch a few rounds and then join in.

 

While the cards were being collected and shuffled Levi felt his body become hyperaware, every nerve vying for attention when Eren's hand slid upwards. Eren boldly laced their fingers together, and as their warm palms pressed together Levi felt a knot in his stomach loosen. It was so simple and yet it felt perfect, holding Eren's hand like this. Levi refused to look down and give them away but he did brush his thumb curiously over Eren's knuckles, the desire to explore building.

 

Once the cards were dealt out Levi withdrew his hand, knowing that Eren would be unwilling to pull away first but also aware of the fact that Eren playing one-handed would be horribly obvious to anyone paying attention. Namely Mikasa, who alternated between studying her hand of cards and watching them across the table. Levi used the excuse of learning the game to lean in a bit closer to Eren, enjoying the natural warmth Eren radiated as he oversaw Eren's mediocre card-playing skills.

 

After a while he felt confident enough to demand to be dealt in. They started a fresh game, wanting to level the playing field. Levi was never the best at card games, and although his competitive nature insisted that he should immediately trump everyone else at the table, he was forced to accept that just because the people sitting around him were younger didn't mean Levi was automatically better at everything.

 

Still, it didn't stop him from leaning a little further over the table in concentration and muttering to himself – and Eren, who was within earshot, "This is _bullshit_."

 

Eren laughed loudly, drawing attention for a moment before the game continued. Levi and Eren had both already made their moves for this round and Levi was impatient for the next round, falsely assuming that his luck was about to turn around. Instead he felt his body tense and then relax when Eren's hand that wasn't holding his cards slipped below the table again and started thumbing circles on his thigh.

 

"Don't worry," Eren huffed a laugh under his breath. "Armin always wins at this game anyway."

 

"But Marco is giving him some competition!" Jean beamed proudly, Marco nudging him modestly but still resting a bit of weight against him when Jean wrapped a loose arm around his waist. The others laughed and sent the pair smiles, having quickly warmed up to Marco the longer he was here.

 

"Not to mention Annie," Reiner grumbled, sounding almost as displeased as Levi had. "I'm sure all that private time she's been spending with Armin is just for strategy— _oof_!" Reiner was silenced two ways at once. Bertholdt's elbow embedded in his side while Levi could imagine the dull thud under the table was from Annie's foot kicking across to Reiner's shin. "Fuck both of you!" Reiner groaned.

 

"Be nice," Bertholdt scolded him. Annie merely sent him a warning glare and remained silent, while Armin fidgeted with the cards in his hand.

 

Levi watched the group but found it a bit difficult to concentrate. During the lapse in gameplay Eren kept his hand on Levi's thigh, fingers warm and kneading into his muscles. Levi could feel Eren's warmth on his skin through the fabric of his pants. He wasn't going to tell Eren to stop though; as long as it didn't draw attention he didn't mind. Levi was admittedly a little disappointed when the game picked back up and Eren had to remove his hand to keep playing, but he was still enjoying just playing cards with the group. It was distracting, and Eren's presence was comforting.

 

They played for another hour, switching games halfway through although Mikasa ended up dominating that game. Finally Levi stretched, feeling his exhaustion creep back into his limbs. "Well that's enough for one night," he declared aloud, standing from the bench. "Remind me to order you all to play a game I'm good at next time."

 

"Maybe we'll beat you at that too," Eren laughed, the others joining in.

 

"Watch it," Levi warned with a sharp look. "You're shittier at cards than I am." Everyone else looked a bit uncertain, not sure if they should laugh or not since they weren't as familiar with Levi's way of speaking in a non-training setting. Eren was still laughing though and slowly the rest of the group relaxed as well.

 

Levi left the common room and headed for the stairs. He wasn't sure he could sleep yet but he was done being social; curling up with a book might be a nice way to end the evening. Levi had barely managed to turn the first corner in the hallway when he heard a door open and close behind him, and Eren's voice chase after him. "Levi!"

 

Levi stilled and waited for Eren to catch up, and gave a grunt of surprise when Eren didn't slow down and instead used his momentum to pin Levi to the wall. The air was knocked from his lungs and suddenly his body was on fire, Eren's chest pressed tightly against his own. "What do you think you're doing, brat? Go back to your little friends," he grumbled and raised his hands to push Eren away. His eyes widened slightly when Eren caught his wrists and pinned them against the wall as well, stronger than Levi had ever given him credit for.

 

Eren took advantage of their positioning to lean closer, whispering warm air into Levi's ear. "I'm not a little kid anymore, Levi."

 

Levi swallowed as their eyes met. It was very true; Eren _wasn't_ a kid anymore. He was a grown man with an open heart for those who gained his trust, an easy humour despite his childhood tragedies, a strong body and the most beautiful eyes. How could those eyes be looking at Levi in that way, with such love and adoration that it made Levi breathless? Levi had brought Eren up but he was just winging it, trying to find some way to make it up to Eren for the family he had lost. He must've done something right if Eren was staring at him this way.

 

"What are you doing?" Levi hated that his voice wavered when Eren leaned in again.

 

"Taking a chance," Eren whispered back and then sealed his lips over Levi's.

 

 _Elation_. That was the first thing Levi felt, and it imitated the sensation he had experience the first time he had gotten to fly with his Manoeuvre Gear. His knees nearly buckled with the surge of giddy energy and relief, as though he was finally where he was supposed to be. Levi was glad that he had the wall for support, though he still wrapped an arm around Eren's waist to hold him even closer. His other hand slid into Eren's hair and knotted greedily, his senses muted to everything but Eren in the moment.

 

Levi let his eyes slide closed as he craned forward, deepening the kiss. Eren moaned with open desire and tried to shuffle even closer until their bodies were moulded together. Eren's hands found Levi's waist and rested there lightly, still hesitant despite the fact that Levi was kissing back. The kid's mind was probably reeling. Levi's certainly was. Levi allowed himself to moan back and continue to kiss Eren until he was dizzy and out of breath.

 

He was forced to push Eren back slightly to detach their lips; the wall left no space for Levi to retreat. Still, he didn't want Eren to think he was being rejected so Levi held his hands on Eren's body, keeping him close as they both gasped for air. "Levi?" Eren questioned nervously, searching his face for some sort of confirmation.

 

This time Levi was willing to initiate, and as soon as he had enough air in his lungs to remain conscious he reeled Eren back in for a second kiss. Eren gave a sigh of happiness into his mouth at the same time as he melted against Levi, returning the kiss eagerly. Almost immediately Levi brushed his tongue along Eren's bottom lip, taking advantage of Eren's gasp to slip his tongue inside Eren's mouth and explore. He could tell that Eren was new to this, kisses a bit sloppy until he learned to follow Levi's lead. Eren must've held back from kissing Greg, which made Levi extremely pleased to be the one to teach Eren this.

 

Eren happily allowed Levi to explore and moved both of his arms to hold the curve of Levi's back. Levi rose onto his toes to match Eren's enthusiasm and moved his hand from Eren's waist to cup his cheek. He loved the feeling of being hugged in the warm embrace of Eren's arms as they continued to kiss, and it was so easy to forget everything else outside this shared moment of intimacy.

 

Eventually Levi began to tremble with building desire, feeling Eren's own insistent need pressing against his thigh. Levi wanted to switch their positions and pin Eren to the wall, strip him and teach him what real pleasure was. What it felt like to make love with someone you shared a deep connection with instead of experimenting with a horny acquaintance. But instead Levi took a step to the side and away, putting some space between them and ignoring Eren's needy whine. Levi wasn't going to rush this, and he still had to consider that Eren was a few months away from being legal.

 

"Can I sleep in your room tonight?" Eren begged, pupils blown wide as he watched Levi's every movement.

 

"No," Levi said quickly. "What would the other trainees think if you ran off after me and didn't come back for the rest of the night?"

 

"I don't care what they think," Eren snapped. "And you shouldn't either!"

 

Levi's eyes narrowed. "The answer is still no."

 

"What, are you scared?" Eren's voice turned taunting.

 

"Yes, you insensitive little shit," Levi ground his teeth together. "Maybe I am." Eren looked shocked at the confession. Levi scoffed and looked away. "Maybe I'm scared to leave something so familiar and step into the unknown."

 

Eren stepped towards him haltingly, waiting for an order to leave that never came. His hand was large and warm as it cupped Levi's jaw and tilted his face up. "I'm not unknown," Eren reminded him. His thumb swept a warm arc across Levi's cheek. "It's just me. You know me better than anyone else in the whole world and I love—"

 

Levi stole another kiss, consuming Eren's confession. And as their lips slotted together more easily this time Levi felt a thrill send his heart racing because yes, this was new but Eren _was_ familiar. His natural scent in Levi's nose was something he knew, and his close proximity was welcome. It was easier than he had expected to kiss Eren, and he was relieved when Eren avoided rutting on his thigh again. When he detached their lips Levi remained close, kissing Eren's cheek. "Not tonight, but soon."

 

"Okay," Eren agreed breathlessly and then chuckled when their eyes met. "Fuck, I just want to keep kissing you and never stop."

 

Levi smiled softly, warmed by the thought. "Your friends will be wondering where you are."

 

Eren rolled his eyes but grinned. "Yeah, like I'm in a rush to lose at cards again. Actually..." Eren shifted his weight and then tugged awkwardly at the front of his pants, trying to make more room for the bulge Levi's eyes got stuck on. "Maybe I should hit the bathroom first."

 

Levi cleared his throat and forced his eyes away. "Yeah, probably a smart idea." Levi himself could feel heat stirring in his groin but his problem wasn't quite as... _pronounced_. He could tell that Eren was hoping Levi would buckle and let them move further but Levi knew he wanted to talk to Erwin again before things progressed with Eren. "Well..." he trailed off, not used to being this uncertain. "Goodnight."

 

"Levi, wait," Eren caught his hand. "One more kiss?" he requested hopefully.

 

Ignoring his instinct to laugh at how much Eren looked like a little puppy, Levi offered another chaste kiss. Their fingers remained laced during the kiss and something about that made the kiss feel warmer and taste sweeter. Levi couldn't even mind that Eren kept asking for more kisses because each one gave him that same lift of elation, his stomach flip-flopping and his heart fluttering away.

 

Still, he couldn't resist teasing Eren when the kiss ended. "Alright, can I go now?"

 

Eren's smile was wider than it was before. "If I say no, will you stay?"

 

" _Goodnight_ , Eren," Levi said pointedly with a quiet laugh, pecking Eren's lips one last time before pushing Eren back and heading up the stairs. He wouldn't deny a small part of his brain wishing Eren would pursue him, stoking Levi's fire until Levi no longer thought about the lines he would or wouldn't cross. Eren's footsteps headed down the hall though, in the direction of the barracks and the bathrooms, and Levi forced himself up to his room. Tomorrow he would talk to Erwin but tonight he just wanted to curl up in bed and remember the weight of Eren's lips against his own.

 

#

 

Levi forced himself to head to Erwin's rooms before breakfast. With the way his stomach was twisting with guilt and nerves, he knew there was no point eating anything unless he wanted to puke it back up. He knocked on Erwin's door quietly, disliking the way he no longer felt certain of his welcome even though it was his own fault. "Come."

 

He stepped into the room and closed the door behind him, giving them some privacy. He saw that Erwin was seated on his couch but not yet dressed in uniform. Erwin also hadn't shaved yet this morning; scruff visible on his jaw. Levi was accustomed to seeing Erwin like this when they woke up in bed together but now it just made Levi feel guiltier. The shadows under Erwin's eyes were impossible to ignore.

 

Erwin smiled when he saw Levi but it didn't reach his eyes. "I would recognize that look any day," Erwin said sadly. "I have seen you give bad news many times with that expression."

 

Levi wanted to move closer and comfort Erwin but remained standing. Nothing he could do now would make this hurt less. "I kissed him."

 

Erwin didn't look surprised. "And?"

 

Now Levi found it difficult to keep his gaze steady. "...It was like my first flight with the Gear," he said simply. It was the only description he could think of that properly matched the way he had felt.

 

"Then it sounds like it's my time to bow out," Erwin looked away first, eyes on the window and the rising sun. "I wish you every happiness, Levi."

 

"Erwin—"

 

"We will always be friends," Erwin promised him, quickly cutting Levi off before he could begin to ramble or make promises he could no longer keep. "But for now I'm sure you'll understand my request for space."

 

"I'm sorry." Levi's heart hurt.

 

"It's pointless to apologize for the whimsy of the heart," Erwin chided him, though not unkindly. His eyes returned to Levi and there was a genuine smile on his lips. "I love you still and always. Now go."

 

Levi hadn't had a chance to say everything he wanted to. Levi wanted to thank Erwin for everything he had done for him over the years, and everything he had shared with Levi. Erwin had saved Levi; given him a new life, new purpose and loving support the entire way. But he knew that now wasn't the time to push. He needed to give Erwin space and not make this any more painful than it already was. Erwin was right. They would always be friends. There was no way they wouldn't be in each other's lives.

 

It was because of the love they shared that Levi didn't fight the order and left the room. He released a sigh once he was back out in the hallway, his body feeling heavy and lethargic. Now that Hanji was no longer hung over zhe was back to zher early morning wakeups and was already in the dining room when Levi arrived. No one else had arrived yet and Levi allowed himself to slump down without bothering to hide anything.

 

Hanji looked him over with concern and nudged him with a foot under the table. "What murdered you?"

 

Levi rested both hands on the table, one on each side of his plate of food. Why had he bothered grabbing anything? He didn't feel hungry. "I kissed Eren last night, and told Erwin just now."

 

Silently Hanji reached across the table and patted his hand before resting zhers on top. It was odd but not as awkward as Levi expected it to be. Even more surprising was the fact that Hanji said nothing despite zher normally-chatty behaviour. Zhe just kept zher hand on top of Levi's and continued to eat, not demanding any details even though Levi was certain zhe was inwardly bursting with curiosity. After a few minutes Levi felt his appetite emerging and he nibbled at his bagel. For a while he liked the silence, but slowly the urge to share his thoughts grew.

 

"So do you want to hear the details or not?" he raised an eyebrow.

 

Zher glasses flashed as zhe looked up quickly. " _Everything_ ," zhe grinned. Levi told zher about Erwin first and then described his previous night with Eren, playing cards and holding hands and then their multiple kisses in the hallway. Hanji sighed wistfully when he finished, zher smile loopy and zher voice sing-song. "Eren's turning you into a _romantic_."

 

"Fuck off," Levi said, though his heart wasn't in it. Hanji's excitement was contagious, reminding Levi that he really did have a lot to be excited about. He already felt safe being himself without putting on his Captain persona in front of Eren, trusting him implicitly. And now their relationship was about to grow even deeper. They had so much ahead of them.

 

"You look so goofy," Hanji informed him happily, and Levi didn't bother fighting down his smile.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Enjoy ;) I have a feeling this will be a favourite chapter for a lot of people.

Levi noticed Eren sitting on the castle's outer wall, looking out at the surrounding fields as the wind tugged at his hair. The trainees had the afternoon off after a morning of testing, ensuring that everyone was on track before their graduation in a few months. Levi climbed the stairs and sat by Eren silently, sitting closer than he would have a week prior. Their relationship was new but physical closeness had never been a problem for either of them, especially with the kisses they had begun to share each night.

 

"You look constipated," Levi teased.

 

Eren snorted and glanced over at him. "I've been thinking."

 

"Uh oh."

 

Eren smacked him on the arm as he laughed. "Ass."

 

Levi leaned a little more of his weight against Eren, not caring who might see. They hadn't made their relationship official with anyone other than Erwin and Hanji yet – and frankly Levi didn't think it was necessary to go around announcing it to everyone – but at this point Levi was comfortable enough with his choice to not actively hide anything. "Alright, I'm listening."

 

Eren looked back out to the fields and Levi followed his gaze. There was nothing there out of the ordinary, but Levi suspected that Eren was looking at something only he could see. "I was thinking about my district. My home and my mom – well, both of my parents, but dad disappeared a while before I lost mom. It's harder to miss him when he abandoned us without an explanation."

 

That wasn't what Levi was expecting to hear at all. He rested a light hand on Eren's knee. "What brought that up?"

 

"You," Eren explained, moving his hand on top of Levi's and leaving it there. "I was thinking about how much I wish I could introduce you to my mom. I mean, I thought about that before. But I _really_ wish I could now that you're my boyfriend," Eren looked shy but happy.

 

The label sounded odd but Levi wasn't opposed to it. It would just take some adjustment. "I doubt your mom would be happy with you dating a guy twelve years older than you."

 

"You worry too much about our age difference," Eren accused, though he didn't sound angry. "I don't think she would've minded when she saw how happy you make me."

 

"Even though I got you involved in a dangerous gang at war with the Military Police?" Levi shot back.

 

Eren rolled his eyes and threaded his fingers between Levi's own. "You saved my life, Levi. You gave me a new home and a family, and you taught me to protect myself and fight for what I believe in. Yeah," he smiled. "She would've liked you." The sun was high in the sky, warming their skin as they watched the horizon. "I wonder what the Shiganshina District looks like now. It's been nearly ten years."

 

"I went back many years ago," Levi said, squeezing Eren's hand lightly. "It's all rebuilt now."

 

Eren's eyes widened. "Will you take me?"

 

"Yeah, I suppose I could," Levi agreed. "All of the trainees get a few days off once testing finishes off tomorrow."

 

"Yes!" Eren exclaimed excitedly, standing quickly. "Thank you! I'm going to go pack." Eren hesitated for a moment, perhaps considering giving Levi a kiss. But whether it was his impatience or his respect for Levi's desire to keep their relationship low key, Eren took off down the stairs with nothing more than a backwards glance and smile.

 

Unfortunately Levi had more than just packing on his mind as he also headed back into the castle and trudged up the stairs with growing dread. He stood outside Erwin's door for longer than he'd care to admit as he built up his courage to knock. They hadn't spoken since the morning when they had parted ways; Levi hadn't even seen Erwin around the castle. However, he couldn't disappear for days away from base without informing his Commander, regardless of the current strain in their relationship.

 

He knocked and received the customary, "Come." Levi breathed in and out deeply and stepped into Erwin's room.

 

Immediately Levi's eyebrows rose when he saw that Mike was seated on the couch beside Erwin, looking quite comfortable. There was a collection of reports spread across the surface of the table in front of them; perhaps Mike enjoyed looking over reports a lot more than Levi ever had. "I can come back if I'm interrupting," Levi forced the words out even though his throat felt tight. It was difficult to swallow as Erwin's eyes locked with his own.

 

Erwin shook his head quickly. "What is it you need?"

 

"I wanted to inform you that I'm going to take Eren away from HQ for a few days." _Fuck_ , how much more racy could he make it sound? Levi rushed to provide more details. "He mentioned that he wanted to see Shiganshina District since he hasn't been back since our attack years ago. I know where his mother is buried so I thought I could take him. We'd be back in time for when training restarts."

 

Erwin pursed his lips and Mike looked between them. "That sounds reasonable. Just be sure to send a correspondence once you arrive at the Shiganshina safe house. Ever since Marco joined us the Military Police have been acting very aggressively. We can't be too cautious these days."

 

"Shall we wear gear without our emblem?"

 

"That would be best," Erwin nodded. "And do not engage anyone unless you are in immediate danger. We are on the precipice of war."

 

"They've been threatening us with war for years," Levi reminded him.

 

Erwin's eyes flicked to the reports and back to Levi, his expression serious and filled with true concern. "This is different. Just be safe."

 

"Always," Levi said and saluted. It felt awkward but Erwin's smile was fond and that made it worth it. Levi excused himself from the room feeling a bit lighter, finally willing to accept it: Erwin would always be his friend.

 

#

 

Testing wrapped up around noon and Levi and Eren rode out on horseback shortly after lunch. It took the majority of the afternoon to reach their destination and Levi was relieved to finally dismount when they reached the larger city on the edge of the Shiganshina district. He had already decided that a little distance would probably be helpful in terms of where they slept at night; he didn't want Eren forced to sleep so close to his destroyed childhood home if it turned out to be a problem.

 

They were not dressed in Survey Corps attire but the guards in charge of the safe house had already been informed of their arrival. Levi and Eren got their horses set up in the tiny stable and then headed inside, greeting those who came out to salute their captain. Levi gave them a nod before heading up the stairs, Eren trailing behind him. Levi could tell by the stiffness of Eren's movements that he remembered this safe house from all those years ago when Levi had carried him away from his dead mother, Eren sobbing in his arms.

 

Luckily Levi had thought ahead and demanded a different room from his norm. All of the rooms were set up in a somewhat similar fashion but any triggers Levi could help Eren avoid the better. They headed down the opposite hallway and turned a corner, finding two doors across from each other. "Your room is the one on the left, mine is on the right," he said.

 

Eren looked to the door and back. "I thought I could sleep with you since we're away from HQ."

 

"You're so greedy," Levi accused, pushing his own door open but remaining in the doorframe. He hadn't kissed Eren since last night and although it seemed stupid, Levi was becoming increasingly impatient for the time to come when he could kiss Eren again. "Just set up your own room like you've been told. We'll see about sleeping later."

 

Understanding that it was for show, Eren entered his own room and did as he was told. A few minutes later Levi had finished setting down his saddlebags and unpacking a few things. Levi sat on the edge of his large bed and told himself to be patient, to hold in his desire to taste Eren's lips again. Then he remembered: he didn't need to hold back anymore. Yes, discretion was still important, but half of the safe house was empty and no one would dare disturb Levi in his room unless they had been summoned. On top of that, theirs were the only two rooms in this small side hallway.

 

Levi unlaced his boots and set them in the corner before closing his door and padding across to Eren's room on light feet. Eren looked up from where he was nudging one of his saddlebags further into a corner with his toes. "Are you done, or do I have to keep pretending that I have more stuff to unpack?" Eren grumbled.

 

Levi closed the door and locked it behind him. "Get on the bed."

 

Eren's eyes widened and Levi could see the way his throat constricted when he swallowed thickly. Eren was quick to comply though, rushing to the bed and sprawling out on his back. Levi would've worried that he might be acting too dominant and aggressive for a virgin, but Eren didn't seem to mind in the slightest. In fact, Levi could already see that Eren's cheeks were beginning to flush with arousal.

 

Encouraged, Levi moved to straddle Eren's stomach without hesitation. He skimmed his fingers from Eren's stomach to his chest and neck, taking in Eren's shudder and whine at the contact. Levi had been submissive to Erwin for so long that he had nearly forgotten how much he enjoyed dominating. Judging by the way Eren reached forward and squeezed Levi's thighs tightly, Levi guessed that Eren might also have some dominating tendencies, but Levi would insist on teaching Eren before bending over again.

 

"Tell me what you've done with Greg," Levi ordered, fingers teasing the dip of Eren's collarbone before moving back down his chest.

 

Eren licked his lips, eyes roaming openly across Levi's body. "A few handjobs and blowjobs," Eren said. "I didn't really want to kiss him or go further than that with him." Levi nodded. This time he snuck his hand under Eren's shirt before dragging his fingers upward, brushing bare skin. Eren's eyes fluttered closed and he smiled as he hummed.

 

Levi's hand pushed Eren's shirt halfway up his chest, exposing bare skin. Levi's eyes traced that skin, wanting to mark each inch of it, but instead he leaned forward and caught Eren's mouth. Eren gasped in surprise and opened his mouth immediately, drawing Levi in and tilting his head until their lips slotted together perfectly. Eren had learned quickly. Levi rested more weight against Eren and brushed his tongue along the roof of Eren's mouth just to hear the little whimper Eren always gave him for the action. It had become obvious almost immediately that Eren was going to be vocal, and the noises of pleasure always went straight to Levi's cock.

 

Levi kept one hand on Eren's chest, feeling the racing of his heart, while his other hand slid into Eren's hair. In response Eren slid both of his hands down Levi's back and pulled Levi's shirt from his waistband. As soon as Levi's shirt was loose Eren got his hands underneath, fingers exploring the shape of Levi's back and then greedily pulling him closer.

 

Daring to press forward, Levi moved his hand down Eren's chest slightly and rolled Eren's nipple between two fingers. Eren gasped and moaned openly into Levi's mouth, arching under him. Levi moaned in return, turned on by how sensitive Eren was to each touch. Levi continued to pinch and massage Eren's nipple as they kissed, swallowing each noise Eren made until Eren finally turned his face away to pant.

 

Wanting to push further, Levi ducked his head down and sealed his mouth over Eren's nipple, tweaking the other with his fingers. "Oh fuck," Eren whined breathlessly, squirming beneath Levi's weight which kept him pinned down to the mattress. "Why does this feel so good?" Eren wondered aloud. Levi just smirked and sucked harder, flicking his tongue against Eren's nipple just to tease him more. Levi was just starting to consider how _enjoyable_ it was going to be to introduce Eren to all of this.

 

Eren's hands reached up to Levi's cravat and tugged it away, exposing his neck. Levi lifted his head to give Eren a curious look but didn't manage to get any words out before Eren latched his mouth on Levi's neck and began to kiss and suck eagerly. Levi groaned and arched his neck to offer more access for Eren's questing lips. For a minute Eren kissed softly along Levi's old scar and then turned greedy. Levi could feel where he knew hickeys would be littering the column of his neck shortly but didn't stop Eren. His cravat would cover them when they had to go back out in public, and Levi would leave his own marks soon as well.

 

After a while Levi pulled Eren's mouth away by his hair and kissed him again, harder and more demanding this time. Eren moaned wantonly and bucked up, his hardened cock rubbing against Levi's ass where it was confined in his pants. Feeling how aroused he had made Eren had heat pooling in Levi's groin, but at the same time he remembered Eren's age; was this wrong? Levi broke the kiss and sat further up on Eren's stomach where he could no longer grind against Levi's ass.

 

Eren blinked his eyes open and frowned in confusion, lips swollen and parted as he panted. "What's wrong?"

 

"You're..." Levi paused and cleared his throat when he heard how rough his voice had gotten. "You're underage."

 

Although he wasn't sure what type of reaction to expect, Eren's anger surprised him. "You've got to be fucking kidding me!" Eren growled, leaning back on his elbows to get a bit of height without dislodging Levi who was still seated on his stomach. "Levi, I'm informed and consenting. You'll take anything you want without apology except me, and I'm _begging_ you to take me. Come _on_!"

 

Levi shook his head. "That's different. I act the way I do because people expect it of the Survey Corps' Captain. But I won't take your body when I'm not certain you—"

 

"Not certain I _what_? I know what I'm asking for?" Eren's eyes narrowed as he sat up further. "You're just scared, looking for an excuse to back out. I'm not going to turn eighteen and magically change into someone else. If you care so much about a few months then you mustn't actually give that much of a shit about me."

 

"I've always given a shit about you. Don't you dare fucking insinuate otherwise," Levi hissed, gripping Eren's shoulders and pushing him back against the mattress to tower over him. "You think I don't want you?" Levi rutted his swollen cock against Eren's stomach to prove how wrong he was. "I'm holding back because I'm trying to keep you from making an irrational mistake. I'm trying to _protect you_."

 

"Being with you won't be a mistake," Eren insisted, their eyes locked. "And you are not something I need to be protected from. You've raised me and I'm grateful, but now I want us to be equals; partners."

 

Eren wasn't normally good with words, usually blurting things out without thinking first. The words were perfect this time though as they melted Levi's heart and had his whole body relaxing. "Sometimes you actually manage to make a bit of sense."

 

Eren laughed brightly. "I save it for special moments."

 

Levi hesitated one final time, though he was already moving his body down Eren's again. "You're sure?"

 

"I'm positive," Eren promised and sealed it when he grabbed Levi's hair and pulled him down into a warm and affectionate kiss.

 

Levi returned the kiss easily, moving away only long enough to remove Eren's shirt and set aside his own. Eren showed no shyness as his hands touched Levi's bare stomach and traced the sharp curve of his waist, and Levi matched the exploration with his own hands.

 

He teased Eren's nipples again as he dipped his head down, sucking little claiming marks across Eren's chest and collarbone. They would be hidden by clothes and would fade by the time Levi and Eren returned to the castle, but Eren would still feel the sensitive skin when moving or focusing on it. These marks would have to do until Eren graduated training and would no longer be sharing communal showers with his teammates.

 

It didn't take long under the ministrations before Eren began to buck against Levi's ass again, making his arousal undeniably obvious. Levi sent him a smirk and shuffled back on his knees until he could grind the heel of his palm against the tent in Eren's pants. Eren threw his head back and whined, his hips rising to beg for more.

 

Levi felt something akin to a purr vibrate through his chest as he palmed Eren's cock. "You'd almost assume you liked me or something."

 

"Shocking deduction," Eren bit out, barely able to keep from squirming. "What could've given you that idea?"

 

"Good guess," Levi chuckled before refocusing. He undid Eren's pants and pulled them and his underwear down just enough to free his cock, the elastic waistband of his underwear hooked under Eren's balls. Without lube this would only go so far. However, unwilling to leave this as their stopping point, Levi hid his grimace and spat into his hand, wrapping a fist around Eren's length a moment later. Levi felt his own cock twitch when Eren's pulsed in his hand.

 

He stroked a few times slowly from base to tip, milking out a few globs of precome he could use to make his hand glide. Then he moved back up Eren's body, his grip still tight on Eren's length as their eyes met. "Try to keep up," Levi said.

 

In the next moment he squeezed Eren's cock once before starting a steady pumping rhythm. He made sure that he could still reach from where he was poised over Eren's body and then kissed him hard on the mouth, swallowing the first of many moans Eren would be giving him.

 

Eren clutched Levi's shoulders but didn't push him away, merely seeking an anchor as his body rocked into Levi's hand to follow his lead. The sparks of pain Levi felt when Eren's fingernails dug in desperately spurred him on. He circled his thumb around the head of Eren's cock before nudging against his slit, smearing the next bead of precome. Eren shouted and arched violently, pleasure muffled by Levi's mouth.

 

Eren was needy and unashamed and Levi was happy to give him everything he needed. It didn't take long before Eren had to break away, panting and whining as his body wound tight. Levi pressed open-mouthed kisses to Eren's bared throat, loving each beautiful noise Eren offered him. He smiled openly when it was his name that began to spill from Eren's lips.

 

"Come on, Eren," Levi goaded, lowering his voice to a seductive purr. " _Come_ —"

 

He was cut off when Eren dragged their lips together, crying out into Levi's mouth as he came. Levi was nearly bucked off when Eren's body tensed and arched as his orgasm worked through his body, bending his spine sharply, but Levi hooked his knees against Eren's hips for stability and stroked him through it. Eren's seed spilled across Levi's fist and dribbled onto Eren's twitching stomach, making the glide of Levi's hand smoother until Eren finally shuddered and tried to squirm away.

 

Levi started to move away, unsure if Eren was just oversensitive to touch or if he wanted space. His silent fear was swept away when Eren rushed to wrap his arms around Levi again, pulling him down while pleading, " _Don't go_."

 

Reassured, Levi momentarily ignored his distaste at the sticky come coating his hand and stomach when he lay down on top of Eren. His cock was still throbbing in his pants but he enjoyed just lying there, feeling Eren's chest press against his own with each shuddering breath. "Good?" Levi smirked against Eren's neck where his face was tucked.

 

"Oh fuck yes," Eren laughed openly. "I'll never want anyone else in my life." Levi nipped Eren's neck lightly for the comment but said nothing. They lay together in silence for a few minutes until Eren recovered and then Levi felt Eren's hand trail down to tug at his waistband. Levi remained in place just to annoy Eren, eventually causing a whiny, " _Levi_..."

 

"What?" Levi asked nonchalantly, as though Eren wasn't fighting to pull down his pants.

 

Levi lifted his head to read Eren's face, confused when he remained silent. It was odd to see Eren looking so shy and uncertain, though he eventually forced himself to speak up anyway. "I want to suck you off."

 

Eren's face and the tips of his ears turned red and Levi raised an eyebrow. He tried to hide his immediate arousal even though it was probably obvious with Levi's erection shoved against Eren's body. "Have you done it before?"

 

"Greg did it to me but I didn't," Eren continued to blush. However, Levi could see the way his eyes were sharpening with determination.

 

Levi felt a moment of insecurity at the thought of exposing his body and leaving himself vulnerable to someone unfamiliar and inexperienced. But it didn't take him long to recognize the way he was still pressing his body close to Eren's, soaking in his warmth. Levi reminded himself that Eren _was_ familiar; the feel of his weight resting against Levi was something he was accustomed to and thought of fondly. And everyone started out a virgin. "I'll break you in," Levi said, Eren shivering beneath him at his tone.

 

Levi rolled off Eren and onto his back, smiling at how quickly Eren rushed to straddle him. Levi lifted his hips to allow Eren to pull his pants and underwear halfway down his thighs, showing off his very obvious interest in the current situation. "Any tips?" Eren gave him a cheeky look.

 

"First, you should get rid of those pants," Levi instructed. He could already see how Eren was struggling to maintain stability with his half-shucked pants binding his legs, and Levi didn't want Eren tumbling off the bed.

 

Eren stripped without hesitating and even though Eren's cock had softened by now after his orgasm, his muscular body was still more than enough to ramp up Levi's arousal and attraction to a new level. Then Eren hooked his bare legs on either side of Levi again and looked at Levi through his lashes. "Anything else, _Captain_?"

 

"You fucking brat," Levi groaned as precome spilled from his slit at Eren's words. Eren had to be winging it as he went along, so how was he managing to hit every damn kink that had Levi burning from the inside?

 

"Fucking me sounds like a good alternative," Eren said, skin flushed and eyes dark.

 

It was too fast for both of them; at least that's what Levi told himself. But when his resolve wavered – caused by Eren grinding his ass against Levi's swollen cock in a teasing circle – Levi reminded himself that they didn't have lube and he had no intention of causing pain. "Let's leave it at this for now," he said, caressing and then squeezing Eren's warm thighs. "Just avoid teeth."

 

"Yes, sir," Eren smirked and then moved down Levi's body until his face was level with Levi's crotch.

 

The hesitance began when Eren gripped the base of Levi's cock. His green eyes flicked up and back down as though Eren was expecting Levi to push him away and tell him it had all been a joke. There was no way Levi was planning to stop this now, especially at the feel of Eren's burning fingers around him. Eren finally caught on that he was allowed to continue when Levi canted his hips upward.

 

Eren spat in his hand, imitating Levi's previous actions. Levi allowed it when Eren's slicked hand started stroking him, ignoring his general dislike of bodily fluids in favour of avoiding unnecessary friction. Eren jacked him off for a few minutes and Levi was just starting to believe that they wouldn't get past the handjob, but then Eren ducked his head down and proved him wrong.

 

Levi had to bite his lip when Eren pressed a few wet kisses to the underside of his cock and then lapped at the swollen vein almost curiously. Levi squirmed as his breath grew short, and he growled when Eren used his free hand to pin Levi's hip with his body weight. "Be patient."

 

"Why can't you just suck cock like a normal person?" Levi complained even as his hips attempted to rise when Eren repeatedly flicked his tongue against Levi's slit to taste his precome.

 

Eren paused his work and suddenly Levi regretted talking and distracting him from his task. "Why would I stop when it makes your face that red?" Eren asked playfully.

 

Before Levi could think of a response, Eren returned to his work and Levi moaned appreciatively. He wasn't accustomed to being outwardly vocal about his pleasure but it was easy to tell that Levi's noises were encouraging Eren and spurring him on. Levi indulged Eren and kept his lips parted so that his ragged breathing and occasional moans weren't muffled.

 

Levi was writhing on the sheets again because as wonderful as the drag of Eren's tongue against his flesh was, it wouldn't be enough to tip him over the edge. And _fuck_ , Levi needed to come. Levi growled loudly and fought his urge to flip them and fuck Eren's mouth to completion. "Eren, can you just— _fucking_ —" his breath stuttered when Eren's beautiful eyes looked up to stare at him.

 

Eren smiled affectionately. "What's the magic word?"

 

"Fuck you."

 

"I'd take that too, but no," Eren pressed his tongue against Levi's weeping tip and raised an expectant eyebrow.

 

" _Please_ ," Levi forced out through clenched teeth.

 

Watching Eren's lips – already swollen from kissing – part and circle his cock was nearly enough to push Levi over the edge. Levi bit his tongue to hold off, unwilling to let this come to an end so quickly. It was easier to maintain control since Eren's pace was slow, careful as he took more into his mouth while avoiding choking.

 

Eren's mouth felt like fire enveloping him, his tongue cradling the weight of Levi's cock. Levi leaned back against the pillows and moaned loudly before looking back down, drinking in the sight of Eren sucking on his cock. Feeling possessive, Levi reached down and slipped his fingers into Eren's hair, resting the weight of his hand on the back of Eren's head.

 

Eren moaned immediately and Levi gasped at the sensation of Eren's mouth vibrating around him. Levi continued to pet Eren's hair and muttered suggestions only occasionally, happy to let Eren learn and gain confidence at his own speed. As Eren continued he figured out how deep he could take Levi into his mouth without gagging, and paired that with his sucking to wind Levi tighter.

 

Levi's hips began to rise again and this time Eren didn't hold him down, welcoming Levi to use his mouth for his pleasure. Eren kept one fist curled around Levi's base and bobbed his head quickly, meeting Levi's increasingly demanding thrusts.

 

He thought this would feel awkward, that it would be weird being so intimate since Levi had raised Eren. But all Levi could think about was the heated stares he received when Eren thought he wasn't looking, and those first desperate kisses they had shared in the corridor last week. Being with Eren felt amazingly _good_.

 

"Suck harder," Levi demanded, thighs trembling as he teetered on the edge of orgasm. "Or use your hand if you don't want to swallow. And don't you _dare_ fucking stop to ask what I want because I don't care," he added when he felt Eren slow down.

 

Eren quickly lowered his head to take an extra half inch of Levi's cock until his lips nearly met his hand. Then Eren swallowed around him at the same time as he looked up at Levi through his lashes. Levi's hips rose instinctively as he felt the wet heat of Eren's mouth constrict around him and he cursed as he spilled his come down Eren's offered throat.

 

Eren swallowed as much as he could and then licked Levi clean, looking extremely proud of himself. Levi shivered as his body unwound and melted into the blankets. His eyes were half-lidded as he watched Eren dutifully lap at him until his cock softened. Finally he had to push Eren away, his body over-sensitized and trembling at each small touch.

 

Taking the hint, Eren removed his mouth and crawled up Levi's body. Levi let him approach until he realized Eren was coming in for a kiss. "Fuck no," Levi pushed at Eren's chest to keep him at arm's distance. "No kissing until you brush your teeth."

 

Eren deflated and knelt beside Levi's hip, head hung low. "Was it bad?"

 

Levi sighed with aggravation and pulled Eren closer, fighting Eren's resistance until Eren gave up and lay down hesitantly on top of Levi. "It was good," Levi said, brushing his fingers through Eren's hair and across his sweaty skin. "Very good for a virgin."

 

"Wow, _thanks_ ," Eren rolled his eyes, though his smile had returned.

 

"Though I still have a lot to teach you," Levi lowered his voice to add.

 

Eren ground his body against Levi for a moment and arched his spine in an obvious display. "I can't wait."

 

Levi skimmed his fingers down the curve of Eren's spine appreciatively, his heart still beating hard as it recovered from his orgasm. Thankfully Eren lay back down on top of Levi then instead of trying to rile them both up again. Levi wrapped his arms around Eren's waist and held him close, feeling Eren's own heart thumping against his chest. Levi closed his eyes and let himself fully relax. Although he had never expected anything like this, he was content with where he had ended up – and who he had ended up _with_.

 

"Hey, Eren," Levi curled Eren's hair around his fingers lazily.

 

"Hm?" Eren hummed, sounding close to falling asleep.

 

"I'm glad you're in my life," he said simply.

 

Eren lifted his head and pressed a closed-mouth kiss to Levi's cheek, respecting his qualms about cleanliness. "Me too," Eren smiled and then laughed softly after he yawned. "Can we spend the rest of the evening together in our rooms?"

 

Levi slipped his fingers deeper into Eren's hair. "What about exploring your district?"

 

"It'll be getting dark soon," Eren reasoned. Judging by the way his shoulders had tensed, Levi suspected that it was somewhat of an excuse to delay the visit, but he felt no need to pressure Eren into rushing.

 

"Yeah, alright," Levi agreed. "But we're showering first." He received another kiss, this one to the sensitive skin of the old scar on his neck. Levi wasn't sure why, but it made his lips quirk up in a smile he couldn't contain. He didn't bother hiding it, though it meant he had to push Eren away when he attempted another kiss to his lips. "Seriously, shower and brush your damn teeth."

 

Eren huffed a laugh and dismounted, grabbing his clothes from the floor to pull them back on. Levi hiked his pants back up his legs and buttoned them closed, eager for his own shower. Eren handed him his shirt from the floor and Levi buttoned it slowly, taking his time watching Eren's bare skin until it was covered. "Where's the nearest shower?" Eren asked, trailing off when he turned and caught Levi staring. " _Wow_."

 

Levi raised a confused eyebrow. "What?"

 

"I just..." Eren wrung his hands together nervously. "I've loved you for years, and dreamt of being with you. I knew you cared for me; you wouldn't put up with me otherwise. But I never thought you'd look at me like that." Eren's smile was goofy and lopsided. "It feels amazing."

 

"Ugh, I'm dating a sap," Levi fake groaned, covering up the way his heart had started skipping beats. The way Eren used that word so easily towards Levi – _love_ – and yet didn't throw it around with others, even his closest friends... What had Levi ever done to earn such unwavering adoration? Not yet ready to step into that serious conversation, Levi answered Eren's previous question. "If you head back down the hall, the communal showers are where the two hallways intersect."

 

Eren didn't seem to mind that Levi hadn't yet said that heavy word – _love_ – back. "Okay, I'll see you there?"

 

Levi shook his head. "I have a room for officers so I have my own bathroom."

 

Eren pouted. "Can't I join you then?"

 

"I can't see how showering with a horny teenager would help either of us get clean," Levi pointed out and headed for the door. "Just hurry up and come to my room when you're done."

 

He left and slipped across the hallway into his own room quickly, locking the door behind him just in case Eren got any clever ideas about sneaking in. Not that Levi was opposed to the idea of sharing a shower someday – pressing him up against the tile and making him scream his name over the cascade of water. But Levi did actually want to clean his body, and he also wanted some proof that this desire to be with Eren was more than just their combined sex drives.

 

As he rummaged through his travel bags for a change of clothes, Levi let out a tired curse under his breath. Near the bottom of his bag he found a small container of lube, waiting innocently for him to discover. So that was why Hanji was so insistent on helping him get his bags organized on his horse. "Fucking meddler," Levi sighed and dropped the container back into his bag and taking his clothes into the bathroom.

 

The hot shower spray felt good on Levi's bare skin and he indulged in a few minutes of simply standing there, eyes closed and head tilted back. He took his time cleaning his hair and skin and let his thoughts wander. As frustrated as he was with himself, Levi was still a bit nervous about his choice. What if he had left Erwin for nothing more than fleeting lust? What if Eren got his fill and then moved on, or if Levi was the one who grew bored and hurt Eren by leaving?

 

Levi liked to think that he and Eren shared a closer bond than that. Realistically he wouldn't have chosen Eren over Erwin if he didn't think there was something between them. He was well aware of everything he had shared with Eren over their years together, and the way they had grown closer because of it. But with the way Levi's head had been mostly filled with only sexual thoughts recently, and Eren seemed focused mainly on getting Levi's pants off, it left him feeling insecure in his decision. He wanted more than just a few good fucks out of Eren.

 

The muffled sound of knocking startled Levi out of his thoughts. Levi quickly rinsed his hair and skin and turned off the shower, grabbing his towel and wrapping it around his hips. The knocking was ongoing and Eren called through the door. "And you tell _me_ to hurry up. You're so _slow_."

 

"Maybe I should leave you out there longer," Levi said back, taking the time to dry off and pull on a new set of underwear.

 

" _Levi_ ," Eren whined.

 

He stepped into his pants and did them up before walking over to the door, unlocking it and pulling it open. Eren made no attempt to hide his wandering eyes when Levi exposed his body. Levi took a minute as well to take in the slight tint of red on Eren's skin from the heat of his own shower and the messy way his hair was sticking up. "Do you even own a comb?" Levi asked as he stepped back into his room, hanging up his towel in the bathroom and then grabbing a shirt to pull on.

 

"I do, but I just used my fingers," Eren shrugged.

 

"I figured."

 

Eren chuckled. "Does it bother you?"

 

Levi swept his eyes over Eren again. He knew what he wanted to do. Levi moved closer and slid his fingers into Eren's damp hair, mussing it up even more to his liking. "Better," he said when he was done.

 

Eren's hands had found Levi's hips and he leaned in closer. "I brushed my teeth."

 

"Do you need an invitation?"

 

"I guess not." When Eren ducked down it ended up with Eren smiling widely against Levi's lips, and although it wasn't strictly a kiss, it was incredibly endearing. Levi kept his fingers knotted in Eren's hair and pressed their foreheads together, taking in their closeness. He expected Eren to pull him back into a kiss or demand more and was pleasantly surprised when Eren merely kept his arms looped loosely around Levi's body and held him close. "I really like this."

 

"I do too," Levi said, breathing Eren in. The moment was broken when Eren's stomach growled. Levi kissed the underside of Eren's chin and then withdrew. "How about dinner?"

 

Eren agreed and they made their way downstairs together, just enough space between them to be appropriate. They found that food hadn't been made yet, and since Levi didn't feel like cooking he led Eren out onto the streets. He bought them dinner from the nearby street market and together they carried the food to the wall which was beginning to cast shadows over the town. Levi and Eren hadn't worn their Gear, not wanting to draw attention to themselves, so they were forced to climb the painful flights of stairs up to the top of the wall after Levi talked to one of the guards.

 

They walked along the wall for a few minutes until they had some privacy to sit down and eat in peace. The sun was edging towards the horizon, turning a deep orange as it bathed them with warmth. Subtly Levi reached for Eren's hand and laced their fingers together, and feeling Eren squeeze his hand in return was enough to make Levi smile. It didn't take long to devour their food, both of them hungry from their travels, but even when they were finished eating they remained seated on the wall watching the sunset.

 

"Does it bother you?" Eren questioned at one point.

 

"Does what bother me?" Levi looked over.

 

"When I tell you that I love you."

 

In the sunset Eren's blush was beautiful. "No, it doesn't bother me." Levi swallowed, his stomach twisting with nerves. "Does it bother you that I haven't said it yet?"

 

"Not really," Eren said, eyes still warm. "I mean, it would be nice to hear. But I get it. As long as I get to keep telling you."

 

"Why is that so important?" Levi brushed his thumb over the back of Eren's hand.

 

Eren looked away shyly before forcing himself to meet Levi's gaze again. "Because I haven't been able to tell you before, and I always wanted you to know. You've been the best part of my life."

 

Levi's eyes fell to their clasped hands. "I don't know what I did."

 

Eren's laugh caught his attention. "What _didn't_ you do, Levi? You comforted me when my world ended. You taught me how to function in society and you were patient with me when I was a little shit. You saved me from myself and the world. You're my best friend. You're the one I..."

 

"What?" Levi leaned in a bit closer.

 

"Forget it," Eren looked away. "It's stupid."

 

"Eren, tell me?" Levi wanted to order, though it sounded more like a request.

 

Eren took a deep breath and clenched his eyes closed, rushing through his next words. "I love being part of the Survey Corps and I know it's important to remember that we're at war, but all I dream about is going on adventures beyond the wall with you. Hanji let Armin read some of the books collected from my district all those years ago. He told us stories about this thing called the ocean where it's just ground and then so much water you can't see anything beyond it. It sounded scary," Eren admitted, his hand still clasped with Levi's tightly. "But then I imagined standing there with you and it seemed exciting instead."

 

"Eren..."

 

"I know it's stupid, you don't have to tell me," Eren cut him off.

 

"Eren." Levi used his free hand to cup Eren's cheek and turn his face until their eyes locked. "As soon as it's safe to go, I promise you that we'll go find this ocean together." He wasn't sure who moved first but one moment he was looking into Eren's eyes and the next their lips were locked together. Levi let his eyes drift closed without a care in the world about who could possibly see them. Because this was why he had chosen Eren and why it had been the right choice. Erwin was comfort and familiarity, as was Eren. But Eren was also excitement and adventure and a drive to always aim for the stars.

 

It felt as though the whole world has paused to allow them a longer moment together. Levi leaned closer, deepening the kiss as his hand moved to cradle the back of Eren's neck. Eren moaned softly for him and kissed him back, and they remained like that until they had to break apart to breathe. "I don't know if I'll ever get over how amazing that feels," Eren laughed, moving to rest his head on Levi's shoulder.

 

Their bodies remained close as they watched the sun touch and sink below the horizon. For the most part they remained silent, comfortable together without conversation after their many years of company. Once the sun had fully disappeared the air grew chilled, driving them back to the safe house. As soon as they were in their own private hallway Levi caught Eren's hand again and pulled him into Levi's room.

 

Levi instructed Eren to light the candles around the room while he dug around in his bag, pulling out the small book he had packed away. He set it on the bedside table and changed into his sleeping clothes, having no intention of leaving the room again that night. Eren kept glancing back at him to watch the impromptu striptease, blushing when Levi sent him a wink. "Can I sleep here tonight?" Eren requested when he finished with the candles.

 

Levi was already slipping under the blankets and propping up the pillows the way he wanted them. "Sure, why not?" he said nonchalantly, pretending to not notice Eren's grin. Levi's thoughts returned to the lube at the bottom of his bag but he pushed that aside; he wanted to spend a relaxing evening with Eren now that the sexual tension between them had finally been satiated.

 

Eren raced across to his room to change into his own sleeping clothes while Levi flipped idly through the stories in his book. In the end he decided to let Eren choose and handed the book over after Eren got positioned comfortably under the blankets beside Levi. "We haven't read in a long time," Eren said as he accepted the book.

 

Feeling a bit weary, Levi rolled over and moulded his body to Eren's side. "Pick whichever story you want. You're in charge of reading tonight." Levi rested his head on Eren's chest, enjoying the relaxing rise and fall that indicated Eren's calm breathing. Even better was when Eren picked the story he wanted to read and held the book with one hand while his free arm wound around Levi's body under the blankets, holding him tightly.

 

Eren's voice, when he consciously tried, could take on a hushed tone that immediately had every inch of Levi's body melting. Levi didn't even realize he was falling asleep, lulled by Eren's voice, until he blinked his eyes open some unknown time later and took in a darkened room. The candles had been extinguished and the book returned carefully to the bedside table. It was incredibly warm in bed and after a moment Levi realized why; Eren was spooning him from behind and snoring lightly.

 

Levi's affections bloomed and he rested his head back down against the pillows, breathing out and releasing a contented hum. _I could get used to this_ , he thought happily as he drifted back to sleep easily.


	20. Chapter 20

Eren and Levi made their way down the street side by side, hands brushing occasionally although they did not hold hands in public. It was jarring to see the Shiganshina District bustling with life and activity, people filling the markets and kids playing in the streets. Levi still remembered the smoking ruins of the district, and the eerie silence of a city burned to the ground.

 

He knew it had to be even more overwhelming for Eren. The last time he had been here he had watched his house collapse, his mother die in front of him and his entire life crash down around him. The district had been rebuilt but it was no longer Eren’s home; nothing remained of his childhood to offer a warm familiarity.

 

It was Levi who had to grip Eren’s arm lightly and lead him down the correct street towards where his house used to stand. “I can’t believe I don’t remember where to go,” Eren mumbled sadly, willingly staying close to Levi’s side.

 

“You were young,” Levi reminded him. “And it doesn’t look similar around here at all anymore. I wouldn’t know where to go if I hadn’t seen the city from the air using my Gear.”

 

“I guess so,” Eren said, though he still sounded disappointed. Levi stopped walking and Eren stopped beside him, looking around in confusion. “Why are we stopping?”

 

Levi squeezed Eren’s forearm a little tighter. “Does this not look familiar at all?”

 

Eren did another sweep of the street but no recognition lit up his eyes. “No.” Levi turned Eren’s head gently until he was looking at the house standing directly in front of him; the one that had replaced Eren’s destroyed one. “You have to be lying,” Eren said weakly.

 

“The whole house collapsed,” Levi said, an apology in his tone. “They rebuilt from the foundation up.”

 

“I just—” Eren’s voice wavered. “I thought it would at least be a _little_ familiar. As sad as I was expecting it to be, I was hoping I could come back and at least think, ‘ _This was home_.’ But this isn’t home at all!” Eren turned to lean against Levi, tucking his face against Levi’s neck. “There’s nothing left.”

 

Levi stroked Eren’s hair soothingly, holding him close. “We could go see your mother.”

 

“What do you mean?” Eren sniffled. “This was where she died.”

 

“Do you remember the day after I took you to the safe house, I left for a few hours?” Levi asked.

 

“Yeah,” Eren nodded. “I was really angry at you for leaving.”

 

“I know,” Levi said sadly, remembering the fat tears that had trickled down Eren’s cheeks. “I never found out where your father was but I came back here the next day. I made sure your mom got a proper burial.”

 

Eren leaned away enough to see Levi’s face. “Why?”

 

Levi took a moment to brush away the tear tracks marring Eren’s cheeks with his thumb. “I had a crying kid waiting for me to come back because his mom was gone. I felt responsible and I could do something so I did.” He continued caressing Eren’s face when his tears began anew. “And if you ever wanted to come back, I wanted you to have somewhere to go.”

 

Eren caught his lips in a rush. The kiss was sloppy and tasted of salt but Levi allowed it until Eren returned to hugging Levi so tightly it was a bit hard to breathe. “Can you take me to her?”

 

“Of course,” Levi agreed and laced his fingers with Eren’s, leading him further down the street by their joined hands.

 

The cemetery Levi had Eren’s mother buried in wasn’t a far walk from where Eren’s house used to be. The sun was high in the sky and warm so they took their time walking until the cemetery came into view at the end of a side street. “She’s near the back,” Levi said as they wove their way through the rows of tombstones.

 

Eren stopped in his tracks when he saw the name on the plain white tombstone. ‘ _Carla Jaeger_ ’. “How did you know her first name?”

 

“I asked you,” Levi said. “You probably don’t remember or didn’t think much of me asking. Anyways,” he shrugged. “I’ll give you some time alone. Don’t rush.”

 

When he released Eren’s hand Eren sort of folded in on himself, lowering to his knees in front of his mother’s grave. “You’ll be close?” Eren questioned, eyes already brimming with new tears.

 

“Right over there,” Levi pointed to the bench halfway down the row.

 

Before Levi even fully turned to walk away Eren started to talk and Levi was almost tempted to stay close with what he heard. “Hi mum. Before you ask, I’m okay. I’m glad you told me to go with Levi all those years ago. You always knew what was best for me. He swears a lot but he’s a great guy deep down.”

 

Levi rolled his eyes affectionately and continued towards the bench, knowing Eren would call him when he wanted. From where he sat Levi could see Eren talking but couldn’t make out the words. It was a private conversation so Levi didn’t strain his ears to hear. It was more difficult for Levi to stay distant when he saw Eren crying and burying his face in his hands, but he tried his best to give Eren some time alone to work through his thoughts and emotions.

 

While he sat there Levi ended up thinking a lot as well. He remembered the guilt he had felt sailing over the destroyed district, and the anger he felt towards Carla for forcing Levi to become involved and take responsibility. He remembered the hopeless frustration he experienced when he spent the next few days with a heartbroken child crying in his arms. Levi had been furious at having Eren thrust into his life so violently.

 

Of course, those thoughts inevitably led to memories of Eren becoming the centre of Levi’s world. He was protective of the boy almost instantly, and even though Levi couldn’t remember the exact moment it happened, at some point Levi’s happiness had become entwined with Eren’s own.

 

As Eren grew older Levi had enjoyed teaching Eren how to defend himself and fight. Levi hadn’t minded acting as Eren’s safe haven until he regained his confidence and developed his own independence, especially when Eren still returned to him and trusted Levi to be his confidante and support.

 

Levi couldn’t pretend that their relationship was one-sided though. As much as Levi had helped Eren over the years, Eren had helped Levi in return. Despite the fact that Erwin had brought warmth and purpose into Levi’s life, Levi had remained hardened and jaded after the death of his parents and his subsequent torture. Levi had thrown himself into the Survey Corps’ missions and thought of little else.

 

Eren, with his bright optimism, burning determination and caring heart, had taught Levi that there was more to live for than just revenge and that caring for people, while potentially dangerous, made life worth living. Eren had brought joy and an excitement for the future back into Levi’s life, and Levi was grateful.

 

“Levi?”

 

Levi looked up quickly. “What?”

 

Though tearstained, Eren’s smile was welcoming. “Can you come here?” he beckoned with a hand.

 

Levi didn’t want to intrude so he approached slowly, giving Eren time to change his mind. However, as soon as he was in reaching distance Eren clasped Levi’s hand and tugged him down to sit on the grass beside him. “You okay?” Levi asked quietly when Eren leaned the majority of his weight against him.

 

“Yeah,” Eren sighed. “I mean, obviously I wish I hadn’t lost her. We fought about some things but I loved her and I wish I could come home and visit on holidays, tell her stories about you and my training, you know?

 

Levi gave a hum of agreement. It had been longer for him since losing his parents but he remembered wishing for that as well.

 

“At the same time, it’s hard to regret where I am now,” Eren continued to speak. “As horrible as it makes me sound, I don’t like imagining a life without you in it.”

 

“Neither do I,” Levi said, returning to his thoughts from the bench. “You changed my life for the better.”

 

“Now who’s being a sap?” Eren teased and kissed Levi’s cheek before he could retaliate. “But I hope you know you changed mine for the better too. I was such a little shit back then. I had all these ambitious dreams that probably would’ve gotten me killed.”

 

“You’re still a little shit now,” Levi chuckled. “The only difference is that now you’re mine and I won’t let you do something stupid enough to get hurt.”

 

“Mom would’ve really liked you,” Eren said wistfully.

 

“I don’t think she was too pleased that I was her only option back then,” Levi refuted.

 

“You don’t know my mom,” Eren shot back. “She wouldn’t have left me to you if she didn’t think you’d do a good job.”

 

“A gangster over twice your age,” Levi snorted. “I’m sure she was thrilled.”

 

Eren gave him a serious look. “You never proved her choice wrong.”

 

“True,” Levi had to agree. “Mainly because you somehow managed to trick me into becoming fond of you.”

 

“Sucks to be you,” Eren laughed.

 

Levi wrapped his arm a little tighter around Eren’s body. “Not really.”

 

“Aww,” Eren cooed, though Levi could tell by his smile and blush that he was happy at Levi’s comments. “You’re going to spoil me by being too nice to me.”

 

“You always manage to complain about something, don’t you?” Levi huffed. “You damn brat.”

 

“As long as I’m yours.”

 

Finally Levi groaned and fake-shoved Eren away. “Stop it, I’m going to gag.” Eren took no offence and easily leaned his body against Levi again, sighing contently as he turned his eyes back to his mother’s grave. Levi resituated his arm around Eren’s waist. “I wasn’t expecting you to be this calm, to be honest.”

 

“Did you think you were going to have to deal with me sobbing again?” Eren wondered.

 

Levi shrugged lightly. “Or going off like a firecracker. I wouldn’t have faulted you.”

 

“Thanks,” Eren said. “But I’ve had almost ten years to accept this. As good as my memories are of her, I’m used to living without her now. Especially with you and all my friends in my life.”

 

“Do you want to stay longer?” Levi asked, in no rush for them to head back. Erwin wasn’t expecting them to be back to HQ for another day at the earliest.

 

“Would you mind?”

 

“No. I can give you more time alone if you’d prefer,” Levi offered.

 

“I’d prefer if you stayed,” Eren said hesitantly.

 

“Alright.”

 

They sat side by side on the grass for another long while, warmed by the sun. Neither of them spoke and the silence between them was comfortable and companionable. Levi guessed that Eren was still thinking about his mother since Eren occasionally lifted a hand to brush away a few stray tears. Levi considered saying something but couldn’t think of the right words.

 

Sometime later Eren’s stomach grumbled and Eren laughed. “Let’s get some food. I’m starving.”

 

“We can come back later if you want,” Levi said as he stood up, brushing grass from his pants.

 

Eren stood beside him and with comfortable ease clasped Levi’s hand with his own. Only after their fingers were already laced did Eren seem to realize his boldness. “Is this okay?” Eren worried. “I remember you saying you don’t like doing this stuff in public.”

 

Levi looked down at their joined hands. He really wasn’t a fan of showing affection in public; he didn’t think it was anyone else’s business and he hated the attention it drew. However, there didn’t seem to be a reason to fuss in moments like this when there really wasn’t anyone around. “It won’t kill me.”

 

“How brave of you,” Eren teased, though he didn’t lean in to demand another kiss. “Where should we go?”

 

“If you want to come back here after, there’s a market further into the city that would be good,” Levi suggested.

 

“I don’t think I’ll need to come back here. At least, not now,” Eren said. “But I’d like to walk by the house again. You can lead.”

 

Levi didn’t protest and began to lead them towards the main walkway. He paused when Eren stopped, his hand slipping from Levi’s grasp. “Sorry,” Eren rushed to say and quickly ran back to the grave. Eren rested a hand on top of the tombstone and smiled warmly. “Bye, mom. I love you.” Eren stood there for a moment and Levi watched, his desire to hold Eren in his arms building.

 

He held back when Eren returned to his side, and was surprised by his own disappointment when Eren respected his space and didn’t reach for Levi’s hand again. It made Levi more eager to get back to the safe house where he could spend some time with Eren in peace. “Ready?”

 

“Yeah, let’s go.”

 

Levi knew of a market closer to the safe house and led Eren in the general direction down the streets that would take them past Eren’s old home location a second time. He said nothing when Eren stopped walking in front of the new house, looking it over. However, Levi’s curiosity was piqued when he saw Eren turning to stare up at the sky. He looked up as well, studying the nearest rooftops.

 

“You came from there,” Eren mumbled almost to himself, glancing from the rooftops back down to the cobblestone where Eren had knelt, hugged by his mom until her arms went limp around him.

 

“You called me,” Levi remembered. On that day, and after, Levi had never been able to explain what it was about Eren’s call for help that sidetracked him. Levi had seen others suffering and asking for assistance that day and he had done nothing to help.

 

“I thought you were an angel,” Eren admitted, eyes glassy and thoughts far in the past. Levi guessed that with living so close to the outer-most wall, Eren wouldn’t have seen many people flying with Gear in his youth. “Your cloak billowed out like wings and your skin shone. I remember...” Eren trailed off and laughed, shuffling his feet. “I was in awe.”

 

“You didn’t mind scratching a poor angel’s face with your nails,” Levi pointed out.

 

“Of course not; I was angry with you,” Eren said. “In my mind you were supposed to save my mom, not me. And you were taking me away from her when I was certain I could help even if you wouldn’t.”

 

“I would have helped if I could,” Levi defended. “There was no way we could move all that debris. Even then it would’ve taken a miracle for her to heal.”

 

“I know,” Eren said softly. “I don’t blame you. I never did.”

 

“Perhaps you should have.”

 

“Why?” Eren demanded, though he didn’t wait for an answer. “If it wasn’t the Survey Corps’ raid then it would’ve been the Military Police or the famine. And why would I force myself to hate a man who did everything to give me the best life he could? You’re an idiot.”

 

Levi narrowed his eyes but he was too surprised by Eren’s words to come up with a worthwhile response. Eren had a point. “Thank you.”

 

Eren’s eyes softened as he smiled and took a few halted steps down the street and away from the house. “Come on, it’s time for some food.” With no reason to argue, Levi matched Eren’s pace and continued down the street. “You know,” Eren started again conversationally as they neared the gate that would take them through the wall and out of Shiganshina District. “I’m going to miss this relaxed Levi when we get back to HQ.”

 

Levi was relieved to know that Eren was aware of the fact that Levi’s current attitude and open behaviour would be reined in when they were surrounded by officers and trainees again. But he was still a bit worried that the change would push Eren away or make him question Levi’s feelings. “Not too late to change your mind,” he said stiffly.

 

Eren’s eyes went wide. “Change my mind? What the hell?” Eren rushed to stand in front of Levi and then stopped, forcing Levi to stop quickly to avoid stumbling right into him. It would’ve been intimidating having Eren’s tall, muscular body stilling Levi, except those green eyes were gleaming with warm affection. “Levi,” Eren said under his breath, voice more serious than Levi had ever heard before. “There is nothing you can do to scare me off. You seem to be forgetting that I’ve known you for ten years. I’m used to your moods and pet peeves and everything else.”

 

Levi _had_ forgotten momentarily. But now he remembered years ago when he told Eren that he would act differently and show less affection in front of the trainees. Even at eight years old, as spoiled as Eren could sometimes act, Eren had accepted this condition and had let go of Levi’s hand while watching the new training group – at least until they were in private again. Eren was already aware of Levi’s worst sides, and seemed willing to love them as much as every other facet of Levi’s personality.

 

“Well then. If I can’t get rid of you then I suppose I should treat you to some damn food,” Levi said and nudged Eren’s arm in passing on their way through the gate.

 

“It’s about time,” Eren grinned and walked at his side.

 

#

 

“Do you think you’ll want to go back into the district tomorrow or are you ready to head back?” Levi asked as he brushed his fingers absent-mindedly through Eren’s hair. As soon as Levi had opened his book and sat down on his bed to read after dinner, Eren had lay down against Levi, resting his head on Levi’s lap. It hadn’t taken long for Levi to slump down against the pillows, Eren taking full advantage to sprawl further across Levi’s stomach.

 

“Depends.” Eren didn’t elaborate.  


Levi lifted his book slightly to look down at Eren. “On what?”

 

“I don’t need to go back to the grave tomorrow,” Eren said. “But there is something I want to do before going back.” Eren’s fingers had begun tracing circles on Levi’s stomach through his shirt tellingly.

 

“Oh?” Levi wanted Eren to say it, refusing to assume.

 

Eren plucked the hem of Levi’s shirt in his fingers and pushed it up to his chest. As soon as Levi’s skin was bare, Eren kissed his stomach and then dragged a warm tongue over Levi’s bellybutton, causing the muscles beneath to jump. “I want you to fuck me.”

 

Levi sighed and mentally cursed when the noise had sounded breathier than he had intended. It was difficult to think of an argument with Eren’s teeth and playful tongue grazing his skin and teasing around the waistband of his pants. “Don’t you think it’s a bit fast?” Despite the fact that Eren insisted he was informed and consenting, Levi refused to take advantage of Eren’s eagerness.

 

“It doesn’t feel fast with how long I’ve wanted to be with you.” Eren didn’t wait for permission; he immediately kissed the curve of Levi’s narrow hip and then mouthed at Levi’s length through his pants. Levi released a quiet groan at the sensation. “I want you to fuck me right now so that I can scream your name without worrying about breaking my promise to act low key when back at HQ.”

 

Eren’s surprising thoughtfulness – plus the sensation of Eren returning to mouthing at Levi’s cock as it began to twitch and swell – was enough to break Levi’s resolve. He hooked his hands under Eren’s arms to flip him over, pinning Eren to the mattress using his entire body. Eren opened his mouth, perhaps to argue further, but Levi silenced him with a deep and demanding kiss.

 

Without needing more of a hint, Eren wrapped his legs around Levi’s waist and dug his fingers into Levi’s dark hair, refusing to let the kiss break until they were both dizzy with lack of breath. Levi tried to pull away and Eren held him tighter. “No fucking way. You’re not leaving after a move like that.”

 

“I’m getting lube, you impatient shithead,” Levi pried him off and grabbed the lube from his bag.

 

“You brought lube?” Eren gaped.

 

Levi snorted and set the container beside the pillow. “You can thank Hanji for sneaking it into my bag.”

 

Eren’s nose wrinkled up and Levi laughed louder. “I really don’t want to think about the Major right now.”

 

“Trust me,” Levi’s voice dipped to a seductive purr. “You won’t be thinking about Hanji once I get started.” Levi smirked and peeled Eren’s shirt up and over his head, leaving his brown hair dishevelled. He allowed Eren to tug off his own shirt in return, and then Levi focused on dragging Eren’s pants and underwear down and off entirely, depositing them on the floor. “You look good,” Levi praised.

 

Eren blushed and grinned. “You’d look even better if you got rid of those pants.”

 

Levi shook his head but did as Eren suggested, undoing his pants slowly enough to make a show of it. “So impatient,” Levi chided as he swayed his hips right out of his pants. Eren’s eyes were noticeably darker and Levi was finding himself quite addicted to affecting Eren in this way. He took a few extra seconds to work out of his pants and underwear before folding them and setting them on the floor beside Eren’s pile.

 

“For someone who was so difficult to convince, you sure do get into teasing,” Eren said, a slight warning in his tone.

 

Levi smirked. “Maybe I just want to hear you beg.”

 

“ _Please_.” The plea spilled from Eren’s lips instantly, as though Eren had already barely been holding it back. Eren’s hips rose off the bed to rock against the air, his cock half hard and curling up against his stomach. “ _Please_ , Levi.”

 

Levi growled and held Eren’s hips down with his hands. “Eager much?”

 

“Could you really not tell?” Eren laughed, though it was a breathless sound. “Could you not tell how badly I wanted you to touch me over the last few years? How I wanted to lay myself out like this and have you look at me like _that_?”

 

Levi was done wondering what he had done to earn such affection and attraction from Eren. He was finished worrying about what others might think, and wondering how his feelings for Eren had grown so strong despite Levi fighting them. They shared these feelings and Levi was going to enjoy making Eren his. He released Eren’s hips and crawled further up Eren’s body. Levi slipped one hand into Eren’s hair, pulling his head back gently as Levi caught Eren’s lips.

 

Despite the fact that they were both naked and hard, cocks pressed together where Levi was resting his body against Eren, the kiss was slow and sweet. Eren was still new to this and Levi was happy to teach Eren the pace, to kiss him softly until Eren understand the angles and the rhythm and started to kiss him back with more skill. Eren’s palms held Levi’s shoulder blades to keep him close but his desperation had faded now that he knew Levi wasn’t going to withdraw.

 

Once their kiss turned natural, Levi brushed his tongue along Eren’s bottom lip. Eren moaned and parted his lips, offering Levi entrance into his mouth. Levi swept his tongue along the roof of Eren’s mouth and explored, enjoying the easy sway of their hips as they kissed. At one point Levi felt Eren hesitantly mimic Levi’s silent request for entrance by licking Levi’s lip, and Levi parted his lips to allow Eren entrance in return.

 

Levi could feel his urge to dominate boiling below the surface as his body swelled with heat and need. He suspected that Eren would enjoy that sort of dynamic but for now he kept himself under control. The way he wanted to pound Eren’s ass into the mattress would not work for a virgin. That would have to come later, though it had Levi moaning into Eren’s mouth at the mental images.

 

Kissing Eren was wonderful, but eventually they were both too worked up to truly enjoy it. Levi separated their lips and wiped away the string of saliva linking them before reaching for the lube. “You might change your mind about this once you feel what it’s like. It feels weird at first.”

 

“I’ll be fine as long as it’s you,” Eren said confidently. His whole body was on display and for the most part he did look genuinely relaxed. Levi took a moment to let his eyes roam, taking in the hickeys he had left littering Eren’s skin the day before. They had barely begun to fade; perhaps Levi had been a little overzealous. Although Levi wanted to add more hickeys to the collection, he knew he had to let the marks fade before Eren returned to the communal showers and barracks.

 

Levi continued his lecture while he grabbed the lube and coated two fingers. “It may feel uncomfortable but it shouldn’t hurt so tell me if it does. I’ll go slow.”

 

“I don’t want you to go slow,” Eren whined.

 

Levi huffed in irritation. “I’ll go fast once you’re prepared, _not_ before. Just promise me you’ll say something if it hurts.”

 

It seemed that Eren could read the seriousness on Levi’s face because he nodded. “I promise. But seriously, I trust you.”

 

Feeling a bit greedy, Levi leaned down to suck a dark mark on the inside of Eren’s thigh. Already his body was trembling, betraying his confident words. Levi pried apart Eren’s legs further and knelt between them, circling one lubed finger around Eren’s puckered entrance. “I know it’s stupid to say because you’re shit scared – even if you won’t admit it,” he talked over Eren. “But try to relax and remember to breathe.”

 

Eren nodded again, though he said nothing. His eyes were large as he looked down the length of his prone body, watching Levi’s hand where it hovered between his legs. When there was enough lube spread around Levi edged his first finger inside Eren. Levi didn’t bother stifling his groan when he felt how tight and hot Eren’s body was, especially with Eren clenching experimentally around him as he got used to the intrusion.

 

Levi was in to his first knuckle and stopped. Eren’s head had been on the pillow as he stared up at the ceiling, but immediately his head shot up. “Why are you stopping?”

 

“ _Patience_ , Eren. Fucking hell, just let yourself adjust,” Levi said. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

 

“You’re not hurting me,” Eren said. “It feels really, _really_ good. I want more.”

 

Levi was a bit surprised but figured Eren had to be telling the truth with the way his cock was twitching, the vein on the underside of his length pulsing with desire. Levi knew that he would still have to be careful with more fingers once he started to stretch Eren’s hole, but if Eren was enjoying the sensation of Levi’s finger inside him then he wasn’t going to complain. Curiously Levi shoved his finger a bit forcefully the rest of the way into Eren’s body to his second knuckle. Judging by Eren’s gasp and then loud moan, Eren would enjoy Levi’s dominant side.

 

The sounds of Eren’s pleasure had gone straight to Levi’s cock and he reached his free hand down to squeeze his shaft once, taking the edge off his arousal. Eren’s green eyes had darkened further as they watched Levi’s two hands move, already rocking his body down for more. Levi forced himself to let go of his own cock to avoid coming too quickly and refocused on working Eren open.

 

He moved his finger in and out a few times slowly, petting Eren’s inner walls with the pad of his finger. Since Eren didn’t seem to be in any discomfort besides his need to come, Levi didn’t wait long before nudging the tip of his second finger against Eren’s ass. Levi wiggled his second finger in just the depth of his fingernail and then paused when Eren gave a hiss of discomfort. “Okay this is a bit tight,” Eren said.

 

“Just breathe and relax,” Levi said, drawing distracting circles on Eren’s thigh with his free hand as he slowly sunk his second finger into his first knuckle. Eren was whining louder and subtly trying to shift away, his body uncomfortably tight around the intrusion. A little concerned now, Levi moved his hand from Eren’s thigh to his cock, stroking him with just enough demand to catch Eren’s attention and draw it away. “Breathe,” Levi ordered again, and Eren did.

 

His chest rose and fell and Eren licked his lips. “Levi...”

 

“It’s okay,” he reassured Eren. “It’s always worst the first time. You’re fine.”

 

Eren brushed a few stray tears from where they had caught on his lashes. Levi was halfway to withdrawing his fingers entirely and crawling back up Eren’s body to kiss him and ensure he was alright when Eren smiled and relaxed fully around Levi’s fingers. “I’m fine,” Eren echoed. “I’m _more_ than fine. We’re finally...”

 

Eren didn’t complete his thought aloud but the look of contentment on his face was enough to clue Levi into his inner thoughts. Levi smiled affectionately and kissed Eren’s hip before taking advantage of Eren’s relaxed body to work his second finger in all the way beside his first. Eren groaned but this noise was deeper, less pained and more pleased. Levi stayed still for a moment to let Eren’s body adjust and then slowly scissored his fingers apart. Eren was still very tight but after relaxing, his body was allowing Levi to open him wider.

 

“Can you do three?” Levi asked as he began pumping his two fingers in and out, enjoying the slick sound of lube as a dizzying wave of lust overtook him.

 

By now Eren was flushed and panting, but he nodded all the same. “Yeah, I think I’m ready.” Levi withdrew his fingers and got more lube, coating three fingers this time. He buried two fingers back inside Eren quickly, who took him easily. Again Levi thrust his fingers in and out in a slow, steady rhythm for a few moments and then reached for Eren’s cock again. Levi was planning to stroke him through the pain again but Eren swatted his hand away. “Don’t touch me or I’ll come.”

 

“Isn’t that the point?”

 

Eren stuck his bottom lip out. “No. I want to come with you inside me. But I’m so turned on already. You can’t touch me.”

 

Levi withdrew his hand at the request and returned his attention to his fingers. He had already gotten the tip of his third finger worked in while Eren was talking, but he knew from experience that the third finger could hurt. Levi pressed against Eren’s hole so lightly that his third finger only slipped further in when Eren exhaled and relaxed. Levi didn’t mind entering inch by inch, enjoying the view Eren provided and the sounds he made while his cock dribbled precome on the taut skin of his stomach.

 

When he was certain that Eren was fully adjusted to the width of his three fingers, Levi pushed in a tiny bit further and curled his fingers. He knew he had found his target when Eren jolted under him and cried out, eyes gone wide. Levi smiled, knowing that the pleasure Eren was feeling was like sparks of pure heat. He repeated the motion and Eren bucked up on instinct, grinding his prostate harder against Levi’s waiting fingers.

 

“Levi, fuck, I—I can’t last like this, _please_ ,” Eren threw an arm over his face, whining with each exhale.

 

It was so tempting for Levi to push forward, to work Eren on his fingers and milk him dry. But the thought of waiting for Eren to recover and get hard again seemed like too much time for Levi to wait for his own completion. Levi wanted Eren to come on his cock as much as Eren did. So Levi withdrew and left Eren slumped on the bed, trying to catch his breath while Levi coated his own length with lube. It was nearly impossible to avoid rocking his cock into his fist, desperate for his own release. His own motivator to hold off was the sight of Eren splayed out and moaning on the bed.

 

“Beg for me again,” Levi ordered as he shuffled closer and lined the head of his cock up with Eren’s slicked hole. “I want to hear you.”

 

“ _Levi_ ,” Eren choked on his name. “Fuck I want you inside me, _please_. I need it. I’ve gotten off thinking about this for so long. Please fuck me.”

 

“Fuck, Eren. Sometimes I don’t mind your loud mouth,” Levi said, losing his own breath at the open desire Eren was showing him. Not needing any further encouragement, Levi pushed his cock slowly but steadily inside Eren. There was a bit of resistance at Eren’s entrance but as soon as Levi worked past the tight ring of muscles, he filled Eren’s hole with an easy glide. Immediately Levi moaned openly as Eren’s body spread around him and clenched down.

 

Eren’s whines were getting louder and needier as he gripped the bed sheets and twisted them between his fingers. “Levi,” Eren whimpered. “I don’t think I can last long.”

 

Levi held his weight up on one hand and leaned over Eren, using his free hand to brush sweaty strands of hair from Eren’s forehead. “It’s been a long time since I’ve been inside someone so I won’t last long either. Just enjoy it. This won’t be our only time.”

 

Eren smiled at that, though he also looked a bit curious. “If you bottomed before, does that mean I can top you?”

 

“How about you focus on learning the basics first,” Levi chuckled under his breath as he returned to kneeling. “You need to learn to _take_ before you can _give_.” He punctuated _take_ and _give_ with two demanding thrusts of his hips, aiming for Eren’s prostate again. He found it on the second thrust and purred when Eren’s body clenched and relaxed around him at the waves of pleasure coursing along Eren’s spine. Levi wasn’t opposed to the idea of Eren topping _eventually_ , but Eren would probably have to fight Levi to get him to give up this position of dominating Eren and wringing beautiful sounds from his mouth.

 

“Can’t say I mind this either,” Eren tried to say though it was clear that he was struggling to put together coherent sentences. “Just don’t fucking stop.”

 

“Didn’t plan on it,” Levi said and gripped Eren’s hips tightly as he thrust again. “Do you want it hard?”

 

Eren bit his bottom lip and whimpered when Levi demonstrated with a harsher thrust against Eren’s prostate. “ _Yes_. Absolutely yes.”

 

Levi adopted a rhythm that was slow but a bit rough, dragging his cock out slowly just to get Eren whining and begging only to thrust in hard enough to knock the air from Eren’s lungs. Eren bent his knees at Levi’s sides and dug his heels into the mattress, bowing his spine to search for more. The sight of him had Levi’s cock pulsing with warning. Fuck, he wanted their first coupling to last forever but there was no way in hell either of them would last at the rate they were going. Levi might have to rethink his plan to minimize contact back at HQ.

 

Levi slid his hands from Eren’s hips to cradle his back, one palm supporting Eren’s lower back and the other near the middle of his spine. Eren took advantage of the extra support to angle his body up further until his back and ass were fully off the mattress. Levi held him close and groaned Eren’s name, loving how the new angle opened Eren up further and made it easier to thrust against his prostate. Levi’s heart was pounding in his ears and his lungs were burning but there would be no stopping him with the sensation of his orgasm burning in his belly.

 

Eren lifted a hand to cover his mouth, stifling his noises. Levi couldn’t move his hands unless he was willing to drop Eren, which he wasn’t, so he growled warningly. “I thought you said you were going to scream my name.”

 

Eren’s eyes widened and the flush that had already overtaken his face was beginning to creep down his neck. “Levi...” Eren whined.

 

Levi thrust in again, _harder_ , nails marking Eren’s back. “Louder.”

 

“Levi!” Eren gasped, his fingers returning to twisting in the bed sheets for some sort of purchase.

 

He could feel the way Eren was tightening around him at the same time as he could see the precome pooling in Eren’s navel due to the angle of his body. Eren was teetering on the edge of climax and Levi wasn’t far behind. He was determined for both of them to go careening over the edge together. “ _Louder_ , Eren,” Levi ordered just because he could.

 

Instead of his name, Levi received a desperate shout as Eren’s lips parted. His body bucked violently and twisted as he came, Eren’s seed spilling across his stomach and chest. Levi struggled to hold Eren’s body up as he thrust greedily into that tight heat. He was so close, _fuck_ he was so close, he just needed... “ _Levi_ ,” Eren whispered, and that weak, fucked out whisper of his name was enough to have Levi’s entire body tightening as he filled Eren’s ass with his come.

 

Levi kept Eren aloft as his hips continued to twitch forward with the beat of his flying pulse. Eren became a dead weight in his arms when his body was spent and Levi finally lowered him to the mattress. He remained buried deep inside Eren’s body though, refusing to let them separate. Levi heard static in his ears as he panted, not even bothering to scrabble for composure since he knew Eren didn’t care.

 

“ _Levi_ ,” Eren breathed and held his hands out, reaching lazily and beckoning Levi forward.

 

Still refusing to withdraw, Levi carefully leaned forward until Eren’s arms could encircle him. Levi wasn’t sure what he had been expecting, but the warm, tight hug Eren offered was a pleasant surprise and Levi relaxed into the embrace. They remained like that until the air in the room chilled their sweaty skin, both of them shivering from cold and exhaustion. Levi was soft by now and he only had to sit back on his heels for his cock to withdraw, watching his come trickle from Eren’s hole.

 

“Stay there,” Levi said and stood on shaky legs, grabbing a cloth and wetting it in his private bathroom. He mopped up the mess between Eren’s legs gently, noting how red Eren’s hole looked. “How are you feeling?”

 

Eren grumbled nonsensically for a moment, sounding dangerously close to falling asleep. “’M good.”

 

“Are you sore?” Levi prompted, openly concerned. He shouldn’t have gone so hard on a virgin.

 

“A little, yeah,” Eren stretched carefully and blinked blurry eyes down at Levi. “Doesn’t compare to how the rest of me feels. I hope you don’t mind cuddling.”

 

“I don’t,” Levi said. “But we need to change the blankets first. And you could use a shower.”

 

“Only if you shower too,” Eren insisted, eyes warm as they continued to watch Levi.

 

Knowing there wasn’t a point in arguing, and that he would benefit from a shower as well, Levi stood from the bed. “Get your ass in here then,” he said as he walked into the bathroom, dumping the dirty cloth in the hamper. Eren stumbled in behind him, legs a little bowed but his face still the epitome of tired bliss. Levi ushered Eren into the shower and stepped in after him, the hot water cascading over both of them to draw out twin sighs of contentment.

 

Eren was half asleep leaning against the tiled wall so Levi just took the lead and scrubbed Eren clean. He spent extra care cleaning the grooves on Eren’s back where Levi’s nails had dug in, and when between Eren’s legs. Once he was satisfied with Eren’s level of cleanliness Levi rinsed his hands and began cleaning his own body. From where he was standing he could see that Eren was half hard again as he leaned against the tile and watched Levi’s hands travel over his body. “Down boy,” Levi teased.

 

Eren grunted and yawned as he continued to watch Levi. “’M too tired anyway. Maybe later.”

 

“Ever the optimist,” Levi said. He finished his own cleaning and turned off the water, grabbing two towels and handing one to Eren. “Dry yourself off. I’m going to change the sheets quickly.”

 

“You have a change of sheets?” Eren’s eyes glinted. “Were you planning this?”

 

Levi rolled his eyes. “Don’t flatter yourself. I always demand that they prepare an extra set of sheets for when I’m staying at a safe house.”  


“ _Sure_ ,” Eren said and then chuckled as he started to dry himself off as ordered.

 

Levi stepped out of the shower and dried off quickly before stepping back into the room. It was an easy tug and drag to get the original sheets off the bed; Eren had practically unmade the bed already with his clutching fingers. Levi left them in a pile in the corner and put the new sheets on the bed. He finished just in time for Eren to emerge from the bathroom and crawl into bed. Levi didn’t miss Eren’s wince when he bent over. “In pain?”

 

“A bit,” Eren sounded a bit strained. “Worth it though,” he added as he lowered himself down on the mattress and spread out. He must’ve seen Levi’s expression because he held a hand out to him. “I promise I’m fine, and I wanted it. Just come to bed.”

 

Levi sighed and lay down beside Eren, pulling the blankets up around them and then pulling Eren’s body carefully against his own. He was frustrated at himself for his impatience and greediness. Just because Eren had asked for it didn’t mean Levi should’ve given in; Levi should’ve known better. “I’ll go easier on you next time.”

 

Eren grumbled as if he was planning to argue, but then he gave in and relaxed more against Levi. “As long as there’s a next time you can do anything to me.”

 

“Keep that purr out of your voice,” Levi said. “I’m not jerking you off if you get yourself hard again.”

 

“Nah, too tired,” Eren yawned. Slowly Eren rolled over until his body was pressed against Levi’s side. Eren’s arm wound around Levi’s body and his head rested on Levi’s chest. “I think I’m too sore to ride the horse back to HQ tomorrow though. We should stay another day.”

 

“Sneaky little shit,” Levi accused without malice. He wasn’t opposed to enjoying one more day with Eren alone before they returned to being surrounded by others though, so he didn’t argue.

 

“You love it,” Eren mumbled, his breath evening out.

 

Levi swallowed. “Yeah, I do,” he whispered back. His response was a quiet snore but Levi couldn’t bother minding.


	21. Chapter 21

“Levi, come in,” Erwin’s voice was welcoming as Levi stepped into the room. Levi studied Erwin’s room quickly, becoming less and less surprised each time he found Mike there, in Levi’s old spot on the couch and shuffling through reports. There was a part of Levi that was hurt and bitter that Mike seemed so determined to replace him, and that Erwin was letting him. However, Levi had to remind himself that he was the one to break off things with Erwin. And although it hurt to be replaced, Levi was glad to see Erwin less sad than he had been when they broke up. After everything Erwin had done to help Levi over the years, Levi only wanted to see the man happy.

 

“You called?” Levi raised an eyebrow and walked over to the desk where Erwin was sitting, surrounded by mountains of paperwork. Covering the majority of the desk was a large map with little coloured flags set in specific places. “Something happening?”

 

“Yes on both counts,” Erwin’s eyes remained on the folder he was looking through for another minute before finally glancing up. “How are you?”

 

Levi was surprised by the question, and the genuine concern in Erwin’s eyes. He knew Erwin still cared about him, the way Levi would always care about Erwin in return. But even when they had been together, Erwin often forgot to ask Levi those sorts of questions when there were other strategic problems to deal with. “Fine,” Levi said, thinking back. Since returning from the Shiganshina District two months ago, things had begun to fall into place. Eren and Levi had been maintaining a reasonable distance for the most part but looked forward to each weekend when Levi invited Eren to share his bed. “Good actually.” He took in the shadows under Erwin’s eyes. “What about you? You look tired.”

 

“I am tired,” Erwin admitted and rubbed his eyes. “The Military Police are edging closer. I don’t think there’s any hope of avoiding an all-out battle at this point, and I think it’s coming soon.”

 

“You’ve been thinking that for a while now though,” Levi said, leaning against the edge of Erwin’s desk. He was aware of Mike listening in but spoke openly; Levi was still Erwin’s closest friend and ally despite their split as partners.

 

“This is different,” Erwin told him. “The King has always been lazy and blind to the kingdom around him. The Military Police have always taken advantage of this to be lax and do what they please. Now they have intentions that are more malicious. Nile is getting cocky and aggressive. I fear he will soon act with rash violence.”

 

“What does he think he’ll accomplish by acting like that?” Levi asked. “He might even scare away some Military Police members who are already iffy on their behaviour.”

 

“I don’t know, but I worry,” Erwin said.

 

Levi considered reaching forward to rest a hand on Erwin’s arm but held back. “You always worry,” he reminded Erwin instead.

 

Erwin cracked a tiny smile at that. It didn’t last long though. “Would you humour me, Rivaille?” Erwin rested his heavy gaze on Levi. “Would you take your group to Borna and keep an eye out for any threats? It’s the closest Military Police base to our headquarters and I’m uneasy about their growing numbers and activity.”

 

Levi’s eyes widened slightly. “The trainees are set to graduate in a few weeks. I thought the order was to have all groups back here.”

 

“I know, but graduation can be postponed if necessary. You won’t even need to stay long term,” Erwin explained. “I have a group coming in from the east but it’ll take them at least a week to get there. The people I have positioned in Borna already are good, but there aren’t enough of them to do a proper sweep every day while keeping the safe house guarded.”

 

“I can get my group ready and leave after lunch,” Levi said. The request was still unexpected but he had no reason to fight it. “I'll keep you posted on the state of the city daily.”

 

Erwin’s shoulders drooped as he finally relaxed slightly. “Thank you. As soon as the other group arrives you can come back to HQ. I was going to give the training groups assigned cities to be posted in once they graduate, but now I’m just going to keep them close. I have a feeling we’ll need our fighters close at hand.”

 

Levi shrugged. This was Erwin’s forte, not his. “You’d know better than me. I’ll go give my group a debriefing now.”

 

“Levi,” Erwin called after him, stilling Levi by the door to look over his shoulder. “Be safe.”

 

He sent Erwin a small smile. “I always am.” Erwin’s returning smile was warm, but his eyes were troubled with thoughts far bigger than the two of them.

 

Levi collected his group from one of the classrooms where Hanji was giving a lecture on the landscape of the cities beyond what the trainees had ever seen. Since some of the groups might be posted further away or in areas they had never been before, it was important for them to orient themselves, know what plants were edible versus poisonous and so on.

 

Everyone seemed relieved to be saved from the lecture as they followed Levi down the hall and into the barracks which were currently empty. That didn’t last long when Levi barked for them to shut up and pay attention. Levi looked between them one by one and didn’t allow his eyes to linger for too long on Eren. He had seen them all grow from kids into adults. Levi had even noticed changes in the trio from beyond the walls; Bertholdt, Reiner and Annie, despite their initial distrust, had adopted the Survey Corps as their extended family.

 

Levi knew this was what they had been training for over the last four years. And he knew, even if no one was allowed to openly say so, that Levi’s group was among the best. But that didn’t mean he didn’t feel nervous at the thought of taking these young faces into true danger. “The Commander has given us a temporarily assignment. We’ll be watching over Borna until a backup team arrives; bring over a week’s worth of clothes to be safe. Understand that this is no longer training. This is a serious mission with real threats from the growing Military Police.” Levi’s eyes hesitated on Eren. “You need to be safe, and you need to be smart.”

 

“When do we leave?” Mikasa asked.

 

“Now, effectively,” Levi said. “Get packed and then get your horses ready. We’re eating lunch and then riding out.”

 

“So quickly?” Armin spoke the group’s surprise.

 

Levi nodded. “The Military Police are getting ballsy and we’re going to remind them why they need to back off. When we get there I’ll be splitting you up into pairs and we’ll be doing rotating sweeps of the city to keep an eye on any threatening activity. For now, hurry your asses up and get packed.”

 

Eren caught Levi’s eye when he turned to head back out into the hall. Levi paused and let Eren approach, the other trainees scattering to their respective bunks to pack. “Are you okay?” Eren asked under his breath.

 

Levi was confused by the question. “Of course.”

 

Eren was studying Levi’s face in a way Levi wouldn’t let anyone else. “You’re tense. You’re _worried_.”

 

Levi wanted to hold Eren’s waist, keep him close. “Just waiting to see how you brats handle yourselves on a real assignment.”

 

Eren smiled knowingly. He understood that Levi wasn’t being completely open about his concerns. “We’ll be fine,” Eren said. “ _I’ll_ be fine.”

 

“You better be,” Levi huffed. “Now hurry up and pack,” he ordered, grabbing Eren’s arm and spinning him back towards the beds as an excuse to touch him briefly. Levi squeezed Eren’s arm and then nudged him forward, Levi’s hand falling back to his side slowly as he watched Eren to ensure he did as he was told before heading back out into the hallway to do his own packing.

 

#

 

Levi’s rank made him the commanding officer at the safe house in Borna when they arrived. Much to Levi’s displeasure, this meant that he was in charge of reviewing reports brought in from all of the guard shifts and the pairs of Survey Corps members performing sweeps of the city. Levi had been expecting to be out in the city with his Gear, overlooking his trainees. He was pissed off at being stuck inside being, in his mind, useless.

 

They had been posted in Borna for a little over a week. The group coming in from the east to relieve them had been slowed down by a small, extremely aggressive Military Police group who decided they’d rather start a fight than let the Survey Corps over one of the walls. When Levi had received the report from Yalen, the woman in charge of that Survey Corps group, he was shocked to hear about the Military Police’s behaviour. They had been reckless and violent, fighting until their whole group was eradicated – but taking two Survey Corps members and three innocent civilians along with them. As Levi wrote his own report to pass along the information to Erwin, he wondered if this was a renegade Military Police group or if the Military Police had abandoned their morals entirely.

 

Levi checked his clock to see that it was now early afternoon. Each minute that ticked by felt deafening in Levi’s ear as he strained his hearing for a different sound – the sound of feet approaching his door. Eren and Marco had been paired up and given one of the morning shifts for watching the city. Although Levi had ordered all of his trainees to take different routes each day during their sweep and not fall into a routine, Eren’s routine was easy to follow when he returned to the safe house.

 

It was the same each day. Eren and Marco, along with the other morning pairs – Mikasa and Jean, and Armin and Annie – would join Levi for an early breakfast in the dining room. Eren would always inevitably seem to get the seat directly beside Levi or, if there was no other option, directly across the table. Eren’s hand would either brush Levi’s hand _accidentally_ as he reached for the jam, or his foot would nudge Levi’s under the table.

 

Then they would go and Levi would condemn himself to reading and writing reports in his room. He would forget about lunch in his focus and in the early afternoon Levi would hear footsteps approach. Eren would never knock; he would just barge in with two plates of food from the kitchen. The plates would be set down and the door’s lock would click shut, and by that point Levi had to be moving towards the bed unless he wanted Eren to carry him – which Levi had discovered, to his horror, Eren was capable of doing.

 

Levi had told Eren that they wouldn’t be having sex while on assignment; there was no way he was putting Eren’s or Marco’s safety at risk just because Eren was sore from getting a good fucking. That restriction didn’t seem to deter Eren. Levi quickly found himself left breathless daily when Eren kissed him deeply and demandingly, crowding into Levi’s personal space. And they always found release, usually with pants hurriedly pulled down and frantic hands or mouths working as they stifled moans of pleasure.

 

It wasn’t that Levi needed release daily; in fact, he found it a little exhausting keeping up with Eren’s libido. But Eren was almost fifteen minutes late now and the knots in Levi’s stomach were beginning to tighten. He didn’t need lunch brought to him. He didn’t need Eren’s hands and lips on him. Levi just needed to _see_ Eren and know that he was okay.

 

Levi tapped an impatient finger against the desk and tried to force himself to keep working. He only managed another few minutes before he was standing in a rush and storming down the hallway. If he found Eren in the dining room laughing away with his friends, Levi was going to wring his neck. He walked in quickly and startled everyone inside, who all looked at him quickly. It took a mere instant for Levi to realize that something wasn’t right.

 

“Where are they?” he demanded. His entire training group was here, crowded in a circle. Everyone except Eren and Marco.

 

“We haven’t seen them or heard from them,” Armin said quickly.

 

Jean was pacing back and forth anxiously, eyes flicking to the door that remained closed. “I saw them head to the north quarter early in the morning,” Mikasa added. “But they haven’t come back for lunch.”

 

“Captain!” Levi spun on his heel when the door slammed open and was severely disappointed when he saw that it was just a member of the guard and not his trainees. The man was panting as he stumbled over his words. “We just got news from an informer on the ground. The Military Police captured two of our own near the Military Police’s HQ. I think they were from your training group, sir.”

 

“When?” Levi barked.

 

The man jumped and stuttered again. “I-in the morning, sir. Early.”

 

Levi ground his teeth together as rage boiled up inside him, fuelled by a sickening fear cutting into his heart. “So why the fuck am I only hearing about this now?”

 

“She only came forward now, Captain,” the guardsman said. “She’s a merchant in the market closest to the Military Police buildings.”

 

“Bullshit,” Levi shook his head. “Cut her loose; she’s working for them now. She was told to inform us now. They want me to come after them.”

 

“What are we going to do?” Jean snapped, finally pausing in his pacing.

 

Levi met his gaze across the room. “I’m going after them, dipshit. The Military Police have made a _grave_ miscalculation and they’ll pay for it today.”

 

“I’m coming too,” Jean said immediately.

 

“Me too,” Mikasa added.

 

“And me!” everyone else joined in as a chorus.

 

“I’m not leading you into a fucking trap,” Levi cut them all off. “You’re all staying here and someone is sending a message to the Commander about this.”

 

“You can’t stop me,” Jean said darkly.

 

“You can’t stop any of us,” Mikasa used the same tone. “You’re not the only one who cares about them.”

 

Levi looked at each member of his group in turn. Jean, Levi could understand for Marco. Armin and Mikasa also made sense for Eren. But Connie, Sasha, Christa, Ymir, Annie, Bertholdt and Reiner all had looks of determination on their face as well. The group really had become a family, bound together by experience and friendship. The effort it would take to subdue them all and force them to remain behind wasn’t worth it.

 

Levi huffed. “Any of you not in Gear, suit up now. We’re leaving in five minutes. Meet in the lobby.” He turned to the guardsman. “Get a report sent to the Commander within ten minutes. Tell him the situation and...” Erwin was not going to be happy. “Tell him that we’ve already gone ahead.”

 

“Sir,” the man nodded and rushed away.

 

Levi trusted him to get the job done and didn’t have the time to ensure he did. Levi ran up the stairs two at a time and rushed into his Gear, pulling the straps tight around his body and slipping into his boots and coat. The fear and anger inside him was near-blinding but Levi reminded himself that he was leading a group and had to avoid further captures or – Levi swallowed – casualties.

 

Everyone was already waiting for him when he arrived in the lobby. Air canisters were handed out, hooks and swords were checked, and then Levi called for their attention. “Be smart out there, but be ruthless. Don’t fight on your own, stick together. Protect each other. None of you are allowed to die today, got it?”

 

Everyone gave a chanting, “ _Sir, yes sir_!”

 

“Good. We’re heading directly for the Military Police’s HQ. Their dungeons are in the basement so we’ll need to force our way inside the building and down the nearest flight of stairs. We can’t all go down though or we’ll get pinned. Jean and Mikasa, come with me. The rest of you watch our backs. Don’t let a soft heart get you killed,” he met each pair of determined eyes in turn. “Let’s teach them why they don’t fuck with us.”

 

Everyone rushed through the doors and leapt into the air side by side, keeping formation as they crossed over the city rooftops with their Gear. Levi assumed that the Military Police were expecting them to arrive but hoped that they might not be expecting an attack quite this sudden or large, trying to draw in just Levi alone. Levi was proud of his group for facing the danger instead of running away – even though Levi had ordered them to stay behind. But Levi was definitely going to be leading the charge and hopefully take the brunt of the retaliation.

 

They swarmed the Military Police headquarters like a pack of angry hornets, cutting a few initial guards down who were waiting for them before landing on the cobblestone. There were more guards in the air than on the ground and Levi heard a horn being blown; likely a distress signal to call far-spread Military Police members back to base. Levi wasn’t going to waste time waiting for them to arrive and shouldered open the side door he had found with an angry yell.

 

There were four more guards in the main hallway and Levi didn’t hesitate to bury his blades deep in two of their chests, Jean and Mikasa taking out the other two. Now that Levi was here every second felt like too long. He was becoming increasingly aware of the fact that Eren and Marco had been captured for hours; anything could’ve happened in that time. And each wasted second was more time with them left in the hands of the Military Police.

 

Despite his growing desperation, Levi had to slow down as they continued down the hallway. His senses were hyperaware but there was no opposition coming to fight them. Levi could hear more fighting outside and hoped his group was safe, but there was no way the Military Police were cocky enough to assume that Levi wouldn’t get inside the building. There was _no way_ they left all their forces outside...right?

 

This was too easy.

 

“Careful,” he ordered quietly and stepped down the hall, Jean and Mikasa on his heels.

 

It wasn’t far into the building before they found a staircase heading down into the basement. It was mostly dark but Levi could see a few flickering lights near the bottom. His unease was mounting and he fidgeted with the hilts of his swords. Levi considered sending Jean and Mikasa back outside, wondering if they would be safer there and if they’d even go. But before he could open his mouth, a scream of terror and anguish echoed up the stairs.

 

Levi practically flew down the stairs and took in the details of the room quickly. There were multiple cells lining the far wall, though only one was occupied. Marco was chained to the wall, marred with some bruises and light cuts across his chest through the ribbons of his shirt. His face was pale but his eyes were clear and conscious. Marco wasn’t even looking at the arrival of backup, or the man standing directly in front of him winding up for another punch to Marco’s stomach. He was busy yelling at some nameless Military Police who was standing over Eren.

 

And Eren... Oh fuck, Eren. Levi could see that Eren was sprawled across the cold stone ground, his eyes closed and his mouth open with yet another scream. The Military Police man standing over him had a sword buried about half an inch into Eren’s left shoulder, pressing a little deeper and seemingly oblivious to the new arrivals. Eren’s scream was ragged and tore through Levi’s chest, but at least it assured Levi that Eren wasn’t dead, even though Levi didn’t understand why he wasn’t fighting back.

 

There was another collection of Military Police in the area outside the holding cells watching the torture. By the time Levi had turned away from the sight of Eren, their swords were drawn and they were halfway across the room. Levi’s eyes narrowed and he raised his swords but Jean and Mikasa ran past him, Mikasa yelling back over her shoulder. “Save them!”

 

Levi left Jean and Mikasa to fight. Mikasa’s skill rivalled his own at that age and he knew Jean’s anger would fuel his strength and determination. Levi turned his attention to the cell and pulled the door open, storming inside. Marco was closer and his torturer backed away quickly, knowing he was fucked since he had been using his fists and didn’t have any weapon on him. Levi used his momentum to pursue the man and slam him back against the wall, hearing the sickening crack as the man’s head hit stone. The man crumpled to the ground immediately, unconscious.

 

Eren’s torturer had finally awoken from his bloodlust to realize that he was in trouble. He pulled his sword from Eren’s body and raised it to meet Levi. Seeing Eren’s blood coating the first inch and a half of the blade had Levi seeing red. Silent and on light feet Levi dashed forward with both swords raised. With one he knocked the torturer’s sword from his hands, sending it clattering into a corner of the cell, and with the other Levi cut a deep groove across the man’s chest.

 

The Military Police man cried out and stumbled backwards against the steel bars of the cell. Levi pursued him with fury licking at his insides. The man tried to protect himself and received a slash across his forearms for the trouble. By the time he recovered from that Levi was already in his personal space, the tip of his sword cutting through cloth and into the man’s stomach. Levi watched blue eyes widen with fear and pain and Levi abandoned his second sword to use his hand to pin his prey in place. He pushed his sword another half inch into the man’s squirming body.

 

“Beg for your life.”

 

Blue eyes brimmed with tears as the man gave a broken sob. “ _Please_. Fuck, please, I just want to live. _Please_ , I was just following orders. I—fuck, _please_!” he sobbed again when Levi put more weight behind his sword, feeling it cut easily through skin and muscle.

 

“You will die slowly and painfully,” Levi whispered. He was so close to the man now, the hilt of his sword pressed against the man’s convulsing stomach. Levi’s hand was soaked in hot blood and it made him sick but it satisfied a portion of his anger. “You will die for what you did.”

 

The man merely groaned, his knees buckling. Levi watched him reach down and try to pull the sword out with shaking hands, cutting his palms in the process. But already the torturer was losing strength and far too much blood. He couldn’t fight back anymore if he tried. He would die here, with Levi’s furious eyes holding his attention until blue eyes dimmed and finally closed.

 

Levi put a foot against the man’s body and pulled out his sword, letting the dead body fall to the ground after. Then Levi dropped his second sword and wiped his hands clean of blood on his shirt as he rushed to kneel by Eren’s side. At a quick glance Levi didn’t think that the cut in Eren’s shoulder was too serious; it would take a long time to heal but it wouldn’t put Eren’s life at risk. However, Eren was still on the ground and barely moving, and his eyes were out of focus and hazy.

 

“Eren,” Levi shook him carefully, feeling his voice crack with growing panic. “Eren, what’s wrong?”

 

“They poisoned him,” Marco said quickly. “Some sort of extract from the Wandering Vines plant? I don’t know. That’s what they said, I think.”

 

“Fuck.” Levi could feel his throat closing. The Wandering Vines was a type of plant that grew by the northern section of the outer-most wall. It was deadly to both animals and humans if ingested. Initially it caused weakness and confusion, followed by a quickening heartbeat, violent vomiting and debilitating abdominal cramping. If left untreated the person would succumb either to dehydration or to a heart attack within a day or so. “Fuck, fuck, fuck. _Eren_ , look at me! Come on.”

 

Eren blinked blurry eyes open and frowned, trying to focus on Levi. “Le...? I don’t...feel good...” Eren swallowed and panted, looking visibly paler as a sweat broke out across his skin.

 

Levi cupped Eren’s cheek in his palm, pulling his attention back when Eren’s eyes began to drift closed and his head tilted to the side. “You can’t die, Eren,” Levi pleaded. “Come on, you stubborn brat. You can get through this. You’ll be fine.” Levi just had to keep Eren conscious until he got Eren back to the safe house. The healer there would have the right herbs to make an antidote they could give Eren.

 

“Levi...” Eren sighed tiredly. Levi caught Eren’s shaking hand when he tried to reach up, lacing their fingers together. “Don’t cry.”

 

Levi hadn’t realized that he was crying, though he didn’t even bother trying to wipe away the tears when he became aware of them. “You can’t die on me, okay Eren?” Levi whispered. “I love you. I should’ve said it sooner but I fucking love you.”

 

He couldn’t contain his broken sob when Eren smiled up at him warmly. It wasn’t reassuring though; Levi could still feel Eren’s pounding heartbeat through their joined hands. “It’s okay, Levi. I already knew.” Eren’s hand began to slacken in Levi’s grasp and his eyes slid closed. “You know I’ll...always...”

 

“Fuck, no! Eren!” Levi held Eren’s hand tightly against his chest. “Don’t leave me!”

 

The sound of chains jangling caught his attention and Levi looked over to see Jean with a set of keys releasing Marco. The skin around Marco’s wrists was red from being bound but both of them were watching Levi and Eren. The scuff of a shoe had Levi looking the other way, where he saw Mikasa watching them through the cell bars. There was no other sign of movement in the basement, the others dealt with.

 

“Get him back to the safe house. Jean and I can take care of Marco,” Mikasa offered. Levi could see the fear in her eyes that he felt in his own chest.

 

“Marco’s torturer,” Levi cleared his throat and brushed away his tears absent-mindedly. “We need to question him, find out who orchestrated this.”

 

“Nile organized this plan,” a new voice joined them and Levi moved in a flash. He picked up his swords from the ground and stood between Pixis and Eren’s prone form. “Relax, Captain,” Pixis held up both hands, showing that they were empty of weapons. “I am surrendering.”

 

“Bullshit,” Levi watched him carefully for any sudden movement. “You and Nile have been close for years.”

 

“Very true,” Pixis admitted. “But this...” his eyes were sad as he looked from Marco to Eren. “This crosses every line. I ordered an end to the battle outside. Your group is safe and waiting for you outside.”

 

“Where’s Nile?” Levi demanded.

 

“Long gone, I’m sure,” Pixis grimaced. “Though I’m sure he can never travel far enough to escape your wrath for taking away your...”

 

“He’s not dead!” _Yet_. Eren was passed out but his heart had still been stuttering only moments prior when Levi had been touching him. However, it wouldn’t take long for the convulsions and vomiting to start. Levi had to get Eren back _now_. “What do you want?” he asked Pixis suspiciously, ready to bring this conversation to an end one way or another.

 

“I’m surrendering,” Pixis said again. “To be honest, I want to have a discussion with Commander Erwin and I know there’s no way I’ll get close other than if my hands are bound.”

 

Unwilling to waste more time, Levi grabbed the shackles that had bound Marco from the ground and walked out of the cell. “Hands out, old man.” Levi waited for an attack, expected it, but the shackles clamped and locked around Pixis’ wrists decisively without any interruption. “Mikasa, can you get him back to the safe house? If he’s telling the truth about stopping the fight, the rest of the group can go with you for added security.”

 

“We’ll manage, Captain,” she said. Her worried eyes returned to Eren. “You need to get going.”

 

Levi wasn’t going to argue with her. He sheathed his swords and ran back into the cell, lifting Eren carefully into his arms. Without Levi’s consent, he felt a few more tears catch in his eyelashes. Many times over the last ten years Levi had held Eren in his arms. He had carried Eren away from his dead mother, had let Eren sleep in his lap to fend off nightmares, and had recently spooned Eren as they slept. Eren was certainly heavier than he was as a child with all the muscle he had put on over the years, but Eren was still that same boy – and now young man – who had stolen his heart and given Levi new purpose.

 

And now he was...

 

 _No_. He wasn’t dead yet.

 

“Get back alive,” he told Mikasa, Jean and Marco as he ran out of the cell and up the stairs as quickly as he could manage while keeping Eren safe in his arms. It was a balance between rushing and ensuring that Eren wasn’t injured further as Levi kicked and shouldered open doors until he was outside. There he found the rest of his group waiting for him, some of them with deep bruising and cuts but everyone alive and conscious.

 

They all looked up as one, their eyes widening when they saw him carrying Eren. “Captain, Pixis called off the attack,” Connie said.

 

Armin had lost all colour from his face. “Is Eren...?”

 

“Poisoned,” Levi answered quickly. “I’m taking him back for the antidote. The others will be up shortly. Head back to the safe house as a group, understand?”

 

Everyone nodded and Levi didn’t linger any longer. He activated his Gear and flew into the sky, crossing the rooftops with as much speed as he dared. They were halfway back when Eren groaned in Levi’s ear and tensed up. “Fuck...” Eren moaned.

 

Levi barely landed in time to set Eren down on the ground before he puked up whatever was left in his stomach. As soon as Eren seemed finished Levi used his sword to cut off a portion of his shirt and wiped Eren’s mouth clean. Eren’s skin was on fire and his eyes were glassy, unseeing. “I’m here, Eren. I’m going to get you healed.”

 

“It hurts, Levi,” Eren sobbed and clutched an arm tightly against his stomach. “It hurts.”

 

“I know,” Levi pushed Eren’s sweaty hair away from his forehead. “Do you think you’re going to vomit again?”

 

Pained tears were trickling down Eren’s cheeks as he nodded, groaning again. Levi could hear his gag reflex kick in and stepped back just in time to avoid Eren throwing up on his boots. Levi waited until Eren finished again and he no longer had anything left in his stomach to vomit. He wiped Eren’s mouth with the cloth again and then threw it away. He couldn’t wait any longer. At this stage Eren would just keep vomiting and dry heaving. They didn’t have any time left to waste. “Levi...” Eren whined when Levi hoisted Eren back into his arms.

 

“Puke on me if you need to,” Levi said. “I’ll manage.”

 

They took off again into the air, Levi ignoring any looks or shouts from the ground. The unsteady weave of flying with the Gear didn’t help Eren’s stomach and he gagged again, though his stomach was empty so he only dry heaved over Levi’s shoulder. There was probably some spit and bile on Levi’s cloak but he ignored it; Eren was a lot more precious than a cloak.

 

Eren was nearly unconscious again when they landed, already worn out from the vomiting. Levi got the main door of the safe house open and raced down the hall towards where the healer, Vinelli, kept her office. She jumped when he barged in but contained her scolding when she saw Eren in Levi’s arms. “Set him on the bed,” Vinelli pointed him to one of the beds in the room. “Tell me what happened.”

 

"He was poisoned with an extract from the Wandering Vines plant," Levi said as he set Eren carefully on the bed.

 

"On his side," Vinelli chided him and joined Levi in rolling Eren over onto his side. "We don't want him choking on the vomit. How long ago was he poisoned?"

 

"I don't know." Levi's thoughts were racing but it was a muddled mess. Levi began to pace anxiously. Panic nipped at his heels as he tried to focus on what he _did_ know, what he could do to help Eren survive this. "He was captured a few hours ago, so early morning at the longest." Vinelli tutted as she held a hand against Eren's forehead, feeling his fever before rushing over to one of the cabinets filled with jars of herbs and medicines. "Please tell me you can make the antidote."

 

"I can," she promised. "But it takes time. At least an hour." As she spoke, Vinelli was setting multiple jars on her desk and then turned to coax the dying fire in the hearth back to life. "People can usually survive at least a day without being treated so he won't die in the time it takes to make the antidote. But it won't be pleasant for him."

 

Levi was painfully aware of Eren's shallow, ragged breathing beside him on the bed. "What can I do?"

 

Vinelli glanced back at him in surprise and, after she considered him briefly, she answered. "Keep him warm. He has a fever now but the chills will set in soon. And try to get water into him if you can. He'll be in pain but it's better if he stays conscious."

 

Levi set to work without needing further instructions. He grabbed a bucket from the supply cupboard and set it at the edge of the bed. Then he collected one of the glasses by the room's sink and filled it up with water. Levi set the glass on the bedside table and then shook Eren's shoulder. "Eren, you need to wake up and drink this." Eren swatted at him and Levi tried to contain his panic when Eren missed entirely, completely unable to focus his gaze on Levi now. "For me, okay?" Levi requested quietly.

 

Eren gave a tired grunt and tried to sit up but his arms where shaking and weak and he collapsed back against the mattress with a groan. Levi was already moving, sitting on the bed against the headboard and pulling Eren into his lap to sit. Eren's legs were draped over one of Levi's thighs as he sat sideways, his head lolling against Levi's shoulder for support. Levi set the bucket on Eren's lap in preparation and then grabbed the glass of water.

 

Levi held the back of Eren's head with one hand to support it and brought the glass to Eren's lips. "Drink for me, Eren. I need you to drink."

 

Eren's lips parted slightly and Levi tipped the glass forward. Some of the water spilled down Eren's front but Levi sighed in relief when he saw Eren's throat working, swallowing the rest of the water down. Almost immediately Levi felt Eren convulse and Levi barely managed to move the glass away before Eren leaned forward and threw the water right back up into the bucket. Well aware of how dehydrated Eren was getting, Levi offered up the glass again.

 

Eren attempted to swallow the water one more time, but after throwing up again he blocked Levi's hand and tried to lean away. "No, please. No more."

 

"Leave it," Vinelli said. "I hoped we might get something in him but there's no point forcing it now."

 

Levi set the glass back on the table and wrapped his arms around Eren's body, sharing his body heat when Eren began to shiver. Vinelli emptied the bucket and returned it while she was waiting for the fire to strengthen. Levi watched her return to the table where she was busy blending and mashing different herbs together, which Levi assumed would be cooked over the fire shortly.

 

Eren shifted in Levi's lap and sobbed weakly, drawing Levi's attention back down. Eren was clutching at his stomach and curling in on himself and the bucket. "It hurts so much..." Eren whimpered. "Please...make it stop."

 

"Soon," Levi promised. "Hold on just a little longer."

 

"I can't, Levi..." Eren shook his head desperately, crying louder. Eren could no longer stay still, squirming away from a pain that was originating from inside and inescapable. " _Please_..."

 

Eren reached for Levi's sword and Levi knocked his hand away. Levi gripped Eren's chin with his hand and forced his gaze upwards; Eren couldn't focus but Levi knew Eren could see him. "You're giving up so quickly?" he hissed. "What about me, Eren? What about the ocean?"

 

Tear tracks marred Eren's face but Levi saw it: a glimmer of clarity and determination. "Levi..."

 

Eren said nothing else but he didn't reach for Levi's sword again. He merely rested his weight back against Levi's chest and remained there. Trying to distract Eren from the pain, Levi used his hand not supporting Eren's back to stroke his hair. Between the panting and whines of pain Eren released one relieved sigh and leaned into the touch, seeking more. Levi continued to pet Eren's hair when Vinelli pulled Eren's shirt off his shoulder to clean, stitch and bandage the deep gouge from the sword. As Levi suspected, it wasn't a life-threatening wound, but it would be painful for a while anytime Eren moved his arm. While Levi felt Eren cry against his neck, Levi felt his own eyes fog with tears he wouldn't let fall. He couldn't protect Eren from this. Levi had failed him.

 

A few more times Eren dry heaved into the bucket but for the most part he stayed in Levi's arms and Levi did his best to save Eren from falling to pieces. It was hard to keep track of the passing time, but finally Vinelli was walking over to them with a cup full of dark green liquid in her hand. "This is going to taste horrible and the consistency isn't much better," she warned. "But he'll need to drink it all. The antidote will work through his body, neutralize the poison and then prompt him to puke it out when it's done."

 

"He doesn't need help puking," Levi glared, holding Eren protectively against his chest.

 

"Captain, please," Vinelli said tersely. "I understand your concern but this is the only way he'll survive. Yes, he'll be weak and exhausted after the process is done. But once the antidote has done its work, we can get food and water into him and we can let him rest."

 

Eren had remained half-conscious but Levi didn't know how much awareness he had of the conversation. "The pain is going to stop," Levi spoke into Eren's ear to ensure he was listening. "One disgusting drink and it'll be over. Can you drink it for me?" Eren nodded, though Levi needed to support the back of Eren's head to get him seated upright to drink. Eren was still shivering violently, his pulse as fast as ever. While Levi supported Eren's body, Vinelli tipped the liquid into Eren's mouth a little bit at a time. At the first taste Eren turned his head away and tried to spit it out, but Levi clutched his jaw. "Don't you fucking dare," he whispered.

 

Eren flinched and then swallowed hard, forcing the liquid down his throat. He gagged and Levi rubbed his back to soothe him. Vinelli waited until Eren had settled before giving him more liquid to gulp down. It took a few long minutes before the glass was finally empty and Vinelli withdrew, giving them some space. "You can let him sleep now, but we'll need to watch over him until he throws up again. You can change or rest if you need to."

 

"I'll stay," Levi said easily. "Just help me get out of this cloak."

 

Vinelli reached over to help pull the cloak over Levi's head. Not that they wouldn't both need a long shower after this, but Levi felt better with the soiled cloak off his shoulders. Levi leaned back against the headboard and held Eren close in his arms. They both ended up dozing, Levi losing track of the time with the heat of the fireplace embracing the two of them.

 

Levi woke with a start at the same time as Eren did, tensing and clamouring for the bucket. It sounded like Eren was puking up his guts but Vinelli rushed over and rubbed his back, encouraging him to get it all out. "You're vomiting the poison now, Eren," she told him. "Don't fight it. Let it all come up." Eren puked longer than Levi thought possible, and when he was finally finished he leaned back against Levi with a groan of relief. "How do you feel?"

 

"The cramps are gone," Eren mumbled, already sounding half-asleep again. "M' tired."

 

"Let's get some water in you and then you can sleep," Vinellia said, taking away the bucket and getting another glass of water.

 

Eren needed to be nudged awake, but after his tentative sip of water stayed in his stomach, Eren gulped half the glass down greedily. Only then did Vinelli give Levi the go-ahead to let Eren lie down fully on the bed. Levi settled Eren on his side and stroked his hair as Eren easily drifted into a deeper, relaxed sleep. "Can I stay?" Levi requested.

 

"Certainly," Vinelli smiled. "You would benefit from a bit of rest as well. I'll keep an eye on him to make sure he remains on his side and doesn't show any signs of poison remaining in his system."

 

"Thank you," Levi said sincerely.

 

He lay down on the bed and spooned Eren from behind, keeping them both on their side. Levi was no longer self-conscious about showing his affections for Eren in front of others. Hell, as long as Eren was alive and well, Levi didn't give a shit who knew or what they thought. All he cared about was holding Eren close and cherishing each moment they had together. Levi had experienced loss many times before, but somehow he had forgotten that he could lose Eren just as easily. Levi held Eren a little tighter and slipped his hand up Eren's chest. It was only the feeling of Eren's slow, steady heartbeat that coaxed Levi into relaxing and drifting off to sleep.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I am so excited to be sharing the last few chapters with you, and yet I'm sad that the story is coming to an end...

Levi woke to the sound of shuffled feet and whispers. He blinked his eyes open slowly and lifted his head from where he had tucked his face against the back of Eren's neck. It was dim in the room; it seemed like Levi had slept most of the day away. At some point Vinelli must've pulled the covers up over them because Levi and Eren were bundled up in a cocoon of blankets and it was difficult to wake up. Levi got enough of a jolt to wake up fully though when he saw that they had company.

 

Erwin was closest inside the room with Mikasa and Armin right behind him. Levi could see the rest of his training group all crowded together out in the hallway through the open doorframe. Another bed in the room was taken by Marco, who was bandaged and sleeping with Jean watching over him. Vinelli was also in the room but she was by the fire, putting a new log on to keep the room warm. Levi sat up a little further and watched Erwin approach hesitantly, eyes unreadable. Mikasa and Armin edged in behind him, though they kept a bit more distance.

 

Eren didn't even stir when Erwin sat carefully on the edge of the bed. Levi's eyes met Erwin's own, and immediately he felt relief wash through him. "How is he?" Erwin asked quietly.

 

"Better," Levi also kept his voice low. "They poisoned him with Wandering Vines but Vinelli made him the antidote. We've just been sleeping."

 

"Good." Levi watched Erwin ruffle Eren's hair lightly. Then Erwin caressed Levi's cheek. "I rode as quickly as I could when I heard." The contact didn't make Levi's heart flutter the way it used to, but it still left him feeling calm and secure.

 

"Pixis apparently called off the battle. Nile got away." Levi's voice hardened. "I'm going after him."

 

"I don't doubt that," Erwin nodded. "Would you be willing to leave Eren for a short while? I must speak with you about our next move."

 

Levi didn't want to let Eren out of his sight for even a second. But he knew Vinelli would be here to look over him, and Eren's friends had edged even closer during the discussion. "I suppose," Levi groaned and carefully extracted himself from the bed without jostling Eren too much. As Erwin stood up and moved aside, Mikasa and Armin took over the bedside. "Watch over him," Levi requested. "And come find me if anything happens."

 

"Will he be okay?" Armin asked him worriedly. Mikasa sat on the edge of the bed and rested a hand on Eren's arm through the blanket.

 

"He will," Levi said confidently. "He just needs rest now."

 

He was slightly surprised but also relieved that no one in his training group was commenting on finding their Captain spooning one of their friends. Levi wondered if Mikasa, Jean or Marco had informed the others of Levi's desperate declaration of love, of the tears streaming down Levi's face at the thought of losing Eren. It didn't matter, Levi decided; no one seemed bothered by the pairing. "Can we see them too?" Connie asked as Levi and Erwin walked through the door into the hallway.

 

"Marco and Eren both appear to be sleeping," Levi said. "But if you're quiet you can go in." Not that he was the official healer, but everyone waited for his permission before slipping into the room.

 

"Are you sure you're comfortable leaving?" Erwin asked him when it was just the two of them in the hallway.

 

Levi looked back at Eren through the doorframe. Longing called him back, but he also wanted to give Eren's friends a chance to see him. "For a little while," Levi agreed. They made their way upstairs to Levi's room since he had the commanding officer's quarters. Levi saw Erwin's pack set in the corner beside Levi's as they both grabbed a chair and sat down by the desk. "Have you spoken with Pixis yet?"

 

"I haven't," Erwin said. "I'd prefer to speak with him with you at my side, if you're up for it. Your group got him locked up in the basement so he's not going anywhere. Not that he seems intent on sneaking away."

 

"He said he wanted to talk to you specifically," Levi said. "He surrendered just to talk to you. From what he said, it sounds like Nile's plan finally crossed too many lines for him. Or so he says," Levi shrugged.

 

"I've had enough of this war, Rivaille," Erwin sighed and rubbed a hand over his face. "Perhaps I waited too long for the perfect moment to strike. I left many innocent people in the hands of poor leadership to be swayed and corrupted."

 

Levi tapped his fingers on the desk, studying Erwin's face carefully. "You're thinking of an offensive attack."

 

Erwin met his eyes. "Would you stand beside me?"

 

"Of course I would," Levi said without hesitation. "Those bastards have gone too far, and they'll just keep pushing. Nile is mine to end. But how far are you planning to go?"

 

Erwin was silent for a moment but his eyes never wavered. "The king."

 

Levi raised an eyebrow. "You're going to dethrone the king?"

 

"It's time for new leadership," Erwin said with certainty. "I have been keeping an eye on the king's eldest daughter, Mallina. She would inherit, except that the king has placed her in the dungeons. He fears her," Erwin told Levi. "She's smart, and she's sensible."

 

"You put your faith in the hands of someone who has never ruled," Levi pointed out. "What makes you so sure she would be any better? Or that she'd survive long enough to prove her worth? The king's people would turn on her."

 

"The king's people would," Erwin nodded. "That's why we'll be dealing with them. But the general population? Levi, all they want is a ruler they can trust and stand behind. As long as they don't lose their way of life, I think they will truly stand behind her."

 

Levi was still sceptical, but it wasn't like they had many options. "So your plan is to attack the capital," Levi surmised. "Take out the king along with _all_ of his loyal backers."

 

"Some will sway when they realize that it is in their best interest," Erwin said. "But the king and those closest to him, yes."

 

"They won't all be in the capital," Levi pointed out. "They'll be scattered, keeping an eye on the kingdom."

 

"What do you think I've been doing the last few years, spying on random people?" Erwin gave him a look. "I know who are most loyal to the king and where they are stationed. I have positioned our own people close to them, waiting for a signal to strike. It will be one attack all at once across the kingdom. No one will have time to warn anyone else."

 

Levi felt a little shiver work down his spine. This was why Erwin was a man to be feared. He had been planning this for years, surveying and strategizing, moving each piece into the optimal position. Waiting silently in the shadows for the right time. Always ready, always watching and adjusting as necessary. "And what of the Military Police?"

 

"I feel that many of them just need a different leader," Erwin explained as he sat back in his chair. "Nile will be eliminated. I will leave him to you. There are a few other officers near the top that will need to go as well, but the majority can be left. I will not slaughter anyone unnecessary."

 

"Who will take over? You?"

 

Erwin shook his head. "No. Ideally..." Erwin laced his fingers together in his lap. "Pixis would lead the Military Police." Erwin spoke over Levi's initial protest. "Listen first. I know that this choice depends on strongly on what he says when we speak to him. But if he agrees and we feel we can trust him, Pixis would be the best choice. Many of those in the Military Police know him and _like_ him. They would be much more likely to accept him as their leader than a stranger."

 

"If they like him, Pixis could make them even more dangerous," Levi reasoned.

 

"He could, but I don't think that is Pixis' intention. I've known him longer," Erwin reminded him. "Why would Pixis stop the attack and keep your whole group safe otherwise?"

 

"To win your trust," Levi narrowed his eyes. "And betray you later."

 

"If that is his plan," Erwin conceded. "We will need to speak to him. There are other Survey Corps members I would consider as an option, but I still feel that Pixis would be the best choice if possible."

 

Levi huffed and stood, getting a momentary break from the conversation to light a candle on the desk now that the sun had fully set. As Levi snubbed the match and sat back down, he spoke. "What's your timeframe? I don't know if they'll be expecting a full attack, but it would be best not to linger."

 

"Agreed. Which is why I'm aiming for a few weeks from now," Erwin said. "I need to leave time for a few more people to get into position, and we need to explain the plan to everyone who will be involved. Then we will move on the capital." Erwin hesitated for a moment, making sure he had Levi's attention. "The trainees will need to fight."

 

Levi kept his concern contained. "I know. They'll be fine. Especially when they fight as a team." Levi sighed when he saw that Erwin was still watching him carefully. "I'm with you, Erwin. You know I trust your judgement."

 

Erwin's shoulders relaxed, though he didn't look happy. This battle was a necessary one, but no one would be happy walking into a fight like this. There was no guarantee of victory, that their plans would pan out. No certainty that everyone would be alive and well at the end of it. This was what the war had been building up to, and what everyone had been dreading for years. "I couldn't fathom this without you fighting beside me, Levi."

 

"Same, you old softie," Levi snorted and offered the tiniest smile.

 

Erwin returned the smile and then looked down at his laced hands. "I am glad Eren is safe."

 

Levi's chest felt a bit tight. "Thanks. It's lucky for those Military Police bastards that he's alive or else they'd be screaming and running for their lives."

 

Erwin's expression was thoughtful. "You've always thought yourself to be somewhat invincible, haven't you?" Erwin mused aloud. "You taught yourself to distance yourself from loss after your parents. Even with me. I know you care but if I died in a fight you would tell yourself I had died for what I believed in and you would continue on. But with Eren..."

 

"What about Eren?" Levi asked tightly.

 

"You haven't accepted it yet," Erwin said. "But Eren's death would cripple you. Do you think it was coincidence that Nile targeted Eren and Marco? He could've had any of the trainees captured. He chose the defector and your biggest weakness. They were the ones captured, but you were very much the target. You can't assume that others didn't notice the way you care about him, even before your relationship changed."

 

Levi clenched his teeth, hands balled into fists. He was furious at the thought that Eren suffered because of him. If Levi had held himself back and kept his distance, Eren never would've been poisoned. "Maybe I shouldn't have—"

 

"Don't," Erwin cut off his thoughts. "You're allowed to be happy, Levi." Levi felt lost, not knowing what to say. "Come on."

 

Levi wasn't sure where they were going but assumed they were heading downstairs to talk to Pixis. He sent Erwin a confused look when they walked down the hall returning them to the healer's room, and grunted when Erwin nudged him into the room. The whole training group was still there and looked up at the arrival of their Commander and Captain. Levi felt his heart jump into his throat when he saw that Eren was propped up against a pile of pillows, grimacing as he used a mouthwash Vinelli had handed him. After he handed the glass back Eren saw Levi and smiled at him, his eyes finally able to focus.

 

Eren looked tired and weak but he was awake and smiling and... _fuck_. "Eren," Levi whispered and walked towards the bed. Everyone moved out of his way as Levi stepped closer to the bed until he was hovering at the edge.

 

Eren’s smile widened as he reached a hand out towards him. “Levi… you’re okay.”

 

Levi sat on the edge of the bed and took Eren’s hand in his own. “Yeah, you little shit,” Levi’s laugh caught in his throat. “I’m okay. But it wasn’t me we were worried about.”

 

Before Eren could think of some other stupid thing to say, Levi cupped the back of Eren’s neck with his palm and kissed him deeply. Eren moaned and parted his lips, silently requesting more. His mouth tasted of mint from the cleaner Vinelli had given Eren. Levi leaned a little further into the kiss and relished in it, took Eren in, and then separated their lips.

 

Levi could feel his ears warming but he purposefully kept his expression stoic. Everyone else was gaping, and Eren had a dazed, lopsided grin plastered on his face. “Maybe I should get poisoned more often.”

 

Levi smacked Eren’s arm, suddenly angry. “How do you always think of something stupid to say?”

 

“It’s in his nature,” Mikasa sighed.

 

Eren laughed sheepishly. “Sorry.” He looked down at their laced fingers and then back up at their audience. “I’m sorry,” he said again, realizing that they were getting more attention than Levi was entirely comfortable with.

 

“I want to be here,” Levi promised him, squeezing Eren’s hand. “I would’ve been pissed off if you had died on me.”

 

“I would’ve been pretty pissed too if I had missed your declaration back there,” Eren looked at Levi through his lashes.

 

“So you were awake enough to hear that,” Levi breathed out slowly. He wished they didn’t have an audience now.

 

“Yeah,” Eren said. He was leaning forward and Levi could tell that he wanted another kiss. But Levi had reached his limit for public affection. Eren glanced around, eyes lingering on Erwin before turning back. “Are you staying?”

 

Levi also looked over to Erwin, who was clearly trying to be supportive but still looked a little uncomfortable. “Spend some time with your friends,” Levi told Eren when he turned back. “The Commander and I have some work to do.” Eren’s smile wavered and Levi brushed his thumb over Eren’s wrist. “I’ll come back when we’re done.”

 

Levi was grateful when Erwin cut in to alleviate some of the worry on Eren’s face. “We have an old bald man to visit.”

 

“You’re going to see Pixis?”

 

Levi glanced over his shoulder to see Marco sitting up in bed, Jean helping to support him when Marco winced. “How are you, Marco?” Levi asked, feeling a bit guilty for momentarily forgetting about Marco with his concern for Eren.

 

“I’m okay,” Marco gave him a reassuring smile. “I hurt in a lot of places but I’m just glad I’m safe in bed rather than down in that dungeon. You’re seeing Pixis, right?” he asked again.

 

“Yes, we’re going to speak to him,” Erwin answered.

 

Marco looked over to his Commander, face serious. “Thank him for me,” Marco requested. “We were tortured for hours at Nile’s orders before he disappeared. But as soon as Pixis found us and realized what was going on he ordered the torturers to stop and ran out to stop the fight.”

 

“They didn’t stop though,” Jean growled.

 

“Maybe Pixis could’ve done more, but he was trying to save as many lives as possible,” Marco argued. “The torture is on the torturers' hands.”

 

“Not that he can use them anymore,” Jean said darkly, giving Levi a good idea of what had likely happened to Marco’s torturer. He had known Mikasa had gone after some of them and Levi had skewered Eren’s torturer, and apparently Jean had finished off Marco’s torturer that Levi had briefly knocked unconscious.

 

“We’ll speak with him,” Erwin said, stepping closer to rest a hand on Marco’s shoulder. “I’m glad to see you are safe.”

 

“Thank you, sir,” Marco smiled.

 

Levi stood when Erwin walked back to the doorframe but Eren wouldn’t let go of his hand. Levi looked back to meet Eren’s searching eyes. “You’ll come back after, right?”

 

“Right,” Levi said and gently withdrew his hand. “All of you get some dinner and rest.”

 

Erwin and Levi were halfway down the hallway when Erwin spoke. “Do you feel better after seeing him?”

 

“Fuck off.”

 

“I’m serious,” Erwin sent him a look. “Don’t forget how long I’ve known you. There is no fault in wanting to see the one you care about after the risk of losing them.”

 

Levi remembered Erwin’s wild eyes in the healer’s room and his words; _I rode as fast as I could_. Levi huffed, feeling a bit self-conscious. “What about Mike?”

 

“I left him in temporary command of HQ,” Erwin said. “He will remain there with the others until we are ready to launch an attack.” They were both silent as they walked into the kitchen, and Levi didn’t ask questions when they started filling three plates with food. Erwin’s plans were always ten steps ahead.

 

“Is that it?” Levi prompted lightly.

 

Levi barely got his plate set down before he dropped it, Erwin clutching Levi’s forearm with a painful grip. There was no one else in the room with them but Erwin’s voice was hushed and dangerous. “You’re a fool if you think I can forget my feelings for you in a few short months,” Erwin hissed. “What were you thinking, going in without backup support? You wouldn’t have had nearly enough fighters if Pixis hadn’t called off the fight.”

 

Levi winced but didn’t shy away. “Eren could’ve died if I had waited. They both could have.”

 

“And if the fight had continued, you could have led your entire group to their deaths,” Erwin accused. “ _You_ could have died.” There was real pain in Erwin’s eyes as they searched Levi’s face. “I know we have both moved on but I can’t lose you entirely, Levi.”

 

Levi rested a hand carefully on top of Erwin’s, causing him to relax his grip slightly. “I’m a selfish man, Erwin, and I’m sorry it causes you grief. But I did what I had to, and the others made their choice to fight for their friends as well.”

 

“I’m a selfish man too,” Erwin sighed, their eyes still locked.

 

Levi swallowed. He could only think of repeating one question. “What about Mike?”

 

Erwin’s eyes finally skirted away. “I care for Mike as well. But it takes time, and you are not a man to be replaced.”

 

“You don’t need to replace me. You just need to find happiness,” Levi scoffed in surprise. “Do you think Eren replaced you? Erwin, you’re smarter than that. Each relationship is different.”

 

“Since when did you become a sage of relationships?” Erwin’s eyes narrowed.

 

“Since I’ve had to understand all this bullshit in my own head,” Levi said. Slowly he slid out of Erwin’s grasp and Erwin let him go.

 

“Sorry,” Erwin muttered under his breath.

 

“Don’t be,” Levi waved him off. “You were wrong before, you know,” he made sure Erwin was paying attention before he spoke again. “I’d be very pissed off if you got yourself killed for any reason. And I’d kick your ass if you did what I just did.”

 

“And you’re telling me off,” Erwin grumbled, though Levi could tell he was amused. “Come on, I know a certain old man who is probably starving and cranky by now.” Erwin picked up two plates and Levi picked up his own, allowing the topic change and following Erwin down into the basement. There were two guards standing outside one of the rooms who stepped out of Erwin’s way when he walked past. Levi trailed behind and pulled the door tightly shut behind them.

 

“I suppose it would’ve been too much to hope for to think you might bring a chessboard,” Pixis spoke from where he was seated on the bed.

 

“It’s not really the time for a game of chess,” Erwin said and handed over the extra plate of food, bringing a grateful smile to Pixis’ face.

 

A moment later Pixis winked. “I doubt that’s true. I’m sure you’ve woven your web tightly by now.”

 

“Is this the first you’ve eaten since joining us?” Erwin asked rather than answering Pixis’ silent question. Levi had always been impressed at how diplomatic Erwin could be in any situation. He was so smart with his words, he could make a prisoner say thank you for the roof over their head.

 

Levi grabbed one of the two chairs from the table in the corner, Erwin moving the other chair so that they were both facing the bed. “Some lovely young lady brought me a sandwich a while ago but I was just starting to think about dinner, thank you.”

 

“We owe you some gratitude in return,” Erwin inclined his head before forking some potatoes into his mouth. “Marco in particular asked us to thank you.”

 

Pixis snorted and shook his head. “Saving the lives of kids and one grumpy toothpick,” Levi scowled, “isn’t something that needs to be thanked. Nile went too far.”

 

Rather than jumping on the topic and spilling his plans, Erwin took another bite of food calmly. Levi sat back and let Erwin lead. He always enjoyed watching Erwin play his cards close to his chest; it was fascinating since Levi wasn’t the one being manipulated. “So what do you want?”

 

Pixis smiled at his plate and Levi remembered that Erwin and Pixis – and Nile, before the power went to his head – were old training friends. “I want to join you on your plans,” Pixis said simply.

 

Erwin raised an eyebrow. “And what plans might those be?”

 

Pixis chuckled and the room shared a moment of silence as they all swallowed more food. Then the atmosphere turned serious. “You can’t expect me to believe you’ve spent your years tucked away and didn’t develop a plan. But I’ll show you my hand first,” Pixis conceded. “For years I have tried to sway the Military Police back to what they used to stand for. But I have failed. Nile’s beliefs have become distorted and I fear his influence on others.”

 

“Why didn’t you do something sooner?” Levi accused. “You were on the inside. There’s a lot you could’ve done.”

 

Pixis met his gaze and accusations strongly. “Because I am a hopeful fool and didn’t realize how bad it had become. As horrible as it may sound,” Pixis sighed. “I’m not surprised that he kidnapped that freckled boy Marco to learn what he had told the Survey Corps when he defected. But kidnapping your…” Pixis trailed off as he glanced at Levi. “That’s personal and unjustifiable.”

 

“He’ll pay for it,” Levi stated, simply awaiting his opportunity.

 

Erwin and Pixis both considered him critically. “I believe you,” Pixis said eventually. Then he looked back to Erwin. “I want to take part, and I have valuable information that could be helpful.”

 

“How can we trust you?” Erwin asked.

 

Pixis was silent for a moment. “I guess I’ll just have to prove it,” he said. “And I’m willing to stay down here.”

 

Levi was nearly finished his dinner and saw that Erwin and Pixis were finishing off as well. Erwin cleverly used this as an opportunity to pause the current conversation. “How about we get rid of these empty plates and I’ll try to find a chessboard I can bring back with me.”

 

Pixis wasn’t fooled, but he handed his plate over to Erwin and sat back against the wall, smiling pleasantly. “Splendid idea.”

 

Levi and Erwin moved back out of the room and upstairs. They dropped off their empty plates and found a quiet hallway away from the crowd filling the dining hall. “What do you think?” Erwin questioned when they were certain they were alone.

 

Levi raised one shoulder in a half-shrug. “This is your area of expertise, not mine.”

 

“But I still value your insight,” Erwin insisted.

 

Levi crossed his arms and leaned back against the wall. “I feel like he’s telling the truth, but he’s an unnecessary liability. We could do this without him and cut our risks.”

 

“We could,” Erwin agreed, mirroring Levi’s position leaning against the wall. “But his information could be useful. It could make us more effective and help us avoid unnecessary loss of life. And if possible there is more I’d like to accomplish with him.”

 

Levi remembered their earlier talk. “I know you have other plans for him, but let’s be honest. This shit is beyond me.” He turned and rested a hand on Erwin’s arm. “You’re the one who can see the whole board, Erwin.” Their eyes locked. “Make your move. We’re behind you.”

 

“Thank you, Levi,” Erwin rested his hand on top of Levi’s for just a moment before withdrawing and straightening his posture. “I suppose you don’t want to join us again.”

 

“Fuck no,” Levi snorted. “You two old windbags will make me die of boredom. Just do what you do best. I think there’s an old chess set in the commanding officer’s quarters.”

 

“Will you be sleeping early?” Erwin wondered. “You’ve had a stressful day.”

 

“I’ll be awake for a while,” Levi stretched, feeling his spine pop satisfyingly. “But you can take the bed tonight. I’m going to keep an eye on Eren.”

 

Erwin barely blinked, keeping his expression plain. “We’ll have another meeting in the morning to discuss next steps.”

 

Levi nodded his agreement and walked back to the main lobby. Erwin joined him, turning towards the stairs while Levi stood by the hallway heading back to the healing room. “Enjoy your chess game.”

 

“Goodnight,” Erwin said in return and they parted ways.

 

The healer’s room was quiet when Levi arrived; Eren’s friends had all left. Levi was slightly annoyed to discover that Eren had already fallen back to sleep when Levi returned to the healer’s room. Between his capture and torture, and his friends keeping him company during dinner, Eren had been worn out. Vinelli had gone, probably to get food as well, but Levi saw that Marco and Jean were still in the room seated on Marco’s designated bed.

 

When they glanced up at him Levi waved them off and headed upstairs. He passed Erwin just as he was leaving the officer’s quarters, and received a surprised and teasing look. “Back so soon?”

 

“Eren fell asleep on me,” Levi complained.

 

Erwin smiled slightly. “You can take this room if you want; I’ll find somewhere else.”

 

“Don’t be stupid. If I decide to sleep early I’ll take Eren’s room,” Levi said. “It shouldn’t be too much of a wreck.”

 

“Alright, have a pleasant evening,” Erwin said. Levi noticed the bag with an old chess board on Erwin’s arm.

 

Levi cleared out his things and set them in the corner of Eren’s room down the hall. He stripped out of his uniform gratefully, glad to peel the straps away from his body. Levi changed into a loose pair of pants and tugged on a sweater; something he could wear in public but was more comfortable to sleep in. The last thing Levi grabbed was his book and then he returned to the healer’s room.

 

Jean and Marco both fell silent again when he entered, though this time they stared openly. Levi gave them an unimpressed look. “It’s not like I sleep in my Gear, you gawkers.”

 

“Sorry, Captain,” Marco smiled apologetically, while Jean just continued to stare. “By the way…” Marco looked from Levi to Eren, asleep in bed on the opposite side of the room. “I’m sorry Eren got roped into this because of me.”

 

“Marco,” Jean grumbled and tightened his arm carefully around Marco’s waist in a protective gesture. “It’s not your fault.”

 

“Jean is right, shockingly,” Levi teased as he stepped closer to the two boys sitting on the bed. Levi smoothed out his features to match the serious topic when they both looked up at him. “They kidnapped you for information, but they took Eren to get at me.”

 

Marco’s face fell. “Before they poisoned him they were asking him questions about you, and Survey Corps plans. They questioned what I told the Survey Corps too, but I think they were just angry with me.”

 

“Don’t apologize for what happened to Eren,” Levi scolded lightly. “And don’t think you deserved what happened to you either.”

 

“Well…”

 

Levi saw Jean clench his jaw and cup Marco’s far cheek with a hand, turning his face towards him. “No one deserves what happened to you, Marco,” Jean said. “The Military Police are assholes. You weren’t wrong for deciding that you didn’t like their crap and found a group you felt comfortable with.”

 

“But—”

 

“Hush,” Jean silenced him and caught Marco’s lips in a kiss. Levi turned away to give them some privacy, walking over to Eren’s bed. Levi couldn’t help but think about Jean’s words and wonder if what he wanted to do to Nile as punishment was justified. However, as Levi looked over Eren’s worn out face, his inner conflict faded. Levi never promised to be a saint.

 

Knowing that Jean and Marco were already caught up in each other, Levi paid no attention to his potential audience as he slid into bed beside Eren. The bed was small, barely fitting both of them, but personal space wasn’t an issue for them and Levi lay right against Eren’s side.

 

Levi propped himself up against the headboard and opened his book. He wasn’t tired enough to fall asleep but was too tired to do much else. Levi did his best to ignore Jean and Marco as they kissed and spoke quietly to each other. He wished he could take Eren back to his room, but Levi knew it was important for both Eren and Marco to remain under observation for a few days. They didn’t want any ill effects to pop up a few days later.

 

Sometime later the room grew quiet, Marco looking tired as he kissed Jean softly and then lay down under the blankets to sleep. Jean lay down beside him under the blankets and curled up close; Levi could see the shape of Jean’s arm around Marco’s middle to hold him close. Although Levi doubted Jean meant to sleep so early, it had been a stressful and exhausting day and it wasn’t long before Levi could hear quiet snoring across the room.

 

Vinellia came back and looked over both her patients, but decided that she didn’t need to wake them up if they were sleeping soundly. She extinguished the majority of the lights, leaving just a light by the door and the light on the bedside table beside Levi, and then bid Levi goodnight. Her rooms were attached to the healer’s room so that she would be nearby if anyone took a turn for the worse overnight.

 

Levi’s eyes were drooping and he lost track of the words he was reading on the pages of his book. He was considering setting the book aside and sleeping as well when he felt Eren shift onto his other side and press his body firmly against Levi. When a hand reached out to grip the front of Levi’s sweater, Levi leaned down as Eren lifted his head.

 

With warm breath in Levi’s ear, Eren whispered, “I want to feel you inside me.”

 

Levi groaned and tried to ignore the way his body immediately flared with heat. “Soon.”

 

Eren whined, and it wasn’t exactly the most innocent-sounding noise. “ _Now_.”

 

“With your friends sleeping right across the room?” Levi pointed out.

 

Eren’s eyes were still half-closed as he looked briefly over at Marco and Jean’s bed. Then those dark eyes returned to Levi’s face. Eren’s bottom lip jutted out in a pout. “I want to be with you after today.”

 

“I know. I want to as well,” Levi admitted under his breath. He caressed Eren’s cheek and brushed his thumb over Eren’s tempting bottom lip. “But I’ll take you soon, when you’re healed. I’ll make you pay for whispering such naughty things into my ear in public.” Levi leaned further down and captured Eren’s lips, kissing him with relieved passion. Eren moaned and returned the kiss, gripping Levi’s waist tightly, but didn’t argue when Levi stopped the kiss before they got too worked up.

 

“You better make it worth the wait,” Eren groused playfully.

 

“I’ll make you forget everything but me,” Levi said. Even in the dim lighting Levi could see the blush staining Eren’s cheeks. “Now go back to sleep.”

 

“Are you going to sleep here tonight?” Eren wondered even as he pulled away from Levi slightly, lying on his back.

 

In answer Levi set his book on the table and extinguished the light. He held Eren’s hips and nudged him onto his side, easily slotting himself against Eren’s back under the blankets. “Does this answer your question?”

 

“Yeah,” Eren purred, resting his hand atop Levi’s that was resting on Eren’s stomach. “I love you.”

 

Levi kissed the shell of Eren’s ear. “I love you, too.”

 

#

 

“It’s about fucking time,” Levi grumbled as he gripped Eren’s wrist, dragging him along down the hall until they reached the door for Eren’s room. Levi got the door open and pushed Eren in. “Get in.”

 

“What about my friends?” Eren laughed as he allowed Levi to manhandle him into the room. “Shouldn’t I go see them now that I’ve been released from the healer’s room?”

 

Levi slammed the door and locked it behind them before crowding Eren up against the wall. “You want to go hang out with your shitty friends rather than get the fucking of a lifetime from me?”

 

“They’re not shitty,” Eren was still laughing. He wrapped his arms loosely around Levi’s shoulders and pulled him closer, welcoming the proximity. “But I’m quite happy where I am right now. I just wasn’t expecting you to be in this much of a hurry.”

 

“Oh really,” Levi’s voice was snarky. “You thought you could just grind against me and fondle my dick in a bed _in public_ and I wouldn’t fucking destroy your ass?”

 

Already Levi had tugged Eren’s shirt up and over his head, careful of the bandaging around Eren's shoulder, and was reaching down to undo the clasps on his pants. Eren couldn’t seem to stop laughing, but it sounded breathier now as Eren rose onto his toes just to thrust his groin against Levi’s working hands. “Seems worth it if you’re acting like this.”

 

“A week, Eren,” Levi growled. “A week of you begging me to fuck you and your filthy hands groping me under the blankets; you were asking for it.”

 

“Yes I was,” Eren purred. "You can't blame me when I had to spend my eighteenth birthday in a hospital bed."

 

"It was a pretty shitty birthday," Levi had to agree. Eren's friends had helped make him a cake, and Levi had spent the day keeping Eren company and gave him a subtle handjob under the bed sheets that night. But Eren hadn't been able to go out into the city to celebrate, and he had complained about not being able to have mind-blowing sex now that he was finally legal. Not that they had let that stop them the last two and a half months, but still.

 

"You owe me some birthday sex," Eren smirked. He reached forward to undo Levi’s shirt but Levi took over when Eren winced after lifting his arms. Eren had still been worn out and a little nauseous for a few days after the poison, but once they got Eren’s body flushed clean his general health had improved. However, the sword had cut deep into the muscle of Eren’s shoulder. It would take a lot longer than a week for Eren to heal fully.

 

Levi’s voice dropped an octave lower as he squeezed Eren’s hips and then yanked his pants and underwear halfway down his thighs. “Careful what you wish for.”

 

Eren stepped out of his pants without needing to be ordered, his cock already hanging hard and heavy between his legs. Levi wrapped a fist around Eren’s cock and pumped him a few times greedily, smiling as he watched Eren arch and rise onto his toes a second time to thrust into the touch. Levi continued until he felt Eren’s precome coat his hand, and then Levi nudged Eren towards the bed.

 

Levi removed the rest of his clothing and left it on the ground among Eren’s discarded clothes, following behind Eren with a predatory stare. Eren hovered by the edge of the bed, looking over his shoulder at Levi since Levi was usually the one who chose their position. Except this time Eren watched Levi with hooded eyes and spoke openly. “I want to ride you.”

 

Levi swallowed thickly as heat crashed over him in a wave at those words. "Fine," he agreed tightly. "But on your back for now."

 

He sidestepped the bed to rustle through one of his bags in the corner of the room, pulling out lube and a condom. Levi set the condom on the nightstand but held onto the lube as he settled between Eren's legs. Eren's eyes lingered on the condom before he looked back to Levi, licking his lips nervously. "Can we not use the condom this time? We didn't use one that first time we were together."

 

Levi briefly stopped rubbing his fingers together to spread lube, meeting Eren's searching eyes. "It's too messy," he complained. That first time had been a special circumstance; they didn't have a condom and Levi was unwilling to wait.

 

Eren's bottom lip jutted out. As Levi watched, Eren carefully lifted his arms over his head, stretching out his whole body and putting himself on display. Eren looked a little skinny after his week of sickness but his skin had regained that golden tan Levi loved to mark, and his eyes were vibrant and playful. Seeing Eren so aware and energetic – compared to how weak and disoriented Eren had been when Levi first found him in the dungeon – nearly choked Levi up.

 

"Won't it feel good to fill me?" Eren purred. Eren had learned quickly – too quickly – that if he wanted something, Eren would have more luck trying to turn it on Levi rather than begging for himself. "Don't you want your come deep inside me? Know that I'm yours?"

 

"You're mine already," Levi growled, biting a warning mark onto Eren's inner thigh.

 

Eren cried out softly and shivered, his leg trembling where Levi was holding it aloft. He was still smiling, though his eyes had darkened with lust and need. "Then make it official."

 

"You need my come dripping out of you for it to be official?" Levi raised an eyebrow at the same time as he lapped at the bite mark on Eren's leg, soothing the skin.

 

"No," Eren admitted, already looking blissed out at the attention he was receiving. "But I really want it anyway."

 

"Didn't anyone ever tell you that you don't always get what you want?" Levi sunk his teeth lightly into another warm patch of Eren's skin, just deep enough to dent and send Eren's breath stuttering.

 

Another tremor ran through Eren's body as he spread his legs wider. "You," Eren chuckled breathlessly. "Many times. But that won't stop me from asking. _Begging_ , even."

 

Levi sucked at his second mark, ensuring it would last for a few days at least. Then he pressed one of his lubed fingers against Eren's hole, slipping inside easily. Eren always took Levi's first finger so well, never offering any resistance. "I won't make you beg, today," he added offhandedly, smirking almost to himself as his finger slid all the way in to his second knuckle. Levi's eyes roamed adoringly across Eren's face as those green eyes fluttered shut and Eren's head tilted back into the pillows, his moan stolen from his lips. "And you're changing the sheets this time."

 

Eren bit his lip and grinned. "Seems fair."

 

Levi returned his attention downward and took his time sucking a line of marks along each of Eren's inner thighs while he thrust one, two and then three fingers deep inside Eren's body. It was slow-going in the most pleasing way, Levi caressing Eren's inner walls as he lapped the salt from Eren's skin. While he worked, thoughts of Eren cold and unconscious in his arms kept invading Levi's thoughts, whispered fears in his head of what life would be like if he hadn't gotten to Eren in time, if the antidote hadn't worked.

 

It wasn't about the sex or the clench of Eren's body around his fingers, trying to take him further in. It was the tremble of his still-youthful body, the way his legs hooked around Levi's hips to hold him closer. Eren still had so much in this world to experience, and all those opportunities could've been gone in a blink of an eye. And with a second chance at life, Levi was the one Eren wanted by his side, to share in everything to come.

 

"I love you," Levi whispered against Eren's hip before pressing a warm kiss to the smooth skin there.

 

Eren blinked down at him, expression thoughtful but eyes as warm and loving as always. "I love you too."

 

Levi curled his fingers and pressed in deeper, changing his angle until Eren bucked and whined suddenly. Levi always enjoyed teasing Eren's prostate, sometimes just grinding against it with his fingers to send Eren careening over the edge and leaving him wiped out at the end of it. Today though Levi wanted to be inside Eren, especially after the week of torturous teasing Eren had put him through while stuck in the healer's room.

 

He withdrew and dribbled more lube into his palm, coating his cock impatiently. Eren watched with hooded eyes but closed his legs, barring entrance. "What about—?"

 

"Will you ever grow out of that impatience?" Levi asked sharply at the same time as he gripped Eren's waist, slick fingers making a mess of skin as he pulled Eren up into a seated position. Eren took the hint and moved into a kneeling position while Levi lay on his back across the mattress.

 

It wasn't a new perspective for Levi to be lying on the bed looking up at his lover. But looking up and seeing Eren between his legs felt different. The heat in his green eyes lit a fire in Levi's groin, and yet his dazed grin kept the moment playful and relaxed. "I like you like this," Eren purred, and since when did Eren know how to talk like that?

 

Eren shuffled closer and leaned forward, body crowding into Levi's personal space with his swollen cock nudging against Levi's ass. Luckily Levi was at least partially paying attention beyond the sudden thudding of his heart against his ribcage, and noticed Eren wince and falter. "Careful," Levi chided worriedly as he reached up, catching Eren's weight as his weakened shoulder gave out. "Could you at least try to take care of yourself?" Levi requested as he pressed a kiss to Eren's temple.

 

"No promises." Eren's blush was vibrant.

 

Not wanting Eren to get so caught up in his self-consciousness that he withdrew, Levi trailed his fingers teasingly down Eren's spine and gripped his ass at the same moment as he bucked his hips up. With the way Eren had collapsed, their cocks were pressed tightly together between their bodies and they both groaned openly at the friction. "Your ass is mine, Eren," Levi said. "So get on your damn knees."

 

Despite the order, Levi helped Eren back up without forcing him to do it alone. If Levi were truly selfless, he wouldn't even be entertaining this sort of coupling while Eren was healing. However, Levi wasn't a selfless man, and Eren showed no sign of complaining. Levi lay back against the mattress and pillows and watched as Eren positioned himself. Levi didn't muffle his hiss when Eren gripped Levi's cock, squeezing tightly for a moment before aligning himself and carefully sitting down.

 

"Go slow," Levi warned as he reached down to hold Eren's hips, keeping his pace slow. Eren was always eager in bed but Levi was less willing to allow it this time. Eren didn't need to add anymore injuries to the list.

 

Eren bit his lip and whined in the back of his throat as his body sunk down, Levi's cock slowly being buried until Eren's ass was pressed firmly against Levi's body. Eren's hands skimmed idly across Levi's stomach, and Levi couldn't tell which of them was moaning louder. He continued to grip Eren's hips tightly to keep him slightly aloft and began a steady upward thrust in and out of Eren's body. Why hadn't he considered this position earlier? Levi had a perfect view of Eren's cock, bobbing slightly with each thrust, and the beautiful arch of Eren's tanned body.

 

"Levi," Eren moaned and wavered, clearly wanting to lean forward and be closer but remembering that his injured shoulder couldn't bear the weight.

 

"We can switch," Levi offered, slowing his movements slightly.

 

Eren shook his head wildly, hair askew. Eren kept his left arm at his side to protect his shoulder but splayed his right hand against Levi's stomach. Levi tensed his muscles to give Eren a brace, offering Eren more leverage to lift himself and match Levi's movements. Levi immediately started to lift his hips again, groaning and losing his breath when Eren started sitting down to meet each thrust. The clench of Eren's ass around Levi's cock was nothing though, compared to the sight of Eren throwing his head back and gasping when the head of Levi's cock found his prostate.

 

"There, _there_ ," Eren begged as he bounced on Levi's cock. Levi would have fingernail scrapes across his stomach, Eren losing his awareness to everything but his hurried rise and fall, but Levi didn't mind. He could feel the heat in his body coiling tighter, his toes curling as he thrust up into Eren harder. The glide of flesh in flesh was dizzying, and Levi was glad that Eren had talked him out of using a condom. There was a pool of precome on Levi's skin where it had dribbled down from Eren's tip, indicating that he was as close to completion as Levi was.

 

Knowing that Eren had a good rhythm and wouldn't let his trembling thighs stop him from rocking on Levi's cock until he found his end, Levi moved one hand from Eren's hip to circle his cock. He swept his thumb across Eren's slit and all the air left Eren's lungs in a rush as he craned forward into the touch. Levi stroked him with a tight grip, spreading precome around as his hand moved. "Gonna come for me?" Levi panted. Eren's movements were frantic now as he thrust between Levi's cock and fist.

 

Eren clenched his eyes closed and choked on a moan. "Not..." Eren arched violent when Levi found his prostate again and the whine wrung from Eren's throat was sinful. Levi hadn't thought he would like how much Eren whined during sex, but he had been surprised and pleased by how quickly it stoked his desire. Eren licked his dry lips and tried again, panting on every breath now. "Not until you do. I want to feel you come inside me."

 

"Fuck, Eren, you can't just say things like that," Levi's hips bucked up on instinct, cock pounding into Eren's hole without mercy.

 

"Just... just did," Eren smirked. "C'mon Levi, _please_ ," Eren whispered. "Fuck, please fill me."

 

There was no retaliation for that. Levi didn't even manage to bite his tongue in time to completely silence his shout as his whole body arched off the bed. He would've bucked Eren off by accident if Eren wasn't pushing down with all his weight, positioned perfectly for Levi's hips to mindless grind against Eren's ass. Levi could only groan Eren's name on repeat as he felt his come filling Eren's ass around his cock. The sound of Levi fucking his come deeper into Eren was obscene but addicting, and it was enough to push Eren over the edge as well.

 

Levi stroked Eren through his orgasm, Eren's branding come spilling across his stomach. When they were both spent Eren fell forward and Levi caught him, lowering him carefully and withdrawing from his body so that they could both curl up on the sheets together. Normally Levi would be more vigilant about not getting come on the sheets, but he knew they would be changed shortly anyway and didn't bother putting up a fuss. Instead he focused on pulling Eren close and meeting his lips in a slow, exhausted kiss.

 

Even when they broke the kiss they were still panting, and with a groan Levi lay back against the pillows. Eren curled up against his side and yawned and Levi drew absent-minded circles on Eren's sweaty back. They didn't talk for a while, worn out and not feeling the need to fill the silence with small talk. At some point Eren's breath evened out as he fell asleep, and although a part of Levi really wanted to insist that the sheets get changed pronto, Levi found himself unwilling to move away. So he closed his eyes and hummed, dozing with Eren close in his arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Just a bit of explanation since I'm sure many of you are wondering about the political direction of this plot and why it differs from canon. I actually wrote this before canon (avoiding spoilers) provided more information about the royalty line etc.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Second last chapter! I can't believe we're already coming to the end of the story!

Levi led his training group into one of the smaller meeting rooms in the castle. Hanji was at his side, carrying an armful of papers. Once Eren and Marco had both healed enough to withstand the discomfort of riding a horse for a few hours, Levi and Erwin had led Levi’s training group back to HQ. The backup team Levi’s group had originally been covering for in Borna had finally arrived, leaving enough members to keep the safe house secure and allowing the others to head back and regroup.

 

“Sit anywhere you can find,” Levi said, sitting on the desk by the door to overlook his group. Hanji dumped the papers beside Levi and hopped up to sit on the waist-high cabinet next to the desk. Everyone else leaned against the wall or sat on other cabinets or boxes of storage. It wasn’t the roomiest option but it was in a hallway rarely used and Levi wanted this conversation to be private. “Right,” Levi began. “This is a conversation between us so if I hear that any of you spoke about this beyond this room, I’ll skin you alive. Clear?”

 

“Clear,” was the responsive chorus. They were accustomed to Levi by now.

 

“Good,” Levi looked to each member of his group in turn. “I’m sure by now you’ve heard whispers that your graduation is cancelled. This is true. Consider your party plans buried. We have bigger shit to deal with right now, which I’m sure many of you have also guessed at.”

 

“There’s going to be a fight, isn’t there?” Armin asked.

 

Levi inclined his head. “A big one, with high stakes. You’re all expected to fight, even you three,” he nodded at the trio standing close together near the back of the group.

 

“What do you mean, ‘ _even us_ ’?” Annie crossed her arms.

 

“Yeah,” Reiner grumbled. Bertholdt remained silent but he nodded as well. “We may have joined late but we’re a part of this team too. We all fight together.”

 

“I assumed you might bail,” Levi said honestly.

 

“Well consider yourself corrected,” Annie sniffed.

 

“Alright, down to business then,” Levi crossed one leg loosely. “The Commander will be speaking with all of us as a larger group but I wanted to talk with you first. This isn’t just going to be a fight; it will be a battle.”

 

“So everyone is fighting?” Eren wondered. Levi hadn’t told Eren any details earlier than the rest of the group.

 

Levi’s eyes flickered to Eren and then away. “Everyone who is able,” he said, careful with his words. “And minus a small group who will remain behind to keep HQ and the safe houses secure.”

 

“We’re taking on the King, baby!” Hanji crowed, far more excited than was appropriate.

 

Everyone’s eyes widened at once. “The King?” a few people whispered among the group.

 

“And those at the top of the Military Police and the royal court who have been corrupted. The goal is to bring in a new and, hopefully fairer, regime,” Levi explained. “Each training group, including ours, will fight as a unit and be led by their group leader. Petra with her group, Mike with his and so on.”

 

“Lucky you get two leaders,” Hanji chimed in. “Levi will be leading us there and once we are in the capital I’ll be taking over temporary command.”

 

Eren’s gaze hadn’t left Levi. “Where will you be?”

 

“I have certain matters to attend to,” Levi said stiffly.

 

Eren’s eyes narrowed. “You’re going after Nile, aren’t you?”

 

“So what if I am?” Levi sat taller, challenging Eren to continue.

 

Of course Eren wouldn’t back down; it wasn’t in his nature. Eren’s hands balled up into fists at his sides. “Then I’m going with you.”

 

Levi forced himself to not look away. “We’ll discuss this later. Now can I please get back on the damn topic?” Eren’s eyes fell to the floor and he nodded, but Levi could tell he was still fuming. The room was awkwardly quiet though, and now wasn’t the right time for that particular conversation.

 

“Don’t worry, Eren!” Hanji chirped excitedly. “Everyone has a part to play.”

 

Levi winced but didn’t correct her. “ _Anyways_ , you all need to realize that this isn’t training. People _will_ die. Your job is to make sure that’s not you. Protect each other. Our group will have a specific target but the Commander will delegate that in the larger meeting.”

 

“What about any targets who won’t be in the capital?” Armin asked, always thinking ahead. He reminded Levi a lot of Erwin.

 

“Have you met your Commander?” Levi smirked slightly. That was answer enough and Armin fell silent. “Now, who has been to the capital before?”

 

Only Marco and Christa raised their hands. “Worry not,” Hanji stood quickly and grabbed zher pile of papers, walking around the room to hand them out to everyone. “I’ve made each of you a copy of the capital map. Memorize it because the Commander will be giving you more information to memorize when we all meet up in a few days.”

 

“When is this going to happen?” Mikasa asked Levi.

 

“I can’t say,” Levi said. Erwin was being careful about keeping the details of the attack under wraps. Not that they suspected anyone in their troops to be a spy, but when coordinating a battle this larger it was important to be as cautious as possible. “But it’ll be soon. You’ll have this week to yourselves but starting next week you should be prepared to leave at a moment’s notice.”

 

“We won’t get anywhere close to the capital with how many of us there are,” Connie muttered worriedly.

 

“Do you trust your Commander?” Levi posed the question seriously. “Do you trust me?” He was looking at Connie but everyone nodded together. “Then trust that we have everything planned out.”

 

“That’s it for now,” Hanji wrapped up the conversation. “You’ll learn more from the Commander in a few days but keep this conversation between us, alright?” zhe winked. “Now let’s go get some dinner!”

 

The group shuffled out into the hallway. They were tersely silent, likely trying to figure out what exactly they could discuss safely. Levi remained seated on the desk, watching Eren who remained where he was across the room leaning against the wall. They stared at each other until everyone else had left and Hanji pulled the door closed behind zher. The silence between them was strangling.

 

“So when were you going to get around to telling me that you’re going after Nile?” Eren snapped.

 

Levi clenched his teeth but tried to keep the rest of his face calm. “It doesn’t matter.”

 

“It doesn’t _matter_?” Eren took two dangerous steps towards Levi and wavered, his hands clenched into fists so tight his knuckles were white. “How could it not matter?”

 

“Because you’re not going regardless,” Levi said.

 

“I’m going,” Eren said through clenched teeth.

 

“No, Eren, you’re not!” Levi slid off the desk to stand his own ground. Eren’s height advantage wasn’t nearly enough to make Levi consider backing down from this. “You’re not going _at all_.”

 

Eren’s determined stare flickered with confusion, his shoulders hunching up like he expected to get hit. “Wait, what do you mean?”

 

“I’m telling you that you aren’t joining the battle,” Levi said. “You will sit here, hating me, but alive.”

 

Eren’s mouth fell open slightly in shock at the same time as an angry flush overtook his face. “You… you can’t _do that_ _to me_! Fuck you, Levi! _Fuck you_! I’m going!”

 

All at once Eren was in Levi’s personal space, backing him up against the desk until the edge jutted painfully against his lower back. Eren was breathing hard and Levi wanted to soothe away that anger, but he knew any attempt wouldn’t be appreciated right now. “You’re not,” Levi refuted quietly. He raised his eyes from the floor and forced Eren to meet his gaze. “Erwin ordered it. I’ll be having this same conversation with Marco later today. Neither of you are fully healed and we refuse to lead you into a slaughter when you are unable to protect yourself.”

 

Levi watched as Eren began to tremble, furious tears filling his eyes. His whisper was agonized. “You can’t do this to me.”

 

“Erwin—”

 

“Fuck Erwin!” Eren cut him off. “You could change his mind if you wanted to.”

 

“And what makes you think I’d want to?” Levi stepped closer. Eren knocked his hand away the first two times but on his third attempt Levi managed to grip Eren’s hair tightly and tug his face down. “I knew you’d be angry but I want you here. I want you safe and alive.”

 

“Do you think I can’t fight?”

 

“Normally I’d consider you a big asset to our group,” Levi said seriously. “But you would be a burden in your current condition. We can’t put anyone at risk because you’re stubborn, and I’d never forgive myself if you died because I let you come when I knew you weren’t capable.”

 

“You’re being a selfish prick,” Eren informed him, tears spilling free now. “I can’t stay here and wonder… If my friends will ever come back, if _you—_ ” Eren choked on a sob. “I can’t sit by the window to watch the procession come back and count heads, realize how many died when I did nothing to help.” As Eren cried harder Levi loosened his grip on Eren’s hair to stroke softly. That only made Eren sob again as he tilted his head and nuzzled Levi’s forearm. “I would never be okay if you died while I sat idly by.”

 

“And I would never be okay if you died,” Levi let the words hang in the air. He knew that death was an inevitable companion and that everyone would one day meet their end, but Levi would do everything in his power to ensure Eren’s day didn’t come for a long time. Imagining going into battle by Eren’s side and finding, at the end of it all when the smoke cleared, Eren’s lifeless body had tears of anguish pricking Levi’s own eyes. “You can hate me if you must. But I’m doing this because I love you and I promised to protect you.”

 

Eren had nothing to say in the form of an argument. He just knocked Levi’s hand away heavily and ran out of the room. Levi let his arm fall to his side, throbbing from the hit, and stared at the wall for a moment. It wasn’t that he didn’t understand Eren’s anger, pain or fear; it was the same whirlwind of emotions Levi was swept up in as well as he imagined letting Eren join the fight. Which was why Levi refused to back down on this. He would rather lose Eren as a partner than have Eren lose his life entirely.

 

Levi scrubbed angrily at his face, ignoring the wetness that smeared on his palms. Then he took a deep breath, centered himself, and walked outside. The hallway was empty and Levi made a beeline for his room. Although he hadn’t been expecting Eren to be there waiting for him, finding his room empty still made his heart clench sadly anyway. Levi wasted little time in pulling on the rest of his Gear and heading out beyond the courtyard and into the forest; if anyone saw him go they didn’t call after him.

 

After Levi had flown through the trees for a little while he felt his thoughts begin to clear. It wasn’t just Eren that Levi was worried about, though he left Levi’s heart the heaviest. Levi also had to think about the rest of his training group, a collection of bright young kids with their whole lives ahead of them. There was no guarantee that they would all return to the castle, and any gaps in the ranks would be painfully obvious.

 

There was also no guarantee that the other Survey Corps officers would return. Trainees could return with no leader, their mentor stolen from them. Although Levi was often gruff with them all and generally preferred his time alone, a loss of any of the officers would be a small part of him gone. And the loss wouldn’t affect just him; all of the officers were close after enduring so much together. Losing any one of them would hurt everyone remaining. When they returned from this battle and, as Eren had described, counted heads, things would never be quite the same again.

 

And Erwin. What would happen if Erwin died in this fight? The Survey Corps would be without its Commander and Levi would be without one of his closest friends. The man who had saved Levi’s life, loved him, and cared enough to let Levi go. Levi had Eren now – or maybe not, depending on if Eren ended things after their last conversation – but that would never replace his companionship with Erwin. Losing Erwin would be a heavy blow.

 

Levi continued to sail mindlessly through the trees until these thoughts had been given time to work through his mind. He had learned that suppressing them would only make him more anxious. Levi had to process the thoughts and then set them aside. Because yes, there would be loss and it would hurt like fuck, but they were fighting for something worthwhile. This wasn’t just about them; it was about fighting for a fair society where everyone could live happily, rather than just the rich big-shots in the capital.

 

When Levi felt calmer he angled back towards the castle. He wasn’t looking forward to it but he knew he had to have a conversation with Marco, and he expected it to go as well as his previous talk with Eren. Levi found his group in the dining room chatting after finishing their lunch. Eren wasn’t among the group but Levi set that thought aside. He motioned for Marco to follow him and led him to a cluttered storage room down the hall.

 

Marco’s face fell almost instantly when Levi spoke. “The Commander has ordered that you stay behind. Neither you nor Eren are healed enough for a fight and we won’t put you at risk. You’ll be part of the group that keeps the castle secure.”

 

Marco was silent for so long that Levi started feeling the urge to fidget. Marco started shaking his head at the same time as he released a heavy breath. “With all due respect, Captain, I can’t accept that.”

 

At least he was calmer than Eren, but Levi expected that it wouldn’t last long. “I know it’s frustrating.”

 

“You don’t understand,” Marco kept shaking his head as if in disbelief. “I’m familiar with the capital. I would be able to help Jean and the rest of the team stay safe and use a different escape route if necessary.”

 

“I do understand,” Levi promised him. He had already considered Marco’s familiarity with the capital. “But ask yourself how you would feel if Jean died trying to protect you because your injuries left you weakened.”

 

Marco bit his lip and clenched his eyes closed. It wasn’t an easy thing to accept. “What if…” Marco took a deep breath in and out. “What if I’m healthier by the time we leave? You said we weren’t leaving this week, at least.”

 

Levi hadn’t considered that. “Based on your injuries it’s doubtful you’ll be up to fighting standards,” he said. “But we will keep an eye on your recovery.”

 

“Thank you, sir,” Marco mumbled, head hung low. “Am I dismissed? I’d like to go spend some time with Jean and… think.”

 

“Yeah, get going,” Levi said, not unkindly.

 

Marco left and Levi headed back to his room, intent on peeling off his Gear and taking a long shower. He turned the water scalding and basked in it, feeling his skin pulse where the shower spray cascaded over him. It wasn’t an easy choice, but it was the right one to order Eren and Marco to stay behind. Levi tried not to act too startled when he stepped out of the bathroom and found Eren lying on his couch, eyes red-rimmed and tired looking.

 

Eren sat up and looked over Levi’s naked body openly. Normally Levi would’ve said something snarky in response to the attention but with the tension of their last conversation still in the air, Levi held his tongue. Instead he walked out of view to his closet, grabbing some comfortable clothes and pulling them on. Eren silently moved from the couch to the bed to keep Levi in his line of sight, watching as Levi dressed.

 

When he was finished, Levi sat on the edge of the bed near Eren’s head. Eren lifted himself on one arm and looked Levi over, considering him carefully. Then he sighed and sat up on the bed, weathering his bottom lip between his teeth. “I’m being serious right now,” Eren spoke slowly, considering each word. “I understand the decision. But I can’t accept it. I’m your…” Eren blushed and trailed off, his expression uncertain.

 

Levi swallowed down his own insecurities. “You’re my partner,” he offered.

 

Eren nodded and smiled slightly at the words, though he still looked troubled. “I’m your partner. How do you expect me to stay here knowing you could get hurt or die?” Levi opened his mouth to state his same argument again but Eren spoke over him. “How would you feel if it was me going out there, and you staying behind?”

 

Levi looked away quickly. Even though he wanted to say that he would recognize his limitations and accept the situation, they would both know how big of a lie that was. “Pretty shitty, and very angry,” Levi admitted.

 

Eren sighed tiredly and lay down, pulling Levi towards the middle of the bed until Eren could rest his head on Levi’s thigh. “So what do we do?”

 

Relieved by Eren’s close proximity, Levi slipped his fingers into Eren’s hair. “You’re not coming with me after Nile,” he stated again. “I’m going for a stealth approach so I can’t have anyone else with me. But we’ll keep an eye on your recovery and see if you can still fight.” That was as far as he was willing to concede.

 

Eren whined unhappily. “But what if… Levi, I can’t lose you.”

 

“Have a little faith,” Levi assured him. “I have no intention of dying, _or_ losing you.”

 

Feeling a little more confident, Levi tugged Eren up and caught his lips in a soft, slow kiss. Eren melted into it and kissed back, moving to lie fully on top of Levi just to share heat and feel their bodies pressed together. The mood was too melancholy for sex but Levi didn’t feel disappointed; all he needed right now was to have Eren in his arms.

 

#

 

Levi woke up when he heard a gentle tapping on the door. Eren didn’t stir at the near-inaudible sound but Levi had been sleeping lightly, awaiting that sound since lying down hours earlier. It was a bit of a chore slipping out of Eren’s embrace without waking him but eventually Levi managed it and rushed on silent feet to the door. Erwin was there, already dressed in his Gear and cloak. “Are you ready?”

 

It wasn’t a question of preparedness; Erwin could see that Levi was still in his sleeping clothes. Erwin was asking if Levi was internally ready to do this, to slip out in the middle of the night and seek his vengeance. The thought of confronting Nile and making him pay had Levi’s body tense with anticipation, but the sound of Eren’s quiet snores left a pit in Levi’s stomach.

 

He had debated about telling Eren that he and Erwin would be leaving before the rest of the group but had eventually decided against it. Eren would have never slept properly if he knew, though Levi’s intentions were not so pure. Levi was a coward; he didn’t know how to say goodbye in case it was their last time. He knew, deep down, that if Eren was awake right now, Levi’s answer to Erwin would be “no”. So before bed, Levi had kissed Eren a little longer, held him a little tighter, and if Eren noticed a change he didn’t say anything and just returned the affection twofold.

 

Levi forced himself to not look back towards the bed when he answered. “Yeah. Give me ten minutes to change.”

 

“I’ll have breakfast ready downstairs,” Erwin said and departed.

 

As quietly as he could, Levi closed the door and grabbed his bag from the corner to take it into the bathroom. He already had his outfit chosen and set aside so he didn’t need to dig through everything or make too much noise. It didn’t take him long to change, and he had already given Erwin his blades to hold onto so that Levi didn’t accidentally scrape any metal and wake Eren up.

 

Walking back out into the room, Levi found it impossible to walk past the bed without pausing. Eren was still sleeping peacefully, though there was a slight frown marring his face. The urge to give up his need for revenge, to slip under the blankets to curl up with Eren again, call off the fight for both of them and just guarantee that they would see another day together was overwhelming. But Levi had to remember that this was about more than just the two of them.

 

Erwin’s target was taking out the head of the royal court and getting Mallina, the soon-to-be new ruler, out of prison. Pixis, who Levi and Erwin had decided to trust and give him a chance to prove himself, was going after the King since he was still trusted and was most likely to be able to get through at least some of the guards without bloodshed. That left the third kingpin: Nile, head of the Military Police. If any of the three leaders were left, the whole battle would be moot. And Nile was Levi’s to end.

 

With a sad sigh Levi turned from the bed and left the room. He met Erwin and Pixis in the dining room, which was otherwise empty and dark, save for the one lantern Erwin had lit and left on the table. Their larger Survey Corps group had taken up brief residence in the city just south of the capital, and this safe house’s dining room was massive. The three of them ate a little food in tense silence, thoughts far away on things they hoped for, people they feared losing, and wondering what the end of this long day would look like.

 

The other Survey Corps officers knew not to expect Erwin and Levi in the morning and to follow through with plans as previously ordered. Groups would be led through different areas of the underground city to avoid detection as long as possible, and to emerge from the underground close to their specific targets. Levi couldn’t think about his training group anymore – about Eren and Marco in particular who had both talked themselves into the fight with the promise of being cautious and acting as scouts for the most part. It left Levi too anxious and he pushed those worries away.

 

While Levi and Erwin were decked out in their Survey Corps cloaks, Pixis was still donning his old Military Police cloak in order to help him get through the guards. However, Levi had been mildly impressed to see that beneath the cloak, Pixis had chosen to wear his old Garrison jacket. They didn't linger and headed outside as soon as they were finished eating and prepared. The battle had specifically been organized to take place during a new moon, giving anyone needing to get in position at night the proper cover to hide in the shadows.

 

Levi, Erwin and Pixis weren't above ground long before climbing down a sewer drain in one of the back alleys near the safe house. It was even darker in the underground city than above, devoid of the dim lighting provided by the twinkling stars overhead. None of them spoke as they sailed over the underground slums, staying close to the ceilings to avoid stirring any of the unfortunate occupants who called this place home. From above, Levi could see a few people lit up where they slept close to open fire pits, trying to fight off the dampness of the caves.

 

Without having to worry too much about Military Police as they traveled – the Military Police avoided the underground city like the plague – Levi and the others made good time. Once the sun rose, anyone moving around would need to go slower and be cautious. However, Levi, Erwin and Pixis were mere shadows moving among thicker shadows.

 

It didn't take long for them to reach their destination. The three of them landed on the ground far below the grate allowing a teasing hint of lantern light to flicker through. No one would be expecting an attack from below here; the drop from the grate to the ground without Gear would surely be deadly. This was Levi's stop. The grate would open up just outside the residence buildings built for any important officials or dignitaries to stay when visiting the King. Nile had a permanent assigned room there as the head of the Military Police, and it would be his final resting place.

 

Erwin and Pixis would continue further on; Erwin to the residences for the royal court and then onto the special residence built to be Mallina's prison, and Pixis to the castle to deal with the King. Although everyone who would be taking part in this fight was vital in their own way, Levi knew that their group of three held the true fate of this battle in their hands. Betrayal or failure from any of them would have their goals crumble around them. Loyalty and trust would ideally mean that by the time Eren and all the others woke up to complete their own tasks, the battle would already be won.

 

Before Levi could move away, Erwin stood in front of him and swept Levi up into a tight hug. Levi struggled to breathe as the hug crushed his lungs. "I thought we agreed not to do goodbyes," Levi wheezed.

 

"This isn't a goodbye. It's a 'good luck'," Erwin said quietly and pressed a warm kiss to Levi's forehead. "Be safe."

 

"You too, you big oaf," Levi hooked a hand on the back of Erwin's neck to force him to bend over, placing his own light kiss to Erwin's forehead. "Don't get yourself killed or I'll kick your ass."

 

Erwin chuckled and finally ended the hug. Levi felt immediately bereft, knowing that this very well _could_ be goodbye. "We'll meet back at the safe house," Erwin said confidently.

 

Levi nodded. "It'll be over before we know it."

 

Before any of them could think of anything else to say to make the parting more difficult, Levi released the grappling hooks of his Gear and soared upward. The grate was easy enough to unclasp and push open, and as quickly and silently as possible Levi pulled himself out into fresh air. He replaced the grate and ducked into one of the alcoves built into the wall. From where he was hiding Levi could see the whole inner field. The King had a special wall built specifically around his 'inner sanctuary' to keep anyone unwelcome out.

 

Levi could see the lanterns dotting the wall across the expanse of the field, though it was far enough away that the lights were mere pinpricks on his vision. The dignitaries' residences were directly on his right, a short distance away from the main gate for supplies and visitors to pass through the wall. Further down were the royal court residences, and in the centre of the field was a small lake and a lavish castle reaching into the sky. The prison and supply rooms would be underground, taking advantage of the cave systems below.

 

With a quick glance to the sky Levi guessed that he probably had an hour left before the sun rose, after the time they had taken to prepare, eat and travel here. That would be more than enough time as long as Nile was where he was supposed to be. Levi knew that there would be plenty of guards on the wall, watching for any approaching attackers, as well as a few other guards stationed on the rooftops and around the residence buildings. Erwin had provided Levi with the floor plan of the building but it would be too dangerous to approach Nile's room from outside where he could be spotted. He would need to get inside and go from there.

 

Levi took a long time watching the guards, ensuring that he had their routine memorized and knew the exact moment he could move for the door without being seen. The longer he remained hidden the more impatient he got; Nile was _so close_ and Levi only had so long before the full attack would start and alarm bells would ring. However, he reminded himself silently that rushing would only bring an untimely end to his revenge.

 

As soon as his opportunity arose, Levi dashed for the door and slipped into the residence building. He strained his hearing, listening for any sign or sound to indicate that a guard had seen him. Nothing came, the surrounding area remaining peaceful and quiet. Levi began walking on light feet down the hallway, floor plan memorized as he approached Nile's quarters. It was lucky for Levi that no one was staying in any of the rooms immediately surrounding Nile's, but he would still have to be quiet.

 

Outside Nile's door, Levi pulled a cloth from his pocket. He couldn't have Nile screaming for help. He listened intently at the door, and though he heard no snoring, he also heard no sign of movement. Taking a risk, Levi shouldered the door open and pushed it closed behind him. His eyes took in the empty bed a second before they skirted to the left where he found Nile standing by the window. Nile was staring out blankly at the darkness, though he jumped and turned at the sound of the door clicking shut.

 

Nile had a dagger in one hand but its range was short and Levi was faster than the head of the Military Police. Before Nile could attempt more than one stab in Levi's direction, or realize that his attention should be on screaming for help, Levi dodged the blade and crowded into Nile's personal space. He jabbed his elbow into Nile's stomach, knocking the air from his lungs, and then twisted his wrist cruelly. The dagger clattered to the ground a second after the sickening sound of cracking bones filled the room, and Levi covered Nile's mouth with his free hand to muffle the gasp of pain.

 

Taking advantage of Nile's moment of distraction from the pain, Levi shoved the cloth into Nile's mouth and tied it around his head. Nile grunted and swung a punch at Levi with his non-broken hand and Levi winced when the fist landed on his collarbone hard, but he didn't withdraw before the cloth was in place. Nile attempted another hit but this time Levi jumped out of reach and then swept Nile's feet out from under him. If it was anyone else, Levi would've felt bad when he heard bones crunch when Nile instinctively threw out both hands to break his fall.

 

Levi ignored the sobs of pain and drew his swords quickly. He pointed the tip of one sword against Nile's stomach, close enough that any sudden movement could cause serious damage. The blade of Levi's other sword pressed against Nile's neck, cutting a mere hair's depth into skin when Nile swallowed thickly. "I would suggest not moving," Levi said quietly, poised over his prey.

 

Nile whimpered and looked up at Levi from the ground. Tears were streaming down Nile's face but his eyes were sharp with fury, Nile's teeth bared around the cloth stuffed into his mouth. Levi paused for a second, wondering what Eren would think if he saw Levi acting like this. Such greedy violence; Levi felt less than human in this moment. But he didn't care right now. This act was in Eren's name but it was very much _for_ Levi, satisfying his thirst for revenge. Nile had threatened too much to be let go.

 

"You miscalculated," Levi told Nile, pleased that Nile's gaze did not waver away from him. "If you had come after me I would've given you a proper fight. I would've given you a quick death." Levi remembered his fear when he found Eren in the dungeon, when his consciousness faded away. Fear fuelled anger and Levi put more weight on his sword, cutting a groove into Nile's stomach. Nile's eyes widened and he cried out, his pleas going unheard. "But you didn't," Levi continued darkly, eyes narrowing. "You went after Eren. Now you will suffer for it."

 

Nile was cradling his broken wrist against his chest, but he threw his other hand out in a wide arc. Levi didn't move away. He took the blow to his arm, feeling it throb upon contact. He merely bared his teeth in return, relishing in the sensation of his sword digging deeper into Nile's stomach at the man's own movements. Immediately Nile fell back against the wall and reached down, cutting his hand as he tried and failed to pull Levi's blade from his skin. At this rate it would be Nile causing his own death, his movements leading to enough internal damage to bleed out.

 

Nile clenched his eyes closed for a moment as more tears fell free. "Mon—ser!" Nile tried to mouth around the cloth.

 

"A monster? Yes, I know," Levi said, unbothered. "But it takes a monster to recognize a monster, does it not?" He grew angrier when Nile turned his face away. Levi growled and put more pressure on the blade against Nile's neck, tilting his chin up. "What sort of monster tortures and poisons young boys rather than face his enemy directly?"

 

Nile tried to shake his head, but stopped quickly when the cut on his neck deepened.

 

Levi leaned closer. "You have been corrupted by the power you received. It's time to cut you down to size." There was a sick squelching sound when the sword cut further into Nile's internal organs. "But trust me when I tell you I can make the process incredibly slow."

 

Nile continued to sob quietly, but otherwise did not fight back. By now he realized that any sort of movement in retaliation would just cause further damage. Levi was almost...disappointed. Nile had been the enemy for years. And since Eren had been attacked, getting revenge on Nile was all Levi had been able to think about. Now he had Nile snivelling on the ground, ready to be taught the lesson he deserved – not just for what he had done to Eren, but the way he had been taking advantage of his command over the Military Police all these years. But it was all so anticlimactic, and Levi found himself suddenly wondering why he was wasting his time on this.

 

He glanced to the window and felt his stomach clench when he saw that the sky was beginning to lighten; dawn had probably just broken over the horizon, far beyond the walls. Eren would have woken to an empty bed by now and realized that Levi had left ahead of him. At this very moment Eren would be joining the fight somewhere in the capital, still not fully healed and likely irrationally angry and hurt by Levi's leaving without saying goodbye. Any stray blade or bullet could catch Eren in the fray, and here was Levi, playing out some desperate revenge fantasy.

 

Levi huffed out a breath, angry at himself. He needed to get his priorities sorted out. "Goodbye, Nile," Levi said simply. Before Nile could do more than frown with confusion, Levi slashed Nile's neck quickly. Nile twitched as a wet gurgling sound filled the room as he bled out. It was a painful death, but still much quicker than Levi had originally planned. Not that he cared now. Levi stayed long enough to watch Nile's eyes dim and then he was moving, rushing out of the building and back into the underground city.

 

He knew where Eren would be stationed for the fight and it would be faster if he sailed above the city. However, he didn't want to risk running into any unnecessary fights on his way, or alerting any Military Police who might not yet be aware of the battle heading their way. Levi traveled over the underground city as quickly as he could manage, ignoring the people watching him from below. Levi had done what was necessary, but now his only instinct was to return to Eren's side, to ensure they both survived this bloody day.

 

Levi knocked aside the correct grate to pull himself out into a shadowed alleyway. He could hear fighting above and around him and Levi didn't hesitate before launching himself into the air. As soon as he managed to orient himself, Levi turned south and flew. He recognized the Wings of Freedom on the cloaks of his trainees as they fought in a group, protecting each other as Military Police pressed in and tried to tear them apart.

 

He spotted Eren at the edge of the group, standing on a rooftop and using his swords to ward off two separate Military Police fighters. Levi could only imagine how painful Eren must be finding it to hold aloft and swing his sword with his injured shoulder, but that wasn't Levi's main concern. As his eyes swept the scene, Levi noticed another Military Police member tucked away on another rooftop a short distance away, his gun cocked and aimed directly at the back of Eren's head while he fought.

 

It felt like someone had dumped a bucket of ice water over Levi's head. There was no time. Levi couldn't reach the gunman or Eren before the bullet flew, and even though Levi screamed so loudly that his throat felt torn, Eren couldn't hear him over the din of battle. With only one choice, Levi aimed his Gear, confirmed his trajectory, and launched himself between the gun and Eren.


	24. Chapter 24

His eyelids felt as heavy as stone when he tried to open them. As his consciousness came back to him slowly, Levi groaned when he felt a sharp and pulsing pain deep in his abdomen. He rubbed at his eyes and forced them open, taking in his surroundings blurrily. Levi was surprised to realize that he recognized the room; it was his bedroom back at the castle.

 

Every inch of his body felt lethargic and achy, like he had been asleep for an age. Levi tilted his head slowly to the side and took in the sight of Eren sleeping contently beside him under the blankets. The boy's hair was ruffled and his face was relaxed and calm. Sunlight was spilling in through the windows, highlighting little dust motes dancing in the air. Levi rested his head back on the pillow and sighed heavily. He must've died. This had to be the afterlife. Everything was too peaceful and perfect.

 

Except – Levi shifted slightly in bed and gasped, hand racing down to hold his lower stomach when the pain in his abdomen blossomed. Either he was in some horrible version of the afterlife or he was still alive, because his body fucking _hurt_. Tears beaded at the corners of Levi's eyes at the pain, his breathing coming in hurried pants as he tried to talk down his sudden nausea.

 

His movements and noises of pain roused Eren who looked dazed for only a moment before his eyes sharpened with worry. "Don't move! Don't move!" Eren begged him, holding him lightly to the bed. "Don't make it worse!"

 

"Make what worse?" Levi bit out. His skin felt flushed with a sickly heat as his stomach continued to roil. He could feel it now though, when he got a hand below the blankets. His stomach and abdomen were bound tightly with bandages.

 

Before Eren could answer him, the head healer living at headquarters rushed into the room. Levi, only half-aware through the pain, realized that she must've been staying out in Levi's sitting room. She pulled the covers away, showing no indication of caring that both Levi and Eren were sharing a bed dressed only in sleeping pants. The healer tutted and knocked Levi's hand away before peeling off the bandages carefully.

 

Levi swallowed thickly when he saw the small bloody hole in his side, stitched together tightly. "That would explain the pain," Levi said gruffly, though his bravado didn't last when the healer began prodding carefully at the surrounding skin. Eren remained right beside him, letting Levi hold his hand far too tightly without any complaint.

 

"This is looking a bit swollen. You might be getting an infection," the healer informed them before disappearing into the bathroom to wash her hands. A moment later she returned with a bag full of supplies, pulling out a jar of liquid and a cloth. Levi watched as she soaked the cloth in the liquid and then hovered over him. "This may sting," she warned.

 

She was careful in how she brushed the cloth over Levi's wound, but that did nothing to help the way the liquid made Levi's skin feel like it was melting off. " _Fucking shit_ ," Levi hissed through his teeth, clenching his eyes closed as if to ward off the pain. It was over quickly but Levi's skin continued to throb even after she removed the now-bloody cloth. "That was more than fucking _stinging_ , you old hag!"

 

"Levi, she's just trying to help," Eren scolded him lightly. The healer gave Levi a displeased look but otherwise ignored him as she began binding him with fresh bandages; she was used to his attitude and swearing after all these years.

 

"You should be thankful your wound isn't any worse," she chided him lightly. "The fact that the bullet exited your body and didn't hit any internal organs as it passed through is a miracle in itself. But that doesn't mean you're going to be healed anytime soon. Drink this," the healer said as she poured a different liquid onto a large spoon. Levi couldn't tense his stomach muscles without feeling excruciating pain so Eren helped him sit up on his elbows slightly. "This will help you sleep through the pain."

 

Levi turned his mouth away when she offered the spoonful of medicine. The thought of sleeping through this pain was tempting, but he had more questions first. Levi turned to meet Eren's eyes, relieved beyond measure that Eren was safe, seemingly healthy, and here with him. "How long have I been asleep?" Levi asked Eren.

 

"You've been awake a few times since the battle so we could give you some food and water," Eren explained. "I'm not surprised if you don't remember though. The medication the healers gave you to help with the pain and healing was strong and left you pretty out of it. You didn't even seem to notice when we brought you back to HQ in a cart."

 

"The battle," Levi said tightly. The pain in his core was getting worse, emanating out to his extremities. Now that he knew that the bullet had passed through his body, he could also feel a second pinprick of pain on his lower back where the bullet must have entered. "How long ago? What happened?"

 

"Captain, I really must insist," the healer grumbled and prodded his arm, drawing his attention back to the offered spoon.

 

"It ended four days ago. We won," Eren told him, though he didn't look as happy as Levi thought he should at such a statement. "Sleep; I'll tell you the details later."

 

While Levi was distracted, the healer managed to grip his chin and force the spoon into his mouth, Levi swallowing on instinct. The medicine was bitter and Levi gagged. Immediately after he groaned and cursed under his breath, pain coursing through him when his stomach clenched. It felt like someone had shoved pieces of broken glass into the hole in his abdomen. Eren lay Levi back against the pillows and Levi didn't have the strength to fight him, to remain sitting up on his own.

 

Already he could feel artificial sleep tugging at his mind, his eyelids drooping. "The others?" Levi croaked, gripping Eren's arm. "Erwin?"

 

He was asleep before he heard an answer.

 

#

 

It was dark in the room when Levi woke up again, and quiet. From where he was lying Levi could see that two candles were lit, one on the bedside table and the other out in the sitting room where the healer was no doubt getting some rest. Levi glanced over and saw Eren lying on his back beside Levi, staring blankly at the ceiling. "Hey, brat," Levi nudged him, drawing his attention.

 

Eren looked over quickly and sat up, still careful of his recovering left shoulder. "You're awake." The relief was obvious in Eren's tone.

 

Levi couldn't help but scowl slightly. "Not my fault I fell asleep when I had medicine shoved down my throat."

 

Eren frowned, eyes narrowing and hands balled up into fists twisted in the sheets. "It was for your own good!" he said. "After you decided to be the fucking hero and throw yourself in the way of a bullet."

 

"If it hadn't hit me, it would've hit you," Levi reasoned. He didn't, and would never regret his choice.

 

"Leaving me to watch you die on me," Eren snapped.

 

"But I didn't die!"

 

"By sheer fucking luck!" Eren shot back. "You _left_ ," Eren's voice broke. "You left without saying goodbye. I didn't know if I'd ever see you again, or if your body would become one of many in the piles after the battle." Tears were trickling down Eren's cheeks now, illuminated by the candlelight. "And then you come sailing in. I didn't even _know_ ; Mikasa was the one who saw you get shot and fall and got my attention. I turn and what do I see?" Eren's bottom lip wobbled. " _You_ , bleeding out on a nearby rooftop. _Fuck_ ," Eren sobbed harshly as he raised his hands to cover his face. "I would hit you if you weren't already injured."

 

"Eren..." Levi found it hard to swallow as he watched Eren's pain manifest, knowing he would feel exactly the same if their roles had been reversed. Anger, fear, and desperate relief. Levi was going to try to defend his actions but the words died on his tongue and instead he said, "I'm sorry."

 

Eren wrapped his arms as tightly around Levi as he dared. Levi winced at being jostled but the hug was what he needed. He wrapped his own arms around Eren in return, holding him close and pressing his face against Eren's neck. Levi breathed him in. "I love you," Eren whispered, though somehow it sounded more like a plea. _Please don't leave me, don't let me lose you_.

 

"I love you too," Levi whispered back, pressing a kiss to Eren's temple. "I'm not going anywhere. Literally," Levi added with a grumble. He doubted he would be moving from bed, or beyond the castle for a long time to come as his body slowly recovered and healed. Eren's tears tickled Levi's jaw and neck where they fell until Eren pulled away long enough to wipe his face and Levi's skin dry. Levi brushed a hand over Eren's leg where he could reach, not able to roll onto his side or sit up on his own. "I'm really glad you're okay," he said a bit shyly.

 

With a hiccup, Eren gave Levi a watery smile. "Me too. _Me too_."

 

Eren leaned in and kissed Levi softly. The kiss tasted of salt and anguished hearts, but as they held each other closer and deepened the kiss Levi felt warmth wash over him. They were both alive and safe, and though they had wounds that would need time to heal, they had that time now. When their lips parted and Eren sat back, Levi forced himself to ask his questions, even though he was scared to hear the answers. "The others?"

 

Eren rubbed the back of his neck and glanced away. "No one in our training group died, though some of my friends in other groups did," Eren said. He listed the names and Levi nodded, resting his hand on Eren's knee in what he hoped was a form of comfort. Levi hadn't been close with any of the people Eren mentioned, but that didn't mean the loss of life was an easy thing to brush off, especially since the trainees had been so young. Their lives had barely even begun.

 

"The squad leaders?" Levi asked next.

 

"All fine, miraculously. At least, all the ones I met," Eren bit his lip. "I haven't heard any news about the fights around the territories to know. Squad Leader Hanji and Mike are in temporary command right now."

 

All at once it felt like a pit had opened up in the bottom of Levi's stomach. "Erwin?" Eren didn't answer and the silence was unbearable. " _Eren_ ," Levi insisted desperately.

 

Eren's eyes remained on the blankets rather than meet Levi's searching gaze. "I don't know. I'm sorry."

 

"What do you mean, you don't know?" Levi tried to sit up and groaned in agony, falling back against the bed.

 

Eren was there immediately, fretting over him. "Levi, please just take care of yourself for once," he begged, face etched with worry. "I don't know because we haven't heard from him yet. Maybe Mike has heard from him where Mike's staying on the edge of the capital, but news hasn't reached us yet."

 

Four days since the battle? There would be no reason why they hadn't heard from Erwin yet, unless... Levi threw an arm over his eyes, trying to swallow down his tears as his nose stung. "C'mere," Levi requested weakly, holding out his other arm towards Eren. Understanding Levi's request, Eren lay down and curled up against Levi's side. Levi wrapped his arm around Eren to hold him close, taking comfort in his presence. That didn't stop the tears that fell when he blinked, or the agony in his heart. "That fucking man..." Levi said shakily.

 

"I'm sorry," Eren mumbled. Despite his general possessiveness, Eren's voice sounded understanding.

 

"He died fighting for what he believed was right," Levi insisted, forcing the words out even though his throat felt strangled.

 

Eren rested his head on Levi's chest and Levi let his tears fall freely.

 

#

 

"You should go out and enjoy the sun," Levi suggested. "You must be sick of staying in here by now. I sure as fuck am."

 

"I don't mind," Eren said, and even though Levi believed him, he wanted Eren to enjoy the nice weather. Although Levi knew that Eren left the room sometimes when Levi was sleeping the hours away to spend time with his friends, Eren was always prompt in returning. Most of his time was spent getting food for Levi, helping him eat and drink and shower. Levi could stand and move a tiny bit on his own but it was safer to have Eren beside him, supporting his weight and reaching the areas Levi couldn't without bending over at his stomach.

 

Levi had accepted quickly that being stubborn wasn't going to make anything easier, and that he would be healing for a long time. Months, certainly, though he should be able to move around and take care of himself more by that point. "I've already had my shower, lunch is a few hours away and the healer will be here soon to change my bandages," Levi reasoned. "Go while you have the chance."

 

Eren hesitated. "Are you sure?"

 

"Yes," Levi sighed. "Just give me my book before you go."

 

"Alright," Eren finally gave in. He set Levi's book on the bed beside him, having already helped Levi sit up against the pile of pillows at the head of the bed. Eren kissed Levi softly, held him tightly, and then walked haltingly to the door. "I'll be back in a few hours at most."

 

"And I'll be fine until you do," Levi promised, shooing him out the door.

 

He managed to get a few pages of his book read before the healer came back. It wasn't exactly pleasant whenever she visited since Levi got jostled around as she checked his two bullet wounds – the one on his front and back – cleaned them and put fresh bandages on. Levi always ached by the time she was finished, though he didn't complain too loudly since he knew the importance of fighting off infection. It wasn't like his wound was a small scrape.

 

When the healer was finished she offered him more of the bitter medicine that would help him sleep but Levi shook his head. The pain was still brutal but he was tired of sleeping; his whole body ached from lying in bed for too long. She didn't fight him and left, giving Levi some quiet time alone to read. Thinking was inevitable when left alone in the room but Levi tried to push the thoughts of Erwin aside. Lingering on the questions he may never get answers to just caused him more pain, and he already had enough of that.

 

Levi guessed that he had been reading for about an hour when he heard the door in his sitting room open and close slowly. Levi looked up, ready to tell Eren off for worrying too much. Instead he felt his jaw go slack when Erwin stepped into the room. Levi looked him over quickly, taking in his appearance. Erwin's skin was a little paler than normal, though he had a few scrapes across his face and hands. Most prominent was the fact that Erwin's right arm was bandaged and resting in a sling.

 

"You're alive..." Erwin said as he stepped closer hesitantly. "Mike told me you were, but I was scared to hope until I saw you myself."

 

Anger bubbled up inside Levi quickly. "Yeah, well thanks for fucking letting _me_ know that _you_ were okay, you blond piece of shit." Instead of arguing, Erwin sat on the edge of the bed and leaned forward to hug Levi carefully with his uninjured arm. Levi hugged him back as much as possible without putting a strain on his abdomen. "What the fuck happened, anyway?" he asked when they pulled apart.

 

"The prison was more crowded with guards than I had anticipated," Erwin said. "While I was dealing with some of the others, one of the guards got a good swing. Sword nearly cut me to the bone," Erwin tilted his head towards his right arm. "I won't be using this for a while, but the healers have assured me that I won't lose it. What happened to you?" Erwin's eyes filled with concern as he took in Levi's bare chest and bandaged abdomen.

 

"Bullet in the back and out the front," Levi explained with a shrug. "Hurts like a bitch but I'll live."

 

"Glad to hear it," Erwin sighed, looking a little nervous. "I'm sorry I didn't send word sooner. Even though the battle in the capital and the territories ended quickly, the battle between the royalty and officials lasted longer. I stayed to make sure that Mallina was safe on the throne and properly protected before I left. Not to mention the few days I was under the healers' care and not allowed to do more than breathe."

 

Levi snorted, knowing what that felt like. "Everything went well then?"

 

Erwin nodded. "Mallina is on the throne. Her first focus is to deal with the aftermath of the battle but then she will be working on bringing balance back to all the territories. They found Nile after you dealt with him," Levi's gaze met Erwin's, though there was nothing more that needed to be said about Nile. "Pixis has taken over command of the Military Police for now, organizing the capital's recovery and making sure Mallina stays safe."

 

Levi lay back against his pillows, his relief leaving him exhausted. "Do you think it'll be enough? What if Mallina changes her intentions, or Pixis?"

 

"We did what we set out to accomplish," Erwin said strongly. "I have done everything in my power to bring in a change and put people in power that I trust to make the right choices. Many died for this cause," Erwin said. "I will not let my fear of repeated history trick me into making enemies for no reason other than the comforting familiarity of having an enemy to fight. For now I will watch and hope, and heal," Erwin added as an afterthought. "Something we both need."

 

"I'm so sick of being in bed," Levi complained.

 

"Whereas I'm looking forward to finally being able to lie down," Erwin chuckled. "Mike didn't exactly let me rest when I finally showed up at the safe house."

 

"He's well?" Levi asked. Eren had mentioned that Mike was in temporary command of the Survey Corps group in the capital, but he wanted to make sure for Erwin's sake.

 

"He is, thank you," Erwin smiled. "And I saw that Eren seems safe and well when I arrived a short while ago."

 

"He better be after I took a bullet for him," Levi grumbled.

 

"We lost many good men and women over the last few days, during the battle or afterwards due to injury and infection," Erwin said quietly. "As selfish as it is of me, I'm glad you and Eren were not part of the group we lost."

 

"Same, old man," Levi said. "I thought you had gone and died on us."

 

"I'll pull through," Erwin promised with another smile. "And now we have the rest of our lives to find a new mission." Erwin glanced at him. "Any ideas?"

 

"Eren mentioned wanting to see the ocean," Levi said thoughtfully. "If things stay settled within the walls, finding out what's beyond them sounds like an interesting adventure."

 

"I like the sound of that," Erwin hummed thoughtfully. "For now I think I'm going to fall into bed and pass out for a few days."

 

Despite Levi's constant complaining about having to stay in bed, he felt his own eyes drooping with exhaustion. The emotions Levi felt at finding out Erwin was still alive were tiring even though they were positive. He didn't bother hiding his yawn. "I guess my body agrees with you. Was Eren out in the courtyard when you got here?"

 

"Yeah, do you want me to go get him for you?" Erwin offered.

 

"Don't be stupid; I'm not making you go all the way back downstairs," Levi rolled his eyes. "Just help me lie down. My abdomen still hates me."

 

"Well you did get it torn apart by a bullet," Erwin reminded him as he used his left arm to help support Levi until he was able to lie on his back to sleep. "Sleep well, Levi," Erwin said when he stood from the bed. "When we're both a bit better maybe we can play a game of chess. I don't think we'll be up to much more for a while."

 

"Yeah, sure," Levi nodded and yawned again, letting his eyes slip closed after Erwin excused himself and the door clicked shut behind him.

 

Levi was half asleep when he heard the door again, and he blinked blurry eyes open in confusion. "What are you doing here?" he asked when he saw Eren.

 

"Erwin mentioned that you were looking for me," Eren fidgeted, perhaps still a little nervous about Levi's past relationship with Erwin.

 

Not that Levi had specifically told Erwin so, but he was happy now that Eren was here. "Yeah, come here," Levi ordered, beckoning Eren closer. Eren easily lay down on the bed beside Levi, looking uncertain. "You know I love _you_ , right?" Levi asked, fingers twisting in the collar of Eren's shirt.

 

Eren blushed and grinned. "Yeah," he said, sounding a little more confident.

 

"Good," Levi said. "Then you should hurry up and kiss me."

 

Eren didn't need further prompting. Their lips brushed and Levi felt a spark ignite in his chest. He cared about Erwin and was overwhelmingly relieved that he was alright, but Levi's love for Eren was something different entirely. He hooked an arm around Eren's neck to hold him close as they continued to kiss, though Levi had to pull away before either of them got too worked up. Even though he wanted to claim Eren's body again, to feel them join in the most intimate way, he was nowhere close to healthy enough for that yet.

 

"I'll stay if you want me to," Eren offered warmly as he moved under the blankets.

 

"Just until I fall asleep," Levi said, shuffling over the tiniest bit to rest his head against Eren's chest.

 

"I'll be here when you wake up," Eren held him close, and Levi fell asleep listening to the calm beat of Eren's heart.

 

#

 

Levi stood with an arm curled around his middle, offering some sort of support to his stomach and abdomen as he remained standing. He could feel the stitches pulling his skin taut beneath the bandages on his front and back but he ignored it. Earlier in the morning when Eren had helped Levi into his uniform, Eren had suggested that they get a chair or something for Levi to sit on in the courtyard. All it took was one dirty glare from Levi to silence the idea entirely.

 

This was graduation. Levi was going to stand, thank you very fucking much. He wasn’t _that_ decrepit. After two full weeks of rest in bed Levi was officially on the mend. It would take him another few months _at least_ to be fully healed, and the healer was stubbornly refusing Levi’s demands to begin stretches and exercise for another week. However, Levi still wanted to stand tall and look over the courtyard ceremony.

 

He stood on Erwin’s left side while Mike stood on Erwin’s right. Erwin’s arm was still in a sling but he was a lot more mobile than Levi, a fact Levi grumbled over daily. It helped that Levi was now allowed out of his room during the days, just getting a fresh set of bandages each morning and night and another spoonful of medicine to fight off infection. But Levi was growing increasingly impatient, wanting to be fully recovered. Logic was ignored, even when he reminded himself that the war was over and there was no rush to be healthy again.

 

To keep busy, Levi spent some mornings playing chess with Erwin and slept in other days. But with the nice weather, Levi forced himself outside with Eren each afternoon. Sometimes they went for a slow-paced walk around the courtyard and other times Levi ended up in the common rooms playing cards with his group. The mood was still subdued at times, everyone overly aware of those dead and gone, but everyone made due and kept each other going.

 

“You should all be very proud of your accomplishments,” Erwin’s voice rang out across the courtyard. All of the remaining trainees stood in rows facing him, while the front row was filled with one long row of folded Survey Corps cloaks; recognizing the trainees who had lost their lives during the battle. “I am very proud of you all, and to be your Commander. You joined us at a very dangerous and uncertain time, but you were determined and diligent and never wavered. We would not have been successful without each of you. Do not think otherwise.”

 

Erwin had already listed off the names of those who had died in the battle; trainees as well as other officials, though many of the veteran fighters who had perished were people the trainees never knew since they were stationed far away from HQ. Everyone hung their head willingly though. They were comrades, brothers and sisters in arms fighting for the same cause even if they had not shared idle conversation or meals.

 

“Today is your graduation. You are no longer trainees, but fully fledged Survey Corps members. However, from the moment you flew into battle so bravely with the Wings of Freedom on your backs, there was never any doubt in my mind,” Erwin continued. Levi felt a tiny shiver run down his spine; how did Erwin always manage to speak this way and make it look so easy? Levi would’ve sounded like a sarcastic asshole if he tried doing this speech.

 

Everyone gave a cheer and Erwin paused for a moment, smiling out at his troops. Near the front of the group Eren was standing close, grinning up at Levi, and Levi offered a small, proud smile back. The rest of Levi's old training group were there as well, taking up half of the second and third rows. They were all standing a little closer together, their bonds stronger than ever after everything they had recently been through together. Mikasa, Armin, Jean, Marco, Connie, Sasha, Annie, Bertholdt, Reiner, Ymir and Christa; what an odd collection, and yet Levi was glad to see them all still standing there, each and every one of them.

 

“You have endured a great deal to get to where you are today,” Erwin spoke up over the quieting chatter, silencing the courtyard easily. “And you have many opportunities ahead of you. We will meet with each of you to discuss your options. Some of you may choose to be stationed around the territories, protecting equality and fairness, and perhaps moving back closer to home. Others…” Erwin swept his gaze across the crowd, rested on Levi for a moment, and then looked back out to the courtyard. “…may be interested in taking part in our newest endeavour to explore beyond the outer wall.” Excited murmurs broke out amongst the group. Erwin had a knowing smirk tugging up the corner of his mouth. “For now, rest and celebrate. You’ve earned it.”

 

Realizing that the speech and the ceremony was finished, there was another resounding cheer before everyone broke from their lines to group together and chat. Levi remained on the steps, working himself up to the pain he knew that was ahead of him when he walked back up the stairs to his room. “So you told them,” he said conversationally to Erwin. They had discussed the possibility of going beyond the wall multiple times over the last two weeks, but he hadn’t known when Erwin would want to announce the idea to the group.

 

“Too soon?” Erwin wondered, raising an eyebrow.

 

“I don’t think so,” Levi shrugged.

 

“I just wanted them to realize they had options other than choosing where they wanted to be stationed,” Erwin explained. “I like the idea more and more and while I know many will want to move back to their home cities to be with their families and work there, I am hoping some will choose to stay.”

 

“I bet they will.” In particular, Levi expected to see significant interest from his own training group.

 

“Do you have any plans for the day?” Erwin asked, Mike walking over to stand beside him after finishing a short conversation with Hanji.

 

Levi met Mike’s gaze briefly and nodded before answering Erwin’s question. “Chasing Eren out to go celebrate,” Levi said. “And then I was thinking of doing some cleaning. My room is disgusting.”

 

Erwin laughed. “I doubt that, judging by how you’ve had Eren running around keeping things tidy. Nor do I believe the healer would be happy hearing that you’re moving around so much.”

 

“She can deal with it,” Levi waved him off.

 

“You can join Mike and me,” Erwin offered easily. “We were thinking of going for a walk after lunch.”

 

Levi rolled his eyes. “Keep your romantic walk through the forest to yourselves. I don’t need to watch the two of you making eyes at each other.”

 

Mike looked a little uncomfortable but Erwin could tell when Levi was joking, and gave him a light nudge on the shoulder. “Do try not to tear your abdomen open while cleaning, alright?”

 

“Yes, _sir_ ,” Levi said sullenly, though still joking.

 

As Erwin and Mike walked away, Eren came bounding up to him with a big grin on his face. "What do you want to do today?"

 

As Levi had suspected. He narrowed his eyes in warning; they already had this discussion. "You are going to get your bag packed so you're ready to go on that camping trip," Levi said pointedly. "And I'm going to hobble back to my room."

 

"You don't honestly expect me to leave you alone right now, do you?" Eren gaped.

 

"I'm fucking capable of taking care of myself for a few days, you little shit," Levi grumbled.

 

Eren's answer surprised him. "I know." Levi looked up at him a bit cautiously and Eren continued, sheepish smile on his face. "I know you're capable of taking care of yourself. That doesn't mean I don't want to stick around and help when I can."

 

Instead of answering, not quite knowing the right words even now for the warmth in his heart, Levi hooked a hand on the back of Eren's neck and dragged him down into a chaste kiss. He knew there were still a few people milling around, possibly looking, possibly not, but Levi didn't care. When their lips parted their eyes met. Levi's expression hadn't changed much. "Now go pack."

 

Eren pulled Levi into another, deeper kiss and laughed into it, and for some reason the sensation of that had Levi's heart fluttering as he dug his fingers into the soft fabric of Eren's shirt.

 

#

 

" _Levi_..." Eren moaned breathily.

 

Levi groaned and fought for the self control to push Eren's head away. Not that he could do much to really stop Eren, who was kneeling between Levi's knees and making it impossible to pull his legs closed. Nor could Levi really sit up without some discomfort to push Eren far enough away. So Levi gave Eren a weak shove and then Eren was back, mouthing hungrily at Levi's half hard cock through his underwear. "Stop that," Levi snapped. "That's not fair when you know I can't fuck you yet."

 

They had already tried at least three times over the last month and a half. Levi was at the point now where he could do daily exercises and move around more easily with less discomfort, though it would be at least another month before he could slowly begin to practice with his Gear again. However, that did not mean he was capable of holding himself up or placing his faith in his stomach muscles to support him long enough to finger Eren open, let alone bury his cock into Eren's arching body. Each time left him wincing at the pain and panting on the bed, trying to recover.

 

They had managed, of course. While Levi was completely incapacitated for the first three weeks after getting a bullet through the abdomen, as he began to heal he barely managed to rein in his libido. It didn't help that Eren had gotten himself all hot and bothered waiting for Levi, teasing both of them before being forced to withdraw when they both realized pursing some form of coupling would cause more harm than good.

 

But one morning about three weeks since the end of the battle, Levi woke up and felt a bit different. His body was aching less everywhere except between his legs, his cock swollen from whatever dream he had been having. Trying to sit up to kneel over Eren to give him a blowjob was a bad idea, but Levi could easily reach over beneath the blankets with a hand. Eren mumbled a few quiet moans into the pillow before waking up, and by that point he was fucking precome into Levi's fist. With glassy eyes Eren had reached over and messily jerked Levi off in return, and they had come moaning into each other's mouths.

 

The blowjobs and handjobs were great, but at this point Levi was desperate to be buried deep inside Eren's body again. And he couldn't, not yet. But Eren just kept on mouthing at the outline of his shaft, lapping at the slight ridge of the head with a hot, wet tongue. "I had an idea," Eren eventually lifted his head, licking his lips nervously.

 

"Oh?" Levi hummed.

 

Eren bit his lip. "I could fuck you instead."

 

Before the battle Eren had also hinted at his desire to eventually reverse roles and claim Levi's body in return. Levi had been hesitant, especially since Eren really didn't know what the hell he was doing. But when it came down to it, Levi _trusted_ Eren. Despite how narrow-focused Eren could get when he was horny, Levi knew that Eren would take his time to avoid hurting Levi. "Think you're up for it?" Levi said, half teasing.

 

Eren gave a pointed glance down to his fully erect cock. "I'd say so." Eren knew what Levi was really asking, and he pressed a warm kiss to Levi's thigh. "You can tell me what to do."

 

"Get the damn lube then and stop making me wait," Levi said and pushed Eren away. While Eren was grabbing a condom and lube from the bedside table drawer, Levi snatched a pillow from the head of the bed and carefully moved it under his body. He could still feel the ache of his healing muscles when he raised his own body slightly, though he could manage it long enough to position the pillow so that it was supporting his lower back and canting his hips the way he wanted. Eren's eyes were hungry when he returned to kneeling between Levi's legs. "Like what you see?"

 

"Fuck yes I do," Eren breathed, eyes roaming freely.

 

Levi twitched his hips up in a hinting manner. "Then get on with it."

 

Not needing further orders, Eren set the lube and condom down just long enough to slide Levi's underwear down his legs and off. Eren's own underwear joined the pile on the floor immediately after, and then Eren grabbed the lube. "It's been a while so go one finger first," Levi said. "But it shouldn't take me long to get to two."

 

Eren scowled at the mention of Levi's previous sexual encounters, though he didn't hesitate in coating two fingers with lube. "I guess you bottomed often before..."

 

"Problem?" Levi raised an unimpressed eyebrow. Eren was pouting and he didn't say anything in response. When Eren lowered his coated hand, Levi closed his legs to bar him entry. Eren looked hurt when their eyes met and Levi tried to quell his annoyance. "I thought we got over the whole Erwin thing. That's in the past."

 

Although Eren's fingers were shiny with lube, Eren seemed to forget. He looked away sadly, eyebrows furrowed. "You were so upset when you thought he had died though... I don't know when I've seen you that openly emotional."

 

"If Armin or Mikasa had died, how would you have felt?" Levi asked. The look of shock and agony on Eren's face was enough of an answer. "Exactly. It's the same thing. I care for Erwin; of course I do. And I'd be pretty fucking upset if he died, yeah. But do you know what I would have done if _you_ had died?"

 

Eren glanced up shyly. "You would've cried?"

 

"I would've done more than just fucking cry," Levi said seriously, gritting his teeth at the mere _thought_ of waking up in bed after the battle, the way he had except that the bed was empty, the healer explaining to him in apologetic tones why Eren wasn't there to greet him... "I would've torn the world – and myself – to shreds. But you didn't die, and I'm grateful, so is it too damn much to ask to hurry up so I can feel you inside me already?"

 

Eren's shy smile turned sly. "That desperate for it?"

 

"I'm desperate to pound your ass," Levi clarified. "But I can't, so this will do." Before Eren could get all uncertain and self-conscious again, Levi decided to add, "I just want to _feel_ you."

 

Eren's first finger slid in easily without announcement, Eren pressing in as soon as Levi spread his legs invitingly again. Levi closed his eyes to focus on the sensation of Eren's finger inside him, brushing his inner walls and thrusting curiously in and out. "You're really hot," Eren breathed. Levi didn't know if Eren meant that as a compliment or was literally commenting on the heat of Levi's body clenched around him. Levi didn't care; he smirked and hummed.

 

"Add another finger."

 

"Already?" Eren asked a bit worriedly.

 

"Trust me, I can take it," Levi shifted his body down slightly, forcing Eren's finger in to his second knuckle. Eren groaned and pushed his second finger in beside the first. Levi forced himself to keep his breathing slow and not shuffle around too much as he adjusted. It had been a long time now since Levi had bottomed or had anything inside his ass. Eren's fingers were a little smaller than Erwin's but it still felt good. "Not bad."

 

Without warning Eren shoved both fingers as far into Levi's body as he could and Levi threw his head back in surprise as a gasp was torn from his lips. He clenched his eyes closed for a moment, breathing through the intrusion. It had stung a little, just the tiniest bit. But that forceful and greedy thrust of fingers that forced Levi to stretch around Eren was just what Levi needed to have his cock twitching against his stomach. "Good?"

 

"Yeah," Levi nodded. "More like that." Eren withdrew his fingers just long enough to slick them anew, coating a third digit this time. Two fingers entered Levi in a rush and pumped into him a few times with an eager urgency that made the slick sound of skin and lube fill the room. "Fuck," Levi huffed. "If I knew you liked a pace like this I would've held you down and reamed you a lot sooner."

 

"You should've," Eren said in a rush. He couldn't put weight on Levi's abdomen so instead Eren's free hand clutched Levi's thigh so tightly that each fingertip dented Levi's skin. "I would've screamed your name."

 

"You already do," Levi reminded him.

 

"Louder," Eren promised.

 

Levi made sure to keep it in mind for when his full strength returned to his abdomen, but for now he dug his heels in to angle his hips up and take Eren's fingers deeper. "Enough talking, give me the third."

 

Eren didn't ask him if he was sure. There was a moment of resistance when Eren's third finger pressed against Levi's ass, the tight ring of muscles refusing to budge. Levi breathed in, held it, and released it in a rush as Eren's third finger managed to wiggle in. Levi's fingers dug into the blankets. He stared at the ceiling with unseeing eyes, focused on Eren's fingers sinking in inch by inch until Eren's hand was against Levi's ass. He thought that would be it, but then Eren massaged his thumb against the skin behind Levi's balls and Levi felt his hips jerk up automatically as lightning struck him.

 

"What the _fuck_..." Levi moaned.

 

"Not good?"

 

Eren began to withdraw and Levi snapped his gaze down. "Don't you dare stop."

 

"I read it in one of the books I got from that collection a long time ago," Eren explained as he repeated the movement. Three fingers buried deep inside Levi's body, loosening him for more as Eren's fingertips not-so-subtly searched for Levi's prostate. At the same time the warm pad of Eren's thumb massaged Levi's perineum, sending sparks of arousal up Levi's spine.

 

"I don't give a shit where you learned it. Just don't stop," Levi insisted.

 

"You wouldn't care if Greg taught me?" Eren teased.

 

They hadn't talked about Eren's partner in sexual experimentation in a long time and the name triggered a growl low in Levi's throat. "Get inside me before I change my mind," he warned. Teasing aside, Eren had no reason to deny that order. He withdrew his fingers and wiped them clean on the blankets, assuming correctly that Levi would demand they change them after their coupling. Eren slid the condom on his cock and grabbed more lube. As Eren fisted himself to spread the lube, Levi watched the way Eren bit his bottom lip. The flush on his cheeks darkened and crept up to his ears. It was hot as hell to watch Eren jerk off while looking over Levi's body, but Levi refused to let Eren accidentally spill in his hand. "Hey, brat," Levi hiked his hips up and gave Eren an expectant look. "Don't expect me to beg."

 

For just one second Eren looked like he was considering trying to make Levi beg. Then he gave in to his own arousal and shuffled closer, positioning himself between Levi's legs. The head of Eren's cock nudged against Levi's ass and popped in, but then Eren froze. Levi held out both hands, beckoning silently. Eren laced their fingers together, smiling curiously, and yelped when Levi yanked him forward and caused him to lose his balance. Eren managed to hold himself up over Levi's body so he didn't cause damage, but both of them moaned loudly into the air when Eren's cock sunk in to the base in a rush.

 

"Wow, _fuck_ ," Eren whined, warm breath brushing against Levi's skin. "This feels so— _so good_ ," Eren choked when Levi purposefully clenched his ass around Eren's throbbing cock. The tremor he felt working through Eren's body made Levi smile in pleasure.

 

"Now you know why I like to top," Levi laughed a bit breathlessly.

 

Eren shook his head, green eyes glazed. "There's no way—no damn way anything could feel better than you do."

 

To Levi's surprise, he felt a blush warm his cheeks. He didn't know what to say though, so he carefully rocked his body down on Eren's length. "Don't tell me you're all talk."

 

"Fuck no," Eren grinned.

 

Eren's fingers dug crescents into Levi's skin where he gripped Levi's arms for purchase and Levi had no intention of knocking him away. The first few thrusts of Eren's cock out and back into Levi's body were a bit uncoordinated, especially when Levi tried to arch upwards to meet the angle. It didn't matter to either of them as they slowly worked into a rhythm together, a demanding push and pull of their bodies blending into one.

 

Levi wanted to lift his body more fully off the bed, control the pace from below and help Eren find his prostate. However, lying back for once and just looking up, watching Eren's body move and work them both through their pleasure was incredibly arousing. Levi brushed his hands over Eren's bare chest, skimming over sweat and tweaking nipples teasingly to drag ragged whines from Eren. Levi could tell that Eren wouldn't last long with the friction of thrusting hungrily into Levi's ass, and the thought of Eren losing control and spilling quickly had Levi's own orgasm creeping up on him faster than he expected.

 

"Levi, I'm sorry, I—I can't..." Eren trailed off, breathing hard. "I'm so close."

 

"Then fill me," Levi said, because he wanted nothing more in this moment than to watch Eren lose himself in Levi's body.

 

"Levi... _fuck_ ," Eren sobbed and clenched his eyes closed. Eren moved his hands down to clutch Levi's hips, holding him still as Eren hammered in again and again. Levi could tell the moment Eren broke and tumbled over the edge. His nails dug into skin until it stung, his spine arched and Eren's mouth parted in a silent scream as his whole body shuddered and jerked forward.

 

As Eren ground against Levi's ass and spilled his come in the condom, Levi reached down to fist himself frantically, licking his lips as he watched Eren. Because they were alive and together and _fuck_ , Levi had never loved anyone the way he loved Eren. With a long drawn out groan of Eren's name into the air, Levi came in a rush across his fingers and stomach. He cursed at the twitch of pain when his back bowed but Eren was right there, aware enough to slip an arm under Levi's back to support him while Levi twitched and rode out his orgasm.

 

When they were both spent and relaxed, Eren slowly lowered Levi back onto the bed and then withdrew carefully. Once he had removed the condom Eren lay half on top of Levi, sharing body heat to fight off the chill as their bodies cooled. Their sharp breathing was loud in their quiet bedroom and neither of them could seem to keep their hands to themselves, fingers mapping familiar skin simply because they could and there was no reason to hold back.

 

"Hey, Eren."

 

"Yeah?" Eren looked up at him.

 

Levi brushed a few tears away from the corners of Eren's eyes with a thumb. "Why are you crying?"

 

Eren sniffled and wiped at his own face, though he was smiling warmly. "Because I'm happy. You're crying too, you know."

 

"No I'm not." With his clean thumb Eren brushed Levi's cheeks and only then did Levi notice the wetness on his face. "I didn't realize," Levi admitted.

 

"Are you happy too?" Eren wondered softly.

 

Levi smiled tiredly, body worn out. "Yeah, I am. I love you, after all."

 

"Yeah," Eren chuckled and leaned forward to kiss him softly. "I love you too."

 

#

 

"Think you're ready?"

 

"We've been preparing for six months," Eren shot back. "I'm _more_ than ready."

 

Levi manoeuvred his horse a little closer to Eren's own horse. They were positioned in rows in front of the southern gate built into the outer wall. Erwin, Mike, and Hanji were ahead of them, speaking to Pixis and the other Military Police guards standing by at the gate operating system. It had taken a while for Erwin to discuss the thought of going on an expedition beyond the wall with Pixis and Mallina, but in the end he managed to get agreement from both of them to support the venture. It had taken even longer to get the southern gate in working order again to open and close when needed, but it wasn't like the Survey Corps had been in a rush.

 

Levi would've skinned them all if they had left before he had time to heal. It worked out though; in the time Levi healed and regained his strength, they completed their preparations for the adventure ahead. They needed time to get materials and supplies stockpiled and organized, as well as for Erwin to draft out a plan for how they would approach the great expanse of unknown territory beyond the walls. None of them knew what to expect; what dangers or delights awaited them. But they trusted Erwin to lead them.

 

Levi's old training group – now a collection of fully-fledged Survey Corps members – were all flanking Levi and Eren and talking among themselves. They had been given an opportunity to join some of the various Survey Corps outposts along with other members, but none of them had hesitated to stay at headquarters. Some of them had paired up but in the end they were all a family, bound together by the past to face the future together. Petra, Gunter, Erd and Auruo had also decided to join in on the adventure, though they were near the back of the group along with the other Survey Corps members from other training groups who had decided to stick around.

 

Levi noticed Eren staring at the Military Police by the gate and nudged Eren's arm, catching his attention and sending him a questioning look. Eren shifted uncomfortably in his saddle and posed his worry. "What if they won't open the gate to let us back in? How do we know they can be trusted? We put new leaders in control, but what if the power just goes to their heads the same as before?" Eren sought Levi's gaze. "Do you think things will really change for the better?"

 

Eren's fear was understandable. The Military Police had been their enemy for so long it was hard to see them as anything else. But over the years Levi had learned the importance of finding something to believe in. Nothing could be accomplished without a bit of trust and faith. "I don't know what the future holds; none of us do," Levi said. "We just need to make the choices we think are best."

 

He saw that Erwin was heading back to his horse and pulling himself up in the saddle, Mike and Hanji joining him on his left and right. When the gate first began to open there was a metallic groan as the gears began to turn. Eren jumped slightly and looked forward, eyes a little wide. Then he looked back at Levi. "So we just wait?"

 

"No, we won't sit idly by. We're going to go find your ocean together." Levi smiled at the memory. Eren grinned excitedly and reached for Levi's hand across the small space between them, squeezing his hand. Levi knew Eren would've preferred a kiss – as would Levi – but their laced fingers were enough for now.

 

The gate opened wider and Erwin looked over his shoulder at his group. His eyes landed on Levi and then everyone else. And then Erwin called out one announcement, "So begins the Survey Corps' first expedition beyond the outer wall!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Final author notes:** Thank you so much to everyone for reading this story and sharing your thoughts. I know many of you were thrown off by the pairings and/or the pacing of the story, so I really appreciate each and every one one of you who gave my story a chance and had a little faith ;)
> 
> Regarding **future Ereri fanfics** , I have three Ereri fics that are in-progress, as well as two other fics that are planned out that need to be written. Since I've been suffering from wrist injuries the last few months I've fallen behind on my writing pace. However, I do plan to post more Ereri fanfics as soon as I'm able so if you have enjoyed my stories so far, **please feel free to subscribe to me here on AO3 and follow me on[my Tumblr](http://onewhositswiththeturtles.tumblr.com/) to be updated as soon as new stories are posted**.
> 
> Thanks again!

**Author's Note:**

> **You can check out[here](http://onewhositswiththeturtles.tumblr.com/) to follow my Tumblr for info about me and story updates.**
> 
> \+ I will be tracking this story under #fic: placing faith


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